32 Sorted.
Hagrid called all the first years to him and guided us to the boats, the path was very slippery, yeah, Malfoy lost his footing and fell in the lake, Weasley was laughing out loud until he took a dive too, Daphne or Tracey's work I guess.
Harry took his girls in a boat and called Neville in, he made friends with Neville thanks to Sirius. Hermione and I were sharing a boat with a set of twins, the Patils, "Hello, I am Hermione Granger and this mean-looking boy is Dudley Dursley, don't worry though, he is a sweet boy once you get to know him better."
I protested: "Hermione! Don't you dare to ruin my bad reputation! Misses twin girls, do not believe her, she is a lion tamer and doesn't know the difference between sweet and mean. Let me know if someone is bullying you… or tell Hermione if I am the bully, she will set me straight."
Parvati giggled: "Oh, I am sure Hermione will be busy setting you straight, what do you think, Padma?"
Padma shrugged: "He will behave, I can tell."
The Castle came into view, a lot of oohs and aahs sounded from the kids, not me though, I had seen the bloody thing enough already. We docked at the castle and got out of the boats, as a gentleman I helped the girls, see? I guess I'm sweet after all. The ferret and the weasel were soaked, staring daggers at anyone who dared to laugh.
When McGonagall went away and the discussion went on how we get sorted I loudly said: "I heard of a secret method from Lord Black. He said you have to sing a song in your head, if it is a brave song you go to Griffindor, a complicated song is for Ravenclaw, a song for trickery is for Slytherin, and a song about loyal friends is for Hufflepuff."
Weasley said: "Fred and George said we have to fight a Troll!"
I laughed: "You be dead if you have to fight one mate, they are almost double the size of that man that showed us to the boats. I tell you, they probably don't want you in their house. I am told it even gives you a hint by singing a song first."
Xxxxx
We went inside the great hall, Hermione was nervous, she held my hand in a death grip. We knew what was going to happen, Sirius spilled the beans under our pressure and Compulsion Charms, we all agreed to go in the House Tracey gets sorted in, everyone looked at me when the Hat started to sing, bravery for the Lions, smartypants for the ravens, and cunning for the snakes, Helga is loyal and takes the rest.
Hannah Abbot was first, I saw her lips silently move in tune with the song in her head, a minute later, HUFFLEPUFF! Hannah stood up and nodded at Susan, the trend was set, Abbot confirmed it, the song works! Sorting took longer though, the Hat must be enjoying the songs because he took his time for each one to finish. Susan sang a loyal song and got in Hufflepuff too.
Tracey's turn came up, after a mental discussion the Hat called: RAVENCLAW! When it was my turn the Hat said: "Thank you for the serenades young man… What in Morgana's saggy tits is this all about?" WTF? Did that shitty Hat shout that out loud?
The Hat growled in my mind: "Fifth Layer? A Game? I am a prop in a book? I spent centuries on a shelf to end up as a comedy prop in a children's book?"
I protested and thought: "Hey! I enjoyed those books as an adult too you know, now you know why we need to be together, or do you want Death Eaters to rule this school? So Ravenclaw for Hermione, Daphne, Harry, and me please."
After two minutes of silence, Hatty has a lot of memories to go through, in the end, he agrees: "Have it your way, traveler, entertain your ROB. For your information, these worlds you were in, they are real, you are just a visitor here. Keep that in mind for your plans. RAVENCLAW!"
When I sat down next to Tracey, a curious upper year asked why the Hat yelled. I shrugged: "I said that Morgana was a babe with perky tits, he disagreed, it is not my fault he saw them when she was seventy years old."
Tracey just rolled her eyes and watched the sorting, soon Daphne, Hermione, and Harry joined the Ravens or was it Eagles? Confusing, I know.
Canon followed its course, YataYata, forbidden forest, YataYata third floor for certain death. The food was good though, I have to crank up my workout session to compensate. The pumpkin juice still tastes like pumpkin. The claws saw that we were friendly with the Potter family and asked if we knew each other.
Hermione held her hand before my mouth and said: "He is Harry's cousin from his mother's side. Be nice Dudley. Sorry, he has a strange sense of humor."
Yeah, I insult people I don't like. Smashing Zombies makes you numb and the urge to smash idiots' heads gets stronger each day.
Xxxxx
The doorknob had a good one: "What is the secret to the universe?"
I answered: "Nobody knows, if one person knows the secret then it isn't a secret anymore."
"Well reasoned." and the door opened. I received a lot of respect for that answer, to tell the truth, any answer would be the correct one, that doorknob doesn't know that secret either.
I bunked with Harry in a double room, I grinned at him: "Well, we are here for seven years or do we speed it up?"
Harry shook his head: "No, Cyrus said these years are the most important to create connections with other houses, Marcus and Sirius agreed, so we have to stay and mingle with the locals."
The bed was nice, the room a bit drafty, but with a few warming spells it is quite comfy. It was even big enough for our workout equipment. Although I am going to claim the RoR when Quirrel is a goner. I guess he didn't get the stone after all, maybe the goblins forced Dumbledore to get it out of Gringotts.
The next morning I witnessed my future life, when we came downstairs, three females looked at us, looked at each other, and dragged us back to our room. My mind went crazy. We are too young for that! And I am not for a group thing if there is another Dude involved! Even when he is my cousin!
In our room, the girls opened our trunk and took some clothes out. It turned out we didn't match! Somehow I was a bit disappointed, ten minutes later we were presentable and went down for breakfast.
When Flitwick handed us our schedules, he said: "Mr. Potter, the Headmaster wants to see you in his office after breakfast."
Harry sighed and gave me a Galleon, and so were Hermione and Tracey. I grinned: "I told you so! He is old and a politician first. Of course, he is a manipulator. How many times will he try before he gives up? Five times this week, any takers?"
Daphne sighed: "You made your point Dudley. Professor, can you give this letter to the Headmaster? It states that our Fiancee is not allowed to be in the same room without at least a whole classroom of witnesses. If he wants to have a meeting with our Fiancee, both Miss Davis and I have to be there and so do our parents, as the head of our house you need to be present too. That goes for Miss Granger and Mr. Dursley too, as they are under our House protection."
"Very well, Miss Greengrass, I will deliver the message. It is highly irregular, but if that are the wishes of your guardians, I will make it so." He took the letter and went to Dumbledore.
We watched the interaction, ah, he lost his twinkle, a frown, a deeper frown when he read the letter, a glare when he looked up at us, and a rapid change to his grandfatherly disappointed face and a shake of his head. We all saw the expressions, so I held my hand out and four sickles were put in it.
Harry grumbled: "That is the last time I make a bet with you Dud. What is our first class… Transfiguration with McGonagall and the Puffs."
Hmm? No comment from Hermione? No Professor McGonagall, Harry? I broke her? Nah, I trained her to see the bigger picture. That or killing zombies got to her numbed too.
Xxxxx
When we entered the classroom I nudged Daphne and pointed at the cat: "What can you tell me about that cat?"
Daphne studied the cat and went a bit closer: "This cat is not normal, the markings around the eyes are unusual, and I feel it has Magic, also, it doesn't behave or feel like a regular cat, my guess is that it is an Animagus, probably Professor McGonagall."
I grinned: "Ten points to the pretty Druid. Tell me, Daphne, how long will it take for us to be able to do this ourselves?"
Daphne frowned and answered: "Animagus training is hard and has some hard steps to complete, we better find another way."
McGonagall turned human and said: "You will do no such thing before you complete your OWLS, Miss Greengrass. Animagus training is a difficult branch of Magic and many things can and did go wrong in the past. I commend you that you noticed I was an animagus, but I urge you not to try it too soon."
As we suspected, classes were boring, you can only turn a matchstick into a needle that many times before you want to stick it into a Zombie's eyeball.
At McGonagall's inquiry, we said that we studied ahead… way ahead. The only interesting class was Potions, sadly enough. We never bothered to learn it, so it was all new material to us. I didn't want to spoil the surprise and didn't warn them about Snape.
Our housemates did; the unfair treatment, Slytherin favoritism, unfair house points, and bad teaching, you know, just Snape.
Snape was a surprise for me though, he left Harry alone, with no bad comments, no sneers until I noticed that he was focusing on the Mudbloods, Hermione, and me. We plan to endure it for a few weeks before we take action, our potions were perfectly done, a few test runs in our Empty Dungeon prepared us for the lesson, we could brew it blindfolded if we wanted to.
We did our homework in the common room and socialized a bit, then we went to our room to do our Muggle studies. Once the older student knew you could home-school that, they bashed their head on the table, and already some made plans to do the same, they made eyes when they heard we were at the fourth grade and planned to take the exams on Christmas break.
The respect for the Boy Who Lived went up a few nudges. Daphne and Tracey already felt the competition, there were a lot of girls that wanted to snatch him away and made no secret of it.
Hermione calmed them down: "Come on, Daphne, who can compare to you both? Not only are you as smart as Harry, but you are also powerful, we have the highest level of students here, and both you and Tracey are drop-dead gorgeous. Those other girls don't stand a chance."
I nodded: "Hermione has a point, Daphne, the word is out that we are homeschooling Secondary muggle education even doing four grades in one year, they are intimidated by us. Even the Ravenclaws. And Harry is smitten by you both, the only worry you should have is that he will be too clingy."
That is true, tell the wife you love her a few times a day, after a year she will roll her eyes and not even pay attention to you. You become one with the furniture until she notices you stop saying it and finds you doing her sister, doggy style. Her sister was a nice fuck though, kinky too. Good times.
We used History to study for our Secondary Education, memorizing the History textbook was done in one evening the only difficulty was keeping those Goblin names apart.
At Dinner I posted myself next to Tonks: "Tonks, how is life behind the barrels? It gets drafty in our place."
Tonks narrowed her eyes and said: "There is something suspicious about you. The kids told us it was your fault that the sorting took an hour longer than normal."
I held my hand up and asked: "Did it work? Was someone sorted where he didn't want to go? No? My method works, you may thank me… no the firsties have to thank me."
Xxxxx
Dada, we all saw the dark aura around Quirrell, there is no way that Dumbledore missed that. It is a simple spell to see auras, I bet it is engraved on his glasses. I even bet Voldie knows Dumbledore knows about him and sees it as a challenge.
His stutter is annoying, and the spells he is trying to teach are crap. We will endure him until Samhain, Harry will dust him, there are so many ways to get rid of him, but I let Harry do that, Prophesy and all that jazz you know, Canon must have its due.
That brings us to astronomy, I had a heated discussion with Sinistra about the use of the Stars in our Magic: "Come on, Professor, be realistic. The closest Star is 4.25 light years from Earth and one light year is about 6 Trillion miles, you know? AMillion is a 1 with six zeros, a Billion is a 1 with 9 zeros behind it, and a Trillion is a 1 with twelve zeros behind it, multiply it you come out to 25 and a half TRILLION Miles away, that is One Million times around the Earth to the closest Star, Professor. I can understand the influence of the planets, but the Stars? They are just pretty lights in the sky."
Sinistra was stubborn: "You can not deny the forces that keep this Galaxy together, Mr. Dursley. If there wasn't a force, the stars would have spread out eons ago, yet our galaxy is rotating around a center. I studied Muggle astronomy too Mr. Dursley, and I say that our Magic is affected by them."
I shook my head: "I deny that Professor, it affects us at most to the position of our planet to the center of our Galaxy."
Harry put a hand on my shoulder and said: "We will make certain he gets full marks, Professor. Dudley, I want to go to bed on time, a discussion in the middle of the night is not helping."
I complained: "I was winning, Harry! You can't take that away from me!"
Sinistra was petty, "No, Mr. Dursley, you can come to me to continue this discussion whenever you want."
Hmm? Did I get the right message here? Is this the Teacher-Student trope? Nah, that can't be, she knows I am only eleven. My eyes must have glazed over because Hermione slapped the back of my head… with force, it hurt like a bitch.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Dursley," she hissed and added a stinging hex to my butt.
Mean witch! Am I her property? I didn't sign a contract! Fuck! Lord Greengrass can! Did I sell my body to the devil? I just trained it to perfection! Sigh, I am doomed.
Xxxxx
We got into a routine, I got up at seven, did my part of my workout in the Empty Dungeon, got rid of my aggression in the Zombie Dungeon, and took a shower in the normal world, at seven-thirty I was ready to go. Breakfast, classes, lunch, and classes again, homework, dinner, and study in our common room, from eight to nine we went up to our room, and studied for an hour in the Empty Dungeon, after that we did a Zombie Dungeon, did a power nap in the Empty Dungeon for two hours and went to bed.
The days were booooring. We could do this stuff blindfolded, Wandless, and silent, we could teach these spells. Even teasing Tonks got old, that bitchy Metamorph teases me back with a vengeance.
A break in our routine is the flying lessons, those are always good for a laugh. However, when Tracey inspected those brooms, she declared half of them unsafe, some of them were even death traps. We know she has been studying brooms, as one of the two broom fanatics in our group she has been disabling old brooms at home to study the runes and spells. Her Magic Crafter specialization shows.
It was fun to watch the shouting match between Tracey and Hooch, it went as far as Tracey burning the five killer brooms with a wandless overpowered incendo and blaming it on accidental Magic.
Me? Brooms are for sweeping the floor, not that I am afraid of heights… much, but sitting on a stick a few hundred feet in the air is not my idea of fun. Harry is a pro on it, he enjoys the freedom to move wherever he wants. Tracey is good too. Daphne and I are recreational fliers, and Hermione refuses to go higher than the tree line.
After four days of school, I received my first Howler, Astoria sent me one: "Dudley bloody Dursley! Not even a week in school and you forgot about sending a letter to me? You better do something about it, or you will suffer when I get my hands on you! Hey, Hermione, thank you for your letter."
Harry chuckled: "Dudley is in trouble~, don't underestimate the power of a little sister Dud."
I glared at him and concentrated, EXPECTO PATRONUM! A big lion came out and faced me "Little sis, that howler was mean, I will write you soon." with a wave of my hand the Patronus took off.
Hermione slapped the back of my head: "What happened with Low Key, Dudley?"
Shit! Damage control! "Accidental Magic? It worked for Tracey."
"Don't drag me down with you Dursley! An awesome lion, by the way, you got to teach me that spell though," said Tracey.
I shrugged: "That is easy, concentrate on a happy emotion from a memory or make one up like your wedding day, fill yourself with that emotion, and force it out of you with that spell. A child can cast that."
Daphne commented: "You Are a child, Dudley."
I nodded: "See, even a child can do it. If you think about sending it to someone it will go easier."
Hermione whispered in my ear: "Use your Wand next time." Oops.
Flitwick came to our table: "That was impressive Magic, Mr. Dursley, where did you learn that spell?"
I bullshitted: "I saw it once when I visited Harry. Lord Greengrass received a messenger Patronus, and explained to me how it works, it is pretty easy once you have it worked out."
Flitwick could not believe it: "How many times did you cast that spell before you succeeded? Mr. Dursley?"
I smiled: "This was the first time I cast this spell since I got my Wand, Sir. I bet Hermione, Daphne, and Tracey are close to succeeding. Ah, no Harry is first. Did you see that stag? Easy."
After casting her Lioness, Hermione commented: "Be glad it is the weekend, Astoria is in school at this time on weekdays."
When we left the Great Hall, Tonks grabbed me by my collar and tried to lift me up… tried. "You are not leaving my side until you teach me that spell Dursley!"
"Ok, no problem, can I get my PJ first or do I have to sleep naked next to you?" I asked innocently, "You could be a slow learner and I don't want to lose my innocence, I bet Hermione will object too."
Tonk's hair turned blood red: "Cheeky brat! You know what I mean! Teach me that spell, I need to know that if I want to have a chance to be an Auror."
Hermione slapped my arm and took Tonks away: "I will teach you Miss Tonks, Harry and Dudley explained how your parents helped them, helping you learn that spell is just returning a favor."
Tonks had it before curfew. Her Jack Russel dog stood before me and said: "I got it Cheeky brat, I bet there is not an ounce of innocence on your body."
Xxxxx
The NEWT Students were practicing the Patronus like zealots, if little snots can do it, surely they can too? We need something to divert the attention. Ah! I know just the thing.
Two days later the Daily Garbage headlined:
Hogwarts is in Financial despair!
Dear readers, yesterday we received a call for help from a first-year student. Here are his own words:
Dear Reporter of this fine Magazine,
There is something troubling Hogwarts, I must confess I am a muggle born and can compare schools from the Muggle side to Hogwarts, and it saddens me to say that I find Hogwarts is losing badly.
A few days ago we had flying lessons on brooms that are forty years old or older, a dear friend of mine is a Quidditch fan and declared these brooms death traps and pointed it out to the flight instructor, a former Quidditch Star from the Holyhead Harpies, Madam Hooch. With tears in her eyes, Madam Hooch answered that the school didn't have any money to replace them.
That means that Hogwarts has had money trouble for more than twenty years, assuming the life span of twenty years for a broom is acceptable.
They also don't have any money for a History teacher, I am sure you too fell asleep during his lectures. But that fact, Mr. Reporter, makes it crippling for the Wizarding world. What do we know about Wizarding History? Some names and dates of Goblin rebellions? What about Merlin? What about the founding of the Wizengamot? The Roman Era? The Scots? Picts? Saxons? What about that History? What about Stonehenge to name the most famous one? I bet you slept through it or that Ghost never mentioned it because Hogwarts is too poor to hire a professional.
Another example? Professor Snape is forced to teach Potions in a damp moldy Dungeon instead of a Professional Potion Lab. Not a day goes by that a Cauldron explodes or melts in that horrible dungeon.
You can see it too on the drop of graduated NEWT Potion students.
I am hoping that some money can be relocated for these three troubling gaps in our education. It can't be that hard, a secondhand broom is cheaper than one of Headmaster Dumbledore's Fancy Robes.
Or can I ask for the parents and old students to donate an old broom?
A Concerned Student,
I would like to remain unnamed, but can understand if you want to print my name, I am certain the staff won't retaliate.
Dear readers! I did not know it was that bad! I remember Binns from my days at Hogwarts and confess I slept more than I was awake in his class.
We checked the potion graduates of the last twenty years and there is a drop of 80% in the last ten years! We need to fix this problem before we run out of Healers, Aurors, and Potion Masters.
The suggestion from the student for donating brooms is a good idea, I have an old Clean Sweep 180 in my shed gathering dust, I will donate it to Hogwarts to help them with their financial situation.
Maybe the wizengamot can appoint an accountant to do an audit of the books, there must be some money to rectify this.
For our children!
Xxxxx
Harry looked at me and asked: "What would happen if they mentioned your name, Dud?"
I shrugged: "Oh, Dumbledore knows who wrote it, Harry, have no doubt about that, he has his puppets posted everywhere. But he can't act on it without revealing he has spies planted. Madam Hooch will get a set of brooms, don't you think, maybe she will offer Tracey to roast the old brooms."
Tonks put herself next to us when she saw the newspaper on our table: "I could kiss that kid who wrote to the paper about Snape, look at him, you can see the sparks flying out of his wand. He is in trouble and he knows it."
Harry nodded: "Yeah, the Snake got bit in the ass by a lion. If I find out who wrote that paper I will let you know Tonks, maybe if he knows there is a kiss from you with his name on it, he will reveal himself."
I glared at Harry, it was dangerously close to home. The bastard grinned at me.
Tracey was a happy girl: "We get proper brooms! I am going to ask Hooch if I can have a few old ones to study them.
Hermione commented: "I am with Tonks, that Potion lab is awful, it is hard to brew anything decent in there, you would think there are enough empty classrooms on the first and second floor that are more suitable."
I gave her a one-arm hug and said: "A bat always wants to stay in a dark damp cave. Don't worry, we will ace our OWLS and NEWT even without being taught."
Tonks scoffed: "You think it would be that easy, Brat?" NEWT potions are hard to brew, you know. Stir it the wrong way, not enough or too much, and your potion is ruined. And the ingredients are bloody expensive and spoil too fast."
Tracey frowned: "That is what stasis Charms are for Tonks, Don't you have a case or cabinet with Stasis charms?"
Tonks rolled her eyes: "As I said, bloody expensive, Tracey. Those cost an arm and a leg, and the spells on it are not permanent."
When breakfast was almost over, the doors slammed open and a stream of angry people flooded in, led by Madam Marchbanks, ah, Lucius smelled blood, then his puppet was not far away… there he is with his signature what was it called? A bowler? A bowl? A Chaplin? Meh,
Dumbledore took them to his office, I bet there are some Runes or Spells that make them change their minds and agree with everything he said... I have to write a letter.
Xxxxx
William Weasley
Maybe you don't remember me, but you examined the home of Harry Potter and helped dispel all the harmful stuff, for which I am grateful.
I am writing you this letter concerning your youngest brother, he has the same compulsive behavior we had before it got dispelled.
His hate for Slytherin is over the top, you can compare it with the hate we felt for Harry. Also, he is trying too hard to be friends with Harry, he keeps on trying even when Harry lets it know he is not interested. Harry noticed the similarities too and is keeping your brother at arms-length, we suspect Dumbledore has something to do with this, but I can only point it out to you.
I hope this will help.
Best regards, Dudley Dursley
Xxxxx
Another one!
Madam Bones,
You had no doubt read the report on the old home of Harry Potter.
What if the Headmaster did the same in his office? Wards and spells to make him trustworthy?
What if he did that for the whole school?
Spells that make you ignore the bad stuff and only remember the positive points?
Never visit a Snake in his hiding hole.
Best regards.
Dudley Dursley.
Xxxxx
ROB can kiss my ass! Using the newspaper to smack Dumbledore is a good strategy! Is it not entertaining enough? Bite me… crap, He could arrange that.
Dumbledore got a black eye but didn't go KO, Snape had to move his Potion Lab to the second floor and is on probation. Binns is still teaching History, Dumbledore got some new fancy robes, and Madam Hooch got buried under old brooms from old students.
In the end, nothing changed.
33 Samhain.
Well something changed, we decided to slow our Muggle education down. Not three or four years in one, but one or two at most. A lot of Uni courses have a practical side, being in Hogwarts prevents it. We focused on our Dungeon and our Magic specializations. Meaning animagus training, as we suspected, there are no books to be found in the library about it. They must be in the restricted section.
Snape had it in for us, and especially me. Dumbledore must have told him I was the snitch that ratted him out. The bat tried everything to sabotage me, dropping my vials, distracting me while I was at a delicate critical point in the process, Gamers' Mind rules! An unbreakable spell on my vial and ignoring the bat completely did the trick.
Xxxxx
We celebrated Hermione's birthday in my Empty Dungeon, I let Astoria and Mipsy look in the pet shop for a ginger half kneazle / Persian cat named Crookshanks I claimed to have seen last month. So my birthday present for Hermione was an ugly ginger cat, and she loved him… the cat, not me, she completely forgot about me.
Did I ever tell you I don't like cats? You see, they have an annoying way to sleep in different poses that makes you jealous of them. While you are working your butt off and come home, dead tired, you see that blasted cat lazing in the sun on its back, stretched out… it is enough to want to smack that animal. And now I bought a bloody Garfield for Hermione, I must have some masochistic tics.
It is not all bad, Crookshanks could somehow understand me when I set it to hunt the Weasley rat and bring the corps, if he does it on time, Daphne will get a pretty sexy cat for her birthday. It worked, the rat population at Hogwarts took a beating, the downside? That bloody cat presented every rat to me for inspection.
Then I realized it was my Druid Magic that made that cat understand me better. I narrowed my demand down, "Crookshanks, see that ginger boy over there? He has a pet rat, that is your target, careful mate, that rat is a tricky one. Remember, if you get it on time, you can choose one from this catalog, maybe even two if Sirius wants to reward you, here is a preview, see that Siamese knockout? Or this Egyptian Mau, oh here is a beauty, see? Plenty of Pussy to choose from."
Three days later, Sirius got a dead rat and the picture of a pretty black half-Kneazle / half-Persian with the note: Daphne's birthday is October 15 and you better give her this cat. Hermione's Crookshanks selected her as a reward for catching the rat.
Daphne named her Midnight and threatened Crookshanks to neuter him if he got her pregnant this year. Crookshanks looked at me with a pleading look.
I comforted him, "Don't worry mate, I'll get her on the potion." If looks could kill, I would be dead by now, Midnight doesn't like me much.
Can you believe I had to negotiate with Midnight? I had to point all the qualities of Crookshanks out to her. I explained what heroic deeds he did to win his prize. I even showed her the Catalog and made her look who Crookshanks could have picked instead of her.
I closed with: "On top of that, you get to have fun with him for a whole year without having to worry about kittens. More so, you can tell your servant when you want off the potion and be a Mum."
Daphne protested: "Hey! I am not a servant! I am a companion!"
I looked at Midnight and shrugged: "Just let her think that, okay? That will be easier on everyone."
Xxxxx
Classes continued… slowly, we began to bring our Muggle textbooks to class and started studying after we showed we had the spell memorized, casually casting it with a wave of our wand, often forgetting to shout the Spell.
In the Zombie Dungeon, we started to experiment with WandlessSilent Casting without moving our hands. Just looking at the target and projecting the spell on the target. It was hard at first, but we saw the benefits if we could master it.
Hermione developed a nifty spell, she found a spell to inflate balloons and car tires, she began to project that spell into the heads of the Zombies, it cost almost no Magic power, and it caused the eyes to pop out as in the Cartoons of that coyote. We became good with that spell, a horrible spell if you do that on real people. We popped a thousand Zombies in two hours with time to spare.
When that got boring, we tested all kinds of spells on the Zombies, petrifying, silencing, grooming spells like combing the hair, shaving hair, coloring charms, you know all the spells you need to practice on someone else before you risk it on yourself.
Tracey found a nice one too, it locked all the bones in the position they are when the spell is cast. The Spell froze the joints between the bones. Everything still functions, but not a single bone can move an inch. It is borderline torture, if you can't do wandless silent casting to dispel it, you could be paralyzed for weeks, starving slowly to death.
The best feature is that the spell is invisible, the Avada is a slow-moving green spell, stinging hex is a red one, you can avoid them easily. The paralyzing Spell is an instant cast and if the target is within 50 feet, if you don't have any Magic resistance you are a sitting duck.
We trained that spell like boys who were embarrassed when they could not unhook the bra from their first girlfriend and started practicing at home… Yeah, me too. Bloody complicated contraptions, and when you finally got it right, she changed models with a completely different locking system. I swear she did it on purpose. When next we made out, I spent five minutes fondling her backside to find those hooks, I found out she bought one that closed at the front. I broke up with her, she laughed too loud, bitch. Petty? Definitively NOT! A guy doesn't want to feel like a blundering idiot… even when he is one.
Where was I? Ah, spell, we became frighteningly good with that spell, a look at a Zombie froze it in place, no hand moving no spell shouted, not a wand pointing. Just a look and you have a living statue. The Petrificus is not the same, that spell snaps all the limbs together and you are as stiff as a board, our spell can freeze someone and the one next to him won't notice it until they look or talk to him.
Playing with spikes is fun too, spears, Earth, Ice, Iron, even Fire spikes, I developed a giant Chinese finger trap for Basi, silver needles for Werewolves, even silver nets to trap them in. Tying the zombies up is fun too, tied up, they still move like maggots to get to us. Are we becoming maniacs? Nah.
Xxxxx
Samhain, or Halloween, depending on what Deity you sell your soul to. I was curious that Canon was still running, that evening at dinner I checked if someone was missing. Did the Weasel let someone else cry? Nope, they are all counted for.
There he is! The door slammed open and Quirrell made his drama debut, "Troll in the Dungeon! I thought you wanted to know." and fake drop on the floor… end scene.
I nudged Harry: "Check if that faker still has a heartbeat, slap his face a bit. Hurry before someone else thinks of it."
Did I set him up? Yeah, but it is a sure way to expose Voldie in public. Harry jumped over the table and squatted next to Quirrell: "Sir? Are you still alive?" Harry touched Quirrell's neck, searching for a pulse, and slapped his face, "Wake up, Sir!" slap, slap! SLAP, SLAP!
In the meantime, Dumbledore shouted: "Silence! Prefects, lead the student to your dorms, Now!"
I put a sonorus on my voice and protested: "NO! We want to hunt the Troll too! Why can only the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins have all the fun? Why can't we hunt for the Troll too? Our parents pay good money, so we have to get the same education! We want to hunt the Troll! We want to hunt the Troll!"
I made a beeline for the door and escaped, while Harry looked bedazzled as Quirrell turned into dust. "I didn't slap that hard," he mumbled.
Trusting Canon, I sprinted to the second floor and saw the troll pay a visit to Myrtle. All those possibilities, that Troll died in a lot of ways, I call them the Three Martyrs of Harry Potter Fan Fics, the Troll, the Basilisk, and the Dragon, those three poor creatures died in a thousand different ways, one crueler than the next one.
I went for the classic one, no, I do not jump on its back, it is time for my Le-vi-O-Sa, I took my trusted Wand out of my Inventory and yelled "Wingardium Le-vi-O-Sa!" I guided the club high against the ceiling, and when the Troll looked up to the club I planted the club on the Troll's face. Almost Level 76 made a big mess of that poor Troll's head.
I floated the Troll behind me with another Le-vi-O-Sa and went back to the Great Hall to show my trophy. Halfway to the Hall, I spotted the Ravens and Lions… they still had to move to their dorm? Ah! They must have witnessed Voldemort in vapor form.
I waved: "Hey guys! Ravenclaw won the contest! I just had a hunch where I could find it. What do we win?"
Hermione scolded me: "Why didn't you take us along? You a Troll, Harry turned Quirrell into dust, What about our fun?"
Daphne complained to me too: "Hermione is right, what about us?"
I held my hands up and said: "Alright, the three of you can have the next one. What do you prefer, a Basilisk or a colony of Acromantula?"
Tracey answered: "Both of course!"
"Where is Harry?" I asked, "Did he go out for a hunt too?"
Daphne shook her head: "Remember that dark aura on Quirrell? Voldemort stuck on the back of Quirrell's head, when Harry touched him, he turned into dust. We already sent our Patronus to our parents and Hermione sent one to Sirius. They will be here any second."
The Claws and Lions were listening slack-jawed to us and looked at a floating Troll with a smashed-in face. Meh, we took the Troll to the great hall, to search for Harry.
Hermione commented: "That is the next thing to research, how to stay in contact with each other when we are separated."
I shrugged: "You are right, we got to find a way to communicate. Daphne, can you float Trolly, I have to send a Patronus to Madam Bones, and girls, remember, this was a Troll Hunt organized by the Staff to celebrate Voldie's dead day."
Xxxxx
Madam Bones sat at a table with several high officials at a dinner party to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the end of the Wizarding War, when a big Lion Patronus appeared before her and a manly… boyish voice said to her: "Madam Bones, can you send someone to Hogwarts? There was a Troll loose in the Castle and a teacher just died. I think your niece is safe, although I heard there was a Troll in the Dungeon."
That was enough to cause a stampede, a lot of the guests had a kid in Slytherin and hurried to Scotland. Let's see how Dumbledore talks himself out of this one.
Xxxxx
Sirius was the first to arrive, he was at the three Broomsticks getting drunk when he got Hermione's Patronus: "Padfoot, Harry is in trouble, get here as fast as you can." Sirius rushed to the castle, he slammed the doors of the Great Hall open and saw Harry surrounded by the Professors.
"Get away from my Godson!" he roared, "Nobody is going to hurt my boy, or there will be Blood Feuds!"
Harry smiled when he heard that, and went to Sirius, "Hey Padfoot, this castle is a madhouse. Did you know they set a Troll loose so that the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins could hunt it in the Dungeons? Dudley got mad because the Claws had to go to our dorm, he went to hunt the Troll alone."
Sirius looked at Harry and asked: "Why did I receive a Patronus from Hermione that you are in trouble?"
Harry pointed to a pile of ash: "That used to be our Dada Professor Quirrell, when he rushed in to start the Troll Hunt, he fake fainted. Dudley told me to mess with him a bit, you know, feel for a heartbeat and slap his face to wake him up. I swear, I only slapped him four times, and not even that hard. Suddenly he screamed and turned into… well, that."
Sirius turned to Dumbledore, who was listening astonished to Harry's explanation, and hissed: "Are you completely gone insane, Dumbledore? Why are you setting a Troll loose in the castle for a Hunt?"
The doors slammed open again, and a brave, mildly good-looking boy, accompanied by three stunning beauties, came into the Great Hall. A Troll with a caved-in head floated behind them.
That Manly, Heroic, Brave, mildly Good-looking boy made a victory sign and shouted: "Ravenclaw won! I claim the carcass as spoils of the Hunt… no, what was it again Daphne?"
"Right of conquest, Dudley, you killed that Troll by yourself, so you have the first claim." answered Daphne, she got in front of McGonagall and said: "Professor McGonagall, I want to file a complaint to the organizers of this event. This is a clear case of discrimination against Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. Why was only Hufflepuff and Slytherin allowed to hunt for the Troll?"
McGonagall finally came to her senses: "Miss Greengrass, there was never an event like that! We would never allow a Troll to roam free in the castle, let alone organize a Hunt for it!"
Sirius exploded: "Yes you did, McGonagall! The castle has wards to keep Trolls out, and even warns you when one is near the border! So when a Troll is in this castle, Dumbledore knows about it. Dumbledore, don't take me for a fool, we will get to the bottom of this, if this is one of your sick games you will pay."
Sirius glared at the Staff and demanded: "Now explain to me how a teacher can turn into ash in front of my Godchild."
Xxxxx
This was fun, claiming this as an organized event got the staff off balance, it made Dumbledore wonder where his plans went wrong, and had to recalculate his future actions, Harry's story and my claim surprised the old goat.
Ah, the doors of the Great Hall slammed open again, this time Lord Greengrass and Lord Davis came in with their Ladies, all of them with wands in their hands. They froze when they spotted the floating Troll close to their daughters.
Lord Greengrass asked: "What is the meaning of this? Why is there a Troll in the castle? Who put my little girl in mortal danger?"
Hmm? No comments from the Bat? Ah, he is still on probation, a wrong word and he is out. At least he has some common sense.
I heard Lord Davis roar: "No, Dumbledore! Allowing Trolls in the castle is not a minor mistake! You put my daughter before a Troll and think I am OK with that?"
Sirius added: "It looks like having three full-time jobs is too much for you, Dumbledore, you better pick one because you are going to lose the other two."
Hey! The girls can act too! They were crying in the arms of their mother, even Hermione was hugged! The professors realized they were being played when they saw Daphne cry in her mother's arms, when not a minute before she demanded the right to hunt that Troll. "Her Mommy, I was so scared" topped it all.
The doors of the Great Hall slammed open again, this time a whole herd rushed in, a bunch of Death Eaters in front, they did not notice the ash on the floor and stomped all over it.
Malfoy got in front of Dumbledore and fumed: "Why is there a Troll in the castle, Dumbledore? Are you out of your mind? Hmm, is that a mountain Troll?"
Dumbledore took them to his office and did damage control, he lost his side jobs though, Sirius insisted that he focused on teaching instead of politics, strangely enough, helped by Madam Bones and Malfoy.
Xxxxx
Our reputation was set from that day, The Boy Who Lived became the Boy Who Killed, I was named Troll Slayer, the girls were The Three Princesses, although behind their backs it was Battle Crazy Bitches. Our group got nicknamed The Geniuses, and behind our back The Freaks, Harry was a bit touchy about that name, it got a bunch of Slytherin NEWT students a stay in the Hospital wing for a couple of days. As I said, a bit touchy.
We discovered the RoR when we were exploring the seventh floor, as our local Magic Crafter, I let Tracey do the discovery, I just gave a few hints in the right direction, Hermione was in heaven, all the books from the restricted section were there for grabs! Harry saw a whole shelf with books on Parsel Magic, Daphne and I were paging through Druidic Magic and Animagus books.
Tonks was a regular visitor to our group, she was a fun-loving chick and didn't mind spending some time with her cousin, although Cousin can be taken liberally, Harry's Grandmother was the sister of Tonk's Great-Grandfather, if they hook up you can't call that inbreeding, no?
Because it is Tonks last year, we decided to let her in the secret of the RoR, Harry did the introduction: "Tonks, this here is the Room of Requirements, in here you can create any environment you want, a potion lab, a library, a dueling arena, a training space, anything is possible. We only ask you to keep it a secret."
Tonks explored the room Harry made, every function he named was there, she smiled at Harry: "Little cousin, if you didn't already have a bunch of girls hanging around your neck, then I would claim you for myself. I can use this room anytime I want?"
Harry swallowed, Tonks is a fine-looking babe, he answered: "Yeah, just when you make the room, be sure to allow access to the five of us. We do that for you too."
Harry go his first titty hug, ah, to die between the globes of heaven, what a sweet way to go. He could also die from the daggers Daphne and Tracey are glaring at him when his hands were on Tonks's ass.
Xxxxx
When Christmas break was in sight, we voted on what to kill first, the Basilisk or the Acromantula. There must be something wrong with our mentality, we all voted for the Basilisk, more so when Tracey vetoed the use of roosters.
She argued: "Where is the achievement when you let some chickens kill that Basilisk?"
I tried to joke: "Harry and I can say we killed it with our cock!… Alright, saying it out loud, it sounds all kinds of wrong. Chickens are banned, how are we going to kill it?"
Daphne suggested: "Fiendfire, we burn it."
Tracey protested: "No way Daph, I need those body parts unharmed, we can make a fortune with that snake."
Harry asked: "Dud? Are you sure there is a Basilisk in a Secret Chamber? How did you find out?"
I explained… bullshitted: "You know that I studied a bit about Ghosts to see what makes them tick, I questioned Myrtle, she is the youngest Ghost, she is in fact Voldemort's first victim. He controlled that basilisk to terrorize Hogwarts and she was the first one to die."
A long story short, they all got updated on the life and death of Tom Riddle.
After training a night in our Zombie Dungeon, meaning eighty hours of Zombie killing, we were ready to kick Snake. We trained blindfolded, trusting our other senses and battle awareness, we added Aura Sense to our skills. Even with our eyes closed we felt the aura's. Meh, it will work.
Xxxxx
Harry opened the sink after we moved the alerts away from it, and slid down the slope, Ladies first of course, even when covered with filth and staring daggers at me, it was worth it. The shed skin made Tracey salivate, all the things she could create from it…
At the door of the chamber, we prepared our equipment, the Hero party is preparing for battle! That need special movements you know, we saw that in the Movies, strong short movements, the boots are important, those shoelaces have to be tied properly, filling all our pockets with all kinds of stuff, we took an example from Rambo and Schwarzenegger movies… we had to drop three-quarters of our equipment, it weighed a ton!
Harry opened the door and we advanced in battle formation, meaning the girls up front… I promised they could kill it! Naggers, equal rights between Women and Men, remember?
The room was empty, after exploring a bit, Hermione said to Harry: "Harry, tell these statues to open or something, there must be something here."
Harry was the only Parselmouth, we spent a day in my Empty Dungeon trying to learn it without success.
We got ready for battle when a statue opened its mouth and a loud hissing came out of it.
"Get ready! That snake is pissed!" shouted Harry, "Hungry too."
I concentrated on getting those eyes covered, I conjured a big black bag before the statue's mouth and captured the head of the Basilisk in it, with a Sticking Charm the eyes were blocked. It was almost as easy as using chickens. Having a team of ruthless killers helps too.
We chained the snake to the floor, we did not know what the snake said to Harry and he did not say, but the force he used to drive a spike through his brain said enough. Tracey groaned when so many parts got destroyed.
Daphne stopped me from storing it: "Wait a bit, Dudley, let us study this basilisk, if we are lucky we can transform into a Magical Snake."
I shook my head: "I'll store it in my Inventory and we study it tonight in my Empty Dungeon. Let's explore this place first."
Riddle looted the place clean, we found an empty office and a dusty storage room, as a consolation prize we found two extra shed skins.
Xxxxx
By now the only ones with enough nerves to talk to us are Tonks, the Patils, and strange but true, Millicent Bulstrode, that kid has a major crush on me, I am her Top Troll, her Barbarian, even Hermione's Killer Glares can't scare her off.
On the train ride home, we were left alone, no Malfoy, no Weasley, although seeing his rat getting killed by Crookshanks traumatized the kid. I felt sorry for the kid and gave Percy money to get him a new wand and an owl.
Tonks came into our compartment and locked the door behind her, she turned to us and asked: "Can you guys explain how you got so good at Magic? I saw you all casting spells without wands or words. I would do anything if you could share it with me or teach me. You know I can keep a secret."
We looked at each other, I shrugged, Harry nodded, Daphne took a long look at Tonks, and finally nodded, Tracey nodded too, Hermione smiled, she liked Tonks and nodded too.
"You better keep this a secret, Tonks, this is the kind that gets you hunted down before you get too powerful. Do you see that blue floating screen? Mentally push yes. Ok now think Stats!"
Nymphadora Victoria Tonks
Human Mage
Age 17
Level 28
Str: 27
Agi: 28
Stam: 28
Int: 45
Wis: 30
Mag: 68
Stat Points: 0.
"Like in video games, your powers are analyzed into numbers, in a way you can see this as I am a Gamer and I invited you to my party. The trick is that we can level up in a Dungeon. Your level is already quite high, but we can make it better. Girls, change into your gear in my apartment trunk."
Twenty minutes later we introduced Tonks to our Zombies after a brief explanation I said: "Tonks, I am going to reset your level, that way you receive more status points. That is level 1 and all stats to 10. Feel free to cast all the spells you can think of, I set the XP point distribution to only you. Guys and Galls, let's see how high we can boost her in two hours. Time it… Go!"
Tonks screamed the lungs out of her body when we set loose! Hermione made a row of Zombie's heads explode, my massive Fiendfire Lion went to another section and started to burn its way through another group all the while my foghorn was calling the zombies to us, Daphne made a pack of stone Direwolves that tore into the Zombies with a vengeance. Tracey enchanted several blades to spin at high speed and steered them to decapitate her targets. Harry made a carpet of fire and burned his way through the mass.
We stood in our favorite spot in the Dungeon, a five-way crossroads in the center of the city ruins. Each of us has a road to cover, and with the Foghorn they kept on coming.
In the second hour, we started to dual cast, a new development, we used our wands in our off-hand and used the other to guide our main Magic. It is a rush to control two Fiendfire Lions, Daphne created two more of Direwolve packs and made them go berserk, Tracey's disks made a mess, while Tonks yelled "Stupefy!"
Hermione commented: "That won't kill them, Tonks, use the Cutting curse, that is a good one to start. Harry, up the volume of that horn, please. We silenced our spot, Tonks, that foghorn is too loud."
Wave after wave the Zombies kept on coming, the few that came through, got grind in Tracey's last defense, picture the machine they use to shred trees and modify it to shred zombies… yep, very messy.
Xxxxx
We changed our gear and sat back down in our train compartment, we checked her progress.
Nymphadora Victoria Tonks
Human Mage
Age 17
Level 35
Str: 45
Agi: 45
Stam: 45
Int: 45
Wis: 45
Mag: 45
Stat Points: 175
Hermione commented: "Do you see the difference? You raised 7 levels, but your body and Magic are a multitude stronger than before. See your extra stat points? Put 50 each in Intellect, Magic, and Wisdom, and 5 to the rest."
Harry said: "You have doubled your power and Magic in just two hours, Tonks. We don't go all out every time like today, we would go nuts if we did. The higher our level gets the harder is it to level up. Dudley just got to Level 76, it took him six months to raise one level. I am Level 72, the girls are closing in on us with Level 67."
Harry patted a still somewhat dazed Tonks on her back: "The advantage of these Dungeons is that time goes ten times faster in there and we don't age in there. One last thing you have to learn, Tonks, take this book on Magic Theory and try to memorize it, I mean it, try really hard to memorize this book in Dudley's Empty Dungeon. You will get the Eidetic Memory skill.
I put her in my Empty Dungeon and after ten minutes I went in to see how far she got. She saw me coming in and smiled: "I have the skill. That and the increase of my Intellect and comprehension from my Wisdom not only let me memorize this book, but I understand it better now. I am going to Ace my NEWTS with this. Thanks, Dudley."
I took her outside and told her: "We can give you another two-hour boost in a few days, that will bring you over Level 50. After that, you are one of the team and have to contribute, We are doing Dungeons on fixed days in the RoR you can always join."
Tracey grinned: "We spend more time changing clothes than we spend in the dungeons. Welcome to the team, Tonks."
Tonks hugged her and said: "Thank you all, now I have to go through all my course books again to get the missing parts, I am so going to Ace my NEWTS."
Harry grinned evilly at me and said: "Tonks, do you remember that article in the Daily Prophet about Snape? Guess who deserves that kiss."
Xxxxx
An: Stats coming up! Scroll if you are not interested!
Dudley Dursley
Human
Class: Mage / Druid / Warrior
Age 11
Level 76
Str: 92
Agi: 87
Stam: 87
Int: 165
Wis: 165
Mag: 267
Stats Points 20
Xxxxx
Harry James Potter
Human Elemental Mage
Age 11
Level 72
Str: 78
Agi: 84
Stam: 84
Int: 183
Wis: 183
Mag: 234
Stat Points: 21
Xxxxx
Hermione Jean Granger
Human Elemental Mage
Age 12
Level 67
Str: 74
Agi: 75
Stam: 70
Int: 194
Wis: 194
Mag: 185
Stat Points: 5
Xxxxx
Daphne Ellen Greengrass
Human Druid
Age 12
Level 67
Str: 74
Agi: 75
Stam: 79
Int: 191
Wis: 189
Mag: 191
Stat Points: 5
Xxxxx
Tracey Victoria Davis
Human Magic Crafter
Age 12
Level 67
Str: 74
Agi: 79
Stam: 72
Int: 184
Wis: 189
Mag: 192
Stat Points: 5
Xxxxx
Astoria Anabel Greengrass
Human Mage
Age 10
Level 30
Str: 37
Agi: 38
Stam: 38
Int: 83
Wis: 83
Mag: 88
Stat Points: 20
Xxxxx
Nymphadora Victoria Tonks
Human Mage
Age 17
Level 35
Str: 50
Agi: 50
Stam: 50
Int: 98
Wis: 98
Mag: 98
Stat Points: 1
34 Endgame.
Tonks' eyes shined: "I could have known it was one of you! Who was it? Hermione or Daphne? It wasn't Tracey, she was mentioned as a dear friend in that article."
Harry, that bloody traitor pointed at me and said one word: "Him."
Tonks smiled sensually at me and with swaying hips approached me: "So it was you, well, I said I was going to kiss that Firstie, I might as well do that."
I protested: "Noo! You can't steal my first kiss! I am saving that for someone special!"
Harry teased: "Hurry up and give Hermione a snog, then Tonks can be your second Kiss."
I glared at Harry and told him: "Don't think you get away with this mate, I'll have you snogging Tonks if I want to, but I care too much for Daphne's and Tracey's happiness."
A red hot blushing Hermione said: "I don't mind if Tonks give you that kiss Dudley, you deserved a kiss for that article. It gave us decent brooms and a better Potion Lab."
Tonks sat next to Hermione, put her arm around her shoulder, and said: "I can wait until you give him his first kiss, Hermione, I am not a skank that steals boyfriends from my friends. Just tell me when."
Daphne asked me: "How can you arrange for Harry to snog Tonks, Dudley? Can you force him to do that?"
"Not forcing, no, but I can trick him into doing that," I answered.
"How?" came out of five mouths.
I shrugged: "Right of Conquest. Riddle was the last of his line, so is Harry, Riddle was out to end the Line of House Potter, Harry defended himself and killed Riddle in the process, Riddle is the last of House Gaunt, and the Slytherin Line, so Harry can claim both Houses."
I smiled evilly at Harry and asked: "What would happen when I tell your Dad-in-laws this juicy fact? Remember, those Death Eaters swore fealty to the Heir of Slytherin, and guess who can claim that House? Can you picture it, Harry? Your Magical Guardians can claim those for you, and guess who needs two extra wives for it? I bet Tonks would volunteer, No?"
Daphne swore: "Morgana's saggy tits! That is exactly what would happen when you tell that to our fathers. It would give them total control of the Wizengamot. It is also a way to out the supporters of that monster. Tracey, it could end the second war before it even starts. Voldemort's is still on this Earth so he can return."
Tracey groaned: "Damn you Dudley! You are right, Daphne, this is too important to ignore, can we live with the guilt if we don't tell anyone and they start killing people?"
Tonks asked: "What am I missing here?"
Daphne explained: "Harry has to claim Houses Gaunt and Slytherin to out all the Imperio Death Eaters. They swore Fealty to the Heir of Slytherin, a lot of them are Lords in the Wizengamot. Being Guardians of House Potter's last Heir, our Fathers can command those Death Eaters to confess their crimes or even lose their House and Magic to Harry."
I smiled at her and added: "That means at least two more wives for Harry, and guess who just joined the team?"
Harry sighed, "Me and my big mouth. Can we avoid it? No offense, Tonks, but I like to keep it with only Daphne and Tracey."
That would crack ROB up, getting Harry with a bunch of wives will be entertaining enough I hope.
I popped his wish like a balloon: "It gets worse, Harry, guess who is the Heir of Lord Black? A boy with black hair and green eyes. That is wife NR.5 or you got to hook Sirius up with a suitable woman. The Tally is on Five now. I must warn you, Hermione is off the market."
Hermione smiled when she heard my claim, hey! I can't let Harry have them all, can I? There are enough others to choose from. I trained her up, and she seemed to like me for some obscure reason. SHE'S MINE!
Before we reached the station, we removed all tracking Charms from our luggage, we already dispelled ourselves, a routine we developed before we entered my Dungeon. Dumbledore is very persistent.
Xxxxx
At the Station, Astoria jumped us, "Harry! Dudley! Finally, you are here! Dudley, you have to visit us tomorrow for Yule! Hermione too, everyone wants to see your Patronus!"
I gave her a hug and said: "Hello to you too, miss Howler, I would love to come over just to visit you, you know."
Astoria pouted: "You promised to write and you forgot it! I am in the right! You deserved that Howler."
Hermione came over with her parents and commented: "Yes he did, Astoria, you had to see the look on his face when you were scolding him. Dudley, are you ready?"
We left a troubled Harry behind, I am curious if they will tell it to their Fathers.
Xxxxx
Mum and Dad were happy to see me and were glad I left my stuff at Hogwarts, Dad was proud that Hermione and I upstaged the pure bloods, he was even happy to know Harry was in the top five of our year.
"You are looking great Dad, I am glad you keep working out. How is Aunty Marge? I did not write a lot to her, I did not want to bother Hermione's parents too much to put my letters in the Postal box."
"Bloody owls, what a stupid way to send letters to someone." Grumbled Dad.
It feels great to be pampered by your parents, no I didn't know the feeling, if you are from a family like the Weasleys and are from the middle part, there is no pampering involved at all. So now I am basking in their love and attention. Eat me! I earned it!
Xxxxx
I visited Hermione the next day, Dimzy The Davis elf took us to Davis Manor, it was a nice family gathering, the Greengrasses, the Davis. Tonkses and Sirius were invited too, and the families of the Ladies, the Browns, and Lovegoods, yes, Lavender is here too, Lady Greengrass and Lady Davis are nieces, Pandora is a niece of both Ladies too. Lady Brown is a sister of Lady Davis... ROB, I blame everything on ROB.
Tracey took us to the woods behind the Manor, Lavender, Luna, Astoria, and Tonks came along. At the edge of the forest we stopped, Daphne took a pouch out and retrieved a handful of acorns.
She handed one to each of us and said: "Push your Magic in that acorn, the more the better. Put it on the ground wide apart from each other and say Grow."
One by one oaks started to grow, a few minutes later five big, very big impressive oaks, two big oaks, and two normal oaks were standing proudly in front of us.
Tracey said: "Harry, Dudley, it is the task of the males to cut the trees for the Yule log. Go ahead."
A few seconds later, nine logs laid out in front of us, Daphne and Tracey vanished the branches and roots, while Hermione extracted the water from the logs, witnessed by wide-eyed relatives, Luna and Lavender included. We levitated our logs to the bonfire, Harry and I transported Lavender's and Luna's logs.
Xxxxx
Sirius softly said to Lord Greengrass and Davis, "It is amazing how much Magic they have and how strong they are. Did you see those five giant trees?"
Lord Greengrass nodded: "I saw, but did you see the trees from Astoria and Nymphadora? Those were well above average too. I wonder what their secret is. Although I am afraid to confront them about it, I might not like the answer."
Lord Davis remarked: "In case you didn't notice it, all of it was done wandless and silent, with hardly any gesture. Even Dumbledore would have a hard time with it."
Tonks, who was listening to the conversation added: "Dudley Dursley, if you look at the energy of their group, it revolves around the boy. He is the one who decides on the action and makes the decisions. If you remember our first meetings, he was the one that steered us with his questions and remarks."
Lord Greengrass shrugged: "As I said, I am afraid to ask. What I do know, Astoria is part of it, and by the look of that tree trunk so is Nymphadora."
Xxxxx
Luna was… Luna, she asked; "Why do the five of you haven't any Nargels on you?"
I answered, "We can dispel them, you can ward them off with radishes and cork, but we have an Aura cleansing spell that gets rid of most of those pests. Here let me write it down for you, see? That is the Spell, and those are the wand movements. If you are good at it you can even do it wandless, like this."
A Nargle-free Luna skipped to her Mom with the paper and showed it to her. It will save on the radishes and corks. Lavender was promoting herself at Harry much to the dissatisfaction of Daphne and Tracey and my amusement. I can count her as one of the candidates of the Potter Harem. It was my turn to have a bag of popcorn. Anyway, the Ancestor of Christmas was a success, we had fun and discovered the Magic of the ceremony. Especially Daphne and I as Druids felt the connection.
The next day, we showed Basi to the Three Lords, I had it stored in my apartment trunk. We gave a bullshit story but with the prospect of selling that Basilisk for a couple of millions, we could claim the snake had a heart attack and dropped dead in front of us and they would still believe it.
Meh, Harry invested my cash in the companies I pointed out, after seven years I will be filthy rich.
Xxxxx
We spent Christmas at Hermione. Harry, Daphne, and Tracey were staying over, Harry with me, the girls with Hermione. We explained to our parents why we slowed our Muggle studies down.
Hermione said: "University courses often have a practical part or demand a token of attending classes. We are cooped up at Hogwarts for seven years, so we will spread our education out, and take some different courses, like Art or Music."
Dad nodded: "We trust you, your grades were more than good last year, it is your future and you all showed that you are mature enough to see this through."
We boosted Tonks to Level 51, she selected Magic Crafter after she saw what Tracey could do with it.
Astoria insisted on getting Level 50 too, she wanted to be a Druid like Daphne. Well, the parents know there is something going on, so giving Astoria a boost is no big deal.
Xxxxx
On the train to Hogwarts, Weasley visited our compartment: "Mr. Dursley, my brother William told me you were the one that noticed my condition. Thank you for sending him that letter." he turned to Harry, "Heir Potter, I apologize for my past behavior and won't bother you again to force a friendship on you. It was a potion-induced condition."
Harry nodded: "We understand, Mr. Weasley, we ourselves were a victim of it once, there is no need to apologize. We can start with a clean slate if you want."
When Weasley left, Harry looked at me with a question in his eye, I explained: "His brother was the one that dispelled our house, I wrote him a letter to check him out. They obviously found a lot of it wrong, I bet his dad let him rehearse those lines."
Xxxxx
Snape kept on harassing me, but when he got too far with Hermione I knew it was time to bring him down a few nudges.
"You know sir," I said out loud, "I have to agree with you, taking points for breathing too loud is justified. You just demonstrated to me that it is annoying and is distracting me from brewing my potion to perfection. Thank you for pointing it out to me, at first I thought that you were acting like a jerk, but you were actually teaching me. I apologize for thinking that."
"Twenty points from Ravenclaw for disrespecting me!" growled Snape.
I nodded wisely: "And you keep on teaching, by unfairly deducting points from us, you prepare us for the real world. Even bullying us Mudbloods prepares us for the pureblood discrimination against us in the real world. Thank you, Sir."
"Fifty points from Raven claw! And a month's detentions!" Shouted an angry Snape.
"Ah? Now you are proving that the point system is useless? I agree sir, it is obvious to us that you only let Slytherin win that cup to prove the world isn't fair and corruption is found everywhere." I calmly commented to him.
Snape fumed: "A hundred points from Ravenclaw! I have you expelled for those accusations and slander!"
I acted surprised: "What slander, Sir? I agree with your actions! You are the only teacher that is preparing us for an unforgiving world!"
"GET OUT!" Roared Snape.
"Ah, I just finished my potion, here you go sir, don't worry, my vial has an unbreakable spell on it." and I left the class, the Puffs could not believe what they saw, Hermione handed her vial to Snape, packed her stuff and followed me out.
I was waiting outside when Hermione walked out of the class, "Did you get kicked out too? "I asked.
"No, I finished my potion and went after you. Why did you agonize him, Dudley?" asked Hermione.
I shrugged: "Snape was going too far with you, I know you can defend yourself, but I could not stand his vitriol anymore."
"You know that you can't avoid a meeting with the headmaster. Your action will make it in the rumor mill by lunch and you in the Headmaster's office after dinner, we better plan ahead," she predicted.
Xxxxx
Hermione was right, at lunch, I was a Hero and a Villain at the same time, a Hero for standing up to Snape, a Villain for losing 170 points in one lesson, a record!
Harry defended me, he stood up and loudly commented: "Why are you even complaining? Do you really think Snape is going to let us win that cup? He never takes points from Slytherin and lets us lose enough points to let Slytherin win. It isn't even funny anymore. What do you care about losing points? What do you win? Do you respect Slytherin more because they won that cup last year? No, because they got it through a cheating man who isn't even trying to pose as a teacher."
Daphne and Tracey had stars in their eyes! Their hubby is The Man! Protector of home and Fair Maidens! They almost can't wait until they are old enough to be defiled by their Hubby.
"Mr. Potter! Twenty points from Ravenclaw for disrespecting a professor!" shouted the voice of McGonagall
Harry shrugged and loudly said: "I did not disrespect a Professor, professor. I disrespected an incompetent bully who was better at insulting us than teaching us. Copying a recipe on a blackboard isn't teaching. Mr. Filch can even do that!"
"Twenty points from Ravenclaw and detention for the rest of the month! Even if you don't like Professor Snape, you have to show respect!" Argued McGonagall
Harry responded: "Professor, respect is earned, not given! Even when you take a thousand points, it doesn't change the fact that Snape is an incompetent bully, and frankly, I almost have enough of this school. Do you even know why he is taking points from us? Do you even care?"
I put my hand on Harry's shoulder and calmed him down: "Forget it Harry, They need Snape to train the death eaters kids. They have to learn how to bully and rape."
All the students gasped at my comment, "What? You don't believe me? Ask any senior girl if she dares to walk alone through the castle. If they get assaulted and raped, the boy gets a slap on his wrist and a few detentions, a week later he can rape again. Ask your seniors that I am lying."
I turned to McGonagall and asked: "Can you tell me that I am lying, Professor McGonagall? I am not even a half year here and I heard the rumors. Not one rumor, but multiple rumors, Professor. This is not a school but a Death Eaters Boot Camp."
Can I let the students revolt? Nah, too soon. We got enough people who raised their voices in our support to shut McGonagall up.
Xxxxx
Flitwick guided us to the headmaster's office, Harry, his fiancees, and me. Hermione tagged along as a key witness… she insisted. Mars Bars let us in, it seems that it is one of his favorite candies in all the Layers. Lord Greengrass and Lord Davis were present as our guardians, Lord Black was there as Godfather. Snape and McGonagall represented the staff, Flitwick was between a rock and a hard place.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled: "Now that we are all here we can come to the reason for calling you here. Mr. Dursley showed a great amount of disrespect for his Potion Professor in public, I am afraid I have no other choice but to expel him and have his Magic bound."
Lord Greengrass asked: "Show the proof of that disrespect Dumbledore, my daughter reported that Snape repeatably bullied and insulted my wards."
"Tracey confirmed it in her letters to me," said Lord Davis, "So it is natural that our ward returns that disrespect. I know that you have a pensive here, let us compare memories and determine who is wrong?"
"I am willing to present my memories," I offered, "in fact, I was planning to show them to the DMLE later on. I acted today because Snape crossed the line by insulting Hermione. Calling her a Mudblood is crossing the line."
Sirius fumed: "Dumbledore? Do you condone such behavior from your staff? Did you forget what we fought for? What James and Lilly die for?"
"Sirius, calm down, I bet he will forgive me, if he even can forgive rapists three or four times in a row, some name-calling is nothing compared to that. I bet threatening to expel me is just a move to get some benefits from my guardians. I think it is better to call the DMLE, Madam Bones is impartial, let's call her."
I turned to Dumbledore: "And sir, will you stop with your wandless compulsion charms? Dispelling them is starting to annoy me. No, Legilimence won't work either."
Am I scared? Nah, he is Level 68, old, and out of practice, I bet Hermione or one of Harry's girls can take him on easily. Snape is Level 51, quite high actually, only Flitwick and McGonagall score higher, with 65 and 63, we can totally whoop their asses.
Hah, is this the standoff between the Heroes and the Villains? It must be! The Evil Lord is sitting on his throne and the Heroes are gathered for the last showdown. It just needs another push.
"Harry, if things get nasty, you control Professor Flitwick, Daphne, and Tracey, take McGonagall, Hermione is enough for Snape, Dumbledore is for me. Only if they attack us first." I boldly stated.
Okay, the in-laws and Sirius were slack-jawed when I divided our targets. Snape fumed, how dare that mudblood disrespect him!
Dumbledore chuckled: "Do you really think you can win from me, Mr. Dursley? How do you think you can manage that?"
I shrugged: "That would be easy, Headmaster, Tracey already disconnected all your support wards that give you extra power. That skill you are pretending to have to defeat Gellert is a bluff, you ambushed your former lover when Lord Potter and Lord Black already wounded him. That dead stick in your hand won't work properly for you, because you conned your lover, and most of all, I already immobilized you. Harry? Capture his wand, please."
I turned to the speechless Lords and explained: "Never wait until the end of the monologue to take action, we were doing spells the moment we divided the targets, Tracey took care of those nasty loyalty wards the moment we entered. Daphne? What did he do to his Phoenix?"
"That poor bird! That is a slave curse! He put a slave curse on a Phoenix! That awful man defiled one of the purest beings and bound it into slavery! Trackers, Compulsion Charms, I can remove those but I have a better idea." Daphne took a piece of paper and noted a few lines, "Wait a bit… Here, pretty bird, take this note to Goldtooth the Greengrass account manager, and let the Goblins remove that curse, Dad is paying. Go now, I broke the connection."
Daphne turned to Dumbledore: "Yes, I can override your control over that Phoenix if it hates you enough. You despicable man, is this why you tortured Harry all these years? To satisfy your sense of superiority? Try to enter Gringotts after today, the Goblins will let you feel what they think about people like you."
I grinned to the three Lords: "That is another rule, never let the Villains answer, they are spouting lies anyway. Harry, spread your senses out, I bet he robbed a lot of your heirlooms, you can feel them."
Behold! The Potter Grimoire, some old tomes, and in a secret drawer, the Cloak. Harry looked at me for confirmation, I nodded, a spell later and Dumbledore's Magic was bound for 90%, just like Harry's was, the cherry on top? Locked with a parseltongue password. He turned to Snape and invaded his mind.
A minute later Harry came out and said: "You are a murderer, Snape, to get that brand you raped and killed a girl in front of that maniac, you even aided in raping and obliviating students. Most of all you betrayed my parents to Voldemort. Have fun being a Muggle, Snape."
Harry was raging mad and completely erased all the Magic from Snape, after that, he erased all memories about Magic and locked it away with a Password. He slowly turned to McGonagall and asked: "What will I find in your mind, Professor? How light or how dark are you?"
I stopped him and said: "Check them for spells first, they could be victims instead of crooks. Daphne, you are the best at that."
Daphne took her Druid skill to a new level, she is a natural healer and curse breaker. She could dispel Fawkes herself, but she needed a witness. A few diagnostic spells later she looked at them both with pity: "Go to St. Mungo's or Gringotts to get rid of those spells and potions, I am surprised that you can even think properly. The worst one is a long-time exposure to a loyalty spell keyed to Dumbledore."
Tracey was browsing through the nic nacs in the office, "Listening Charms, one, two,… seven, let's hear, ah? Professor Sinistra? Dumbledore has their offices bugged. It is a Muggle expression, Dad."
Lord Greengrass got nervous, the kids were getting out of control! There is no way this could be kept quiet.
I tried to calm his nerves: "Don't worry, Harry had the right to punish Snape, and if you send a messenger Patronus to the Aurors of the ICW, they will find Dumbledore's lover in Nurmengard."
I turned to the paintings on the wall and asked: "And here are the accomplices of Dumbledore's crimes or is being a crook a job requirement? Did it make you happy to see Dumbledore crippling British children?"
I never liked those paintings, they knew what Dumbledore was like and didn't do shit about it. With a wave of my hand they were locked in their painting, we can't have them tattle on us, can we?
Daphne looked at Tracey, who sighed and nodded, she said: "Harry, claim it, we need the leverage of the dark faction."
Harry looked at me, I said: "Go ahead, but first tell me to be your hand to destroy Voldemort, believe me, it is a technicality. Ah, Dumbledore, now you understand don't you, Harry was never supposed to be a martyr, he was meant to be a general, a leader. He is fated to lead our nation into the modern world, and you, you poor idiot, were trying to bend a prophecy to your will."
Harry said: "Dudley, take care of Voldemort for me please."
He sighed and raised his Hallow wand: "I Harry James Potter, Claim Houses Gaunt and Slytherin with all their properties and connections by Right of Conquest! So Mote It Be!"
The three Lords looked speechless when the Magic accepted the claim, the Slytherin ring appeared on Harry's finger, and an old ugly ring from the Gaunts got on Harry's finger too. Nope, not the Peverell one. I have to get that one myself.
I patted Harry's shoulder: "Tonks and Astoria will make good wives, Harry. Tracey, take Snape outside the wards and slap a portkey on him wherever you want to send him is fine."
Tracey took Snape by the arm and chuckled: "I know just the right place for him, Sevvy, do you like Penguins?" She apparated out of the building.
Lord Davis groaned, "That is supposed to be impossible, only the headmaster can do that!"
Harry said: "Tracey tapped in on the wards a week ago, she almost has the new ward setup outlined and was waiting for us to clean this mess."
He told Flitwick and McGonagall: "I will release you, you are to go to Gringotts or St. Mungo's, use the floo in the hospital wing and take that nurse along. Covering Rape cases up is a crime, a crime you both are guilty of too. Dumbledore will sit at his desk until the ICW comes for him. Leave."
I turned to Sirius and said: "Lord Black, your Elf has a Locket that he has spent years trying to destroy, let that elf tell its tale and take that locket to Gringotts. Tell them Bellatrix has one in her Vault too."
I looked at Lord Greengrass: "Order Malfoy to hand over Tom Riddle's Diary to you, if he refuses, demand his Magic and claim House Malfoy for aiding Lord Slytherin's enemies. Yes, they swore fealty to the Heir of Slytherin. Harry just became their Lord. You know better than us what to do with it. Only that Diary needs to go to Gringotts too. If you want to understand, they are Horcruxes."
Xxxxx
We have to speed it up now, we can't let the natives arrest us for attacking Dumbledore. While Harry and the girls were filling in the blanks with their Lords, I left for the seventh floor, and called for the room of hidden things, the lost and found. It took a soul-searching spell, and a few minutes later I put the Diadem in my bag.
Outside the wardline, I summoned the Knight Buss, a rough ride later I got off in Little Hangleton. My Soul search spell pointed to an empty spot next to the road, when I came closer I noticed the shack, I used Earth Magic to dig a trench to the shack, I widened the trench and got to the shack, meh, I don't need to be gentle about it, two Fiendfire Lions ate through the wood and destroyed every spell on it, the shack was gone in seconds.
A water spell dozed the cinders and an Earth Spell removed the ashes. It uncovered the box with the ring, with the strongest dispelling Charms I removed the withering curse.
The only thing left to do is to scout Riddle Manor for goodies. Some rooms were lit, and smoke was coming out of the chimney, I looked through the window and spotted an old man, Vapor is back in Albania I guess. I sensed no Snake, so I took the Knight Bus to the Leaky Cauldron.
Xxxxx
I told the guards that I had some artifacts that needed cleansing before I went in, these Naffers can be nasty if you don't warn them.
Sharpclaw examined the Horcruxes and asked: "Who is going to pay for the cleansing? Mr. Dursley?"
I shrugged: "House Potter for the ring, it is an important Heirloom from House Peverell, Harry is his last Heir. The Diadem? Frankly, I don't care, it is Goblin silver so I guess you can keep it."
Suspicious, Sharpclaw asked: "You don't want to keep the Diadem? It largely increases your intellect."
"Meh, I am smart enough on my own, if you guys can remove that Horcrux, it is yours," I said.
Giving something away that doesn't belong to you feels great! What else can I mess up… hey, I remember where the Toad lives! My fire Lions are still hungry.
A tragic fire destroyed a house, the local residents were secretly relieved that the nasty Toad was toasted, she was not well-liked in the neighborhood, which is why they called the firefighters so late. Meh.
Xxxxx
The school was closed for two weeks, The ICW Aurors collected Statue-Dumbledore and took him to Geneva. They can do legilimence on him if they want answers.
Tonks moved in at the Greengrasses for those two weeks to find out they matched. Astoria was happy with the solution. Somehow I feel the need to speed it up and prepare for departure.
Two days before we had to return to school I took Hermione aside and explained my situation.
When I was done I said: "When I move on, I don't know what stays here. It could be that a copy of me stays or I leave completely. The Game will disappear for sure."
Hermione hugged me and asked: "How long do you think have left?"
I frowned, "I don't know, days, months, it depends on how far I completed my task. Last time I got snatched away when I thought I was only halfway. The Death Eaters are still a probl… Not anymore. Harry is their Lord. Any day now, Hermione."
I looked at her and said: "There is one more girl that needs our help. Luna Lovegood. In a lot of those worlds, she is a loyal helper and friend of Harry. I want to Boost her level and give her the Eidetic Memory before I leave. Can you let Daphne invite her to stay a week with her?"
Lord Greengrass did not ask but suspected that Luna would be NR5. That night, Luna was on the Team, another Druid.
Xxxxx
At breakfast, Harry glared at me: "No more, you hear!"
I shrugged: "If Sirius ever gets someone crazy enough to marry him and have a son, you can put the three Hallows together and Claim House Peverell. Or claim it now, I bet Lavender wants a spot."
"Oh yeah? Why don't we let sweet Milli join the Team? She is pining for her strong Barbarian, isn't she? Or the Patils? Imagine Dudley, that is four of them! Who else? You need a fifth!" teased Harry.
I grinned: "I am not a Lord, Lord Slytherin-Gaunt-Potter- Black and soon to be Greengrass. I am just a lowly commoner making his first steps into the Magic World."
Lord Greengrass commented: "That can be rectified, Dudley, you see, a lot of the Lords that swore fealty to Heir Slytherin refused to obey Lord Slytherin's commands and got punished, there are some Lordships available if you are interested. I am sure Harry would grant you one or two."
WTF? Do they hand those out like candy? can they do that?
Harry smiled evilly: "Or Three or Four or Five. What do you think Dud? Do we invite Milli and the twins? They can join the Team! Hey! We can add Lavender then we have the same amount of Wives! what do you say, Dudley?" "
Luna said: "He has to hurry or all will be lost. The Layer is almost done. The punishment will be severe, the covens need to be formed. I want Dudley, Harry can have Lavender."
I looked at Hermione, she shook her head: "Luna didn't hear a word from me, she must be a Seer, Dudley. You better do it, I don't mind sharing if it is a Coven."
I sighed, "Fucking ROB will laugh his ass off, Daphne, can you call them over, we need to get this done today before I go to sleep."
My stats? Who cares.
Xxxxx
I opened my eyes in the Hogwarts Express at the station... Wtf? What happened yesterday? Hermione would never agree to that! My parents would never allow it! Luna alone would drive Dad up the wall. most of all, it felt like a dream to me.
I looked outside, a lot of the muggle kids were dressed weirdly. Like this is… why does that kid have a poster of the Rolling Stones on his trunk?
LEVEL FIVE COMPLETED SUCCESSFULLY
Wait a fucking minute! Now I get it! ROB used Luna to mess me up! This was a dream!