It was just past eleven at night when Chen Jin was finally dropped off at his apartment by the driver. Having drunk a little too much earlier, his head was spinning, and his legs felt wobbly as he walked. He quickly took a shower and returned to the bedroom. By the light of the moon outside, he noticed that the bed was empty. Rubbing his eyes, he walked over and touched the bed, still empty. His heart skipped a beat, and he called out, "Wanwan?"
Reaching for the light switch on the wall, the room instantly lit up, and his groggy mind immediately cleared. He remembered—Lin Wan had already left. The thought flashed through his mind, and a pang of sorrow spread quickly from his heart, even to his calves, making him feel as though he had just run a marathon and was utterly exhausted.
He slowly sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for Lin Wan's pillow. It had already lost her warmth. He sighed deeply, then pulled the blanket up and lay down on the side of the bed where she usually slept. Despite it being summer, the blanket felt unusually cold, and he instinctively curled his body. From never being used to it, to getting used to having her by his side, now he had to get used to being alone again. The pillow still held her scent, the fragrance of her shampoo, and he sniffed it a few times, only for his nose to sting.
In the middle of the night, Lin Wan was woken by the sound of the dog barking. Frowning, she sat up and listened carefully. Sure enough, she heard faint voices outside. She never encountered this situation at someone else's place, probably because the environment there was good, the floor was high, and the soundproofing was great. But now, whenever Ni Ni heard even the slightest noise, it would bark nonstop. At this rate, the neighbors would surely complain.
As soon as she got out of bed, Ni Ni heard the movement and ran over to scratch on the bedroom door. Lin Wan walked over and opened it. The dog immediately snuggled up to her legs. She kicked at it with her foot, whispering helplessly, "Always barking, aren't you tired? Such a little rascal."
After being disturbed by Ni Ni, Lin Wan couldn't fall back asleep. She lay on the bed with her eyes closed, recalling the events of the past two days. Yesterday afternoon, she had gone to the airport to send her father off. He had said, "Come home and visit when you have the time."
At the mention of "home," she froze for a moment. Her father awkwardly added, "Home is wherever I'm at. That will always be your home. Your brother is very considerate, and your aunt is very nice..."
When she heard this, she replied, "Give me some time."
Her father kept saying, "okay."
A little while later, he brought up Chen Jin, mentioning that he had visited the hotel the night before and brought a lot of specialties and supplements. As he spoke, he pointed to several gift bags his assistant was holding for her to see. She couldn't quite explain the feeling in her heart at the time, but all she knew was that this person was too much, just too much.
Her father also said, "Ah Jin is a good guy. He's someone you can trust in your life. He's been working hard lately, so take good care of his life..."
At that moment, she wanted to scream everything that had happened over the past two years. She wanted to see the look on her father's face, to see his reaction... But as the thought circled in her mind and her gaze fell on a few silver strands in her hair, she gave up. Yes, this family bond was like a broken bowl, flawed, but she still couldn't bring herself to reject it. Perhaps this was the true face of life—pure things were rare, and people had to learn to compromise.
That evening, she had a small get-together with Si Si and Milan. They had been busy with their own things and hadn't met in a long time. Si Si was about to get married, and every movement of hers now carried the charm of a little woman. She kept talking about "our old Zheng" with every sentence, her words overflowing with a sense of being pampered and satisfied with life. Milan, who was now a soon-to-be mom, had been pregnant for more than four months, but the beauty-loving Milan still insisted on wearing high heels, saying that even after giving birth, she was going to be a hot mom.
During the dinner, Milan mentioned, "They say boys are sour, girls are spicy, but I have loved eating spicy food lately. Not a good sign."
Si Si teased her, "We're in the twenty-first century, and you're still thinking that way about boys and girls."
Milan put down her chopsticks and said, "Let me tell you, no matter what century we're in, boys are more favored than girls. If I have a chubby little boy, he's the crown jewel of the old Qian family. If it's a girl, ha, she'll be a sinner for eternity."
At this point, Lin Wan, who was eating sweet and sour pork, interjected, "Aren't we all girls then?"
Milan replied, "That's different. Wait until you reach my age, you'll understand."
She sighed and said, "I like girls."
Milan laughed. "Well, you can have a daughter then, and she can marry our little Qian."
The other two remained speechless, "Little Qian...?"
Milan proudly said, "That nickname is nice, isn't it? If there's anything good about Qian Jiawei, it's his surname."
Her two best friends were soon-to-be brides and soon-to-be moms. As happy as she was for them, Lin Wan couldn't help but feel a little sour inside. She, too, had once been about to get married, had once had a smile like Si Si's, and had once had a child—a child whose gender she didn't know. If it were a girl, she might have been just like herself...
After the fifteenth time he turned over, Chen Jin cursed loudly, grabbed his phone from the nightstand, and saw that it was already two in the morning. His body was exhausted, like a puddle of mud, but his mind was wide awake, fully aware of the loneliness of missing someone, to the point of madness. He just wanted to bring that woman back, not for anything else, but just so he could get a good night's sleep.
Helpless, he tried the legendary "sheep counting" method: one sheep, two sheep... thirty-eight sheep... one hundred twenty-eight sheep... He realized this method wasn't for him. His brain instinctively resisted sleep, and the more he tried to fight it, the more restless it became. He continued counting: one hundred twenty-nine sheep... three hundred eighty Lin Wans...
Chen Jin opened his eyes, stared at the ceiling, and sighed deeply. Then he got up, threw off the blanket, and got out of bed. He knew he wouldn't sleep tonight. That name buzzed in his mind like a little mosquito, impossible to catch, impossible to escape. He walked into the living room, slouched on the couch with his feet on the coffee table, rubbing his pounding temples with one hand and randomly pressing the remote with the other. When he passed the movie channel, he stopped.
The screen showed a strange-looking man, his face pale, hair messy, and the strangest part—he had no hands. Instead, he had two large, claw-like scissors...
"Edward Scissorhands." He had watched it more than ten years ago. Back then, his only thought was that Johnny Depp was a great actor, and that the woman in the movie was quite pretty. Now, as he heard the female lead say, "Hold me," and the male lead reply, "I can't," his heart suddenly jolted, reminding him of Lin Wan's tearful words, "We can't be together. I can't get over this hurdle..."
He grabbed a cigarette from the coffee table, lit it after several tries, and smoked hastily, letting the ashes fall on his bathrobe. By the time he finished the last few cigarettes, his throat was sore and his tongue numb. He looked up to see the movie had long ended, and a cheerful ad was playing. Weakly, he turned off the TV, dragged his tired body back to the bedroom, and pulled the curtains, blocking the bright moonlight. As he closed his eyes, he still wondered if the person under the same moon was peacefully sleeping.
The next day was Saturday. Lin Wan had arranged to try on wedding dresses with Si Si. Joining them were another bridesmaid, Si Si's fiancé, and Milan, who had come to observe and offer opinions.