Lean's POV
Yeah, he's curious about monsters, and obviously, I must tell him! "Ah, okay! Where to start!" I clapped my hands with a dramatic flourish. "Alright, vampires! We are the sassiest of all monsters." I gave him a slow, exaggerated eyelash flutter and wink. His face? Adorable. Like, genuinely confused and mildly horrified. Success.
"So we're one of the ancient monster species—directly descended from Satan himself, alongside Giants, Sirens, and our blood enemies: Werewolves."
He shrieked at that word. Shrieked. Why though? Maybe he's got favorites. Hmm.
"Yeah, we're quite elegant, high-class, and definitely the cleverest among the monsters."
He choked. He literally choked. "Hey, not cool, dude!" I smacked his arm lightly. "I might be a bit dull, sure, but that doesn't define my whole race!"
He rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, continue."
"So. Powers! We've got a bunch. Super speed, animal transformation, mind reading, mind control, and we can talk to pretty much any animal. Oh, and we're ridiculously strong." I flexed—just a little. "But a mature vampire is like, fifty years old. I'm only twenty, so I'm still a baby vampire. Yaya! Pretty little baby, yaya"
He raised a brow. "Twenty? You are fucking grown up!!!"
I just ignored as he is freaking out "Exactly. I can only turn into a bat for now—basic vampire stuff. And I can't do mind control yet."
He smirked, "Guess you need a mind first to control others."
"Puppers! You're mean!" I flailed dramatically. "You take that back, you oversized grump muffin."
He snorted. "Fine. Such a baby. Can't even take a joke."
"Anyway," I cleared my throat. "Talking to animals—I'm still learning. I can only really talk to little critters for now. Squirrels, bugs, some tiny birds."
He muttered something and giggled.
HE GIGGLED.
Oh my Devils. The Grump King giggles. Did I just achieve this first? Do I get an award? A medal? A Guinness World Record entry? "Vampire makes hot Grumplestiltskin giggle." Oops, he must not no my achievement. Ignore that.
But then I noticed… something. HIM. Like, really noticed. Oh, fuck.
I don't curse, but damn I have to.
He's sweaty, and that black tank top is doing dangerous things. His biceps are practically bulging—it looks like a movie scene. I could just imagine resting my head there. His sun-tanned skin looks so smooth, like warm honey wrapped in gold. Plastic perfection. A literal walking thirst trap.
Stop it, Lean! You're unholy. A literal monster. But hey—I am unholy, so this is technically legal thinking.
My mouth watered. I was completely lost in my thoughts when suddenly—
PAIN. Something yanked my ear and screamed in it.
"VAMPY!!! ARE YOU COOL?? ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE?? OH FUCKING GOD, WHAT SHOULD I DO?? CAN I DO CPR ON VAMPIRES?? IS THERE A MONSTER 911??"
I snapped back to reality like a rubber band. "Wait, wait! I'm fine! Not dead! I mean, I am dead—but not in that way!"
He was huffing for air and looking half ready to punch me or pass out. And still pulling my ear.
"YOU FUCKING DAMNED BASTARD!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MESSED UP I GOT? YOU PARASITE!!"
Yeah, he's cursing like hell. But I can feel it. He's scared. Like, really scared. It's kinda… hot.
---
Dominic's POV
He finally started. Took him a century.
Sassiest monster? What does that even mean? Like vampires wear pink and glitter? Confusing. No doubt he's Satan's child. I mean, who else blows up a whole kitchen trying to boil pasta?
He winked. My skin curled. What even was that? A seductive blink? Weirdly cute, though.
Werewolves are ancient? Cool cool cool—let's not mention I am one. And blood enemies? I guess Mr. Sassy Vampy, you are hitting on your blood enemy, might get a blood sugar, hehe, wait! That was good! A daddy joke but still worth it.
And clever? Please. The guy just yesterday tripped over his own drool. Though… he was a top student in computer science. Damn. I should make him help me with math.
Seriously—why the hell does an arts student need to study math for two semesters?! Why do I care where y's x is? I'm not a relationship counselor. Who the hell eats 100,000 apples and divides them by pi?! These problems scare even Satan. Honestly, Lean doing my math homework is the least he can do, living in my house rent-free, and slowly turning me insane.
Yeah, twenty years old and still can't shapeshift into anything cooler than a bat. Imagine waking up to a T-Rex or glittery unicorn in your bedroom.
Ouch! He nudged me! Even the school thugs don't do that! But okay… maybe I deserved it. I am a dick I know!
And then… the pout. Dude pouts like a damn pouty Pokémon. Poutyter: pout + monster.
"Yup sure, you're a damn oversized blonde leech," I muttered but he can't catch that, giggling.
Wait—I giggled?
He's corrupting me. My tough dude sigma men demeanor.
Should I eat him? Nah. Too much hassle. He'd scream my ears off.
Still… he's kinda making my boring life sparkle with chaos. Like emotional glitter bombs.
But then—hold up.
He started drooling. His eyes locked on me like a predator. I swear his jaw was about to fall off. What's happening?? Is he broken? Is he having a vampire heart attack?! What his heart don't beat how can he have an heart attack! VAMPIRE EXE. CRASHED!!
I panicked. Slap him? No. Abuse. I'm not that guy. CPR?? Will that work?? EAR YANKING. YUP BEST ONE!
VAMPY!!! YOU COOL? YOU HAVEING SEIZURE! OH FUCKING GOD WHAT SHOULD I DO!! CAN I DO CPR ON VAMPIRES!! IS THERE ANY MONSTER 911!
Then this bastard LAUGHS like it's the funniest thing in the world.
I was having a stroke over here!
"You FUCKING DAMNED BASTARD!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKED UP I GOT?! YOU PARASITE!!"
---
Lean's POV (Quick Bonus Snap)
I think he's still mad. His jaw's all tight and stuff. But he's cute and hot when he's mad like an emotional himbo. Really cute. Like if a golden retriever listened to death metal.
I might've scared him, sure. But I also made him laugh and care in the span of 30 minutes.
Yep. This is progress.
Time to log that too.
"Lean the Vampire—Master of Chaos and Giggle Summoner of the kings of Grumps."
I'll take my crown now, thanks.
Dominic's POV
Anyway, I let his ears go. My blood pressure is probably illegal right now. I feel drained. I need to pass out—preferably without more chaos. I stand up, stretch, and then—
He grabs my arm.
Like, full-on wraps around it like a clingy squirrel latched onto a tree branch. "What now? You done being dramatic? I'm tired, dude, I need sleep."
He doesn't say anything right away—just stares. Bambi eyes activated. Sparkling. Emotional. He's summoning his full Disney Princess powers and I am not falling for it.
"No. Not happening," I say, dead serious. "You got the couch and pillows. There's no way I'm letting you in my bed."
"But Puppers…"
"No!" I snap. He lets my arm go with a sigh and turns his back on me, burrito-wrapping himself in the blanket like a rejected coconut. Great. Now I feel like a total jerk. I mean, he's a vampire—they're supposed to sleep in coffins or hang upside-down in caves, right? But now he looks like a kicked puppy.
Ugh. Fine.
"We're going shopping tomorrow, okay?" I mutter like a dad who just grounded his kid. "You can hate me for tonight, but I'll fix it.", yup mom's gonna kill me cause of spending money but yeah anyways!!
I take a step toward my room, but guilt's gnawing at me.
"Hey… dude, I'm sorry, okay? I'm just not comfortable sharing a bed with someone or having a bed buddy. I need space. But… goodnight?"
He turns over slowly, eyes wide and glassy like a sad anime character. "Goodnight kiss," he says, totally dead serious.
"What? No! No way in hell I'm doing that to a twenty-year-old Batman!"
His eyes start watering.
No. Nope. I can't do another round of tantrums and meltdowns tonight.
"NO! Don't you dare—fine! You win! I'll give you the damn kiss!" I groan. I'm a defenseless wolf! This is emotional blackmail! And threat to my sweet sleep!
I crouch beside the couch, right in front of his ridiculously pleased face. He looks like a smug little marshmallow who just won a war. Gross. I'm gonna need bleach for my soul and lips.
I lean in hesitantly, already regretting life. His cold skin brushes my lips—feels like kissing a freezer. But he smells like cinnamon rolls. Actual bakery-grade cinnamon rolls, fuck it's intoxicating! I cup his soft, weirdly plush face, squeeze my eyes shut as i don't want to see his stupid face while doing it, and press my lips to his forehead.
Fuck he is soft! Mhmmm! Not that bad I guess, I am not gonna need a lip care now!
But why it's It's… soft?
And weirdly… nice?
Shit.
My heart skips. Nope. I know this feeling. Not happening. Not with a guy. Not with this guy. Not with any guy!
I yank myself back and jog straight to my room like a man escaping a crime scene, slamming the door shut. Behind it, I can hear him giggling like a gremlin on sugar.
"Goodnight, Puppers!" he calls sweetly.
I throw myself onto the bed like I just ran a marathon. I can't sleep now. All I can think about is him. That vampire.
I'm so doomed.
I hate you Vampy!
(Anyways guys I passed out after an hour of overthinks, and what I was thinking? Give me some damn million dollars and I will spill it)
---
Lean's POV
Okay, so… I may have used the sad eyes. I didn't want to weaponize them, but I needed that forehead kiss like a raccoon needs shiny things. Momma gave me kisses every night and tucked me in my blue and pink coffin, it worked. He folded faster than origami in a storm.
And when he kissed me?
Okay. So my heart's been dead since birth. But if it could beat, it would be doing cartwheels.
His hand was warm. Strong. His touch? Gentle. His lips? Like… soft thunderstorms and panic-flavored candy.
I could feel his embarrassment pouring off him like cologne made of awkward boy sweat. Delicious.
When he bolted off to his room like a startled deer? I nearly burst laughing. But I held it in—barely. I didn't want to ruin the moment.
Still. He kissed me.
Me.
On the forehead.
Voluntarily.
Kinda.
Whatever.
I'm counting it.
And the best part? He smells like cedarwood and danger and the very idea of trouble. I may be the undead, but I just felt more alive than I've ever been.
I hugged the blanket tighter and whispered into the darkness:
"Goodnight, Puppers."
He didn't answer.
But I bet he's thinking about me.
(He totally is.)