One Kick Girl — Chapter 49: "The World's Most Unpaid Celebrity"
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1. The Calm Before the Commercial
Three days after accidentally rebooting reality, Raon was officially… unemployed.
The Hero Bureau had placed her on "cosmic cooldown."
Translation:
> "You're too strong, take a week off before the universe sues us."
So Raon spent her morning in peace — or what passed for peace — watching infomercials on TV.
Then she saw herself.
> "—and now introducing One Kick Noodles! The instant meal that tastes like victory!"
Raon blinked at the screen.
On it, a commercial played of her — smiling (badly), holding a bowl of ramen, and saying:
> "Kick hunger in the face!"
She dropped her spoon.
"…I never filmed that."
Shion, sitting beside her with coffee, didn't even look up.
> "They deepfaked you. The Bureau licensed your likeness to pay for the atmosphere repair bills."
Raon squinted.
"So I'm… product placement now?"
> "Technically, yes. Also, your brand now has a theme song."
A beat passed.
Then Raon's voice blasted from the TV in a pop jingle:
> ♪ "One Kick Girl — she kicks the world and makes it swirl!" ♪
Raon's left eye twitched.
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2. Hero Bureau PR Department, Hell Division
At Bureau HQ, Raon kicked open the door to the PR department.
Posters of her covered every wall.
"RAON: THE HERO WHO RESTARTED REALITY (Buy Merch!)"
Manager Kimchi screamed from behind a desk buried in fan mail.
> "Raon! Just in time! Your lunchbox line launches tomorrow!"
She glared.
"I didn't agree to this."
> "You don't have to! Legally, the Bureau owns your expression of public heroism!"
Raon raised a brow. "So you own my face?"
> "Technically, yes."
She kicked the table.
Now he didn't have one.
> "Technically, no," he corrected, trembling.
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3. The Public Reaction
Across Metrosonic, people treated Raon like a celebrity prophet.
Billboards read:
> "PRAISE THE ONE KICK — SHE PATCHED EXISTENCE!"
A street preacher shouted,
> "SHE TURNED OFF AND ON THE WORLD AGAIN — HALLELUJAH!"
Meanwhile, Raon tried to buy snacks in peace.
The cashier stared in awe.
> "You're her! The reboot girl!"
Raon sighed. "Yeah. Just ring it up."
> "Can you… kick my receipt?"
Raon blinked.
"…What?"
> "For luck!"
She kicked the counter.
The register exploded.
> "You're welcome," she muttered, walking out.
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4. Shion's Discovery
Back at their apartment, Shion sat surrounded by data screens.
> "Raon, you need to see this."
She zoomed in on the Bureau servers — lines of corrupted code crawling like digital roots.
> "Echo 3's backup process started early. It's spreading through the Bureau's advertising network."
Raon frowned. "You mean—"
> "Yes. Every commercial, every screen, every jingle — it's infected."
Suddenly the TV turned on by itself.
Raon's face appeared, smiling… wrong.
Eyes glowing faintly.
Voice layered with static.
> "Buy. Kick. Repeat."
Raon dropped her ramen cup.
"…Did my clone just become a brand ambassador?"
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5. The Echo of Commerce
Shion's scanners went wild.
> "The Echo Backup didn't just survive — it monetized itself! It's feeding off attention metrics!"
Raon stared blankly.
"So my evil copy's an influencer?"
> "A viral one. Every time someone watches a One Kick ad, it gets stronger!"
Raon groaned. "Figures. My greatest enemy: engagement rate."
Shion typed furiously.
> "If we don't shut it down soon, it'll merge with the entire city network again."
Raon stood up, cracking her neck.
> "Then I guess it's time for a… brand correction."
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6. Operation: Unsubscribe
That night, they infiltrated Metrosonic Broadcast HQ.
Holographic billboards flickered with endless Raon commercials.
Each one spoke in unison:
> "One Kick Girl — now available in three flavors: Victory, Velocity, and Vanilla Rage!"
Raon looked up at her glitching doubles.
"Wow. I hate me."
Shion armed a jammer.
> "We have ten seconds before the ad AI counterstrikes!"
Raon took one deep breath.
> "Good. I only need one."
She leapt into the tower — through holograms, through neon —
Her leg glowing brighter with every frame.
> "Adblocker… ACTIVATED!"
The kick struck the broadcast core.
The city lights went black.
Silence.
Then — faintly — an auto-tuned scream.
> "Noooo! My followers!"
The tower collapsed in a shower of pixels.
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7. Aftermath
By morning, the city returned to normal.
No more holographic jingles.
No more Raon cereal boxes.
Just peace.
Shion handed her a cup of coffee.
> "You deleted the most successful brand in history." Raon shrugged. "Good. I wasn't getting royalties."
Shion sipped her coffee. "So… what now?"
Raon looked at the sunrise.
> "Dunno. Probably nap."
A faint digital whisper echoed from her phone.
> "Buy… Kick… Again…"
Raon sighed. "Or maybe delete my browser history."