Kokabiel POV
"Was that really necessary, brother?" Michael asked, wincing as the impact echoed across dimensions.
"He tried to conquer Heaven while we were fighting a war. Yes, it was necessary."
Michael didn't argue, but I could see the concern in his eyes. Not for Indra, for me. He sensed something was wrong.
I turned Indra's chariot back toward Heaven. The celestial horses obeyed without question, recognizing something in me that demanded absolute submission. Michael stood beside me silently.
"It's a nice ride." He tried to lighten the mood.
"Right? Felt a shame to leave it." I replied with as much enthusiasm I could muster.
Michael noticed the difference. But he didn't push me. He really trusts Kokabiel... oh that was me .
Before we crossed into Heaven's territory, I stopped. Michael looked at me questiongly.
I reached into the dimensional space where I kept important things and pulled out the Heaven's Key.
"Take this." I held it out to Michael.
He stared at the glowing artifact like I'd just offered him a live grenade. "Kokabiel, what are you..."
"You need to start learning how to use this. I'll be here for a couple centuries to help with the transition, but you should get familiar with it now."
"Centuries? What are you talking about? The war just ended, we need to rebuild, and you're already planning to leave?" His voice cracked slightly on the last word.
"I'm not leaving today, Michael. Or tomorrow. Or next year. But eventually, yes." I pushed the Key toward him. "Heaven needs someone who can actually lead. Someone the angels can connect with. Someone who can feel what they feel. That's not me. Not anymore."
"You're the best leader we have, You ran Heaven smoothly in father's absence."
"I'm effective. There's a difference." I kept my voice steady, trying to inject some warmth and failing. "Please, just take it."
Michael's hand closed around the Heaven's Key slowly. The artifact pulsed once, twice, like a heartbeat synchronizing. It recognized him immediately, Yahweh's wisdom in action.
But I could feel it maintain its connection to me as well, as if unwilling to fully let go of its original bearer.
"I don't understand," Michael said quietly, staring at the golden light emanating from between his fingers. "Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye when you just said you're staying?"
"Because part of me already left. The part that knew how to be your brother properly. The part that could care the way you deserve."
I turned the chariot toward Heaven's barrier. "But the part that's good at killing gods and organizing ? That's still here. And that's what Heaven needs right now."
"That's not what I meant, brother." Michael started, then stopped. His wings drooped slightly. "You sound so distant. Like you're not even here. When you talk, it feels like you are reading from a script someone else wrote."
I paused. "That's an accurate assessment, we'll talk when the others are present as well. Come now, they are waiting, and we have a lot of work to do."
We crossed through Heaven's barrier in silence.
Heaven appeared before us in all its devastated glory.
The realm that had once been perfect, crystalline spires reaching toward infinity, streets of pure light, gardens where celestial flowers bloomed in colors that didn't exist in mortal realms, was now a gloomy and broken. Yahweh's death affected the stability of heaven itself. If I didn't have the Heaven's Key, it might be even worse.
But despite the destruction, angels were everywhere. Moving with purpose.
A group near the gates was hauling debris, their white robes stained with dust and blood. Another team was attempting to repair a collapsed wall, their wings creating scaffolding as they worked.
Raphael's healers moved between the wounded, their hands glowing with restorative light.
They were in a somber mood. They lost their father after all. They tried to feel hopeful, as was their nature, but they couldn't.
They needed a spark, however small it may be.
Then they saw us approaching.
Someone shouted. I didn't catch the words, but the effect was immediate. Angels stopped working to turn and stare.
Then someone cheered despite the sorrow.
It started as a single voice, probably Sandalphon, he always was loud; but spread like wildfire. Within seconds, hundreds of angels were cheering, their voices creating a harmony that resonated through Heaven itself.
Lord Kokabiel has returned. The war is over ! We won!
I tried to smile at them. Pulled my facial muscles into what should have been a warm, reassuring expression.
It felt wrong. Like wearing a mask that didn't quite fit. But I held it anyway because they needed to see hope, not emptiness.
We landed in the central plaza, or what remained of it. The crystal platform that had hosted countless celebrations was now cracked in a dozen places.
Angels immediately surrounded us. Not threatening—desperate. They needed news. Needed confirmation. Needed to know that the nightmare was finally over.
"Is it true we won?"
"Are the Devils really dead?"
"What happened to Lucifer?"
"Where's Indra's army?"
The questions came from all sides, overlapping, urgent. I could see the hope and fear mixing in their eyes. They'd survived but didn't dare believe it yet.
I raised my hand. Just a simple gesture for attention.
The effect was immediate. Silence fell across the entire plaza like someone had hit a mute button. Hundreds of angels, all holding their breath, waiting for me to speak.
"My siblings, the war is over," I announced, letting my voice carry with divine authority. "The Devil faction has been eliminated mostly. Lucifer, Beelzebub,Asmodeus and Leviathan are all dead. Their army has been destroyed. The civil war completely ends today."
For a moment, nobody moved. They were processing. Trying to believe something they'd been fighting toward for so long that victory felt impossible.
Then someone collapsed. Just fell to their knees, overwhelmed. That broke the spell.
Angels were crying. Embracing each other. Some laughed hysterically. Others just stood there in shock. A few looked guilty. Survivor's guilt, probably.
Why did they make it when so many others didn't?
I continued over the noise: "Indra's invasion has also been repelled. His army suffered catastrophic casualties. The survivors fled back to Swarga. Indra himself..." I paused, considering how much detail to provide. "...has been dealt with. He won't trouble Heaven again."
More cheering came. They needed to somehow forget and focus on something that didn't make them despair.
I let them have their moment. They'd earned it. They'd fought. They'd died. They'd survived. They deserved to celebrate.
But celebrations didn't rebuild walls or heal wounds.
"Michael will be taking over management of Heaven's systems, while I shall help him with the duties." I announced once the noise died down slightly. "I've transferred the Heaven's Key to him. From this moment forward, his commands carry the same weight as Father's. Follow them as you would have followed Father's."
That caused murmuring. Concerned looks. Angels glancing at each other uncertainly. They saw me govern heaven for the past year, they had faith in me.
Michael stepped forward, the Heaven's Key glowing in his hand, and I felt a flash of something, pride, maybe? Or the memory of what pride used to feel like. He looked nervous but determined. Exactly what Heaven needed.
"What about you?"
Gabriel's voice cut through the crowd. She pushed her way forward, her blue eyes fixed on me with an intensity that would have made me uncomfortable if I could still feel it.
She'd always been too perceptive. The cheerful angel who could see problems before symptoms appeared.
"Where will you be?" she pressed when I didn't answer immediately.
"Here. For now. I'll be helping Michael transition into leadership. Assisting with reconstruction. Making sure Heaven's stable before..." I caught myself. "Making sure Heaven's stable."
Gabriel reached the front of the crowd, standing directly in front of me. Studied my face with the same clinical assessment.
Whatever she saw made her eyes widen. "Brother... what happened to you?"
Her voice was quiet. Concerned. After spending over 3000 years together, she saw through my fake smiles.
"We'll talk later, sister." I said. "Right now we need to organize reconstruction."
Penemue stood back, looking at me with scrutiny. She looked rather worried. I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it didn't work. She knew me better than that.
I raised my voice, addressing the crowd again: "Michael, start coordinating repair efforts, prioritize the defensive barriers and critical infrastructure. Raphael, organize the healers. I need a proper order. Critical cases first, stable cases can wait.
Gabriel, get me a full casualty report. Numbers, names, ranks. Azrael, begin recording the fallen properly. They deserve to be remembered. And prepare for a funeral. We have to send off our father and fallen bretheren. Penemue, gather a list of materials needed for repair, and contact the Devils and Fallen angels for a talk."
I was issuing orders efficiently. I had done this before after all.
The angels moved to obey, their celebration dampened by the return to reality. There was work to do. Penemue gave me a look before walking away. Probably will ask me what happened privately.
Only my closest siblings remained in the plaza. Gabriel. Michael. Raphael. Azrael. A few others who'd been with me longest.
They all wore variations of the same expression: relief that I was alive, concern about what I'd become. They sensed the difference in tone and the lack of sincerety. They were angels after all.
Gabriel approached slowly. "Your eyes," she said quietly. "They're... empty. Like you're not really in there anymore."
"I'm still here." I met her gaze, trying to inject warmth into my expression. "Just different."
"Different how?"
"Let's talk in my quarters. We should have this conversation somewhere private."
She hesitated, then nodded. "Fine. But you're not avoiding this discussion."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
The lie came too easily.
My quarters were in the inner ring, less damaged than the outer sections but still showing the scars.
Someone had tried to clean. The scorch marks were scrubbed but not gone. Several of the light crystals that provided ambient illumination were shattered, leaving shadows in the corners.
My desk was overturned. Books scattered across the floor. One of my star charts had been torn, the ancient parchment ripped nearly in half.
I stared at it for a moment. That chart was three thousand years old. Irreplaceable.
Yet I felt... nothing. Just observed that something valuable had been destroyed.
Gabriel entered behind me, followed by Michael, Raphael, and Azrael. The door closed with a soft click that sounded too loud in the sudden silence.
"Alright," Gabriel said, crossing her arms. "Explain, brother. What happened to you out there? And don't give me vague non-answers. I'm your sister, the one who's been there with you since the very beginning. I deserve the truth."
I turned to face them. Four of my closest siblings. Four angels who'd known me closely for millennias. They deserved better than what I was about to tell them.
"During the battle with Indra and his gods, I was losing," I started. " Three of their strongest fighting in perfect coordination. Each one nearly as powerful as Lucifer, Indra stronger than the heavenly dragons. Together, they were overwhelming me."
"But you won," Raphael said . "Obviously."
"I won by paying a price." I paused, trying to find words that would make sense. "There was something inside me. A power I'd been avoiding since my awakening. Something fundamental that I knew would change me if I touched it."
"What kind of power?" Michael asked carefully.
"The kind that transcends angelic nature. The kind that elevates you beyond conventional existence into something... else."
I looked at each of them. "I became perfect, in a sense. A being of pure logic and capability. No weaknesses. No limitations. No—"
"Emotions," Gabriel finished, her voice barely a whisper. "That's why your eyes are empty. That's why you feel wrong. Your essence is gone."
"Mostly gone," I corrected. "Not entirely. I can remember what they felt like. I know intellectually what responses are appropriate in given situations. I can simulate emotional reactions well enough to function in social contexts."
"Simulate," Azrael repeated. His dark eyes studied me with an expression I couldn't fully understand. "You're pretending to feel things rather than actually feeling them."
"Yes." I nodded.
"So everything you've said since returning..." Michael's voice was strained. "Every reassurance, every expression of relief, every attempt at warmth..."
"I tried to be as sincere as I can, Michael. I'm going through the motions because I remember that's what you need. But the genuine emotion behind it isn't there."
Silence fell .
Gabriel moved first. Walked right up to me until we were inches apart. Looked up at my face with eyes that were starting to glisten.
"Do you care about us at all?" Her voice cracked. "About me? About Michael? About any of your siblings?"
I tried to figure out the right answer. The honest one. The one that wouldn't hurt her.
But I want her to know even if it's painful. She deserved it.
"I remember caring," I said carefully. "I have memories of loving you. Of valuing our bonds. Of feeling protective and fond and connected. Those memories are vivid. Detailed. I can access them perfectly."
"But you don't truly feel them now."
"I am unable to."
She slapped me.
Not hard. Gabriel wasn't violent by nature. But the gesture carried weight beyond the physical impact. The sound echoed in the quiet room.
"You selfish idiot!" she said, and now tears were definitely falling. "You survived everything. Beat Lucifer. Beat Indra. Came back alive when we thought you were dead. And the price was your humanity?"
"I was never human, Gabriel. I'm an angel."
"You know what I mean!" She grabbed my robes with both hands. "The part of you that cared! The part that made stupid jokes with Penemue! The part that helped me plant gardens because it made me happy! The part that was my brother!"
She shook me, or tried to. I didn't move. "Where is he? Where did he go?"
I wanted to comfort her. Wanted to feel the appropriate sadness at causing her pain. Wanted to promise it would be okay.
"He's still here," I said quietly. "Just buried deep down." I gently removed her hands from my robes. "I can still defend heaven and angels both. That's what Heaven needs."
"That's not what Heaven needs!" Gabriel shouted. "Heaven needs angels who care! Who fight because they love what they're protecting, not because it's strategically optimal!" Her voice broke. "I want my gentle and kind brother who loved me! Whom I love dearly even now!"
"Heaven needs balance. Michael can provide the care. I'll provide the protection." I replied simply.
"For how long?" Michael asked. "You said you're leaving eventually. When?"
"When Heaven's stable. When you've learned the systems thoroughly. When the other pantheons have accepted the new order. When my presence here becomes more liability than asset." I paused. "Probably a couple centuries. Maybe more if recovery goes well."
"Recovery?" Azrael spoke up. "You think you can recover those emotions?"
"I don't know. Maybe. I'll need to try living as something smaller. As something closer to human. Experience limitation again. Remember what it means to care about small things. Maybe I can learn from them again."
I looked at each of them. "But that's for later. Right now, Heaven needs organization. Structure. Leadership that actually functions."
Raphael, who'd been silent until now, finally spoke: "You're terrifying, you know that? Standing there, calmly discussing the loss of your emotions like it's nothing. Looking at your sister crying and showing no reaction beyond mild concern for optimal social response."
"I know. But that's who I am now. I remember the bond we share. I should not lie to you."
"Do you? Do you really understand how disturbing this is?" Raphael who is always calm, got angry.
"Intellectually, yes. Emotionally, no. I can't feel disturbed anymore. I can only observe that my current state disturbs others and attempt to mitigate that response."
"How?" Gabriel demanded, wiping her eyes angrily. "How do you change the fact that you're essentially a different person wearing Kokabiel's face?"
I felt.. hurt? "By being useful. By protecting Heaven. By making sure the sacrifices weren't meaningless." I met her eyes. "By trying to be a good enough imitation that you can pretend your brother's still here."
"That's not!" She stopped. Took a shaky breath. "That's not good enough."
"I know. But it's all I have to offer right now."
Michael moved closer. Put a hand on Gabriel's shoulder. "Will you at least try?" he asked me. "Try to connect with us? Even if it's fake?"
"Yes. I'll try. That's all I can promise."
Azrael studied me for a long moment. "The fallen angels. The memorial. Will you pay your respects?"
The question caught me off guard. "Of course. I still consider you all family. "
Azrael interrupted, his voice harder than I'd ever heard it. "But can you truly mourn them? Can you show them the respect they deserve?"
"I can't mourn properly, Azrael. The grief doesn't work anymore."
"Then learn it!" Azrael's voice rose, surprising everyone. He was usually so calm and controlled. "If you can fake concern for reconstruction, fake concern for the dead! They deserve that much! They died believing you cared about them!"
The words hit harder than they should have. Logically, he was right. My previous self did inspire a lot. They followed me with absolute trust.
"You're correct," I said after a pause. "I'll try for everyone's sake."
They were all hurting. First their father perished. Then their always reliable brother became like..this. I didn't blame them. They will realize in time, atleast I hoped so.
Gabriel wiped her eyes again. "I can't do this right now. I need..." She turned toward the door. "I need to get back to the wounded. At least they're honest about being broken."
She left before anyone could respond.
Michael looked between me and the door. "I should go after her."
"Probably wise."
He started to leave, then paused. "Kokabiel? Earlier, when you said the part that was good at protecting Heaven still remains?"
"Yes?"
"That's not all Heaven needs. We need more than a weapon. We need a brother. A friend. The person who we dearly love." His expression was pained. "Even if you have to fake it. Try harder. For Gabriel's sake, Please."
Then he was gone too.
Only Raphael and Azrael remained.
Raphael leaned against the wall, arms crossed. "You handled that badly."
"I'm aware."
"Gabriel's right, you know. About the humanity thing. You had more humanity than most of us despite being an angel. That's what made you special. Now you're just..." He gestured vaguely at me. "Cold and efficient."
"Efficiency serves Heaven better than sentiment right now."
"Does it? Because from where I'm standing, you just devastated your sister and disappointed your brother. That doesn't seem particularly efficient for morale."
She had a point.
"I'll work on the how I speak." I said.
"Work on more than just speaking. Work on actually trying to connect. I know the emotions are gone, but you're smart enough to figure out what responses people need. Give them that, at least."
"Noted."
Raphael pushed off the wall. "I'm going to help Michael. Try not to emotionally devastate anyone else today."
Then she was gone too.
Azrael remained. The Angel of Death. The record keeper. The one who saw everything and judged nothing.
"You're in pain," he said quietly.
"I can't feel pain. That's the problem."
"Not physical pain. Existential pain. The awareness that something fundamental is missing. The recognition that you're not who you were. That's a different kind of suffering."
Was he right? Was there some level of awareness below conscious thought that recognized the wrongness of my current state?
Maybe.
"If that's true, I can't access it," I said.
"Perhaps that's for the best. Knowing you're broken but unable to feel appropriately broken might be worse than simply being broken." He moved toward the door. "Come. I'll take you to the memorial. "
The memorial was a massive crystal wall erected at the edge of the central plaza.
It hadn't existed before the war. Someone, probably Azrael, had created it specifically to honor the fallen. The wall was perhaps fifty meters tall and twice as wide, made of pure crystal that caught and reflected light in ways that made it seem alive.
Names covered every inch of the surface. Thousands of names. Carved into the crystal in elegant script that glowed faintly. Each name representing an angel who'd fallen in the war. Brother and sister angels who wouldn't see Heaven's restoration.
I approached slowly. Read the names.
Metatron. One of the original Seraphs. Killed by the seven sins in the early battles.
Ezekiel. Always cheerful. Always optimistic. Dead before seeing our victory.
Ramiel. Quiet. Thoughtful. Gone.
Cassiel. Zadkiel. Raguel. Remiel. More names. More losses.
The list went on. And on. And on.
Then name that was the largest.
Father.
That's what he was to them all.
I should feel something. Grief. Sadness. Anger at the waste of lives. Something.
But nothing came.
Just cold observation that we'd lost approximately forty-three percent of our total forces. Significant casualties but within acceptable parameters given the opposition we'd faced.
"Say something," Azrael said softly beside me.
"What should I say?"
"Whatever feels right."
"Nothing feels right. I don't feel anything."
"Then say what you think they'd want to hear. What they died believing."
I stared at the names for a long time. Tried to find appropriate words. Tried to remember what I would have said before the transformation.
I spoke finally: "You sacrificed everything for Heaven. Your deaths weren't meaningless. We survived because you fought. Because you bled. Because you refused to give up even when the odds were impossible."
The words felt hollow coming from my mouth. Like reading a script someone else had written. But I continued anyway:
"We'll honor you by ensuring Heaven survives. By building something worthy of your sacrifice. By making sure the world you died protecting is better than the one you left behind."
Azrael nodded slowly. "That's... good . Not warm or emotional. But respectful. Honest, in its way."
"Is that enough?"
"For now. The angels need to see you acknowledge their sacrifice. Even if you can't feel appropriate grief, showing respect matters."
We stood in silence for several minutes. Other angels approached the memorial. Touched names. Wept quietly. Left offerings Flowers, weapons, personal items.
Nobody approached me. They kept their distance. Whether out of respect or fear, I couldn't tell.
"They're uncomfortable around you," Azrael observed, following my gaze.
"I know."
"You don't seem concerned."
"I'm not capable of being concerned in the normal sense. I can only observe the fact and determine if it's problematic."
"And is it?"
"Potentially. If their discomfort interferes with following orders or impacts morale significantly, yes. Otherwise, it's acceptable."
Azrael sighed. "You really can't hear how wrong that sounds, can you?"
"I can intellectually recognize that most people would find my current perspective disturbing. But I can't feel the appropriate discomfort about it myself."
"That's what I thought." He turned to leave. "Try harder with Gabriel. And Michael. And everyone else. Even if it's fake, they need to see you making an effort."
"I am making an effort."
"You know, depite you being a total jerk now, I still love you. All of us does. You didn't try to hide it from us. That shows you still care for us in your weird way."
I smiled somewhat genuinely. "I know Azrael."
He left me standing in front of the memorial. Surrounded by names. Surrounded by silence. Surrounded by a loss I could comprehend but not feel.
This would be my existence until I figured out how to recover what the transformation had taken.
However long that took.
The system notification appeared in my vision about an hour later.
[SYSTEM REBOOT COMPLETE]
[Welcome back, Host]
[Status Check: Initiated]
[Host Vital Signs: Stable]
[Host Power Level: ERROR - BEYOND MEASURABLE PARAMETERS]
[Host Classification: ERROR - UNDEFINED]
[Analyzing...]
I watched the system struggle to categorize what I'd become. It was almost amusing, if I could still feel amusement properly.
[Analysis Complete]
[New Host Classification: OUTER GOD, Beyond Existence ]
[Warning: Host has transcended standard parameters]
[Warning! Host is an existence beyond the concept of of time. Due the host being a member of the chat group, it will affect the flow of time and nexus events. Recalculating.]
That is concerning. I didn't want them to be affected.
[Dimnesional repair complete. System has Isolated the effect to minimal change]
[Warning: Host has become equivalent to entities system was designed to combat]
[Note: Primary Mission remains unchanged - Combat Outer God avatar corruption across dimensions]
[Note: Secondary Mission added - Monitor Host stability and prevent corruption spread]
So the system was treating me as a potential threat now. Fair enough.
[Dimensional Chat Group: 147 Unread Messages]
It seems they have been discussing about me.
[Flash Goddess: KOKABIEL! Please respond if you are still alive.]
Youruichi was lying on her bed, looking at the chat group with hope. She really is concerned, huh? I saw her life like watching a play. It came instinctively.
[Shadow Monarch: It's been a week since he disappeared. Last messages were repeating his life and death. We all saw that...I just feel so shitty because I couldn't get to thank him for healing my mom.]
I paused at the contradictory feelings from him. Then I saw it , and I was speechless for once since I became an outer god.
Flashback: Solo Leveling World, During the Day of Miracle
Sung Jin Woo stopped watching the stream and headed to the hospital. Although he was concerned for Kokabiel, his family was his first priority. He ignored the flashing system even.
He arrived at the hospital and pushed through the crowd to reach his mother's cabin. There was a large amount of people as many patients magically recovered. Their relatives were also rushing in.
Jin Woo pushed through crowd and reached the cabin. He took a deep breath and opened the door, and almost broke down when he saw his mother awake and talking with his sister.
She turned to look at him and smiled. "Oh my, Jin Woo, you have grown up so much. I'm sorry, I must have slept through all my alarms."
Jin Woo took a few steps and shakily sat down, holding her hand, making Jinah pout. He spoke with broken hope. "Mom, I've been through hell and back. Literally. Almost died, multiple times. Also literally. And I did all that just to bring you back, and ask you one thing."
His mother smiled gently. "What is it Jin Woo?"
Jin Woo asked like a drowing man grasping at straws. "Please tell me. Is Jin-Ah adopted?"
Jin-Ah sitting by their side suddenly looked away, whistling innocently.
Jin Woo's mother looked surprised. " What? Why would you even ask me that?"
Jin-Ah muttered. "For 12 different reasons."
Jin Woo shuddered, remembering some haunted memories he would like to forget. "Just tell me. My heart can't take it anymore."
His mother sighed. "Of course, Jinah is not adopted."
Jin Woo's shoulders slumped, his will utterly crushed.
Somehow Kokabiel heard a sad violin started playing.
Then Jin Woo's mother told him some thing that crashed his broken heart once more.
"You are."
Jinah shouted in shock. "What! He's actually my STEPBRO! So that means....what we did was not real incest!?"
Her mother was shocked. "What!"
"What?"
Jinah immediately pretended she didn't say something horrifying.
[Ding! Stepmom route is now available.]
Jin Woo sighed. "Yeah, I should have seen that coming."
[Would you like to accept this route?]
Jin Woo stood up slowly, walking towards the window. His newly revealed stepmother and stepsister asked with concern.
"Where are you going stepbro?"
"Are you alright, stepson?"
Jin Woo didn't answer them , just jumped out the window to atleast knock himself out, maybe erase the memories.
Bang!
"Oh my god! Jin Woo!"
"Stepbro No!"
A nurse shouted from the hallway. " I'll get the catheater!"
He landed on a car with a pained groan.
[Ding! full recovery activated.]
"Fuck my life. I wanna switch places with Kokabiel,"
His mothers's worried voice came. "Are you alright stepson?"
Jin Woo sighed. "Yes." Then he widened his eyes.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait."
[Stepmom route selected.]
"Noooooo!"
Flashback Ends
Kokabiel sat in silence for a moment, contemplating what he just saw. He just somehow felt it should be hilarious.
He stretched his mouth with his fingers, trying to show a wide smile. But he gave up after a few attempts.
Then he shook his head and read the other messages.
[Last Master of Humanity: My world was almost gone. Not to mention the Throne of heroes became unstable! On top of that, Kokabiel san is still missing.]
Ritsuka was quite affected by my transformation. She was crouched on her bed,wrapped in a blanket. I saw her past, present, and future. She was... an interesting person. Is it wrong to watch someone's whole life like that?
[The Fool: @Heaven's Wrath Respond when possible. I know you are alive. The 23rd path represents you, and without you, it should not exist. I think you succeded in whatever you attempted. But you are afraid to reveal it.]
Klein has become more mature and intelligent. And he became a sequence 7 magician. His Sefirah was also more stable now.
[Advocate of Gender Equality: Did you really die? Please tell me you didn't die. I don't want the gold, just please be alive. Come back and make fun of me man.]
Kazuma was quite worried, although he tried to hide it. Atleast he now had a mansion? I remember he was debt-ridden.
His world will is rather peculiar. Putting the protagonist through such... ordeals. Can't really complain when DxD world will is even worse.
Why create a flow of life based on female organs that are basically...fat? I didn't find the appeal of it. It seems human males prefer them big for some reason. Probably to ensure proper nourishment for their off-spring?
Why am I even thinking of this?
[Girl Who Loves Reading: Something is wrong. His name is still here, so he should be alive. The chat group would have notified us if he was gone. I just hope he's okay. I want to thank him for his gift.]
Robin was mature as ever. She was used to death. Yet she spoke with hope. Her friends are pretty good for humans, despite calling themselves pirates. I found her captain rather amusing to watch.
Dozens more messages. All variations of concern and confusion.
I typed a response.
[Heaven's Wrath: Hello everyone. I'm alive. Devils defeated. Invasion repelled. Currently in Heaven managing reconstruction.] It felt like a report.
I saw my previous interactions and tried to mimic it.
The chat exploded immediately.
[Flash Goddess: THANK GOD! We were so worried! The stream just went black and then nothing! Are you really okay?]
[Shadow Monarch: What happened during the blackout? Your entire being changed completely. It's like you became something else entirely. Klein said something about a new path opening in his world.]
[Advocate of Gender Equality: Changed how? He feels the same to me. Well, through text anyway. Maybe more brooding?]
[The Fool: No. Jin Woo right. Even through the dimensional barrier, Kokabiel's presence feels different. Colder. More distant.]
Perceptive.
[Heaven's Wrath: I transcended during the final battle. Accessed power beyond my previous limits. Became something more than angel.]
[Last Master of Humanity: More than angel? What does that mean?]
[Heaven's Wrath: I became something equivalent to an Outer God. Similar to the entities we are supposeed to hunt. The transformation was necessary to defeat Indra and his pantheon.]
Silence in the chat. The kind of silence that meant everyone was processing something significant.
[The Fool: ...You became an Outer God. An actual Outer God.]
[Heaven's Wrath: Equivalent to one, yes. Not certain of my power levels yet.]
[Last Master of Humanity: Those are cosmic horrors! Entities beyond mortal comprehension! Lovecraftian nightmares! ORT is already bad enough, now you have to drag in those...things? ]
[Heaven's Wrath: I see Kazuma sold you some information about your world. Yes I am one of them. Which is ironic considering the chat group system was designed to fight their corruption. Now I am one.]
[Shadow Monarch: How is that even possible? Outer Gods aren't supposed to be created. They just exist for the sake of existing. They have been there since before the beginning of universes. Even the architect guy wasn't that strong in my memories.]
[Heaven's Wrath: I'm apparently a special case. The only Outer God to be born rather than simply existing since the beginning. The chat group members might find this information concerning. But I felt it's logical to say it outright since we'll be fighting together.]
[Flash Goddess: Concerning isn't the word I'd use! Kokabiel-san, are you okay? You sound different even in text! And did you see that using your omniscience?]
[Heaven's Wrath: I'm okay, I think. The transformation had side effects. Most of my memories and emotions were burned away in the process. I operate on remaining memory, Omniscience, and logic now rather than genuine feeling.]
[Girl Who Loves Reading: That's terrible! Can you recover them? I can't imagine how it's like, being without any feelings.]
[Heaven's Wrath: Not sure. Recovery might be possible if I spend time living as something fragile. Experiencing mortal limitation. But that's centuries away. Heaven needs stability first.]
[Advocate of Gender Equality: Centuries? Dude, you're going to spend centuries without emotions?]
[Heaven's Wrath: Apparently. Though "spend" implies I have a choice. This is simply my current state of existence.]
[The Fool: Your syntax has changed. You're speaking more formally. More precisely. Like you're constructing each sentence carefully rather than just talking naturally. Is that how outer gods try to communicate? I feel like you are a human trying communicate with us who are ants.]
Klein's analytical mind was picking up on details even through text. As expected of the future Foolish god.
Although their understanding of outer god is slightly different from mine. Nobody could truly understand such an existence.
[Heaven's Wrath: That's an ccurate observation. I'm simulating normal speech patterns rather than speaking naturally. Everything I express is calculated for optimal social response.]
[Flash Goddess: That sounds exhausting. You... don't see us as friends?]
[Heaven's Wrath: It's functional. Exhaustion would require emotional investment in the effort. I don't have that anymore. And I do remember our shared memories, although distant.]
[Shadow Monarch: If you need anything, let us know. We're here for you. I owe you one for healing my mother. Although now I have another headache.]
Jin Woo shuddered as there was a knock on his door. "Jin Woo, would you like to sleep with your step-mom? Maybe some STEPmother and son bonding?"
Jin Woo sighed. "Fuck my life."
[Heaven's Wrath: I appreciate the gesture. I'm Currently focused on rebuilding Heaven and establishing peace with other pantheons. I'll be busy but I'll keep in touch. I could see your concern.]
[The Fool: One question - does your system still work? Or did the transformation break it? And can you tell me about your path?]
[Heaven's Wrath: Still functional. Though it's now treating me as a potential threat. Secondary mission parameters include monitoring my stability and preventing corruption spread. As for the 23rd path, It's the path of Eternal Night that is illuminated by the stars, to guide the lost and weary, yet acknowledging that the end is inevitable.]
[The Fool: Thank you. We have an Evernight goddess in this world. Maybe she will know more.]
[Heaven's Wrath: I strongly suggest not to. She is aware of me. And her curiosity is rather... uncomfortable.]
[Last Master of Humanity: Your own system is monitoring you for corruption? That's... that's actually really concerning. Are you going to become an eldritch horror and kill everyone just by existing?]
[Heaven's Wrath: Logical precaution. I've become the type of entity it was designed to combat. Monitoring is appropriate. But to answer your question, No. I can compress and control myself by using my previous form. I also placed a lot of seals to suppress it.]
[Advocate of Gender Equality: This whole situation is insane. You won the war, saved Heaven, and the price was basically your humanity.]
[Heaven's Wrath: I was never human. I'm an angel.]
[Flash Goddess: You know what he means!]
[Heaven's Wrath: Yes. And he's essentially correct. The part of me that connected with others emotionally is gone. What remains is efficient but empty. But I still feel that you should be...helped?]
[Girl Who Loves Reading: Will you at least try to recover Kokabiel san? Even if it takes centuries? You are the strongest and wisest among us, but what we all loved about you being so carefree and kind. You helped us just being there.]
[Heaven's Wrath: Yes. After Heaven is stable, and the pantheons accept the new order. When Michael can manage without my assistance, then I'll attempt recovery. Allthough not sure it will work.]
[Shadow Monarch: Good. We'll be here when you're ready. All of us. Just be honest man, that's all we ask.]
[Heaven's Wrath: Acknowledged. Thank you for the concern. I recognize intellectually that it matters even if I can't feel appropriate gratitude.]
[Advocate of Gender Equality: ..... This Guy!]
[Flash Goddess: Maybe you can travel to my world and I ccan show you a good time. ]
[Last Pillar of Humanity: Youruichi-san! stop flirting with Kokabiel san. He is an angel!]
[The Fool: Come to think of it, he isn't one, not anymore. So he can't fall technically. But being devoid of emotions, he can't feel love or attraction.]
[Shadow monarch: Great! the one angel that gets a sex pass, isn't interested in doing it! And meanwhile I get...nevermind.]
I closed the chat before they could respond more to that.
The concern was genuine. I could recognize that.
But I couldn't feel the appropriate emotional response to being cared about. Couldn't feel grateful or touched or connected.
Just cold acknowledgment that having allies was strategically beneficial.
This was going to be a long couple centuries.
*****
The idea is for the readers to grow alongside the mc, understand more about what makes humans human. I'm trying to make you guys truly feel what he feel or the lack of feelings , then gradually growing into a more complete version.
Sometimes he will make you laugh due his mistakes, sometimes make you angry by being a jerk, sometimes just sad at his contradictions and turmoils. Blessed and cursed with powers he shouldn't have.
And it will make you eager to see when he actually finds himself, and some modicum of happiness.
It's the opposite of DxD anime or fanfics that's for sure lol
Each of these chapters are 2 chapters merged as one , but it seems people prefer numbers rather than content, so I'll start to break them into 2 from now.