1. Welcome to the Firing Squad (But With Paperwork)
Lord Bureaucrat Xian didn't sit.
He loomed, like a tax auditor who had transcended humanity.
His robes were slate-gray, embroidered with tiny images of folders.
His aura smelled like printer ink and disappointment.
He laced his fingers together.
"Raon," he said.
Raon smiled like a child starting a food fight.
"Hi."
Shion dragged her palm down her face.
Xian spoke slowly, as if every word physically hurt him.
"You shattered three Bureau sound stages."
Raon shrugged.
"They started it."
"You destabilized a licensed sonic combatant."
"She deserved it."
"You interrupted an interdimensional livestream watched by forty million viewers."
Raon blinked.
"…That one wasn't my fault."
Xian raised a brow.
"Your boot was clearly visible in the thumbnails."
Raon's brain stalled.
"…Oh."
Shion whispered, deadpan:
> "I warned you the drones were filming."
---
2. The PowerPoint of Doom
Xian snapped his fingers.
Holographic screens exploded into existence all around us.
Statistics.
Charts.
Graphs.
Legal violations scrolling like bullet hell.
Yuno leaned in, fascinated.
"Ooh! Engagement metrics!"
Xian glared.
"These are incidents."
Yuno smiled wider.
"Yes. Engagement."
A vein pulsed in Xian's forehead.
"Ms. Pulse, if you speak again I will revoke your bandwidth allocation for the next quarter."
Yuno gasped like he threatened her life.
Shion whispered to me:
> "He just told her he'd unplug her soul."
---
3. The Worst Punishment
Xian swiped, revealing one final slide titled:
> MANDATORY COMPLIANCE TRAINING
Raon recoiled.
"No."
Xian nodded with bureaucratic cruelty.
"Yes."
"I'd rather fight a cosmic whale."
"You will watch twelve hours of instructional footage."
Shion inhaled.
"Raon can't sit still for twelve minutes—"
Xian continued.
"No skipping.
No fast-forwarding.
No snacks."
Raon screamed.
"THAT'S TORTURE."
---
4. Dome, the Traitor
Maestro Dome stepped from behind Xian—calm, smug, beanbag-scented.
"I have prepared her mental conditioning."
Raon pointed at him like he was a snake in human clothing.
"You set me up!"
Dome bowed.
"Therapy is a journey."
"You're a journey into a padded cell!"
He smiled serenely.
Shion leaned over.
> "Raon… he's immune to shame."
Raon hissed.
> "So am I."
---
5. The Worst Sentence Get Even Worse
Xian closed the holograms.
"However," he said, eyes icy, "there is an alternative penalty."
Raon perked up.
"Punching contest?"
"No."
"Kick duel?"
"No."
"Trial by mortal combat?"
"…No."
He placed a folder on the table.
Project: Public Rehabilitation
Raon squinted.
"What does that mean?"
Shion went pale.
"Oh no."
Xian smirked like a man about to ruin a civilization.
"You will undergo supervised community outreach."
Raon blinked.
"…Like I talk to people?"
"You will speak at schools," he continued, "about discipline, restraint, and civic responsibility."
Raon opened her mouth.
Nothing came out.
The universe blinked.
Shion whispered:
> "They're sending you to children."
---
6. Raon's Personal Apocalypse
Raon slammed both palms on the table.
"You can't put me in front of minors! I'm a bad influence!"
Xian nodded.
"Yes."
"That's a TERRIBLE idea!"
"Yes."
"I will literally teach them how to high-kick vending machines!"
"Yes."
Raon trembled.
"…You're a monster."
Xian leaned back.
"Correct."
---
7. Shion, Voice of Survival
I stepped forward.
"Lord Xian, with respect, Raon is irresponsible, impulsive, and has the attention span of a dying moth."
Raon narrowed her eyes.
"Hey— rude— accurate but rude."
I continued.
"There has to be another solution."
Xian flipped the folder open.
"There is."
He slid a contract toward me.
Shion: signing authority.
Raon: mentorship subject.
Yuno: content oversight.
Manager Kimchi: monetization liaison.
And at the bottom—
Supervisory chaperone: Shion Korr
Raon gasped.
Shion whispered:
> "They're chaining me to you like a nuclear device."
Xian spoke like a priest closing a coffin.
"She cannot be allowed unsupervised in society."
---
8. Raon Makes a Final Stand
Raon stood.
Hands clenched.
Jaw tight.
The air vibrated.
A kick was coming.
I recognized the signs.
Xian recognized them too.
He raised a single finger.
"If you kick anything," he said,
"I will assign you to paperwork."
Raon froze.
The leg sagged.
Paperwork.
The kryptonite.
The ancient curse.
She collapsed into the chair.
"…I'll talk to the kids."
Xian nodded.
"Wise."
---
9. Official Conclusion
He handed me a bag of Bureau-standard anti-stress gummies.
"You will need these."
Raon squinted.
"For… the students?"
"No," Xian replied.
"For yourself."
Yuno was already drafting thumbnails.
Manager Kimchi was crying into the folder.
Maestro Dome bowed like a monk who just witnessed enlightenment.
And me?
I stared at Raon.
The living disaster.
The unstoppable leg.
The girl who could kick light, sound, and reason.
I sighed.
"…We're going to prison."
Raon smiled.
"Only if I kick the principal!"
I inhaled sharply.
"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A PLAN—"