One Kick Girl — Chapter 87: "Shion's Anti-Raon Containment Plan"
POV: Shion (Internal screaming provided for realism)
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1. Emergency Meeting
I had two migraines, one lawsuit warning, and forty-three unread texts from Director Kimchi.
In response, I called a meeting.
Not a "friendly brainstorm," not a "team huddle," but a containment briefing.
The kind usually reserved for biohazard outbreaks.
The boardroom was small, dim, and filled with laminated warning signs that Raon had personally caused.
Raon sat across from me, swinging her leg—the glowing, sentient one—like she was on a playground swing.
Echo-Leg pulsed happily.
> i like meetings
"No you don't," I said. "You like destruction with paperwork afterward."
> same thing
I inhaled deeply. I regretted it immediately.
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2. The Participants
To my left:
Maestro Dome, therapy monk-turned-chaos influence.
To my right:
DJ Bloop, glitch demon, now wearing earbuds that kept sliding off their non-existent ears.
Floating above the table like a screensaver nobody asked for.
Across the room:
a Bureau intern with trauma in their eyes, ready to take minutes.
I stood and clapped once.
"Thank you for coming to the first official session of—"
I clicked the projector.
"PROJECT: DO NOT LET RAON HURT THE WORLD."
Raon tilted her head.
"I don't hurt the world. I kick it lovingly."
The intern whispered: "Ma'am, that's… worse."
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3. Presentation Slide 1 — The Problem
Slide appeared:
PICTURE OF RAON KICKING THINGS SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE KICKED
Bureau elevator (exploded)
Echo-chan resonance core (absorbed)
Therapy disco sun (obliterated)
Subway vending machine (still recovering)
Dome nodded philosophically. "These were acts of cosmic catharsis."
Bloop burbled glitch-static.
> she is vessel. loop-breaker. goddess of impact.
Raon puffed her chest. "I like them."
I stared at all three like they were stray cats on fire.
"The Bureau does NOT."
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4. Slide 2 — Proposed Solutions
I clicked again.
A) Physical restraints
B) Psychological conditioning
C) Leg exorcism
Raon slowly raised her hand.
"You wrote 'exorcism' in rainbow font."
"It's called visual prioritization," I replied.
Echo-Leg chimed.
> my soul is comfortable here. no eviction.
I tapped my pen against the table.
"You aren't supposed to HAVE a soul."
> cry more
I inhaled. I exhaled. I walked a tightrope of sanity and homicide.
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5. Dome's Intervention
Dome slid forward in his chair, serene as ever. "Perhaps we must let the golden leg find itself."
"No," I said. "This is a containment plan, not a spiritual awakening."
Raon nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, Dome. I already awakened. I'm like, level 78."
"You're level hazard," I corrected.
Bloop did a slow vertical spin.
> upgrade available.
I pointed at Bloop. "DO NOT UPGRADE ANYTHING."
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6. Slide 3 — Anti-Raon Zones
I clicked again.
A map of the city appeared.
Highlighted areas labeled:
SAFE
DO NOT ALLOW RAON
ABSOLUTELY NEVER LET RAON
Raon squinted.
"Why am I banned from parks?"
I rubbed my temples.
"You kicked a merry-go-round so hard it became a centrifugal weapon."
"It was taunting me!"
"It was spinning."
"EXACTLY."
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7. Slide 4 — Behavioral Rewards
I cleared my throat.
"If Raon refrains from kicking for 7 days, she will be granted a reward."
Raon perked up. "Snacks?"
"No."
"Limited edition idol poster?"
"No."
"Shion hug?"
I froze.
"…Maybe."
Echo-Leg glowed like a supernova.
> we will attempt compliance.
Raon threw her arms up.
"YES! I WILL BE GOOD."
Everything was quiet.
Then Dome spoke.
"Sincerity. Noble. Let the journey begin."
Bloop rotated 360 degrees.
> failure probability 99.8%.
The intern asked: "Why not just… break the leg off?"
Raon and I both turned to stare at them.
The air got cold.
Echo-Leg whispered:
> bold. suicidal.
The intern silently packed their notebook and left.
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8. Deployment
I handed Raon a cute pink wristband.
"This detects resonance spikes. If you hit dangerous output, it shocks you."
Raon blinked. "…Is it cute pain?"
"Yes."
She nodded with pride.
"I will achieve inner balance."
Echo-Leg fluttered.
> we will not.
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9. Immediate Failure
We left the boardroom.
Raon took exactly four steps into the hallway.
Her wristband beeped.
A janitor's floor buffer hummed aggressively in the corner.
Raon whispered:
"It's provoking me."
"No," I said calmly.
"It's cleaning."
Echo-Leg vibrated:
> enemy unit. audio rotation.
I dove.
Raon kicked.
Everything exploded.
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10. Conclusion
The hallway smoked. Alarms rang. Raon coughed.
"…That floor buffer learned its lesson."
I rubbed my eyes with the precision of someone erasing memories.
Project notes fell from my hand.
Dome smiled serenely.
"Progress."
Bloop whispered:
> loop continues.
I stared at Raon.
"Tomorrow… we try again."
Raon saluted.
"I will not kick tomorrow."
Echo-Leg chimed:
> lies.
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END OF CHAPTER 87