"I have returned."
Morgan had returned.
She, who hadn't returned on the first night, stayed out through the second, finally coming back home around dawn the next day.
Not through the first-floor entrance, but through the third-floor window.
"You surprised me. Why did you come through the window instead of using the door?"
"Because it was a matter of great urgency. More importantly, look at me."
I did as Morgan said and looked at her.
A black crown. A black dress. A long spear. She looked exactly as she had before she left.
The only difference, perhaps, was that her veil was gone. Nothing else felt out of place.
"What is it?"
"Don't I seem different?"
She didn't seem to be talking about the veil. I wondered if the change was internal rather than external, but that too was unclear.
For now, the mana path was connected normally.
Morgan's current condition was perfect. As always.
The reason I hadn't worried, even though she was gone for two days, was precisely because of the mana path.
No matter what she did, she would never be in danger.
It even crossed my mind that Morgan could probably wage a war against the entire world.
"I don't know. Taking off the veil suits you well. You're very beautiful."
"...Ahem. I see. It is not the answer I was expecting, but that makes it all the better. I commend you."
Morgan reached her hand into the air. Before I knew it, a small shopping bag appeared in her hand.
"Clothes?"
"Yes. I purchased them because I thought they would suit you very well."
"Thanks. I'll wear them well."
It wasn't unusual for Morgan to give me a gift. I accepted it readily and looked inside the shopping bag.
Inside was a formal suit.
It was an all-black suit. With even the dress shirt and tie in shades of dark gray and black, I thought it would be a very difficult outfit to pull off.
It was a rather unfamiliar outfit. A suit, of all things.
"This is rare. You never bought clothes like this because I said I didn't like them."
"My husband. There are times when one cannot only do as one pleases. You understand, don't you?"
I could see in Morgan a determination to make me wear these clothes, no matter what.
Faced with her enthusiasm, I threw up my hands in surrender.
If she wants to see it, I might as well show her. After all, Morgan wears things even more daring than this at night.
I suppose I should return the favor to some extent.
"Alright. Should I put it on right now? Or…."
"Tomorrow. It must be tomorrow. Yes."
"…What's the big deal? Is there a wedding or something?"
Morgan neither confirmed nor denied it.
My curiosity only grew.
How should I put it… She was burning with a competitive spirit.
"There are so many insolent insects. They must all be crushed underfoot. And it will be tomorrow."
"Insects? What are they? Explain it to me properly."
"I apologize, my husband. Allow me to ask a question first."
Morgan gave me a small kiss. It was shorter than usual, perhaps because she had much to do.
Taking a small breath, Morgan spoke with a noticeably more relaxed expression.
"Can you trust me, always and forever?"
It was a smile that belied the weight of her words, yet warmed my heart.
It was an obvious fact that Morgan was plotting something.
She had turned me into a demi-Servant and confined me in this fortress of a hospital.
I can't even properly check on the progress of the Holy Grail War. Tonight is already the third day, but all I know is that Assassin attacked me on the first.
Morgan cherishes me with the utmost devotion, yet she didn't come to see me even when the hospital was attacked.
I truly had no idea what she was planning.
"…Of course. I'll always trust you."
The words came out opposite to my thoughts. But it wasn't a lie.
In a way, it was a measure to prevent any regrets.
Because it's better for me to be ruined by trusting her too much, than to disappoint her by not trusting her.
Normally, one would think the opposite, but there's no way I'm normal.
The affection she pours onto me is far greater than the affection I pour onto her. That's a fact.
It was agonizing, as if I would drown if Morgan dropped even a single drop of that affection on me.
Even though the warmth she gave was comforting, I felt like I would melt from the heat.
In the end, I broke my promise. I left her to walk a thorny path alone.
The only atonement I can offer is to trust her.
"…I see."
A smile that seemed like it could melt me was too dangerous for my heart.
Even after spending countless nights together, Morgan's charm never faded.
I felt somewhat awkward and ended up saying something foolish.
"I don't know what it is, but I hope it's not something painful."
"...…Pardon?"
"I'd like to live a long life this time around, if possible. My average lifespan has been around 40 years, which, frankly, is troubling."
Excluding my time as Marduk, I've almost always died between the ages of 20 and 40. My average lifespan is probably not even 30.
When you go through reincarnations too quickly, you sometimes miss important things.
Relationships are like that.
It becomes difficult to adapt to a new family, and you agonize over the connections you've lost.
That's why it takes at least 20 years to feel normal again. It's the time needed to adapt to the new era and dilute the past.
But if you forget too much of the past, problems arise, like that time I lashed out at Tamamo when I was Johanna.
One must maintain a middle ground. Remembering the past while looking to the future.
It's not as easy as it sounds.
"When I die too quickly too often, I develop a tendency to take people for granted. I know I shouldn't, but…."
It isn't right to hurt the people who care about me just for my own comfort.
"I can't cherish everyone, but I truly want to cherish the people who are precious to me. Without hurting them, without causing them pain."
Sometimes, because of over-familiarity, one might take those bonds for granted.
For example, there are people who get angry easily with their parents but act politely towards others.
Of course, such people probably cherish their parents in their hearts.
They have to.
"It doesn't matter if you're Tonelico or the Morgan influenced by Pan-Human History. You're precious to me."
I placed my hand on Morgan's cheek. It was cold.
"So please, don't hide too much from me."
I'm tired of misunderstanding and being misunderstood.
I try to speak as honestly as possible.
Trying doesn't mean everything will go my way, but… anyway, I try.
"I'll always trust you. So I hope you'll trust me too, and not hide things from me."
Morgan said nothing.
She just opened and closed her mouth a few times, silently.
It was as if some words were stuck in her throat, unable to come out.
"…I'm sorry."
Leaving behind an apology I'd heard before, Morgan vanished into her Spiritual Form.
It was a bitter thing.
With that action, Morgan had all but admitted it.
I didn't know the nature of the plan she had made, but it likely wouldn't be beneficial for me.
Smart people have a certain trait. Even an ordinary person like me can easily notice it.
They don't talk much.
While tens of thousands of thoughts run through their minds, what they actually say out loud is just a tiny fraction.
And even then, you can't tell if they're being sincere or not.
This is just my guess, but I think smart people also have a tendency to want to play with others.
The basis for this guess is mostly Gilgamesh. The second is Morgan.
"How frustrating."
The sun would rise soon. I wandered aimlessly.
When I came to my senses, I was in front of the hospital's glass doors. Should I go outside? Yes, I should.
Morgan didn't follow me. I had no idea where she was.
She had complete control over the mana path, so she could easily block any attempt to track her location.
Should I check through the Command Spells? I had that thought, but then I remembered that the Command Spells had been transferred to her.
"It's a Holy Grail War, but it has absolutely nothing to do with me anymore."
Even if I were to die, Morgan would be able to continue the Holy Grail War by herself.
I am neither a Master nor a Servant.
…Why was I even here?
After a bit of thought, I remembered. I came here to find the Beast.
My head felt somehow numb. The dawn air was bitingly cold, but it failed to cool the heat in my head.
Is there any need for me to be here?
Couldn't I just tell Mr. Tohsaka that there are signs of the Beast, or maybe someone from the Church—like Mr. Risei—and then just disappear?
If I want to lead a peaceful life, I don't necessarily have to stay in Japan. There's Korea, or even China.
"Damn it. I'm acting like a patient with depression."
This gloomy feeling is not good for me. I have to shake it off.
I walked without a destination. Before I knew it, I was at a park.
I could see children playing in the park. The sun was already high in the sky.
"I was wondering why the kids weren't at school. It's Sunday."
Sunday is my outing day with Morgan, but... I guess that's not important right now.
"Hey! You stepped on the line! That's a foul! A foul!"
"You stepped on it earlier too! Why can't I do it?!"
Even children who look so innocent have their own worries.
To an adult, they might seem like trivial worries.
Like not being able to finish their homework that's due tomorrow, or not liking the place they're supposed to play with a friend.
But from a child's perspective, it's a very important worry. People live their entire lives based on memories from their childhood. Each and every small worry can have significant consequences.
Could a child who was the sole survivor of a fire live a normal life? It would probably be difficult.
Not a single person approached me, a bundle of thoughts radiating a gloomy aura.
There were no 'people.'
"I did not deign to grace this world with my presence just to see such a face."
"…Gilgamesh? Why are you… Ah. The Holy Grail War."
Gilgamesh, dressed in white fur and a golden suit, walked steadily towards me.
I greeted her weakly.
Gilgamesh's expression looked quite displeased.