Day Ten
I wish I could turn back time to escape this damned war, no matter what I did to amuse myself after seeing a sight I will never forget in my life.
At the same time, I was indifferent to what was happening around me. I just sat there in fear, not knowing what to do — merely imagining it was impossible.
Have we lost what made us human? So many corpses reduced to pieces of flesh… I looked at them, bodies decomposing, even the blood flowing through the crowd, covering the ground.
How can they look on so indifferently? A stranger pressed on my shoulder, and from the way he looked at me, I knew he had come as an advisor. He told me that my shock was expected and that I would get used to these scenes.
Ha! Me, "get used to these scenes"? How laughable. That warrior didn't know that I am afraid of blood, and that overcoming my fear is impossible.
My wish was simple: I didn't want to become a great samurai, nor a genius. I didn't even care about my fear of blood; I just wanted to live my life as usual. Yet, when dragged into the war, I didn't flee. Not because of determination, but because I realized running away would lead me to worse.
When we heard we were being sent to the battlefield by force, forty warriors left my city. I didn't know how to act — I just watched. Some remained silent, simply waiting. Others had ambitions to become great warriors and earn the title of samurai.
Day after day, their dreams crumbled, realizing they would never be great, no matter what they did. For me, I just miscounted the days, waiting for this war to end so I could escape.
Those with me asked why I was shocked by what I saw. "We've witnessed similar scenes before, haven't we?"
They didn't understand the reason for their deaths. They didn't die at the hands of monsters, but by those around them — their blood spilled by comrades, driven by suspicion that they were monsters. Some began changing in behavior, so they were killed. When their peers realized their mistake, they discarded them as if they were no longer the companions who had protected them in this war.
I thought about it and couldn't sleep. Would they do the same to me if my actions differed from the norm? Had the war made them fools? Had they forgotten that we are humans, not dolls? That we act freely, and some of us have changed? Fools among my companions, cowards.
I will end this page with a single sentence:
"Trust no one. Trust not your brother, trust not your friend, trust not your kin. Reveal their true nature only when placed between life and death, and then you will see them as monsters."
Day Seventeen
I suffered a bout of depression two days ago due to a major event that changed the atmosphere of the war. The sheer number of burned corpses created black clouds that covered the sky, blocking sunlight, and the strong smell of sulfur spread across the continent.
I am now experiencing a state similar to most who came before me — a sense of being lost, questioning whether this war, lasting one hundred seventy years, would ever end. A war spanning over a decade and a half, destined to continue for another two decades? No, only a miracle could stop it.
I endured all kinds of ridicule for my fear of blood. It made me feel like the only one afraid while others were fearless. I endured ridicule for my weak ambition, ridicule for my life. I realized the black cloud wasn't created from burning corpses, but to show that we are not light in the darkness; we are scoundrels, trapped in darkness to reveal what is within us.
After a week, I stopped counting the days and discovered many things about the monsters.
The deformed monsters cannot see or hear; they attack randomly, so they are easy to kill. Monsters that changed their form are intelligent, but they have a fatal flaw — a part of their body is deformed.
I presented this information to the delegation that came. Upon reading it, they thanked me and said I would be the reason to save many lives. As a reward, they told me I could make one request, and they would try to fulfill it.
At that moment, I wanted to scream and repeat one word: Return. Yet, I knew it was impossible. So, I asked them for a leave — a one-week leave in the nearest village. My request was a temporary escape from this war, but I was satisfied with it.
Villages close to the war receive protection and are fortified against monsters.
Two Days Later
I went to the village. For the first two days, I felt calm and at peace. But on the third day, something happened that made me wish I had stayed and not requested leave. In the afternoon, I was sitting with a girl whose parents asked me to accompany her out of fear for her safety.
Everything was normal until the small scorpion struck four o'clock, producing a strange, terrifying sound:
"Bon… Bon… Bon." The sound resembled the beating of worn-out drums, accompanied by laughter and whispers of a woman.
I hurried to take the girl, but the sound repeated:
"Bon… Bon… Bon." The wind intensified, doors slammed, and before I could comprehend, I saw a shadow of a large body. I was terrified without seeing its owner. I looked at the girl's face — fear and horror overtook her expression.
I lifted my head and was shocked to see a woman with long legs, gray skin, hair covered in blood, gray lips, a long mouth with a frightening smile. The most terrifying part: her hands were long and thin, the fingers string-like and thick.
She approached us, wearing a hat that obscured her eyes, repeating the sound:
"Bon… Bon… Bon… Bon… Bon… Bon."
Immediately, I grabbed the girl and ran. I cannot describe the fear I felt, especially when I glanced back and saw her vanish as if she had never existed, after looking at the girl.
Moments later, I ran holding the girl, not knowing what to do, only running to save her. I reached her house and hurried to tell her parents. Her mother's face had turned pale; I realized the matter was serious. I calmly explained what happened, expecting them to tell me the reason for their panic, knowing I had seen many monsters and could help.
However, the father told me it wasn't related to monsters and was more complicated than I expected, and he had to leave.
From my view of her parents, I saw their unwillingness to speak. Did they think I would ignore it and pretend I hadn't seen anything?
Moments after leaving their house, I rushed to the village gate and met a samurai. I had given him my greeting and told him what happened. Immediately, upon hearing, he and the others rushed to the girl's house, and I went with them.
When the father realized samurai were with me, he understood that refusing an order from a samurai would result in severe consequences.
In a moment, he told us about the woman: she was an ancient yokai, a hundred years old. Many children had disappeared because of her. She was said to have been a beautiful woman living in the village until bandits attacked. She was killed gruesomely: her limbs cut, her hair pulled, she was hanged, and her tongue cut. Sadly, some children witnessed this and fled without helping her. Two days later, the bandits disappeared, and a month later, their bones were found.
Everything went normally until children gradually began to disappear, and no one knew why. The villagers sought the help of a priest, who built three temples to protect the village. The villagers only had to sprinkle salt every five years. After a hundred years, the temples were neglected due to the Hundred Years' War, which occurred at the wrong time.
Upon hearing the story, I realized the villagers tried to hide it to protect their image and reputation.
Damn those who remain silent on matters that shouldn't be silenced out of fear of others' reactions. They don't realize that no matter how much they try to hide it, your crime will appear if buried in the core of the world.
By chance, because of the war, the villagers could not go to the temples, exposing their grave crime. Why? I accuse the villagers and the bandits of her death. Those who remain silent on a crime become complicit. The villagers abandoned her, even their children took mercy from their hearts and left.
It was no coincidence that I went to this village. I didn't go without purpose. I went to uncover a truly ugly secret that had been covered up and to save a girl from a horrific death. I knew her parents would leave her to die without investigating, prioritizing their own convenience over their daughter's safety.
Yes, I didn't aspire to anything or set an important goal at that time. But that day, I decided I would try to protect this girl from a gruesome fate.
End of Chapter