Max arrived at the familiar rusty door of IMP Headquarters, hand raised to knock—
BANG!
A bullet ripped straight through the door and whizzed past his cheek.
Max froze.
"…Yep," he muttered, "this is definitely the right place."
He leaned forward and peeked through the newly formed hole.
Inside was chaos.
Moxxie and Loona were wrestling a gun out of Blitzo's hands while Blitzo screamed at the top of his lungs.
"STOP! I am trying to kill the bastard who tricked my Loony into a relationship!" Blitzo shouted, firing wildly into the ceiling.
"STOP SHOOTING!" Moxxie barked, clinging to the barrel for dear life.
Loona yanked the gun the other way.
"It was a MUTUAL engagement, you idiot! Also I'm STILL mad you ate the leftovers he made me!"
From the couch, Millie sipped her coffee like this was her morning cartoon. When she noticed Max at the door, she waved casually.
Max pushed the door open.
"Overbearing Dad," he greeted cheerfully. "Hi Blitzo!"
"THERE YOU ARE!" Blitzo screeched, immediately dropping the gun to grab Max by the collar—except Max simply lifted him one-handed, leaving Blitzo's legs kicking in the air.
"YOU PIECE OF SHIT! GIVE ME MY LOONA BACK!"
Millie clapped her hands together, beaming. "Congratulations on your engagements, Max! You two make such a precious pair. Like a cute tall scary wolf and a cute angry wolf."
Loona, embarrassed, growled softly, snatched her phone, and stormed to her room.
Max set Blitzo back on his feet like placing down a toddler.
"Blitzo, buddy, listen. I'm not giving Loona up. Asmodeus himself signed the papers. Nothing was forced. And I'll take good care of her — I promise."
Blitzo glared, dusted his coat dramatically, and tried to reclaim some dignity.
"Fine. FIIINE. But the wedding isn't happening for a long time, you hear me?! I will find something on you! Some dirt! Some skeleton! Some tax fraud!"
He stomped off like an angry raccoon.
Max called after him, "I'm inviting Loona to move into the hotel!"
Blitzo's reply from inside his office was a rapid-fire explosion of profanity so intense that even the walls looked offended.
Max smirked.
He chatted with Moxxie and Millie for a while. Millie gave the kind of relationship advice that sounded like it came from a loving farm wife who also happened to have several murder charges.
Eventually, Loona returned—tail swishing, ears lowered, holding two luggage bags and one very overstuffed duffel.
"Ready to go," she mumbled, shy in a way she never let strangers see. "I can still visit, right?"
Max smiled warmly. "My moon, of course. And I'll handle all transportation. Your room here isn't going anywhere. Knowing Blitzo, he won't clean it out for the next fifty years. You'll be here for holidays, family dinners, everything."
Millie made a soft squealing noise in the background.
Max tapped the floor and all of Loona's bags sank into his shadow, vanishing safely away.
Loona blinked. "Still not used to that…"
Max offered his arm. "Shall we?"
Loona hooked her arm around his. "Yeah. So… what should we do now?" Her stomach growled loudly. She winced. "Also… do you have any food left?"
"Nope." Max grimaced. "Bee finished all the leftovers. But I've still got some meat and stuff. How does a cookout date sound?"
Loona's ears perked.
"Perfect. You know I'm not into fancy places all the time."
They walked through the streets of Pentagram City, searching for a quiet spot — which proved difficult because:
• One area had three imps stabbing each other over a coupon
• Another had a demon vomiting on the sidewalk
• Another had someone setting the sidewalk on fire
• And the rest had too many drunks or too much screaming
Loona sighed. "Hell really needs parks."
Max scratched his chin. "We could go to the human realm. I know a few secluded spots."
Loona paused, torn for a second… then shook her head.
"Nah. Let's just go to the hotel. There's gotta be a decent area behind it."
Max nodded. "Grab my arm."
She did.
He teleported.
Loona dropped to one knee as soon as they landed. "UGH—warn me before you do that again."
"Sorry. First time with a passenger," Max said, helping her stand.
He checked his watch. "Let's head behind the hotel. Somewhere out of sight, so we don't interfere with any customers Charlie might get."
Loona snorted. "She doesn't get any customers. It's kinda sad, but… Hell is Hell."
They walked behind the hotel, into the wide, dusty lot just beyond the back door. For Hell, it wasn't half bad. A few rocks, a half-dead tree, an abandoned billboard, and a patch of ground that didn't have bloodstains.
Max summoned a grill from the shadows.
Loona lit a cigarette and smirked.
"Not bad, wolf boy. Let's see if you can cook meat as well as you make breakfast."
Max grinned and cracked his knuckles.
"Challenge accepted."