The first week of their second year at hogwarts did not introduce to much more than they had already gotten used to just months prior.
Charms under Professor Flitwick had then learning more advanced forms of their first year charms, while newer ones would be learnt later on.
Transfiguration, had them taking a big leap forwards, turning animals into wortgobblets.
A significant jump from inanimate to inanimate object of the first years term.
But today, well today was set to be an auspcious day to say the least.
First thing in the morning they had double DADA, with potions in the afternoon.
Cassius Snape walked with the rest of House Draconis through the castle corridors as they headed for the listed classroom on their course schedule, his robe hem swaying with every measured stride.
Behind him trailed Cho Chang, already tying her hair back for expected dueling practice; Daphne Greengrass, still yawning delicately into her sleeve; and Hermione Granger, balancing a stack of books so tall it might have been a hazard.
"Defence Against the Dark Arts first thing in the morning," Cho said, stretching her arms. "Could be worse."
"Could be better," Daphne countered. "Rumor is, this new professor is all charm and no talent."
Hermione frowned as if someone had insulted her personal deity. "Professor Lockhart is a five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, author of twelve books on his own encounters with dark creatures, and—"
Cassius interrupted dryly, "—and entirely self-absorbed. You forgot that part."
Cho snickered behind her hand, and even Daphne cracked a faint grin.
Hermione huffed. "You can't know that."
"Oh, I can," Cassius murmured, eyes glinting faintly. "You have read his books right?"
"Of course!" Hermione happily responded.
"So you don't find anything wrong with them?"
"Wrong, what to be wrong they are just brilliant!" She once more happily replied.
Cassius stopped his walking, only to sigh pinching the bridge of his nose, before placing an arm on her dainty shoulder.
"I hate to break it to your Hermione, but those books aren't his works..." Cassius dropped a bomb, which caused all three to pull :O faces.
"No!-"
She started to respond in his defence but cassius held his gaze.
"Don't you find it odd, that he was dealing with both Vampires, and Werewolves at the same time, on complete opposite ends of the planet?"
"""..."""
Then there were his first 'real' two books, he spent three years dealing with the Banshee, and yet, as stated in his third book he was already well into the process of hanging out with the Ghouls of the far north.
"""..."""
There was just stunned silence, with Cho and Daphne slowly agreeing and nodding their heads in acceptance while tears were welling up in Hermione's eyes as she desperately clung to her belief in the new professor and his credentials.
With his work complete, and damage done.
They entered the Defence classroom, which looked less like a place of learning and more like a shrine.
Every inch of the walls was plastered with glossy, autographed photographs of Gilderoy Lockhart.
Each image smiled, winked, and occasionally blew a kiss to passing students.
A faint perfume—something floral and nauseatingly sweet—hung in the air.
A large gilded sign near the blackboard read in swooping gold letters: "Welcome, Future Protectors of the Light!"
At the front stood the man himself—Gilderoy Lockhart, resplendent in lilac robes that shimmered faintly under the enchanted torches.
His blond hair gleamed like polished gold, his teeth rivaled his cufflinks for brightness, and his self-satisfaction filled the room as palpably as magic.
"Ah! Students!" he cried as the last stragglers entered. "Welcome, welcome indeed! Sit wherever you like—though I daresay the front row will be most… rewarding!"
Cassius took a seat toward the back, between Daphne and Cho.
Hermione, predictably, went straight for the front.
Lockhart spread his arms theatrically.
"For those of you who haven't yet had the pleasure, I am—of course—Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award!"
He paused expectantly, waiting for applause.
Only Hermione and a few other young witches clapped.
Lockhart's grin faltered briefly, then returned twice as bright.
"Modesty forbids me from saying more, but suffice to say—you are in capable hands."
Daphne whispered under her breath, "I'd rather be in a werewolf's claws."
Cassius smirked.
Lockhart continued undeterred, pacing the front of the classroom like a stage actor.
"Now, before we dive into the exciting world of dark creature combat, let us address the most important question of all—what is courage?"
A hand shot up immediately. Hermione's.
"Miss—ah—Granger, was it? Delightful! Tell me, what is courage?"
"Standing up to evil," she said promptly, "even when you're afraid."
Lockhart clapped his hands. "Excellent answer! And a concept I know very well. Why, it reminds me of the time I faced down a ghoul in Transylvania—horrid creature, breath like rotting cabbage, claws like razors—"
And off he went.
For the next twenty minutes, the class was less a lesson and more an endless stream of Lockhart anecdotes.
He'd fought banshees in Ireland ("They adore my voice, you see"), outwitted werewolves in Yorkshire ("I had to use my signature smile to distract it"), and subdued a band of Cornish pixies with nothing but charm and quick thinking ("Well—mostly charm").
Each story came with exaggerated hand gestures, dramatic pauses, and—at least once—a brief pose for his own portrait, which winked approvingly from the wall.
Even going so far as to pull a few students from the audience to pull off a little skit about the events depicted in one of his books.
Cassius leaned back in his chair, chin resting on one hand.
"Do you think he rehearses this in front of a mirror?" he murmured to Cho.
"He is the mirror," Cho whispered back her own personal belief having been completly shattered seeing the man before her now for what he really was... a fake.
Hermione, oblivious to the sarcasm being far enough away to not be able to hear it, hung on every word spoken by the false professor.
When Lockhart reached the part about curing a witch from a curse that turned her hair into live serpents, Daphne muttered, "I wish one of them had bitten him."
Cassius chuckled softly. "Careful. He might hear your blasphemy and turn it into his next bestseller—'The Girl Who Doubted Me.'"
Lockhart clapped his hands once, startling half the class up from the coma's they had started to enter.
"And now, my dear students, I believe it's time to see how well you've all acquainted yourselves with your teacher!"
A groan rippled through the room.
"Yes, yes, I know," Lockhart said cheerfully, reaching behind his desk to produce a stack of parchment so thick it could stop a curse.
"Pop quiz! Nothing to fret about. A simple little test to help me understand what sort of students I'll be working with this year."
Cassius arched an eyebrow. "Pop quiz on the first day. How… inspiring."
Lockhart beamed as he began handing them out.
"You'll find it perfectly painless. Two hundred questions—easy ones, really."
Hermione took hers eagerly.
Ron groaned audibly behind her.
Cassius received his sheef of parchment, scanning the first page—and immediately stifled a laugh.
1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
3. What would Gilderoy Lockhart most like for his birthday?
4. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's ideal holiday destination?
5. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday (and why is it significant to the wizarding world)?
Cassius's quill hovered motionless above the page.
"Oh, this is going to be fun," he whispered.
Daphne leaned over, having already spun her test around thinking she'd been reading it mistakenly upside down.
"You're joking. These aren't real."
"They are," Cassius said dryly, flipping ahead. "Question eighty-seven: Which of Gilderoy Lockhart's books best demonstrates his moral courage? Question one-hundred-forty-two: Describe, in detail, Gilderoy Lockhart's most heroic smile."
Cho bit her lip to keep from laughing. "You think he'll grade these?"
"Oh, undoubtedly," Cassius said, "and likely base our marks on flattery."
Lockhart paced between the rows, hands clasped behind his back. "Remember, class—no cheating, no peeking! I want to see who truly knows me best!"
Cassius muttered, "Therapists everywhere just sensed a disturbance in the Force."
Daphne snorted loudly, earning a sharp look from Lockhart, not that she actually understood his quip only found anything in this situation hilarious.
"Something amusing, Miss Greengrass?"
"Just your—ah—enthusiasm, Professor," she said smoothly.
"Wonderful! Keep it up," Lockhart said, oblivious to her tone.
As quills scratched reluctantly across parchment, the room filled with a faint, resigned silence.
Only Hermione looked genuinely focused, her brow furrowed in concentration as she filled line after line with enthusiastic answers.
When time was nearly up, Lockhart collected the parchments with exaggerated care.
"Splendid effort, everyone! I'll be marking these later—though I suspect a few of you," he said, giving Hermione a dazzling smile, "already know me quite well."
This move just had Cassius raising his brows wishing he could bring in an audio recorder to catch that statement and report lockheart to the ministry for child solicitation, i mean honestly as big a blow hard as he is... You can just say something suggestive like that to CHILDREN!!!!