1. Morning Disaster: Headlines Hit Like Meteors
Shion woke up to the sound of Raon screaming.
Not the fighting a monster scream.
Not the stepped on a LEGO scream.
Not even the Shion hid my snacks again scream.
No.
This was the WHAT IN THE COSMIC TAPIOCA IS THIS!? scream.
Shion bolted out of her room and found Raon standing in the kitchen, clutching her phone like it had personally betrayed her.
"Shion," Raon trembled, "why am I on every news channel… kicking the sun?"
Shion blinked, rubbed her eyes, took the phone—
And saw it.
Front page. Everywhere.
BREAKING NEWS:
ONE KICK GIRL ATTEMPTS TO DESTROY THE SUN — IS EARTH SAFE?
Accompanied by the photo the director took yesterday:
Raon mid-air
green screen bits still visible
sparkler smoke
her hair VERY on fire
and the sun extremely photoshopped in the background
Raon whispered in horror:
"I LOOK LIKE I'M FIGHTING DAYLIGHT ITSELF."
Shion nodded solemnly.
"…Yes."
---
2. The Internet Reacts Horribly, Predictably
Shion scrolled.
It got worse.
#RAONHATESDAYTIME — trending No.1
#ONESUNKICKGIRL — trending No.2
#PROTECTTHESUN — trending No.3
"bro she's gonna roundhouse the moon next" — 800k retweets
Shion kept scrolling.
Fan art.
Memes.
A six-hour breakdown video.
A conspiracy thread claiming Raon was trying to eliminate circadian rhythms for world domination.
Raon grabbed Shion's shoulders.
"Fix it."
"I can't fix the internet."
"Shion. Fix. It."
---
3. Bureau HQ: Panic in Every Direction
They arrived at the Bureau.
Every agent, intern, and janitor stared at Raon like she was a ticking star-exploding bomb.
Manager Kimchi burst out of his office.
"RAON! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?"
Raon looked down.
"…Kicked stuff?"
"YOU KICKED THE SUN!"
Raon pointed at Shion. "Actually the director—"
Shion pushed her hand down. "Not today, Raon."
Kimchi dragged them into the meeting room.
"Because of you, the city is in chaos! Look!"
He turned on the giant monitor.
There was a live broadcast:
A protest. A huge one.
Hundreds of people marching.
Signs included:
"DON'T TOUCH OUR SUN"
"KEEP OUR STAR SAFE"
"ONE KICK? MORE LIKE ONE THREAT"
"NO MORE ROUNDHOUSE ECLIPSES"
A drawing of Raon with devil horns kicking planets
An actual papier-mâché sun crying
Raon stared.
"…They really think I can kick a star?"
Kimchi shouted, "YOU CAN!"
Raon: "Oh. Right."
---
4. Yuno Gives the Worst PR Advice of All Time
Yuno burst in—sparkling, dramatic, dangerous.
"RAON! I saw the trending tags!"
She pointed a glittery pen.
"You need to lean into it!"
Shion blinked. "…Sorry?"
Yuno grinned.
"The world fears you?
GOOD.
We make it fashion."
Raon frowned. "What."
"New brand collab: One Kick Girl vs. The Sun."
She drew a mock-up on her hologram pad:
Raon's silhouette
The sun with angry eyebrows
Tagline: "Too Bright? Kick It."
Shion threw a pillow at her.
"YUNO THIS IS LITERALLY MAKING IT WORSE."
---
5. Maestro Dome Has an Idea (It's Bad)
Maestro Dome floated in, arms crossed.
"I have the perfect solution."
Kimchi groaned. "Please no."
"We hold a PRESS CONFERENCE."
Raon's blood went cold.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
Shion whispered, "Raon… it might actually help."
Raon clutched her chest dramatically.
"I would rather fight Synthra and Echo 3 at the SAME TIME than talk to a room full of reporters."
Shion patted her head.
"I know. But you must."
Raon stared at the floor for a full ten seconds.
"…Can I kick at least one reporter?"
"No."
---
6. The Press Conference From Hell Begins
The auditorium was full.
Cameras everywhere.
Flashes.
Microphones.
Reporters sharpening their verbal weapons.
Raon sat at a table with Shion, Kimchi, and Yuno.
A reporter raised her hand immediately.
"Raon! Do you plan to attack any OTHER celestial bodies?"
Raon choked.
"N-No! I wasn't trying to attack anything!"
Another reporter:
"Can you PLEASE confirm whether you support or oppose daylight?"
Shion slammed her fist on the table.
"O–OF COURSE SHE SUPPORTS DAYLIGHT! HOW IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION—"
Another reporter stood up holding a diagram.
"This chart shows the angle of your kick could have led to Earth cooling by 0.0001%. Will you apologize to climate scientists?"
Raon panicked.
"…I'm sorry???"
The room exploded in questions.
"ARE YOU AT WAR WITH THE SUN?"
"CAN YOU REALLY DESTROY THE PLANETS?"
"IS IT TRUE YOU KICK TOASTER OVENS WHEN YOU'RE MAD?"
"WHAT IS YOUR STANCE ON MOON RIGHTS?"
"SHOW US YOUR KICK—NO WAIT DON'T—SECURITY!"
Shion held Raon's hand under the table to keep her from instinctively kicking something.
---
7. Disaster Peaks (and a Drone Attacks)
Just when tensions peaked—
A rogue drone camera swooped in.
Shion recognized it instantly.
"…That's the director's drone."
Indeed:
It played his pre-recorded voice through the speakers:
"RAONNNNNN~! HONEY! SHOW THEM THE SUN-KICK POSE!"
The drone turned its spotlight onto Raon.
Raon snapped.
"Oh no."
"Oh no," Shion echoed.
Raon leaped up.
KICK.
The drone exploded in confetti.
The reporters screamed.
Some took cover.
Some took pictures.
One yelled: "SHE'S ATTACKING THE MEDIA!"
Shion facepalmed so hard her soul left her body.
---
8. The Only Way Out Is the Raon Way Out
Chaos erupted.
Reporters panicking.
Kimchi yelling.
Yuno LIVE-STREAMING because of course she did.
Raon grabbed Shion bridal-style.
"We're leaving."
"Raon—no—don't jump—RAON—"
Raon jumped through a window.
Not breaking it.
Just phasing through it via sheer velocity.
They flew out, soared over the plaza, landed on a rooftop.
Shion clung to her.
"…You are SO banned from press events."
Raon gently set her down.
"…Did we make things worse?" she asked quietly.
Shion gave her a small, exhausted smile.
"Yes," she said honestly.
"But in your own Raon way."
Raon scratched her cheek.
"…Oops?"
Shion leaned against her.
"It's okay. We'll fix it tomorrow."
Raon nodded.
"…Snacks?"
"Yes. Definitely snacks."
---
END OF CHAPTER 69