I sigh out loud as I see the system notification.
I sigh out loud as I see my battered body.
It's been a while since I said it right? But damn, what a great day this is, I should definetly invest into gambling because of how fucking lucky I am, really, I think that's a smart idea.
So when I'm out of this tutorial, after getting home. I'm gonna do the smart thing and gamble all my life savings! Of course, the day I gamble everything will be a GREAT day!
So I'll probably lose all of it.
Devlop a gambling addiction.
And drown the new sucidal thoughts I'll gain from this horrible life with drugs till I overdose in a bathroom.
I look around.
A bathroom just like that! Nondescript, ugly, no personality, perfect place to have an overdose.
What the fuck am I saying?
Squatting down with a wince only now do I realise how fucking crazy my new life is, beating up giant boars, pummeling goblins, butchering orcs, all to shove myself in a white bathroom, no shirt, pants halfway up to see my injuries and do some kind of fortune healing.
I should have learned first aid.
Getting my mind back on track, I ignore the whole 'yeah yeah, so your mind and body probably will shift and change strangely....sooo...uh be careful!' And focus on the nasty bleeding scratches on my knees and shins....are those rocks?
What a great day really.
Taking one of the piece of cloth from earlier....wait I've been looting these from beds.
Is it a good idea to wipe my injuries with them?
Meeeeeeeh
A good splash of water and a lot of hoping will do.
Alright, alright, I know hoping isn't a smart thing, I know dear father wouldn't approve, but seriously!
Give me some slack already, at least I'm doing something instead of just lying down somewhere and letting my body do all the work while I sleep or some shit.
Letting some water flow on my injury, a small hiss get out of my mouth before I shut up.
And just kind of stare at the water flowing on my knees, cleaning my injuries.
I don't let out any more reactions.
Pain is nothin-! A big hiss.
Alright, so, using cloth to try and wipe an open wound hurt, who could have guessed?
Rolling my eyes at myself, I zone out and keep cleaning as much as I can. All while thinking about the real problem, the real problem that is just in front of me.
[For your safety, avoid using a whole point during an intense situation, such as in a fight, or filled with emotions.
Side effects, ranging from distinct personality changes, emotional changes, or abnormal growth could happen.
In function of where the point is invested and the situation, for more information please read [you do not possess the necessary clearance] ]
Yeah, that problem.
Those wounds will heal. Maybe with a scar.
But this 'distinct personality change' though?
I'm confident about that.
I hate shit that mess with my brain.
Break my arm or something, that's better.
I wipe a particularly annoying dirty spot on my shin. It hurt.
You know what, don't break my arm. Just, don't do anything to me really, can't we just talk my man?
[You do not possess the necessary clearance]
Fuck.
Alright, this is bad, I know, I know, this is real bad.
However, thankfully, it's not the first time I face difficult situations! I was raaaaaised by them!
So I know exactly what to do!
Want to know what?
Absolutely-fucking-nothing.
What, shocked?
Did you really thought I had some sort of super duper insane plan, or I was going to propose something relatively smart?
Well, you're wrong.
My left hand grab the back of my calf, keeping my leg still as I wipe it as best as I can. Just slightly tapping the injuries. It freeze for a second, wondering about my own words.
Well, I guess you're not, totally, totally wrong, I won't exactly do nothing.
I'll do the kind of nothing I was always planning on doing, since I learned about the system.
This kind of nothing.
What? Don't you see I'm busy doing a bandage right now? What do you mean you want more details?
I mean, what do you want me to say? I'm making knots around my le-! What do you mean not about that?
You want details bout the 'nothing'?
Wait wait, didn't I already talked about it before?
You know, in bed before I was gonna sleep, after I got the first free point? And after Jenna got her skill?
Did you really forgot?
Haaaaaaaaaaaa, what would you do without me?
Alright, I'll tell you again, slowly but surely, I'll explain alllll of my reasoning since you seems to need it.
I won't do anything, because I have absolutely, no fucking information about that system.
Look, the whole...using that point was a mistake, an error, a dumb idea caused by those dumb personality changes the system's talking about.
In a normal situation, I would never, and I mean never, would have used that point.
Proof is, look at what it said! [abormal growth] Really? Really? Who want abnormal growth? I'll tell you what abnormal growth means, dwarves are abormal growths.
YES, YES THEY ARE!
Do I wanna be a dwarf? Look at those biceps! I DON'T!
Alright alright, I feel like you're judging me so I'll give you more examples.
Do you know what else is abnormal growth? It's having two heads! See those reportages about malformed twins? I DON'T WANT A TWIN, JUST IMAGINE DEALING WITH MYSELF! Dying would be prefferable.
Alright you want another example? Just to reallllly sell you in? You know what else is abnormal growth?
Cancer.
Alright alright, now, DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE CANCER!? Please, even Harley Quinn apologized after giving someone cancer, that's just, you don't strive to get cancer, simple.
That's why, for the sake of not being a dwarf, with a malformed twin, and cancer I won't do anything.
Like litterally, just let me heal my injuries in fucking peace. Don't you just want to listen to me talking about I'm sliding my pants back down? Just over the bandages I made? It's interesting I swear.
Look look, I'll prove it.
My hands pull down th-!Shit that hurt!
The pants put pressure on my ugly bandage, and my injuries, should I just walk around like my pants is a shorts?
Urgh, see what I mean?
I have way too much to think about in real life right now, extremely important pants related dillemas.
I don't have time to think about becoming a madman, another person all together, or being a malformed dwarf with cancer.
Oh yeah, oh yeah! But look, that's a whole different world! A world with monsters, and the possibility to be super dupe-! I DON'T FUCKING CARE! I DON'T FUCKING CARE!
Different cultures? Different worlds? Different life? Power power sweet power? I don't fucking care!
All I want, is to be myself, get back home for only one night, eat some random unhealthy fried oily shit, sleep for two days straight, and go back to my normal life!
I'm not a fucking bitch, I have a life, and I FUCKING LIKE IT, I don't want to fight in whatever this dumb tutorial is. Whether it's an intergalactical war or some dumb alien game show, I want no part in it! I already have plans, multiples, I know what I want to do in my life and it doesn't involve a fucking fantasy like system!
But, but, but, you could change your life! AND I DON'T CARE!
I don't care!
I'm not like you, you fucking no life. Wow! There is a fucking cataclysmic event that happened? Wow! You can finally change your pathetic life and rid your fingers out of cheetos dust?
Good for you! But me, I have shit to do, and none of them are related to be a cliché novel overpowered fucking nerd that catch a harem.
But, alie-! Just, come talk to me about aliens when they make some delicious food for me to try.
...Sorry man. Sorry me, I'm just...a bit touchy today.
That's just, that's just because of all of those questions you know? I just know what to do, and I'll do it, that's all.
That's all, that's what I'll do.
I'll win this tutorial, get back home, and we'll see then.
Yes, I know those points are powerful.
I couldn't move like that before, I know they changed me, somehow, someway.
Made me stronger.
I know, I know dad would be like.
'Ludgeeeeer, give worth to your bloodline, take the pooooower, win and crush everything.'
And I agree, I really really do, but. Like I said, he always was a bit too much over the top.
And even if I wouldn't say no to becoming stronger, I wouldn't risk my current self! Or take that many risks for it, especially when I already have important things to do.
So sorry, not sorry. Skills, farms, power, allllllll of you!
Allll of you!
Will take a heavy damn step back while I finish this tutorial
Yes, even if I miss opportunities, I don't want you! Yes you! You pathetic fucking narration, to say even anything, ANYTHING, about it.
Just, just don't.
Finally finished with my rudimentary healing, and monologue, I get back up with a wince, shaking my legs to see how they feel.
One step, two steps.
It hurts but that's managable, the worse is my upperbody and shoulder, but it should heal soon enough.
Taking my shirt back, I throw it on the ground, ready to clean it.
The water bottle appear with a thought. Grabbing it make me remember how I'm bottling up all those feelings I don't want to face.
Fucking coward.
Fucking bitch ass system, I never asked for a status.
[Ludger emellini
-body: 10
-mind: 10
-magic: 2
Essence: 25/100
Tier: tutorial attendee
1 free point.
____
Titles: Homocidal
________
Skills:]
Urgh, are you dumb I didn't mean stat-! A hungry feeling, one I'm familiar with come back with vengence.
It coils behind my gut, climbing like a serpent, like an hungry worm eating everything inside me.
It climb up, reaching behind my throat. Clawing there. Staying there. Stuck and ready to spout poison.
My fingers twitch like a fucking addict.
It spout out in my mind.
Since when do I have another free point now?