The battle for Enies Lobby had devolved—or evolved, depending on your perspective—into a series of isolated duels scattered throughout the labyrinthine Tower of Justice.
Outside, on the Bridge of Hesitation, the four Giants (Dory, Brogy, Oimo, and Kashii) were currently playing bowling with a squad of five hundred Marines, using a massive chunk of stone rubble as the ball.
Ben sat comfortably on Dory's shoulder, sipping a fresh cola, surrounded by a magical barrier that deflected stray bullets like rain.
"Merry," Ben tapped his earpiece. "Status report on the team."
On the deck of the Going Merry, Mini Merry sat in a high-tech captain's chair Ben had installed. She adjusted her fedora and tapped a holographic keyboard floating in front of her sunglasses.
"Yo Papa," Merry's voice crackled through, leaning fully into her 'Gangsta' persona. "The turf war is popping off. The Family has split up to handle business. We got four hits going down in the lower sectors. The 'Underbosses' are cleaning house."
"Who are they fighting?" Ben asked.
"We got Don Usopp putting the squeeze on Nero the Weasel. Queenpin Nami collecting debts from Kalifa the Soap-Lady. Princess 'The Spear' Vivi handling a dispute with Fukurou the Zipper-Mouth. And The Doctor—our heavy muscle—is taking out the trash with Kumadori the Hair-Guy," Merry reported with a swagger in her voice. "Calculating odds... Error. The odds are busted, Papa. Did you rig the game? This matchmaking is straight-up unfair for the scrubs."
Ben smirked. "I just leveled the playing field. Let me know when they win."
"Copy that. Streaming the beatdown now. Grabbing popcorn."
---
Nero, the newest member of CP9, stood on the roof of the hallway, his dual pistols drawn. He was known as the "Sea Weasel," a master of Yonshiki (Four Powers). He hadn't mastered the heavy tanking of Tekkai or the finger pistol Shigan, but his speed and agility were top-tier.
Or so he thought.
"You're the sniper, right?" Nero sneered, hopping from one rafter to another with dizzying speed. "I saw your bounty. 50 Million? 'God Usopp'? Don't make me laugh. You look like a cosplayer in a suit. I bet you can't even see me!"
Usopp stood calmly in the center of the hallway. He adjusted his sleek black sunglasses. He didn't look like the trembling coward of the East Blue. The Animal Serum coursing through his veins heightened his vision to a terrifying degree. The world slowed down for him. He could see the twitch of Nero's muscle fibers. He could count the stitches on Nero's coat even as the agent blurred through the air.
"Cosplayer?" Usopp chuckled deeply. He reached for the Transforming Bow-Rifle strapped to his back. With a mechanical click-clack, the weapon unfolded into a high-tech compound bow. "I am a Warrior of the Sea. And you... You're about to be punished."
"Die!" Nero shouted. "Soru!"
Nero vanished. He moved at blinding speed, appearing behind Usopp to fire his pistols point-blank.
BANG! BANG!
But Usopp wasn't there.
"What?!" Nero blinked.
He looked up. Usopp was clinging to the ceiling, upside down, adhering to the stone with the ease of an insect. His limbs were splayed, holding him perfectly still against gravity.
"Too slow," Usopp whispered.
He dropped from the ceiling. As he fell, his skin rippled and changed color, matching the grey stone of the walls perfectly. One second he was a man in a black suit, the next he was a blur of grey texture blending into the environment.
Nero frantically looked around, sweat beading on his forehead. "Where did he go?! He vanished! Is he a Devil Fruit user?!"
"Right here," a voice whispered in Nero's ear.
Nero spun around, terrified. Usopp materialized out of thin air, crouching right behind him, the sleek black sunglasses reflecting Nero's panic.
Usopp drew the small, double-barreled blaster Ben had given him. He pulled the trigger.
ZAP!
A concentrated bolt of electricity, shining like a miniature thunderbolt, slammed into Nero's chest.
"GYAAAAH!" Nero flew backward, smoke rising from his vest. He crashed into a pillar, sliding down.
"H-How..." Nero gasped, trying to stand, his muscles twitching. "You're... too fast... for a sniper..."
"I'm not just a sniper," Usopp twirled the gun and holstered it. He drew an arrow from his quiver. The tip glowed with a pulsating purple light. "I am the Hunter. And you stepped into my jungle."
Nero gritted his teeth. "Don't look down on CP9! Rankyaku!"
He kicked the air, sending a sharp blade of wind cutting through the hallway floor toward Usopp.
Usopp didn't dodge. He just notched the arrow calmly.
He fired. The arrow met the wind blade in mid-air. Upon impact, the arrowhead released a cloud of red energy.
POOF.
Suddenly, the arrow wasn't an arrow anymore. It was a massive, ten-ton stone weight.
The weight expanded instantly, crushing the wind blade into nothingness and continuing its momentum straight toward Nero.
"EHHHH?!" Nero looked up at the falling boulder, his eyes popping out. "THAT'S CHEATING!"
CRUNCH.
The stone pinned Nero to the floor, leaving only his head and twitching feet visible.
"Game over," Usopp tapped his headset. "Merry. Target neutralized. I didn't even break a sweat."
"GG, Uncle Usopp!" Merry's voice chirped in his ear. "That was a no-scope 360! K/D ratio infinity! You totally pwned him! Loot his wallet!"
"I don't know what that means," Usopp grinned, adjusting his shades. "But I assume it means I'm awesome."
---
In a lavishly decorated bedroom, Kalifa stood adjusting her glasses. She looked at Nami with disdain.
"Sexual harassment," Kalifa muttered, for no apparent reason.
"I didn't do anything!" Nami snapped, holding her Clima-Tact.
"You exist," Kalifa said coldly. "You are a pirate thief. And I will wash you clean."
Kalifa activated her Devil Fruit, the Awa Awa no Mi. Her body became coated in soap bubbles.
"Golden Awa!"
She rushed forward, her hands covered in a smooth, slippery coating. She aimed to touch Nami, to smooth out her curves and turn her into a slippery doll unable to stand.
"Soru!" Kalifa vanished, moving at superhuman speeds.
To a normal human, Soru is invisible. To someone with the Leopard powers, which enhances kinetic vision and reflexes to the level of an apex predator?
It was just a jog.
Nami yawned. She sidestepped lazily. Kalifa's hand swiped empty air.
"What?" Kalifa stumbled, her momentum carrying her past Nami.
Nami didn't use her weapon immediately. She simply reached out and grabbed Kalifa's wrist with one hand. Her grip was iron.
"You're fast," Nami smiled, her eyes slitted like a cat's, glowing faintly gold. "But I'm faster."
She squeezed.
"Ow!" Kalifa winced, trying to pull away. "Let go! You rude woman! How are you this strong?!"
"And one more thing," Nami grinned. "You're made of soap and water, right?"
Sparks began to dance along Nami's skin. Blue arcs of electricity jumped between her fingers. She didn't need a thunderball. Her body, modified with the Electric Eel Serum, was a living generator.
"Water conducts electricity," Nami reminded her.
"Shock Touch: 100,000 Volts!"
BZZZZZRRRRRT!
Current surged from Nami's hand directly into Kalifa's wet, soapy body.
"KYAAAAAA!" Kalifa screamed, her body seizing up. Her bubbles popped instantly. Her hair stood on end. Her glasses shattered.
She collapsed to the floor, twitching, smoke rising from her fancy dress.
Nami released her, dusting off her hands. "That was for trying to turn me into a doll. I like my curves, thank you very much."
She tapped her headset. "Merry. The soap lady is out cold. And I looted her safe while I was shocking her."
"Savage, Auntie Nami!" Merry giggled. "Loot goblin mode activated! That was a speedrun! World Record time!"
"Is there a bonus for speed?" Nami asked, eyes turning to berries.
"Uh... Papa says he'll buy you a cake?"
"Acceptable."
---
The central stairwell of the Tower was a massive, open shaft leading down into the darkness.
Hovering in the center of the void was Fukurou, the round CP9 agent. He was using Geppo to bounce off the air, looking like a demonic balloon.
"Chapapa!" Fukurou unzipped his mouth. "You cannot catch me, I am the master of aerial combat! My Geppo is silent and deadly!"
Vivi stood on the railing of the walkway, looking down at him. She adjusted her suit jacket.
SHING.
From her back, beneath the tailored suit, two magnificent, golden-brown wings burst forth. They spanned three meters, powerful and majestic. The feathers gleamed like metal in the dim light.
She dove off the railing.
Vivi tucked her wings and entered a stoop dive, reaching terminal velocity in seconds. The wind roared around her.
"Rankyaku!" Fukurou kicked a volley of air blades at her.
Vivi twirled her Vibranium Spear. She slammed the butt of the spear into the air in front of her.
A blue hexagonal shield erupted from the spear tip. The air blades shattered against it harmlessly.
"Impossible!" Fukurou yelled. "She blocked it!"
Vivi burst through the smoke of the explosion. She was right on top of him.
She thrust the spear forward. The tip emitted a high-frequency sonic blast.
SCREEEEEEE!
"GAH! MY EARS!" Fukurou grabbed his head, his Geppo faltering. He lost his rhythm and started to fall.
"You talk too much," Vivi said coldly.
She banked in the air, her Eagle eyes locking onto his falling form. She accelerated, spiraling like a drill.
She slammed the blunt end of the spear into Fukurou's round stomach.
The Vibranium absorbed the kinetic energy of her dive and released it instantly upon impact.
BOOOM!
The shockwave echoed through the entire tower.
Fukurou was launched straight down. He crashed through one floor. Then another. Then a third. He finally embedded himself in the stone foundation of the basement, his zipper mouth permanently stuck open in a silent scream.
Vivi flared her wings, slowing her descent and landing gracefully on a railing. She retracted the wings, smoothing her violet shirt.
"Target neutralized," Vivi said into her bead.
"YOOOOO!" Merry shouted in her ear. "That was an aerial takedown! Top Gun status! You dunked on him! The disrespect! Fukurou has disconnected from the server!"
"He was very loud," Vivi noted politely. "I just quieted him down."
---
In a room decorated like a traditional Japanese theater, Kumadori stood with his long pink hair flowing wildly around him.
"YOYOI!" Kumadori shouted, striking a dramatic pose. "I am Kumadori! Master of Life Return! My hair is a weapon! It can grasp! It can strangle! It can kill!"
His hair shot forward like tentacles, aiming to wrap around Chopper.
Chopper, in his small Brain Point form wearing his tailored black suit, stood his ground. He wore the sleek Shuri Gauntlets on his hooves.
"Hair?" Chopper asked. "That's not very sanitary."
The hair tentacles struck.
Chopper raised his gauntlets.
THUD. THUD. THUD.
The hair hit the metal gauntlets. But instead of pushing Chopper back, the gauntlets glowed purple. They absorbed the kinetic energy of every strike.
"What is this magic?!" Kumadori gasped. "My hair attacks are being... eaten?!"
"It's science!" Chopper yelled. "And physics! Kinetic Release!"
He punched the air. A shockwave of purple energy blasted from the gauntlets, shredding the hair tentacles and knocking Kumadori back.
"IMPOSSIBLE!" Kumadori shrieked. "Then I shall use my ultimate technique! Shigan Cue!"
He grabbed his staff and charged, aiming to pierce Chopper's heart.
Chopper sighed. "I don't need a Rumble Ball for this anymore. Ben helped me fix my wavelength."
Chopper closed his eyes. He focused. He didn't pop a pill. He just willed it.
Monster Point.
VOOOM.
Chopper's body exploded in size. But unlike before, where his eyes would turn white and he would become a mindless beast, this transformation was different.
His fur grew thick and dark. He towered over the room, easily twenty feet tall. His muscles bulged.
But his eyes... his eyes remained clear. Intelligent. Blue.
Kumadori stopped his charge. He looked up at the behemoth.
"Y-Yoyoi?" Kumadori squeaked.
Chopper looked down at his massive hands. He flexed his fingers.
"I'm in control," Chopper's voice was deep, rumbling like an earthquake. "I'm big. And I'm a doctor. But right now..."
Chopper clenched his fist. The Shuri Gauntlets, designed by Ben to expand with him, glowed with stored energy.
"...I'm going to prescribe a nap."
Kumadori tried to stab him. The staff broke against Chopper's chest.
Chopper raised one massive hand.
"Kokutei: Palm!"
He slapped Kumadori.
It wasn't a technique. It was just a giant hand swatting a fly.
CRACK.
Kumadori flew through the wall. Then through the next wall. Then through the outer wall of the Tower of Justice. He sailed over the ocean, disappearing into the horizon like a twinkling star.
Chopper exhaled steam. He shrunk back down to his small Brain Point form, adjusting his tie.
"Target neutralized," Chopper said into his bead.
"OH MY GOD!" Merry screamed. "One-Hit KO! That was a Boss Raid solo! Chopper is OP! Nerf him! Nerf him now!"
"Don't nerf me!" Chopper yelled back. "I just got buffed!"
---
On the Going Merry, Mini Merry spun in her chair.
"Papa! Papa! Did you see that?!" Merry cheered. "Quadruple Kill! The Support Team just wiped the floor with the assassins! No damage taken! Full HP! This is a speedrun!"
On the bridge, Ben laughed, deflecting a stray bazooka shell with a lazy wave of his wand.
"I told you, Merry," Ben said. "They aren't weak. They're specialists. And with the right gear, specialists become nightmares."
"Updating objective," Merry's eyes flashed. "Remaining targets: Jabra, Kaku, and Lucci. The Monster Trio is moving to engage. But honestly, Papa... at this rate, do they even need to fight? We could probably just have Chopper slap them all."
"Let them have their fun," Ben grinned.
"Roger that! Loading: 'Victory Fanfare'!"