Lin Wan took a few seconds to process what he had just said, feeling both embarrassed and angry. She pushed the man still lying on top of her away and climbed up to grab a glass of water from the nightstand, drinking a few big gulps.
"Leave some for me," Chen Jin said, grabbing the glass from her hand and finishing the remaining water in one go. He then pulled her back into his embrace and lay down with her. After their intense activity, both of them were covered in sweat, and the sticky feeling of their bodies pressing together only made it worse, creating a kind of unspoken tension.
Chen Jin shifted uncomfortably, yawning. "Don't take a shower, or you'll start burning up again." Lin Wan reluctantly mumbled in agreement, the strong scent of him filling her nose, making her feel extremely uncomfortable, but she didn't resist.
Lin Wan lay there, eyes closed, listening to Chen Jin's soft snoring. After a while, she gently nudged him, but he didn't respond. She got out of bed, her waist sore from his earlier rough movements. She smirked sarcastically. He acted all concerned when he was in the mood, but when it came down to it, he didn't care at all. To him, she was nothing more than a toy—something to tease when he was happy, to amuse when he was bored, to scold when he was upset, and to torment when he needed something.
She walked straight to the study. When her hand touched the door handle, she paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and opened the door to walk in. She had been here a few times before, checking out his "kingdom," so to speak, with the intent of getting to know him better. But now, standing here, the floor beneath her seemed to turn into thorns, each step becoming more difficult, yet she didn't turn back. Quickly, she found a large envelope in a pile of documents on the desk. She opened it and found a stack of photos and a letter, with equipment nearby…
By the time Lin Wan returned to bed, her back was already drenched in sweat, perhaps from the earlier exertion. Now, she felt the coolness running down her spine, maybe from the tension of what had just happened. What confused her was that something she thought would bring relief only left her with exhaustion. The man was still fast asleep, and after adjusting her breath, she turned off the bedside lamp, silently observing his sleeping face.
This was the first time she really looked at him. She found that he wasn't bad-looking. His features were rather sharp and strong, just like his personality—forceful and domineering. His brow was high, his dark, thick eyebrows accentuating his eyes, which weren't very big, but when open, they were sharp and piercing. His eyelashes were long, and his nose was straight and defined. What surprised her was that his lips weren't thin as described in books about indifferent men. It seemed not to be true for him.
No, he was someone deeply emotional, but only when it came to his family. He directed all his passion towards those he cared about, leaving nothing but coldness for everyone else.
At that moment, though, he looked just like any other man—there was no arrogance or malice, nothing but vulnerability. After all, he had just drunk water mixed with sleeping pills. The dosage wouldn't affect her, but for him…
Then, Lin Wan realized something—if she had increased the dosage earlier, would everything have ended? The thought sent a shiver down her spine. She also remembered that terrifying night when she had shown courage, or as he had put it, "recklessness," something she no longer possessed. Now, just silently watching him made her heart race. Had she really become so weak?
Suddenly, Lin Wan felt a sharp ache behind her eyes. Wiping them, she realized they were moist with tears. She gave a faint, bitter smile. She didn't know why she suddenly wanted to look at him. Perhaps it was the nervous energy from what had just happened, or perhaps she simply wanted to see what the man who had burst into her life and torn it apart actually looked like.
She turned off the light and once again struggled with insomnia. She had just turned 24, and anyone would say she was still young, but she felt like she had experienced a lifetime of hardships. She had given all her passion to love someone and all her strength to hate someone. Now, if there was a future for her, without passion, without strength, would there be nothing left but numbness?