Max appeared in front of the I.M.P. office in a flicker of crawling darkness.
The shadows peeled off him slowly, reluctant to let go.
"Huh," he muttered. "Guess being tied to Hell itself makes traveling pretty easy."
The building looked exactly like he remembered — crooked sign, cracked brick, and an aura of professional incompetence radiating from every window.
He opened the door.
Fire greeted him immediately.
A column of flame roared across the office like a dragon coughing up gasoline.
"Oh. Right," Max sighed, stepping casually aside as the blast passed him. "The eels."
Inside, chaos ruled.
Blitzo screamed something unintelligible. Moxxie shouted corrections no one listened to. Millie laughed like a demon on vacation. The client shrieked.
A second later, everyone burst out onto the street in a coughing, flaming pile.
Blitzo was already yelling at Moxxie while waving their terrified client away.
Loona leaned against the wall, scrolling on her phone like none of this concerned her in the slightest.
She glanced up.
"Oh. Hey, Max. Didn't expect you this early."
"Says the girl who sent forty-three texts this morning," Max replied, raising a brow. "Even Octavia doesn't spend that much time on her phone. She's probably just hiding from her parents yelling again."
Loona's ears flattened instantly.
A faint blush crept up her cheeks.
"…Shut up."
Blitzo spun around when he noticed Max.
"Oh look who finally showed up! You're late, playboy! Stay away from Loona and give her soul back!"
Max sighed. "Blitz, we have this argument every—"
Loona smacked Blitzo in the back of the head.
"It's not like that!" she barked. "And I could leave the contract anytime I want! I just… don't."
Blitzo rubbed his head, glaring. "Fine! Whatever! We'll talk about this later. Please tell me the book didn't burn!"
Loona pulled the grimoire from her bag, already flipping to the correct page.
A portal hissed open in midair.
"I'll stay with Loona. You guys can—" Max started.
Blitzo grabbed him by the collar.
"Yeah, not fucking likely."
Max was dragged through the portal.
Reality snapped.
They landed outside the infamous hillbilly family's house.
Blitzo immediately set up his sniper rifle.
"Alright, let's wrap this up—"
He fired.
The bullet missed.
A shotgun blast tore through the wall in retaliation.
Blitzo screamed and dove for cover. Max sidestepped lazily. The pellets passed through his shadow like rain through smoke.
"Moxxie, you dumbass!" Blitzo roared.
Chaos detonated.
Millie charged the house like a gleeful war crime. Moxxie tripped into a bush. Blitzo vanished behind a shed.
Max walked calmly into the forest.
Darkness wrapped around him like a second skin.
Even the moonlight avoided him.
No one could see him.
Just let the timeline play out, he reminded himself.
Too many changes too early and future knowledge becomes useless.
He watched from the shadows as the familiar disaster unfolded. Moxxie's panic. Millie's brutality. Blitzo's screaming.
Seeing it in person felt surreal.
From the cabin came Stolas's voice through the phone — loud, explicit, and aggressively flirtatious.
Max cringed.
"Dear God. And he's not even from Lust. That's impressive and concerning."
A memory surfaced. A tool he hadn't tested yet.
"Open Hell's Registry."
A colossal demonic book erupted from the air in front of him. Pages flipped violently, ink rearranging itself into names.
He skimmed.
"Vortex…"
The book turned.
"Good. Still alive. Dating Verosika. Huh. Good for him."
The registry dissolved into black mist.
Max leaned against a tree, thinking.
Bee and Loona fought over him constantly.
Stolas despised the idea of him dating Octavia.
Blitzo hated that he was with Loona.
Charlie and Vaggie tried to be supportive, but the adjustment was obvious.
Millie… he refused to touch that situation. Some lines didn't get crossed.
"Could be worse," Max muttered. "At least nobody's trapped. The contract prevents anything toxic."
The timeline shifted.
The moment arrived.
The hillbilly woman aimed her gun at Blitzo and the tied-up Millie.
Max stepped forward to intervene—
BANG.
Moxxie shot first.
The woman dropped instantly.
"Oh," Max shrugged. "Guess I'm the useless one this episode."
Moxxie reunited with Millie. Blitzo yelled something celebratory and profane.
Moxxie turned toward the portal.
Max stepped out of the shadows.
"Well look who's here," Blitzo sneered. "The useless fuck who did nothing but hide."
"You never gave me a gun," Max replied calmly. "I'm just a sinner. I can't do much without equipment."
Blitzo rolled his eyes and stomped through the portal.
Moxxie hesitated.
"I should make sure the rest of the family doesn't—"
"I've got it," Max said gently. "Go with Millie."
Millie didn't wait for permission. She dragged Moxxie through the portal.
"Hurry up!" Blitzo shouted. "Can't hold it open forever!"
"You can close it," Max called back. "Worst case, I text Loona."
The portal sealed.
Silence swallowed the woods.
Max walked toward the house slowly.
"If I didn't already know how the police would screw this up…" he muttered. "Nah. Who am I kidding. They deserve this."
He raised a hand.
"[Implosion]."
The house folded inward like crushed paper.
No explosion.
No fire.
Just silence and gravity obeying him.
The structure collapsed into itself, erasing everything inside.
"Well. That's done."
He snapped his fingers and opened a portal back to Hell.
Blitzo was waiting, arms crossed.
"How the hell did you make a portal without the book?!"
Max froze.
Right.
Only royalty could memorize that spell. Lucifer's enchantment wiped it from everyone else's mind.
He improvised.
"I can memorize a spell once and use it one time before forgetting," Max said. "A trick Olivia taught me."
Blitzo blinked.
"…That explains nothing. But fine."
Max turned to Loona.
"You coming to the get-together? Charlie planned it."
Loona huffed.
"Why? So I can watch my boyfriend hang out with four other girlfriends?"
Her ears drooped.
"…Fine. I'll go."
"Thanks, Loona."
He kissed the top of her head gently.
She turned bright red and shoved him away.
"D–don't do that in front of Blitz!"
Max laughed.
"Enjoy the victory party. I promised Charlie I'd help at the hotel tonight."
He stepped into the corner where the light didn't reach.
Shadows rose to meet him.
Then he was gone.