Nathan stood in the doorway, unsure of what to do. The image of the basement room and Alexander's bodyguards still lingered in his mind. That man… was dangerous.
Although he didn't want to admit it, he couldn't ignore the fact that he shared DNA with that man.
Alexander stood in the middle of the room. He was still wearing a navi sweater under a long black jacket. It seemed like he had just come back from somewhere.
Alexander looked at Nathan in the doorway and smiled. "I came and saw your door open. Can we talk?"
Nathan stayed silent, his body still trembling slightly from what he had seen underground earlier. Alexander's words and behavior right now were very different from the mafia image in his head. The man was so friendly and gentle. It made the scene underground feel like nothing more than a dream.
Nathan glanced at the sandwich and cookies he had placed on the table. His eyes widened; he didn't want anyone to see him hoarding food.
He hurried past Alexander with the food and put it in the refrigerator. He looked away as he closed the door, avoiding Alexander's eyes.
"Can you leave? I want to sleep," Nathan said.
Alexander checked his watch. It was almost midnight.
"I won't be long. I heard what happened to you and Nael—"
Hearing that, Nathan immediately became irritated. He quickly cut him off. "Ah, you're right."
Alexander frowned at his brother's response. He watched as Nathan walked to the bed and grabbed something from the nightstand.
His cell phone.
Nathan grabbed it and walked quickly toward Alexander. "Here, give this to him. I don't need it. He needs it more after I threw his phone," Nathan said, holding back his anger and disappointment.
Alexander stared at the phone in Nathan's hand. "That's yours."
"Not anymore. I don't want anything from you."
Alexander looked closely at Nathan. The boy seemed calm, but his eyes showed deep disappointment. He realized Nathan was used to holding everything in.
He saw someone mature beyond his age.
Alexander grabbed Nathan's hand, surprising him and making him drop the phone. Alexander quickly caught it.
Nathan tried to pull his hand away, and Alexander tightened his grip. "Are you angry because Nael got the same phone?"
Nathan yanked his hand again. Alexander's words made his anger rise, but he didn't want to talk about it. Every explanation in his head sounded selfish.
"Nathan, tell me. Are you angry because I gave him a phone?" Alexander asked, making him even more uncomfortable.
"Whatever! I don't care what you give him!"
"No, tell me. Why did you lock yourself in your room today? I heard you didn't leave at all. Just because I gave him a phone?"
Nathan glared at him. Just?
"You know what, I don't care! He has everything I never had. Even he gets what I get because you negotiate with me, so easily. So… I don't know… I try not to care, but it annoys me." Nathan felt his voice shake. His chest was full of anger ready to explode.
Alexander looked at Nathan for a long moment before letting go of his hand.
Nathan gasped, not expecting Alexander to give up that easily. He was sure the man would be angry at him for being ungrateful. But who cared?
He watched carefully as Alexander removed his jacket, leaving a navy sweater that fit him well. Nathan's mind immediately panicked. Was he going to beat him up? Drag him to the basement?
Nathan swallowed hard and took a small step back without realizing it.
Alexander noticed and was slightly startled. He watched his younger brother's guarded expression. Was Nathan afraid of him?
"No, come here, Nathan," Alexander said softly. When Nathan didn't move, he stepped closer.
He saw how alert Nathan looked. He sighed. As the oldest son raised directly by Antonio Salazar—his iron-fisted grandfather—he was used to controlling everything. He had plenty of experience dealing with his younger siblings' misbehavior.
But now he realized Nathan was different. He couldn't treat him the same way. That would only push him further away.
And every time he looked at Nathan, memories from seventeen years ago came back and made his chest tighten. Guilt and anger at himself. He had wanted to hold that baby, to protect him.
But he couldn't.
That baby now stood in front of him, grown up, but his feelings hadn't changed. He would give anything to make up for that guilt. The strong desire to protect him never left.
Nathan stood frozen, staring at Alexander, who stared back without blinking. But it wasn't the gaze of an enemy or anger. That look made Nathan feel something strange in his chest.
Before he could understand it, Nathan let out a surprised sound. Unexpectedly, the man walked forward and hugged him.
It happened so fast that Nathan's mind couldn't catch up. Alexander's behavior was completely unpredictable.
"Ah! W-what are you doing?!" Nathan shouted, feeling Alexander's strong body wrap tightly around him.
What was wrong with this man? Was he planning something? Nathan shivered at the thought and tried to pull away.
"Let me go!"
Alexander held him tight, burying his face in Nathan's hair. The words of regret that always haunted him pushed him to let go of his pride.
"I'm sorry, Nathan… I'm really sorry…"
Nathan stayed still, his heart pounding, his feelings all mixed up. Alexander's voice was so low and desperate.
He tried to struggle, but his brother's arms were too strong.
"I beg you, don't push us away," Alexander said as he finally let go.
Nathan breathed heavily and stepped back right away.
"When you were suffering in the orphanage, I was also suffering. Every night, I wished I could take your place… You don't know how many nights I had nightmares."
Nathan was speechless. He had been ready to be angry.
But Alexander continued, "I know you suffered… But please, give me a chance to make it up to you."
Alexander looked at him with full tenderness.
Nathan shook his head. "You can't make it up to me. I can't go back to being a baby, to the childhood I should have enjoyed. No, you can't replace those times," he said, trying to hold back his anger.
"You, all of you, including Nael, had a good life. You never lacked anything. My only good memories are of us sitting around the fireplace, watching Lara sew our clothes and tell stories about children with big dreams. We're not the same. If you say you want to replace the childhood I should have had, instead of fighting for food, you'll never be able to," Nathan said. His anger peaked, and he didn't even notice the tears in his eyes.
Alexander felt the pain in his brother's voice, and his chest tightened. He took a deep breath.
Nathan continued, "When I thought I finally had something that kid didn't have, I was wrong."
Alexander sighed. "It's not like that, Nathan."
Nathan shook his head. "I don't need anything from you. I'll leave after six months like we agreed, so you don't need to do anything for me."
~Silence~
Alexander finally nodded. He knew there was nothing more he could say right now. He walked to the bed and placed Nathan's phone there.
"I can't take back what I gave Nael. But I'll give you everything we ever gave him until you don't feel jealous anymore. But for that, don't push us away."
Nathan grabbed the phone and pushed it toward him. "Give it to that kid. I don't need it!"
Alexander looked helpless. Nathan was really stubborn.
"You need it. Who can live without a phone nowadays?"
"I can. I don't need it!"
"Nathan, please. Take it back."
"I don't want to have the same things that kid has!" Nathan said, breathing hard. "If you leave it here, I'll throw it off the balcony."
Alexander took a deep breath. This was the first time he truly held himself back. He had to be careful now. One wrong move could push Nathan even further away.
But he had completely lost control when Nathan locked himself in his room for two days. He hadn't come out at all.