The evening air was crisp as I made my way through the Stone Dorm corridors. My hands were clammy, heart hammering against my ribs. This was my second attempt at reaching Marin.
Of course he wouldn't let me near him again. Fair enough. My reputation preceded me.
But I couldn't just let this go. I know what Theodore is capable of, what he did to Maya is absolutely unforgivable, and now he's going after Marin.
I couldn't let that happen again.
"You sure about this?" Asura's voice echoed in my mind. She was back in my room, probably raiding my latest sugar stash.
"No," I admitted silently. "But I have to try."
I stopped in front of Marin's door, room 047, one floor below mine. Taking a deep breath, I knocked.
"Go away!" The response was immediate.
"Marin, please. I just need five minutes."
The door flew open. Marin stood there, blue hair disheveled, eyes blazing with irritation. "You again? I told you yesterday, I don't need your help. Whatever you think you know about Senior Theodore, I don't care."
"He's dangerous!"
"And you're not?" Marin's laugh was bitter. "At least Senior Theodore has tried to reach out to me to help with my situation! Where were you when I needed money to buy mana stones for my mana theory class? Where were you when I couldn't afford the grimoires I needed to study?"
The words hit like physical blows. Everything he said was true. I couldn't even think if anything to say.
Marin stepped forward, and I instinctively stepped back. "Listen, Ashford. I don't know what game you're playing, but stay away from me. If you approach me again, I'm reporting you to the Student Council for harassment. Got it?"
He was about to close the door, when I decided to take a different approach. I held the door preventing it from closing. I was frustrated. Why won't he listen to me. I let my annoyance show on my face. If he wouldn't listen to me. I'll force him to.
"Now who gave you the right to call me by my last name without honorifics huh."
But Marin didn't even flinch. He simply said.
"Sorry, young Lord Ashford" and slammed his door shut.
The way he grudgingly said " Young lord" made my blood boil. It was like to him we were equals simply because we were in the same dorm. All that Theodore talk of him having talent has started going to his head. I'm a noble! He doesn't have the right to talk to me like that....
Asura's voice interrupted my train of thought "That's how noble supremacists think."
I'd just realised that I was starting to think like one of those noble supremacists, who make the lives of commoners increasingly difficult.
I stood there, staring at the wooden surface, my reflection distorted in the polished doorknob. Failure. Again.
He had neither fear nor respect for me now that Theodore was backing him up.
"Well, that went great," Asura drawled as I trudged back into my room. She was sitting cross-legged on my bed with a lollipop stick protruding from her mouth. The bag of the second batch of candy sat open beside her.
Maya floated near the window, her translucent form catching the setting sunlight. "He probably won't listen to you no matter what you say," she said softly. "Can't really blame him. Your reputation is..."
"Ass. I know." I collapsed into my desk chair, running both hands through my hair. "What am I supposed to do? Just watch Theodore ruin another life?"
"You can't save everyone, Aldric," Asura said, but there was unusual gentleness in her tone. "Especially when they don't want to be saved."
"There has to be something."
"Actually," Maya interrupted, "there might be. What if you got someone else to talk to Marin? Someone with a better reputation?"
I looked up at her. "Who?"
"Senior Lucas." Maya's ghost flickered slightly as she became more animated. "He's the Student Council President. Everyone trusts him. If he warned Marin about Theodore, it would carry actual weight."
My stomach twisted. Lucas. The thought of asking him for help made me want to crawl under my bed and never come out.
But Maya was right.
"That's... actually a good idea," I said slowly.
"Then what are you waiting for?" Asura hopped off the bed, crushing the lollipop between her fangs with a sharp crack. "Go find him. The Student Council room is in the main building, third floor."
"Now?"
"It's barely past six. Council members often work late." Maya smiled encouragingly. "You can do this."
I wasn't so sure, but I stood anyway. My legs felt like lead as I left the room and made my way across campus. The main building loomed ahead, its windows glowing with lamplight. Most students had already returned to their dorms for the evening.
The hallways were quiet as I climbed to the third floor. My footsteps echoed off the marble floors. When I reached the Student Council room, I could see light bleeding from under the door.
Someone was inside.
But my body moved on autopilot, driven by nervous energy and desperation. I grabbed the handle and pushed the door open without thinking.
"Lucas, I need your help..."
The words died in my throat.
It wasn't Lucas.
Sera sat at the large desk, quill in hand, papers spread before her. Her golden blonde hair caught the lamplight, and for a split second, just a heartbeat, I saw her smile. That warm, genuine smile I remembered from years ago, before I'd ruined everything.
Then she recognised me.
The smile vanished like a candle being snuffed out. Her blue-green eyes went cold, her expression shifting to careful neutrality.
I froze.
Every muscle in my body locked up. My brain screamed at me to say something, anything, but my mouth wouldn't cooperate. All I could do was stand there like an idiot while Sera's gaze bored into me.
The silence stretched for three seconds that felt like three hours.
Then I turned and fled.
I made it about ten steps down the hallway before Asura's voice exploded in my mind.
"What the hell was that?!"
"Shut up," I gasped, leaning against the wall. My heart was trying to hammer its way out of my chest.
"You literally ran away! You opened the door, saw her, and RAN!"
"I know!"
"That's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen, and I watched you cry yourself to sleep for six weeks! Are you fucking insane?! This is your chance to apologise for being an S rank dick head, and you're running away???"
"I said I know!" I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor, head in my hands. "What am I supposed to do? Just walk back in there after that?"
"YES!" Asura's mental roar made me wince. "You walked all the way here. You opened the damn door. And you want to give up now because you got scared?"
"She hates me."
"Of course she hates you! You broke her wrist and acted like a psycho! But running away just proves you're still that same unrepentant fool!"
The words stung, probably because they were true.
"Listen to me," Asura's voice softened slightly. "You've been talking about wanting to change, wanting to be better than you were as Kenji. Well, this is what that looks like. It's uncomfortable. It's terrifying. And you do it anyway."
I took a shaky breath. "What if she just tells me to leave again?"
"Then at least you tried. Now get your ass back in there."
Maya's voice joined in, gentle and encouraging. "She's right, Aldric. You came here for a reason. Don't give up now. I'm rooting for you."
I stood slowly, my legs still trembling. One step. Then another. Each one felt like wading through mud, but I forced myself forward until I was standing in front of that door again.
This time, I didn't knock either. I just pushed it open and walked in.
Sera looked up from her papers, her expression carefully neutral. When she saw it was me again, something flashed in her eyes, annoyance, maybe, or confusion.
"It is rude to enter a place where your senior is present without knocking," she said, her voice perfectly level. Professional. Kinda cold.
I opened my mouth. Closed it. My mind raced through a dozen different things I could say, each one feeling more inadequate than the last.
Should I apologize for not knocking? No, that's not why I'm here. Should I explain about Marin first? No, I need to address the elephant in the room. Should I...
"Shut the fuck up and apologize."
Asura's blunt command cut through my spiraling thoughts like a knife.
I took a deep breath. Let it out slowly.
"Senior Representative Blackwood," I said, forcing my voice to remain steady. "I am here to apologize for my conduct."
Sera's eyebrows rose slightly. She set down her quill with deliberate care, folding her hands on the desk. "What conduct?"
The question was clearly meant to make me spell it out. To make me acknowledge exactly what I'd done.
Fair enough.
"For being a dickhead," I said bluntly.
A flicker of surprise crossed her face, probably not the formal apology she'd expected but it vanished quickly. "Sorry won't just make everything right again," she said, her tone sharp. "That's a childish mentality that can and will get you killed in the real world." She continued "Do you honestly think that saying sorry will fix every problem you have caused."
She was right. Of course she was right.
I did the only thing I could think of.
I dropped to my knees.
Then I bent forward, pressing my forehead to the cold floor in the traditional Japanese gesture of deepest apology the dogeza that Kenji's mother had forced him to perform countless times when apologizing to landlords, loan sharks, people that I damaged their cars.
Sera was genuinely confused. She had never even heard of a noble kneel talkless of bow to another person.
"Even so," I said, my voice muffled against the floor. "I'm sorry. Its the only thing I can do. I can't turn back time. This is the only way I can try to make amends."
Silence.
"I'm sorry."
My throat was tightening. Tears were building behind my eyes, and I fought to keep them back.
"I'm sorry."
But I couldn't stop them. They spilled over, hot and shameful, as everything I'd been holding back came pouring out.
"I'm sorry for being stupid, and attacking Theodore." I continued, the words tumbling out now. "For having a massive ego. For hurting you." My voice cracked. "For challenging Lucas like a child throwing a tantrum. For embarrassing you in front of everyone. For..."
"Aldric." Sera's voice cut through my spiral, but I couldn't stop.
"....for ruining our friendship. For being possessive and controlling and acting like I owned you. For using my mother's death as an excuse to try..."
"Aldric." Firmer now.
"...manipulate you. For not listening when you tried to talk to me. For...."
"Aldric!" Her hand touched the top of my head, and I finally fell silent.
I was crying openly now, shoulders shaking, unable to stop the tears that had been building for two years. All the shame and regret and self-loathing I'd carried came pouring out in broken sobs.
"You'll need to apologize to Lucas too," Sera said quietly.
I nodded against the floor, not trusting myself to speak.
"Look at me."
It took effort, but I raised my head. My vision was blurry with tears, but I could see Sera crouching down to my level now, her expression complex, not quite forgiveness, not hatred either. Something softer. Conflicted.
"I would give anything," I managed to choke out, "if we could just go back to the way we were before. Anything."
Sera's lips quirked in something almost like a sad smile. She reached out and patted my head gently, the same gesture she used to make when we were younger, before I'd destroyed everything.
"Saying that just makes you sound people-pleasing," she said, but there was no venom in it.
Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks.
"But," she continued, her hand still resting on my head, "I'll give you another chance. Simply because you've started working on yourself. Also... what I said about an apology being childish. That was a lie. It takes effort. I can at least acknowledge that."
I stared at her, barely daring to believe what I was hearing.
"Now sit up and tell me why you're really here," she said, straightening. "Because I doubt you came just to apologize, considering how surprised you seemed to be when you saw me."
I wiped my face with my sleeve, undignified, but I was past caring and sat back on my heels. "There's a first-year student named Marin Aldwick. He's caught Theodore's attention."
Sera's expression immediately darkened. "Theodore?"
I nodded. "Marin won't listen to me. My reputation is too tainted. But if you talked to him, warned him about Theodore, he might actually listen."
"You want me to intervene?"
"Please." I bowed my head again, this time in request rather than apology. "I can't save him alone."
Sera was quiet for a long moment. When I looked up, her expression had softened considerably.
"Alright," she said finally. "I'll talk to Marin. See if I can convince him to be careful around Theodore."
Relief crashed over me so intensely I nearly started crying again. "Thank you. Really, thank you so much..."
"Save it." But she was almost smiling now. "Just... try knocking next time, okay?"
I stood, bowing properly the formal noble bow this time, not the desperate dogeza. "I will, Senior Representative Blackwood."
"And Aldric?" She picked up her quill again, but glanced at me with something that might have been genuine warmth. "Oh and you can call me Sera. After all we're friends"
The words hit me like a physical force. Friends. She'd called us friends.
Maybe not the same as before.
But it was a start.
I practically floated back to my room. When I pushed open the door, both Asura and Maya looked up expectantly.
"Well?" Asura demanded. "Did you completely embarrass yourself? Maya wouldn't let me listen in on your conversation. She said it would ruin your confidence if laughed mid apology."
"Yes," I said honestly. "But it worked."
I collapsed onto my bed, emotionally exhausted but feeling lighter than I had in years. Maya flickered excitedly, and even Asura looked grudgingly impressed.
"Told you," the demon said, popping another lollipop into her mouth. "Sometimes you just have to shut up and apologize."
"Your coaching style is terrible," I muttered, but I was smiling.
"But effective." She grinned, showing her fangs. "Now get some sleep. You look like you've cried a week's worth of energy away."
I didn't argue. As I drifted off, I could still feel the ghost of Sera's hand on my head, and hear her words echoing in my mind
For the first time in a long time, I thought maybe, just maybe I could actually be better than I was.