The moment I stepped outside the walls of Uruk, my heart brimming with excitement,
I almost lost consciousness at the devastating sight that unfolded before my eyes.
"You're late! And I'm sure I told you to come with Gilgamesh!"
A brash tone. A personality as rotten as her cute appearance was charming.
The goddess Ishtar.
She was, in real time, destroying the hills surrounding Uruk.
What a terrible fit of hysterics.
If they were just empty sand dunes, it might have been different, but seeing her mercilessly destroy even the lush forests made my fists clench automatically.
My ambitious five-year forest restoration plan...!
No, wait. I'm free now, aren't I?
I'm free from the goddess's hysterics, too. I am a completely free man.
There was no need to be angry.
I put on a false smile and said to Ishtar.
"...I apologize, but I know nothing. Siduri should be out shortly, so please ask her."
"Siduri? My Siduri told me to ask you."
"What kind of bullsh— Ahaha. No, never mind. Please wait just a moment."
It didn't take long.
It was Gilgamesh's trap.
She already knew that Ishtar was causing a ruckus in front of Uruk.
That's why she didn't need to put any restraints on me when she sent me out.
Because she knew perfectly well that Ishtar knew my face and that I'd be caught the moment I stepped out.
No wonder. I thought it was strange for the prudent Gilgamesh to let me go so easily.
"Hey! Can't you hear me? Answer!"
"I apologize, O Goddess. I seem to have lost my mind for a moment."
"A human going senile already? You're only twelve at most!"
"I am ten."
Spectacularly wrong. Not that I expected anything.
Ishtar shouted shamelessly and confidently.
"Same difference!"
"Yes. I agree as well."
Though I was agreeing with the sentiment that I wanted to smash the flying ship she was riding right now.
But my opponent was a goddess. The Goddess of the Heavens.
If Gilgamesh were to help, it might be a different story, but I couldn't face her alone.
I, in my weakened state, was just a poor soul who had to do as I was told.
"What brings you here today...?"
"I came to marry Gilgamesh. If you understand, then tell her to come out. Or I'll go find her myself."
I held up both my arms to stop her.
Uruk is a nation that worships Ishtar, but there has never been a single time when Ishtar's visit to Uruk was a good thing.
During the last festival, she recklessly descended, saying she wanted to eat, and ended up destroying 50% of the ziggurat before she left.
The memory of her arguing that she had done nothing wrong is still vivid in my mind.
"Please wait a moment. If the Goddess were to suddenly descend upon Uruk, the humble citizens would be alarmed."
"I'm a goddess! Isn't it common sense to be prepared to welcome me at any time?"
Grind. I clenched my molars.
When you think about it, Ishtar's words were plausible.
Just look at the other city-states besides Uruk; they all keep offerings prepared for the gods they worship.
But Uruk was an exception.
This goddess. She demands an absurd amount of offerings.
As if she has a beggar in her stomach, she demands a hundred tables of food she can't even eat,
various treasures, spices, and even iron tools she'll never use.
And when you prepare and offer all that, she doesn't even take it all; she just picks out the treasures.
Then does she return what's left? No, she doesn't do that either.
'It's my offering, so I'll do as I please,' she says, and burns it all.
She's a crazy goddess.
If this woman were to descend even once a year, Uruk's economy would be on the verge of collapse.
I couldn't stand by and watch the Uruk I had worked so hard for to gain my freedom be ruined because of a goddess.
I oiled my tongue and put on a fake smile.
"Hahaha. Of course, offerings for the Goddess are always prepared."
"Then there's no problem, is there."
"However... are you certain you will be satisfied?"
I lowered my voice and set the mood.
I had successfully captured the attention of the wicked but naive Goddess Ishtar.
"Can you truly be satisfied receiving offerings of such poor quality?"
"Why would they be poor quality! I bestow my blessings every year!"
"Problems arise in areas untouched by the Goddess's blessing. For example, shall we look at that mountain? The one the Goddess just destroyed?"
I pointed to the mountain with a gaping, circular hole in it.
"What about that mountain!"
"We were planning to use the cedar from that mountain for the reconstruction of the ziggurat. As Ishtar is the Mistress of the Heavens, we wanted to prepare an altar befitting her reputation."
Ishtar, thinking I was praising her, beamed.
And here, I brought the hammer down.
"But now, that is impossible. Because the Goddess has destroyed the mountain. The sturdy timber, the minerals buried beneath the mountain, will now never see the light of day. Because of the Goddess."
"Wh... what. Are you saying this is my fault?!"
It is your fault. But saying so is what amateurs do.
Because this goddess has the mindset of 'I am never at fault. Therefore, those who blame me are the bad guys'.
It's important to be subtle.
"No. Of course it is not the Goddess's fault. In this case, it is the fault of King Gilgamesh, who has displeased the Goddess."
"That's right! This is all Gilgamesh's fault!"
"But I am concerned. I fear what might happen if King Gilgamesh, tormented by this incident, were to step down from the throne."
"She can just marry me, so it doesn't matter!"
I explained a little more kindly for our foolish goddess.
"If the Mistress of the Heavens were to oppress the king and country that so fervently worshiped her, eventually leading to their destruction, would that not be a great stain on the Goddess's authority?"
"Is... is that so?"
"Uruk, having lost its leader, will collapse, and other nations, hearing the news of Uruk, will no longer wish to worship the Goddess."
It wouldn't go that far.
It's true that Gilgamesh is a genius beyond compare, but that's because Gilgamesh is an anomaly.
Uruk also has Siduri, and there are many who could do a decent job as king.
They are simply lacking in comparison to Gilgamesh.
As for other nations ceasing to worship the Goddess Ishtar... that might happen.
However, a god is a god. A being that bestows immense blessings upon those who worship them.
Even if it's not Uruk, a newly formed nation will surely come to worship her.
But this foolish goddess's thoughts don't reach that far.
"I don't want that! Worship me! Why wouldn't they worship me?!"
"Please calm yourself. This is all merely hypothetical. It has not happened yet... but it is a highly probable story."
The goddess was staring at me intently.
She was completely engrossed in my story.
"The way to prevent this tragic story is surprisingly simple."
"...What is it?"
"The Goddess must return to the heavens and bestow even greater blessings upon Uruk."
"And that will solve it? Will Gilgamesh marry me too?"
"Of course. King Gilgamesh is unable to see the Goddess because she is worried about Uruk. If she is given time, she will reflect upon herself and fall head over heels for the Goddess."
Ishtar felt that something was strange, but she wasn't wise enough to break through this logic.
After a few moments of deliberation, she finally followed my words.
"Alright. I just have to give my blessings, right?"
"Blessings and time. Time for Uruk to prosper."
"How many years will it take? I hate waiting for a long time!"
There's no need to hesitate here. I have to go for it all at once.
"Fifty years should be sufficient."
"Fifty years? Hmph... fifty years is too long! I don't like an old Gilgamesh; she's unattractive!"
In fifty years, her youth will be long gone. She'll be a person waiting for the day she dies.
But Gilgamesh is not an ordinary human.
I wish she would think for a moment!
"Two-thirds of Gilgamesh is divine. The lifespan of a demigod is very long. I can assure you, in fifty years, Gilgamesh will have become a woman most perfect to be the Goddess's wife."
"Really?"
"Yes. Just imagine it. The beautifully grown Gilgamesh."
The goddess even drooled as she lost herself in her delusion.
I wasn't curious about what kind of gloomy and dirty fantasies she was having.
I just wanted this woman to get lost, quickly.
This demon who suppresses my freedom...!
"Alright. I'll bless you. I'll be back in forty years! Gilgamesh is ten now, so that makes fifty, right? Don't complain!"
"Haha. You are truly, exceptionally skilled at mathematics. Very well. The king will not refuse those terms."
Gilgamesh's opinion? I don't know.
Tell her to find a doctor at the hospital.
A smile naturally formed on my face.
Freedom. Freedom. FREEDOM.
But the goddess, on her way back to the heavens, descended once more.
I'm getting nervous. Why did she come back?
"...What is it?"
"Come to think of it, Gilgamesh might just pretend not to know in forty years!"
That's true. Gilgamesh would probably rather die and be reborn than marry Ishtar.
That's just how the world works.
So even a fool like you understands. Good girl, Ishtar.
"So I must leave proof. I, Ishtar, as the representative of the august gods of the heavens, hereby establish a new covenant."
"...Pardon?"
"If Gilgamesh breaks this promise in forty years, I will take the life of the human before me in her stead, and I will bring down upon Uruk a disaster that will not cease for eighty years."
Wait. Why my life?
"That is all. You may return."
Excuse me?
"You son of a...!"
A sudden forty-year time attack torments me...?!"