It swells in my mind. Over and over again.
The fear of losing my potential. Of not being what I should be. It's driving me insane
I want to end it all.
But I keep myself under control
-Liam
Inside the private jet, the cabin shook under the speed of the engine. Siegfreed laid flat on the stretcher, their chest rising weakly.
Liam sat beside them, still.
The pilot(Nulln) glanced back, disbelief in his voice.
"What army could've done this to the two of you?"
Siegfreed let out a dry laugh, his voice hoarse.
"It wasn't an army," he said. "It was one person."
The pilot blinked, confused.
"One person? That's impossible. Both of you?"
"Yeah," Siegfreed muttered. "Both of us."
The pilot's voice cracked.
"Did you at least get him?"
Siegfreed exhaled slowly, wincing as pain shot through his chest.
They choked, paused as held their hand to his mouth, swallowing their bloody vomit.
Ughh they wheezed "He got away. Words can't describe it. I've never seen anything like that in my entire life. It wasn't just combat—it was a dance."
Siegfreed coughed, gripping their ribs.
"He singlehandedly fought off the entire Locus swarm with just a bag of weapons. When I saw that, I knew there was no point fighting. I used what little strength I had left to call in my birds for an extraction for me and Liam."
"I even tried to get Elite Guard Rank 8's body. But "Two" defended him, killing my birds mid-flight. Clean. Efficient."
Liam stayed silent, eyes distant.
Nulln swallowed hard. "So what now? You think he's coming here? For us?"
.....
Nulln tried to lighten the tension.
"Well… don't beat yourself up too bad. You guys succeeded with destroying Elite Gaurd Rank 8"
Siegfreed didn't respond. He simply turned his head toward the pilot, his tone darkening. "Liam got hurt. Mr. N is not going to hear the end of it from me."
Liam mumbled that he's fine. His arm still disconnected from his body. Sitting beside him casually on the plane seat.
Siegfreed breaks down in tears hugging Liam squeezing him hard "I Was SO SCARED. IM SORRY YOU GOT HURT. I tried my best. All the years you weren't with me, every single day I trained. I meditated, I learned, I read every book, so I could protect you.
The same way you protected me when I was younger. The same way you saved me. The same way you gave me my weapon. The same way you made me feel useful. And I fail--
Liam's eyes distant, dead, dissapointed. "You didn't fail. I did."
"Im weak."
Im no human weapon.
I'm washed.
All those years depressed.
All those years locked away in that cell.
I lost my potential.
I'm not as strong as I should be.
My trauma has ruined me.
"I want to die."
Moving away from the plane we enter a mysterious building.
Hearing the sounds of hospital equipment we see someone hooked up to a machine.
Oxygen pumping into their lungs.
Blood being pumped into their veins.
We see a maimed man writing.
Broken. Damaged. Hurt.
Deep in a room we have never seen before.
Hands trembling he puts his hand to the paper.
To be a Conquerer.
~Mr. N's Journal Page 4549
The Earth Is Mine to Conquer.
Your arrows have pierced me and your hand has come down on me.
Because of your wrath there is no health in my body.
There is no soundness in my bones because of my sin.
My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.
Everyday I send hundreds to their death and I have the audacity to come back to you to speak about it.
I have long lost my ability for empathy.
But one man activated that nerve in my brain and now I cannot function.
If I return to viewing humans as human. I will lose my ability to dream. And If I lose my ability to dream.
The man raises his hand to his chest shivering.
"I will lose my ability to live."
And "I will die."
I have long lost my mind.
I am an abomination.
A baphomet.
And yet you allow me to continue my dream.
Why have you not casted me out of your kingdom?
I have defiled your image with my very existence. Why do you keep me alive.
Those who want to kill me set their traps.
Those who would harm me speak of my ruin.
And all day long they scheme and lie.
I have become like one who does not hear, whose mouth can offer no reply.
"So I wont offer anything else."
"I'll give it all I have."
Because if guilt is a killer.
I will never die.