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Chapter 17 - Chapter 17: What a Complete and Total Moron

The fights were over. The street was quiet, except for the groans of defeated pirates.

Zoro walked out of the alley, sheathing his swords. Alvida, panting heavily and sweating walked out of the ruined post office. Nami, breathing hard, had just knocked out the last pirate.

They all walked up to their captain.

Luffy stood over Buggy's tied-up body parts. His crew, finished with their own battles, gathered behind him. Buggy's head, which had a huge, purple bump on the side, was floating a few feet away, its eyes wide with pure terror.

"What... what are you going to do with me?" the head whimpered.

Nami, though tired, wasn't looking at Buggy. Her eyes were sparkling as she stared at the mountain of rubble that was once the bar. The Treasure is somewhere there... she thought. Zoro leaned against a wall, but he wasn't looking at the treasure. He was staring off into the distance, his gaze sharp and unreadable.

__________

(Some time before...)

Far from the main fight, in the dusty, ruined attic of a furniture store, a dozen pairs of eyes peeked through a single broken window. They were the hidden villagers, and they were terrified.

"My god... look at that swordsman," one man whispered, his voice trembling. "He's... he's not even trying."

"And that woman!" another hissed, watching Alvida. "Did she just hit that lion through a building? They're monsters! They're just as bad as Buggy!"

"Quiet!" the tall, flattop man (the unofficial leader) growled. "They'll hear us!"

Just then, his breath hitched. "Wait... down there. By the main street... Oh, no."

"What is it?"

"It's Boodle! It's the Mayor! And Shushu!"

They all squinted. Sure enough, not far from where the kid in the straw hat was facing the clown, they could see Boodle and the dog lying in the rubble, not moving.

"They got hit in the crossfire!" the flattop man said, his voice thick with a new, sudden anger. "Those bastards... they don't care about anyone! They're just animals!"

The villagers wanted to run, to help. But they were terrified.

And then, from the main fight, they heard it.

It wasn't the sound of a cannon. It wasn't the sound of a sword.

It was a high-pitched, inhuman, agonized scream.

"GYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

It was Buggy's voice.

Every single man in the attic instantly winced. They instinctively crossed their legs. They covered their own groins. They knew that sound. It was a sound beyond fighting.

The women covered their mouths, their eyes wide with a different kind of horror.

"My... my god," one man stammered, his voice an octave higher. "What... what was that?"

"Did you see?" another whispered, his face pale. "The straw hat kid... I think he kicked him... there!"

"He's a savage! What kind of monster does that?! That's... that's just wrong!"

The flattop man's face was white as a sheet. He was now more scared than ever. "That... that isn't a fight. That is torture."

He looked at the others, his eyes wild. "We have to get the Mayor. Now."

"Are you crazy?!" another villager hissed. "We'll be killed!"

"Don't you get it?" the flattop man shot back. "If that's what these new guys do to their own kind, what do you think they'll do to Boodle when they find him? He's a witness! He won't survive that!"

He was right. The fear of what might happen was now worse than the fear of acting. The man grabbed a pitchfork.

"We have to rescue him. Now."

All the villagers nodded, their faces grim. Four men grabbed whatever weapons they had and got ready.

__________

(Back in the present)

Luffy, Nami, and Alvida were all focused on the captured clown and the treasure. In that moment, only Zoro saw it. He watched from the corner of his eye as the four villagers ran from their hiding spot. They kept low, using the smoke and rubble as cover. They grabbed Mayor Boodle, picked up the dog, and ran back into the hidden streets. Zoro watched them go. He didn't say a word.

Luffy crouched down to look Buggy's floating head right in the eyes. He had a cold, calm smile.

"Well, Buggy," he said. "We beat your officers. We beat your crew. And we're taking all your treasure."

He pointed a thumb at Buggy's tied-up body.

"This only leaves you."

Buggy's face turned even more pale.

Luffy continued, "I have two options. Option one: I can kill you. I can just take your head... and your tied-up body... and throw them both into the sea. Separately."

This made Buggy panic. "NO! WAIT! SURELY, WE CAN TALK THIS OUT!" his head shrieked. He was sweeting now as he talked "There are many ways in....."

Luffy just ignored him, as if he hadn't said a word.

"Or," Luffy said, "option two. You join my crew."

...WHAT?

Buggy was completely dumbfounded. Behind Luffy, his crew looked just as shocked.

"Captain!" Alvida said, out of breath. "You... you're joking, right? You want this clown to join us?"

Luffy just gave her a look. A cold, quiet side-glance. Alvida immediately shut her mouth.

Now out of danger, Buggy, being Buggy, started to have some very ugly, stupid thoughts.

Heh... heh heh. This kid is an idiot! He wants me to join? Buggy thought, his brain working fast. Sure! I'll join! He'll untie my body, I'll be his "friend"... and the moment he lets his guard down... the second he turns his back... I'LL STAB HIM! I'll kill him, I'll kill all of them! I'll get my honor back, and all this treasure will be mine again! Gyagyagya!

Thinking about this "brilliant" plan, the idiot Buggy started to smile. A big, dumb, greedy smile.

Everyone saw it.

Nami just smiled warmly and slowly shook her head. 'What a complete and total moron.'

Alvida let out an evil, rumbling chuckle.

Zoro in deep thoughts, was not aware of anything .

"OK!" Buggy shouted with his fake, happy smile. "I'll join you! It's a deal! Now, can you release me?"

Luffy's cold smile came back. He didn't move. He just willed it.

A golden scroll appeared in the air, right in front of Buggy's floating face.

"SUBORDINATE CONTRACT," Luffy said. "Sign it."

Buggy's smile vanished. "Huh? What... What's this? What'd you do?!"

"Read it if you like," Luffy said, his voice flat. "But you have two minutes to sign it. Otherwise, I will assume you don't want to join my crew. And I'll go with option one."

"HEY!" Buggy yelled, his head floating back a few inches. "AT LEAST TELL ME HOW IT APPEARED! Is this a trick? One of your flashy Devil Fruit powers?!"

Luffy was quiet. He just stared.

Alvida, however, was staring at Buggy with that same ugly, knowing smirk. Nami walked up and tried to read the scroll over Buggy's shoulder, but she couldn't. All she saw was a bunch of golden, unreadable scribbles.

Buggy, grumbling and scared, floated closer to the scroll. "Fine, fine, I'll read this stupid... what does it say... 'Article 1: The Subordinate will... obey. Article 2: Betrayal... punished... Article 3: The Subordinate must show proper respect to the Captain and his... his...' what? '...and his hat?'"

Buggy's head floated back. "HIS HAT? GYAGYAGYA! What kind of joke is this? Who cares about a stupid straw hat! That red-haired bastard Shanks had one just like it, and he was a ..."

WHACK!

Luffy, without even looking, had stretched his hand and smacked Buggy's floating head hard. Buggy's head spun around three times, his eyes rolling. "Gyaaa!"

"I... I'll sign!" he whimpered, now dizzy and terrified, a new bump forming next to the first one. "I'll sign! I won't read anymore! How do I sign?"

"Just will it," Luffy said.

Buggy, his head throbbing, looked at the scroll and willed it with all his might. The scroll glowed... and vanished.

Buggy the Clown was now one of the Straw Hats.

__________

Luffy's "business" was done. He stood up,

"Alright," he said, turning to his crew. "Nami, Alvida."

The two women looked at him.

"Take Buggy's head," he said, pointing to the floating, whimpering clown. "Go to the bar wreckage. He knows where his strongroom is. Start digging. Get the treasure and the map."

Nami's eyes lit up. "With pleasure, Captain!"

"TREASURE?!" Buggy's head shrieked. "Hey?! That's my treasure! Don't you dare....."

"Just go," Luffy ordered.

Alvida, with a cruel grin, grabbed Buggy's pigtail. "Let's go, partner."

"Gyaaa! Not the hair! Not the hair!"

Luffy watched them go—Nami skipping, Alvida dragging the screaming clown head—and then his cold face relaxed, just a little. He stood up and turned, his eyes scanning the rubble where the old man and the dog had been.

His brow furrowed. "The dog."

He looked around. The street was empty. The man and dog were gone.

He saw Zoro leaning against a far wall, staring off into the distance, completely unfocused and lost in thought.

Luffy walked over to him. "Zoro. Have you seen the dog?"

Zoro didn't answer. He was still staring, thinking.

Luffy waited a beat. His voice became flat, a quiet command. "Zoro."

This time, Zoro finally turned. He looked at Luffy. His face was hard to read.

"They're gone."

Luffy's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"The villagers," Zoro said, his voice low. "A group of them ran out while you were... 'negotiating'... with the clown. They took the old man and the dog. They're safe."

Luffy and Zoro just stared at each other for a long, quiet moment.

"You saw them," Luffy said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah."

"And you didn't stop them."

"Not my business," Zoro grunted, and looked away.

Zoro leaned back against the wall. He had been thinking this whole time.

He saw those villagers run out. He could have stopped them. He could have told Luffy.

But he'd also seen the captain's face when he first saw that dog. It was a cold, hard anger. Zoro had to know why.

Was Luffy angry because the dog was hurt? Or was he just angry because something he wanted was hurt?

He had to see what his new captain would do. It was a test.

Zoro had been worried. He knew Luffy was a great captain, but he wasn't sure if he was a good person.

But now, he saw Luffy just nod. Luffy turned away from where the villagers had gone, and looked back at the digging.

He let it go.

Zoro let out a small breath he didn't even know he was holding.

Good.

His captain was a cold, ruthless bastard, for sure. But maybe... just maybe... he was a good man, too.

Zoro decided he'd still have to watch him. Just in case.

"Zoro"

___________

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