If you want to help me financially, you can do it on
https://ko-fi.com/neverluckysmile
"I've brought you here to discuss your imminent retirement."
Koharu choked on nothing, hacking in a most undignified manner. At her side, Homura looked most unimpressed, shuffling his stiff feet against the luxurious teal rug Tsunade had installed in her office to match the couch from home.
"Now really, Tsunade-chan, that isn't very funny." He gave her a disapproving look.
"No, it isn't," she agreed easily. Her hands were folded on the desk- she had called them to her office like a school principal with naughty children- and she did indeed look dead serious. "It's time to switch out our current system. A changing of the guard, if you will. I actually think that the two of you will agree that the proposed reforms are in Konoha's best interests."
She snapped her fingers, and Shizune wordlessly handed her what looked to be a collection of folders. Her other apprentice was in the room as well. He had no idea what was going on, but he was obediently standing silently and looking impassive. She would need his presence later to make a point very clear and prevent them from defending against her argument.
She'd like to see the old farts look him in the eye and defend exterminating his clan when they desperately wanted him to spawn another one for the good of the village.
"Granted, the village isn't actually that old," she began, spreading out the folders on her desk. "So what we have established as a council is hardly a time-honored tradition. You two are the second council that Konoha has ever had, but the original reasoning behind the two-man council is long past. Originally, the council was representatives of the two noble clans of Konoha that founded the alliance. That is no longer the case. The original purpose of the council was to be the voice of the people whispering in the Hokage's ear."
Koharu was very, very still.
Tsunade deliberately did not smile. Despite the fact that they were militant old bags of wind, the two in front of her really did have Konoha's best interests in mind. "For all your years of commendable experience, talents, and intelligence, I don't think anyone would make the claim that the two teammates of a man elected to the Hokage position over half a century ago are now able to speak for the will of the people. That Hokage has retired, and with him the hint of nepotism that encouraged that appointment," she couldn't resist adding.
"Now, you listen here," Homura began to bluster. She looked very unimpressed. "We have served this village for longer than you've been alive!"
"I know, and that's part of the problem," she drawled. "Surely you are not so delusional to think that you will live forever? You two have been shouldering the burdens that the Third Hokage was less adept with or interested in for a while now. He has retired, for the second time," she enunciated carefully. "It's time for you to pick your replacements."
That was when she flipped open the first of the folders. "The new council," she drawled easily, enjoying the scripted performance, "will consist of five members. A consensus of all five would overrule any proposed action by a Hokage. As it is now, the only role of the Council—the supposed will of the people—is to provide guidance. I am not so naïve as to think you always agreed with my predecessors, not least because I have detailed information about times that you two felt sensei was making a mistake and chose to follow another path."
The words were deliberately chosen. They had been phrased in such a way as to imply multiple things—that they may have been right about those things, that she had much more information than they would like, and that if they did not do as she wished, she could have them tried for treasonous actions.
A carrot and a stick. That skinny Nara brat had made some flowery analogy about flowers and deer, but Tsunade liked to call things what they were.
From their tense posture, both of the elders received her messages loud and clear. She savored it for just a moment—she hated having to play at their own game, but she wasn't a ham-handed brute. This route would serve her well. And oh, it was sweet to see them squirm.
She was almost hoping that she would get to use force, but her first route was that of diplomacy. If they greased the wheels, this transition would be easier.
"These five members will be selected to represent certain important factions within Konoha," she continued, drawing their attention back to her folders and passing the first one out. "For example, I have selected Morino Ibiki as a prospective candidate for the seat representing the intelligence division as one of the permanent perspectives we should be guided by. The other areas would be a representative from the Hospital's board of directors, the active duty sector, the Academy, and last but not least, a representative of the mercantile faction."
At their outraged expressions, she added, "I have several civilians from the Yamanaka clan in mind. Rest assured that the civilian perspective on the council will not be completely ignorant of the demands of a shinobi village. However, a large part of Konoha's strength is in our trade. Shinobi mouths cannot be fed without farmers, merchants, and the men and women whose children become our first generation shinobi to replace the waning strength of our clans."
They seemed a bit stunned. She took it as a good sign. "I would hope that you would be instrumental in selecting a successor for one of those categories."
With her stipulation that they avoid all appearance of nepotism and keep the Council separate from the guiding body of Clan Heads that made up the larger council, it would be nearly impossible for either of them to find a worthy candidate who would actually be a problem. But even if they both managed it, her three selections would outweigh them. Morino Ibiki was a nearly assured selection, after all. It was hard to claim that anyone other than the Head of their Intelligence would be able to represent that faction.
The folders she had provided and passed out at that point contained the profiles of the people she had considered, color-coded by the office they were meant to represent. In a rare fit of humor, Sasuke had made the active duty candidates leaf green, intelligence pink, and the hospital the color of the hideous tiling. (Shizune called it 'partially digested pumpkin'). The Academy candidate's steel grey and the civilian members' yellow (the shade of an expensive imported dye unavailable anywhere in the Fire Country) were less amusing, but still appropriate. Tsunade rather suspected he had some obsessive compulsive tendencies.
Neither of the antediluvian lizards slowly decaying on chairs in her office were idiots, for all their flaws. A bit paternalistic and condescending, but they did want what was best for Konoha. They would find the idea of a council with the power to outvote a Hokage very appealing, and the more organized she appeared to be, the better they would look upon the plan.
Silently, the two read through several folders, making faces at some and nodding slightly at others. That could have just been their weak dinosaur neck muscles wavering, though, she mocked internally. Her amusement stayed off her face completely. She couldn't allow them to treat her as a child.
Finally, Koharu spoke. "You suggest Maito Gai for the active duty shinobi? Do you really feel that is wise, Tsunade-chan?"
She recognized the query for the test that it was. Tsunade gave a faux-casual shrug. "Maito-san is perhaps one of the most unconventional shinobi in the village, but also undeniably one of the strongest active-duty shinobi. He is internationally regarded, practical, and highly intelligent. His experience with producing an admirable team will aid him, as will his almost two decades of active service both in wartime and in peace."
He was fucking weird as all hell, is what he was, but that didn't change the fact that he was brilliant.
"But we have other war heroes," Koharu probed innocently.
Tsunade gave a quiet huff. "It's true that Hatake Kakashi, for example, is perhaps both more intelligent and more powerful than Gai-san," she began, "But he does not possess the necessary temperament for that type of role. If all else fails he would be an excellent, powerful and decisive Hokage, but I do not believe he has the natural understanding of those around him that would aid him in speaking for his peers. Gai-san has contact with many age groups and specializations, whereas Hatake-san appears to have a decidedly anti-social bent."
(At this point, she could practically hear the hyena-like cackle that her youngest apprentice might have wanted to indulge in at the thought of his old sensei speaking for the people. It was a patently ludicrous thought. Maybe she was projecting, though.)
'Gotcha'. She let just a hint of amusement reach her honey eyes. They'd played into her hands by asking her about her selections and allowing her to illustrate that she had coherent arguments and logical explanations for each name on the shortlist.
"And this Umino Iruka?" Homura asked suddenly, holding up a glossy picture of the man in his Chuunin fatigues. "He seems very young for such a role."
"Umino?" She delicately raised one eyebrow. "He is two years older than you were when you two each assumed fifty percent of the responsibilities that these five members would shoulder amongst themselves," she said a bit too sweetly. "Surely it's possible that someone like that could handle less than half of what you did when you assumed your positions."
The air conditioning seemed to suddenly become more effective.
They couldn't well refute that without saying that appointing them had been a mistake and that they had their positions on the basis of nepotism. They did, of course, and they probably knew that on some level.
"We shall consider this proposition," Koharu said with quiet dignity, standing to leave. Homura got to his feet unsteadily as well.
"Just one more thing," Tsunade said lazily. 'Time for the teeth to come out'. "This is not a suggestion. I dearly hope that you will see the wisdom in this proposal, but with the information I have about your past habits of…" she pursed her lips, enjoying their carefully blank expressions. "say, indulging in actions that Sarutobi-sensei had found to be unwise, I would have to be foolish to keep you on my council. I do not have the benefit of working with you for years and cannot therefore trust that when you go behind my back and aid Danzo in rather interesting escapades that I will see the wisdom in them after the fact or forgive you out of friendship. Make no mistake. Your retirements will be announced two days from now at the spring festival, whether you do it yourselves through a smile or I explain after I have you arrested for treason tomorrow." She gave a decidedly feline smile. "Enjoy your retirement."
When the door slammed shut behind them and the privacy seals flared to life again, she allowed herself to relax. "Well, that was a fucking bore," she drawled. 'Two down, and the worst to go.' That would be a while yet, despite how desperately she wanted the damn thing done.
There was a chance that they would decide to fight her. They would first go to Danzo, then the Daimyo. Once Danzo realized the Daimyo had already been poisoned against the three of them (why support a candidate who could die off at any moment?) he would almost certainly leave the two of them out to dry. In turn… Well. They wouldn't like that much, now would they?
Shizune giggled, on a bit of an adrenaline fueled high. She let herself relax, having been tensely professional the entire time the council had been there.
"It's almost like you're planning on putting an idiot in office," Sasuke drawled with a slight smirk. "Are you sure you don't want to codify anything else to prevent Naruto from running Konoha into the ground or hurting himself? Maybe we should put protective cushions around all the corners in the building?"
"If you think of anything else, be sure to file all suggestions with Keiko," she snarked. Then she sighed, serious. There was one or two more unpleasant things to get out of the way at the moment, despite being done with bullying the elderly for the moment.
"Sasuke." He looked at her, smirk slipping off his features. "Shizune and I each have one issue to bring up with you." She cracked her knuckles. "Unfortunately, what I need to tell you is classified information above your clearance level. You desperately need to know, but there are also extenuating circumstances making it very unwise for me to tell you right now."
Both of his dark eyebrows went up. He'd been cleared to Jounin status as her apprentice so he could be helpful. "It relates to the indiscretions that I am tossing those old farts out on their asses for." She purposefully let bitterness seep into her tone.
He became very still, dark eyes unwavering. There weren't many good ways to interpret that.
"Once you have met either one of the two requirements for officially becoming a Clan Head, turning sixteen or proving yourself an A-class shinobi capable of defending the village's most important secrets, I will tell you everything that I was told soon after I gained this office." She regarded him steadily. "Can you trust my wisdom and that I act in your best interests until that time?" This wasn't an ideal solution. If she didn't have a grasp of his personality and think he could handle it, she would have tried to keep this information from him forever instead of trying to make sure he didn't become too infuriated when he found out he'd wasted five years hating a victim and being smiled at by the real murderers.
"Hai," he said slowly and a bit uncertainly, his loose clothes rustling slightly as he shifted.
"Good," she bit off, glad to be able to pass the buck. "Now, Shizune, tell him what you discovered."
Her older apprentice gave her a dirty look. Tsunade had agreed to break this news as well. She stepped forward gamely anyway, somewhat nervously fingering the blood test she had analyzed earlier that day. "Ah, do you remember when I asked you for clearance to access your family's medical history?" He nodded.
Tsunade tried not to snort. That wasn't a particularly brave start.
"For context, I think I should explain that the Uchiha clan actually had a tendency to demonstrate a certain rare blood disease in the last few generations," she continued professionally. "Very rare, of course. I think that there were four reported cases since the founding, but seeing as the disease has only been reported as manifesting outside the clan in the limited medical history we have, I would hypothesize that there's a definite genetic predisposition in your family line. We don't know much about it at all, actually, and it has never been cured."
"This does not inspire comfort," he deadpanned, crossing his arms. "So, is this your way of telling me I'm sick? Do I have a month left to live, perhaps?"
"No…" she coughed, eyes avoiding his face. "When an Academy student displayed symptoms, I thought to do some bloodwork."
Sasuke had gone pale in an instant when she'd said the world 'student', and was now looking distinctly green by 'bloodwork'. He was a smart boy.
"Um, well. There are five cases now. Congratulations." She held out a profile and gave a picture-perfect smile with just the right amount of teeth. "It's a girl. It looks like someone was pregnant with the love-child of a cousin of yours at the time of his death. That woman, a career Chuunin who passed away about a year ago, never released any information about the child's parentage." She coughed awkwardly. "Somewhat understandably so, given that Itachi is still at large."
There was a thump when Sasuke fainted dead away. It was the least dignified thing either woman had ever seen him do.
Tsunade peered over the edge of her desk and cackled. "Welcome to responsibility for another life, Uchiha Clan heir," she gasped out. She burst out into peals of laughter at Shizune's false disapproval. "Oh, live a little. It's funny. And just think, I bet the poor boy is going to be the one to figure out the cure."
Shizune cracked a reluctant smile, picking up her limp kohai easily and ruffling his hair after she deposited him on the couch. "He does excel in his areas of interest," she commented mildly. And it would be the first time a medic of any real caliber had investigated the disease, as the Uchiha had been far too proud for their own good and apparently of the idiotic idea that a predisposition for a certain disease tied to the carriers of Sharingan was an embarrassing sign of weakness.
~~~
"When do we leave?"
Temari jumped a little, sloshing her ice-cold water onto her lap. She grimaced, ignoring the television long enough to mop up the mess with a cushion and then toss it aside. Someone came to clean daily anyway. Living in Konoha was niiiice- no water restrictions or assigned times for bathing, air conditioning that she could adjust in the apartment, and a twitchy brunette who she could ring and ask for food at any time were all at her disposal.
'At this rate, I'm going to be able to proudly tell Kankuro that Gaara learned to speak in sentences while we were away. Won't he be surprised', she thought amusedly. He seemed marginally less terrifying now that she knew he could do something so human as get flustered over how to talk to a girl. Being in Konoha really had been good for him.
"Depends," she finally answered. Temari looked up at her brother lazily and patted the sqwooshy mauve couch in invitation. He leaned against the back instead, oddly intent as he loomed over her. "Why? Are you bored?"
Poor Gaara had been getting the brunt of what little enthusiasm that the irritating tour guide assigned to them for their stay could muster. (It was almost as if Konoha wanted to make sure they'd be kept out of trouble or something. She had no idea where they'd ever get an idea like that).
While she was in meetings with the Hokage or signing endless paperwork downstairs, he had endured monotonous tours of the hundreds of little bridges spanning tiny creeks and rock gardens and all manner of sissy things that Konoha boasted instead of practical things like minefields filled with poisonous cacti and poisonous animals. (It boggled the mind. What ninja cared that much about aesthetics? The Senju had apparently been fucking weird).
The tours had proven two different things to Temari- they were getting desperate to keep her little brother entertained, and he was demonstrating what seemed to be saintlike patience. Of course, since for Gaara days never ended and he probably stared at the walls or something for a polite eight hours while the rest of Konoha slept, it made sense that he would be anxious enough to want to leave.
"If things go well, we could be out of here tomorrow," she ventured, aiming for a noncommittal tone since he had never responded to her last try at conversation. She had actually been rather interested in staying for the cherry blossom viewing festival. She had never seen one before, and wasn't likely to have a chance again anytime soon.
Either she wasn't as good as she thought she was, or her little brother knew her far better than he'd indicated so far because he gave her a sharp look. Temari preferred to think it was the second option. Sheepishly, she shrugged and admitted that, "I was hoping to stay for the festival. The Hokage invited us, you know. I mean, it is a little childish, but…"
"That would be acceptable," Gaara said quietly, looking down at his hands uncertainly before slowly moving to pat her shoulder. She gifted him with a wide smile. Awkwardly, he tried to raise one half of his mouth in answer, baring a few teeth. His cheek sort of twitched, and then she couldn't help but laugh.
He looked mildly affronted, so she sat up and flung her arms around his neck, dragging him closer down to her level. It was nice to be able to touch her youngest brother, especially now that Kankuro had decided he was too grown up for cuddles. Temari was actually a very physical person.
"Thanks," she chirruped. "You know, they gave us a budget for shopping since we're here as ambassadors. Want to play dress up for the festival?"
The look he gave her in answer was revolted. She snickered, before conceding, "Okay, maybe not. I think I have one of my nicer outfits clean anyways. Do you need that washed?" She nodded at his blood-stained attire.
Gaara looked faintly perplexed. "I had these clothes washed before we left home."
'Eat your heart out, sissy Konoha nin,' Temari thought with a lopsided smirk. "Fair enough, little bro. Although normally, people wash their clothes every day here. Not exactly worried about water supplies." There had never seemed like any point in pressing the matter of hygiene with him, since he got blood on his clothes almost daily up until recently.
If he'd possessed eyebrows, they would have been raised then.
"Yeah, I know," she agreed blandly, and considered asking him why he didn't have any. Did he shave them off, or did he just not grow any? She hadn't thought it polite to ask before.
Still probably wasn't very polite, actually.
~~~
Yamato slouched like a recalcitrant child, red-faced and slightly shamed. He could practically feel amusement in his senpai's gaze, though the only hints were in that one visible eye.
"And how did practice go earlier today?" he inquired lightly, a strange lilt in his voice. Yamato shuffled his feet guiltily.
Stiffly, he replied, "Aiko-san may be more talented than I gave her credit for."
That was a slight understatement. She had kept him on the run, and he was relatively certain that she wasn't working very hard to gentle her blows. The difficulty of using her chains for restraint partially lay in the fact that she would be using them on moving targets. The girl could easily wrap them around existing wood without even cracking it (a low bar for measuring gentleness, but he'd take what he could get since he was not planning on letting her touch him with them) but as soon as she had to act against a moving target all hell broke loose.
However, after he had somehow managed to offend her, he was relatively certain that her intent had been less to practice and more to make a point. It was impractical, and that confused him a bit. They would have to work together again at least once more. If she disliked him so, she should be as efficient as possible to end the working relationship.
Then again, he was a black kettle talking about a pot. He had let a teenager fluster him and get under his skin. He was already embarrassed before he'd gone to his apartment and found that his hair and clothes were full of splinters. And so here he was, gently shedding bits of trash in front of his personal hero. Yamato took a moment to feel a little sorry for himself.
There was a pointed silence while Kakashi mercilessly waited for the younger man to continue, completely ignoring the obvious plea in watery dark eyes. "Is that a report, soldier?"
He coughed, tugging at his flak jacket. It was a different weight distribution than ANBU gear, and he wasn't yet used to it. He didn't venture out in plainclothes much. "Well, um. By the end of things, she did have somewhat of a grasp of using her chakra chains in a way that didn't damage wood, but I am not entirely confident she will be able to safely use them as a method of restraint for living beings."
"Oh?" his bastard of a senpai inquired easily. "Were you correct about your assumption that she would probably not be able to do too much damage, or did you need to help her master gentle handling against your wood before you risked flesh?"
The wording, though factual… was disturbingly reminiscent of his terrible experience. 'You fucker,' Yamato thought a little darkly, 'you knew. You knew about that little monster.' Outwardly, he maintained as impassive an expression as possible.
There was absolutely no chance his senpai was fooled.
"No. Aiko-san demonstrated… disturbing proficiency with damaging my wood." His ears were scarlet, and there was an altogether strange tone in his voice. Kakashi favored him with a glance. Defensively, Yamato added, "She also demonstrated by far the filthiest vocabulary I've ever encountered."
Kakashi valiantly managed not to snicker. Poor uptight Tenzou. He gave his cute little kohai an unimpressed expression. "Who, precious little Aiko-chan? Ah, that's funny Tenzou." He practically leered. "What a joker you are."
"Yamato!" his kohai practically yelped, coloring around his collar. "It's Yamato now." Then he gave a slight pout, as if considering refuting his senpai's apparent misconception about the nature of his apprentice. Then again, complaining might signal to her that she'd somehow won a psychological victory, which would be unacceptable. He'd won their spar, of course. He was former ANBU and an A-class shinobi. It would have been an utter disgrace if he hadn't.
Then again, it was also a bit disgraceful that he had let her fluster him into turning their training into a spar. It had been supposed to be a controlled exercise. By the end, he involuntarily cringed every time he was pushed into using his unique jutsu to push her abilities. The comments about being overwhelmed by his barrage and so on didn't help, either. That little brat was a hell of a voice actor. If he didn't know what had been going on…
He involuntarily tugged at his collar, swallowing hard. 'She's not even fourteen,' he reminded himself desperately. 'She doesn't know what she's talking about.'
Yamato carefully steered this thoughts away from that dark path. That way only leads to madness. She wouldn't act so... so… Well. That wouldn't happen again if someone else was there to witness, right? The girl had seemed perfectly sweet and innocent until Kakashi-senpai had left. Overly saccharine, in fact. …suspiciously so…
Yamato had the sudden suspicion that he'd been played. She'd never been a fluffball in the first place, had she.
"Well then, Yamato," Kakashi breathed, taking a step in. His heartrate jumped, and he went very still while his senpai practically purred into his ear. "I suppose that I'll still need your help."
"Hai," he agreed dumbly before he knew what he'd said.
"Excellent." Kakashi snapped backwards, no longer leaning in and somehow looming over Yamato and disrupting his thought processes. "I'll find you when I need help again."
Flustered, Yamato jumped and moved to waive his hands, saying that he'd changed his mind or that he wasn't the best to help her or please god senpai, don't leave me alone with a girl again- but it was too late. His senpai gave a little wave and was gone.
'That is the rudest way to end a conversation,' he pouted to himself, sinking down into his couch with no care for the mess he was leaving. (Senpai had ambushed him when he came home, having placidly eaten the leftovers in the fridge with no apparent shame whatsoever). He didn't even know when his senpai would want his help again.
Then again, that meant that Kakashi-senpai would seek him out on his own. Yamato brightened.
~~~
"Booooring," Aiko whined, channeling Naruto just a little bit. Absently, Ino reached back and smacked her upside the head. She cringed with the force of the blow, lessening the force behind it but didn't bother to dodge. She'd deserved it.
This was a particular ritual that Aiko had never taken part in to her memory, though she had heard tell of it before.
'Funny, it always seemed so much more interesting in movies,' she mused. She had obediently parked her butt on a bench outside the fitting room where Karin was tugging Hinata into a gorgeous kimono for the festival the day after tomorrow. She wasn't entirely sure where they had picked Ino up, but she had come with a wide-eyed, patient boy Aiko had never met who was apparently her designated shopping bag holder. He was looking a little unbalanced, she noted critically. But he was very strong, probably either a low-level shinobi or someone who worked out a lot. A lesser man might have sagged under the bolts of fabric Ino was throwing around haphazardly. From what Aiko gathered, Ino and her mother had a tradition of making their own kimono for this festival. The woman must have been very talented, because the pictures Ino trotted out proved that she wasn't shoddily dressed at past events.
"Oh!" Ino gasped theatrically, hands flying up to her mouth. "You gorgeous bitch! Everyone, look at Hinata."
The girl herself was flushing when Aiko lifted her head to see what the fuss was about, but Hinata resolutely stared straight forward. It was a marked improvement on her old habit of staring at the ground (or fainting, god forbid). The kimono itself had been excellently tailored to her graceful form. Doubtlessly the patterns of yellow, green, and pink birds and flowers meant something incredibly poignant, but Aiko had no idea. She'd forgotten pretty much everything she'd learned about flower meanings and kimono selection. Aiko liked clothes quite a bit, but they were usually much simpler.
Karin squealed, Ino's boy toy gazed for just a little too long and sputtered out something complimentary, and a group of slightly older girls they didn't know came over to gush. Apparently, Hinata was going to be the prettiest girl at the whole damn festival. When the group looked at her expectantly, Aiko hurried to think of something appropriate to say.
"Where are you going to put your weapons in that?"
Apparently, that wasn't the magic phrase she was looking for. Hinata gave a surprised sort of laugh, but Karin face-palmed and Ino gave her a bewildered look. She shrugged helplessly in response, giving Aiko a particularly disgusted look through her fingers.
"How did you pass your traditional dress class when you started school?"
Aiko shrugged uncaringly. "Naruto," she replied simply as if that explained everything. Then she frowned. 'Come to think of it, that probably only creates more questions for them,' she realized. No one said anything. Impatiently, she tapped at the weapons pouch on her thigh. It was a bit of a security blanket and comforting habit for her.
"Who is dressing you for this?" Ino finally managed, sounding disturbingly flat.
"Um… Karin?" she said, making it more of a question than a statement and peering over at her 'cousin'. Ino patted her arm.
"Good call. Actually, if you don't mind I'd like to help. Doesn't she have such exotic coloring?" Ino tugged on Aiko's hair and poked her pale cheek with one of her harpy talons before whipping around to ignore her again.
'It's like I'm an animal for sale.' Slightly offended, she slouched against a wall and just waited for it all to be over. She had no idea why, but they eventually put her in a pink and brown confection and did their level best to force any and all oxygen out of her body with the obi.
"That's too tight," she blandly slipped out, slapping their hands away and loosening it herself. Why would they do that? The dress was already impractical enough. Reducing her cardio abilities would be an outright hindrance.
Ino and Karin shared an inscrutable look at her expense. She rolled her eyes. She didn't need to look sexy. She was thirteen.
That was in the afternoon, and Aiko had split from her other companions. Normally she might have been miffed about carrying all the bags home, but she was just grateful to be free. Hinata and Karin were going to meet with their new sensei to train for the first time, and had made a quick change in the shop before taking off to training ground 44.
Aiko almost considered pitying them. They didn't seem to understand what they'd gotten into, even after Kurenai broke out into a laughing fit and kept trying to congratulate them for pulling a hilarious prank. When they assured her that they really were asking permission for Hinata to do supplementary training with Anko, she had reportedly gotten a very strange expression before muttering something indistinguishable that they took as permission.
Then again, if they couldn't take hints like that, they probably deserved the full-throttle crazy train coming their way.
She was glad for both of them, actually. Karin's combat abilities were poor and she had really been feeling stifled in the hospital (she had a lot of anger to work off). Hinata's combat stats weren't the greatest either, (and if she never worked up the bravery to go back to the Hyuuga manse and seek out further jyuuken training, they probably wouldn't get much better without Anko's timely intervention) but her real issue was her crippling lack of confidence. She had been gradually opening up, especially at the house, but she still reverted sometimes in public to a stuttering mess. If Anko (the self-proclaimed sexiest kunoichi in Hi no Kuni, most powerful and graceful master of snake ninjutsu and saint for a religion she planned on inventing) couldn't help Hinata gain some rocking abilities and the capacity to recognize them as such, then no one in the world could hope to help that girl.
'Of course, that's if they survive the training.' Aiko snorted in a really unbecoming manner when her two housemates dragged their sorry carcasses to the house about five hours later in the dead of the night while she'd been scribbling in one of her books. "You two look like shit," she cackled, having just flipped on the porch light when she heard a noise. She was in a thin blue yukata instead of her day clothes, but technically decent enough to come greet them.
Karin gave her a hideous look through red-rimmed eyes and snarled, "Bite me!" Hinata made some strange sound she couldn't quite identify.
From behind them, Anko tutted. "Tsk tsk, Hinata." She shook her head sadly. "What did I say about that? Use your words."
Hinata whimpered. The snake mistress nudged at her ribs with an elbow.
"What do we say when someone tells us we look like shit?" she patiently coached, looking for all the world like a kindergarten teacher. It was uncanny, and Aiko shivered involuntarily.
The small girl took a deep, shaking breath, looked up at Aiko, and gave a weak and very obviously practiced glare. "Go s-suck a lemon."
Karin grinned feebly, pushing past Aiko into the house and collapsing at the table with her shoes still on. "Atta girl, Hinata."
Aiko couldn't help but feel proud as well. "Would you like to come in?" She held the door open further to Anko as Hinata shuffled in like a zombie. Anko looked a bit surprised, pointing at herself.
"What, me? I was just walking them home, since I thought the poor babies might collapse. They're out of shape." Karin managed to stick her tongue out at the older woman. The shuriken that Anko idly flung in response thudded into the table a centimeter from her finger. She was apparently too tired to flinch away, shrugging instead and resting her forehead on the table.
"I'm sure," she agreed placidly. "Invitation's still open. I don't have to be up early tomorrow."
Slowly, Anko smiled, looking a bit uncertain. That was about when Aiko realized that Anko was still probably a bit of an outcast and felt like shit for never having invited her over before.
"C'mon." She nudged a pair of house shoes at Anko. "Sorry about it being a spare, I'll get you a pair of your own tomorrow, if princess priss can tolerate the horror of someone using the communal shoes I bought for people to use for one night." Her voice easily carried throughout the house as Hinata shuffled around making quiet noises in the spare bedroom where she had been staying. (At this point, it was almost her bedroom, really).
"Right now, I don't care if she eats them," Karin croaked out from the kitchen.
Anko favored her with an unimpressed look, leaning over to slip off her ninja standard sandals. "You know, you should take a shower before Hinata-chan uses up all the hot water."
Karin actually let out a few tears and a whimper, pushing herself up with shaky arms. "Kill me now, someone. Anyone."
"No one do it," Hinata half-whispered raspily from the bathroom door, catching everyone's attention with an unusually giddy little smile that Aiko thought might signal she was feeling lightheaded. "If I have to feel like this, so do you." Then she slipped inside and quietly shut the door, leaving everyone else in stunned silence before the two kunoichi who didn't ache started laughing nearly hysterically when the water turned on.
"Not funny," Karin wailed.
When they managed to stop laughing, Anko demandingly tugged Aiko into the front room and covertly pulled out a small orange box from her hip pouch… which Aiko was downright shocked to recognize as a digital camera case.
"Before you judge me, I want you to know that I was gauging their ability to work together under adverse circumstances," she began, looking only slightly guilty. "To prove that they had what it took to be my students, you understand. I don't want to train no selfish little brats."
"I don't judge, promise," she mumbled distractedly before prodding at the camera. "Where did you get that?" she breathed, raising an eyebrow. Those things were not cheap. In the kitchen, Karin moaned sadly, but didn't seem to be interested in what they were whispering about.
The older girl shrugged conspiratorially. "Hey, it was my first day as a teacher," she hissed. "I had to immortalize it. For posterity, you understand. Would you like to see them fighting the giant tigers with their legs tied together?"
Aiko blinked, not entirely sure she'd heard that properly. "What, like for a three-legged race?"
Anko nodded seriously. "Yeah, the tigers interrupted, but that was almost better than what I'd planned."
"You are a terrible person," she spoke out loud with too much volume, a bit stunned. Then she snatched at the camera. "I think I'm in love with you. Of course I want to see that."