REN POV
My heart didn't know what rhythm it was supposed to keep anymore.
It fluttered, stumbled, then tried to steady itself, failing every time Lian Zhen's words replayed inside my head.
You chose me.
I stared at him... at the way the dim room light softened against the sharp lines of his jaw, at the way the shadows curved like shy hands around his shoulders. He held himself tall, composed, masculine, powerful… but his eyes told a different story.
He was afraid.
Of me.
Of my memories.
Of what remembering him might make me feel.
And somehow, knowing he feared losing me... even before I remembered him... made something inside me melt and ache at the same time.
My fingers reached for his cloak without thinking, curling into it gently.
"Zhen…"
My voice was small, barely a breath.
His eyes lowered, as if he couldn't bear the softness in mine.
I swallowed.
"You don't have to be scared," I whispered.
His jaw clenched, just slightly. His breath hitched the way people breathe when they've been holding something in for far too long.
"I do," he murmured.
His hand rose slowly... almost hesitantly... and brushed the side of my cheek with the back of his fingers. The touch was light, careful, like he was touching something sacred he feared he might break.
"You don't remember what happened," he said softly. "You don't remember what I did. What I failed to do."
I grabbed his wrist.
Not hard.
Not desperate.
Just firm enough to tell him I wasn't letting him spiral alone.
"Then tell me," I whispered. "Show me. I want to know everything. Even if it hurts."
His breath trembled against my forehead.
He closed his eyes for a moment…
and when he opened them…
Something in him had shifted.
He was ready.
And I leaned closer, chest resting against his, listening as his voice dipped into memory.
"You chose me," he repeated quietly.
His arms wrapped around my waist almost unconsciously, pulling me just a little closer ....grounding himself in the present so the past wouldn't swallow him whole.
"You walked into the throne room on your eighteenth birthday, barefoot, still dressed in your morning robe. Your hair was loose… down to your waist. The maids scolded you for being unpresentable, but the king only smiled. He always smiled when you entered."
I felt Lian Zhen's chest rumble faintly as he spoke.
"You asked to go to Forest Euphoria. It was your dream... you used to draw the trees in your journals. You imagined fairies inside the petals of the dew flowers. You believed it must be the only place where the moonlight touched the earth gently."
A small laugh escaped him.
Soft. Sad. Unbelievably fond.
"You were stubborn about it. You begged. Your voice was shaking. You didn't want to spend your birthday inside the palace walls again."
I felt my heart tighten painfully. The version of me he was describing… gentle, sheltered, hopeful… it felt like watching a stranger I somehow loved deeply.
"The king refused. Of course he did. You were everything to him."
His hand stroked my back in small lines as he continued.
"But then you cried."
My breath caught.
His arms tightened.
"You tried so hard not to let tears fall… but one slipped. One single tear down your cheek. And the king… I've never seen him panic like that in my life. He would have given you the entire kingdom if you asked."
I almost smiled.
Almost.
But something in his tone felt like foreshadowing, like a shadow crossing the edge of my vision.
"And when he asked who you wanted to take with you," Lian Zhen whispered, "you didn't hesitate."
He pulled back enough to look into my eyes.
"You pointed at me."
My chest tightened.
"You weren't supposed to pick me," he said, voice low. "I was a general. A warrior. Someone who lived on the battlefield, not in bright gardens and gentle sunlight. But you'd watched me from the balcony so many times… and you trusted me."
He swallowed hard.
"You trusted me without knowing I already-"
He stopped.
His eyes dropped to my lips, then quickly away, as if even that was too dangerous to admit aloud.
"You shouldn't have chosen me," he whispered.
"But I did," I answered.
His breath shook.
His forehead pressed to mine.
"And that choice," he murmured, "became the first thread in a tragedy."
He was shaking.
Not visibly, not violently... but I felt it. His voice, his breath, the slight tremor in his hold.
"Zhen…"
"Let me finish," he whispered, almost pleading.
I nodded.
He exhaled shakily and continued.
"The king finally agreed. On one condition."
He fell silent for a moment, eyes darkening with something I couldn't decipher.
"That you would stay hidden. No one was allowed to see your face. Not even in the forest. You wore a veil so delicate it looked like woven frost. Only I was permitted to look at you. Only I could guard you."
His hand cupped the back of my neck.
"You smiled at me when the king said that," he whispered. "A small smile. The first you ever gave me."
A faint, almost wistful smile touched his own lips.
"It was like sunlight breaking through winter clouds."
My heart pounded quietly against my ribs.
"The journey to Forest Euphoria was short," he continued. "The wind was soft that day. The river sang. The sky wore the tender blue of early morning."
His voice grew gentler as he described the scene.
"And you," he said, "you were leaning out the carriage window, veil fluttering behind you, laughing at the birds that chased us."
He swallowed.
"You looked happy."
The word looked carried weight, sadness, something like guilt.
I reached for his hand and laced my fingers with his.
He froze for a moment... surprised... then squeezed my hand back.
"You were fascinated by everything," he said, voice roughening. "You touched tree bark like you were reading stories hidden in it. You let sunlight fall onto your palms as if you'd never seen it before."
He inhaled sharply.
"And I..."
His voice broke.
"I fell."
My breath stilled.
"Hopelessly. Quietly. Completely."
His thumb brushed my cheekbone gently.
"But I couldn't tell you. You were a prince. I was a soldier. You were meant for a throne. I was meant for war. All I could do was protect you."
His grip on my hand tightened.
"And I failed."
END OF THE CHAPTER.