"Misaki-chan, come with us!" Tohru chirped, grabbing my wrist with all the gentle force of a deceptively strong puppy. "Let's go home together!"
"Eh?! No, I- I-I'm good! You three go ahead, I'll just- uh- wander!"
Tohru blinked, confused. "Wander where?"
"…Away?" I tried weakly.
But Tohru wasn't having it. She pulled me along like I weighed nothing. "Come, come, come!"
"TOHRU, PLEASE, I'M FRAGILE-"
Behind us, Kyo walked silently with his hands shoved in his pockets… but every few steps I caught him glancing at me.
Like he was checking if Tohru was dragging me too hard.
Or if I'd suddenly bolt into the forest.
It was cute.
Not that I'd say that out loud I enjoyed living.
By the time we reached the Sohma house, I had accepted my fate. Tohru opened the sliding door cheerfully, "We're home-!!"
And then we froze.
All of us.
The kitchen…
looked…
Destroyed.
Bowls shattered across the floor.
Vegetable scraps everywhere.
Sauce dripping down the counter like a horror movie scene.
Flour dusting the air like someone summoned a ghost.
Even I, a certified chaos-loving gremlin, went pale.
"I'm messy," I whispered, horrified, "but even that is a whole new level for me…"
A sad voice echoed from inside the chaos pit.
"Ah… you're back…"
Shigure sat on the kitchen floor surrounded by the ruins of culinary civilization, like a defeated old samurai who'd lost one too many wars.
Yuki stepped forward first, expression flat, eyes dead. "What the hell are you doing? Do you want to break the damn house?"
Shigure perked up. "Ah, Yuki~~, welcome home! Don't mind this~"
"How can we NOT mind this?!" Yuki snapped.
Kyo sighed so deeply it sounded like his soul left his body. "This is so dumb…"
Tohru's eyes swirled like spirals. "U-Um… umm… Sh-Shigure-san… what… happened?"
Shigure brightened up dramatically. "Tohru-kun! You're just in time to save me!"
"Oh-! I'll help!" she said instantly, eyes sparkling as she stepped into the mess without hesitation.
I stared at her in disbelief.
How.
How does she say yes to ANY chore?
Is she an angel?
A martyr?
A domestic goddess?
shigure then looked at me with pleading eyes
Out loud, I said firmly, "Yep. Not doing that."
He looked like a defeated puppy
I turned around, walked straight to the table, sat down, and put my head on it like I was done with life.
Kyo crossed his arms. "Not me either."
He walked over and sat across from me not too close, not too far, just within comfortable grumbling distance.
Yuki rubbed his temples, defeated. "I'll help."
"Bless your soul, Prince Charming," Shigure sang.
Shigure shuffled over dramatically and sat on my other side across the table. "Thank you, Yuki-kun…! I just wanted to surprise everyone…!!" he fake cried, rubbing his eyes.
I stared at him with the flattest, most unimpressed face I could manage.
"Are you serious right now?"
Shigure sniffled. "I just… sniff… wanted to celebrate…"
"Celebrate what, exactly?" I deadpanned.
He wiped his fake tear, sat up straight, and smiled with all the pride of a man who didn't just destroy his own kitchen.
"Oh, to congratulate you and Kyo on starting school tomorrow."
My brain froze.
"…Oh. I see. I-"
Then realization hit me like a brick.
"WAIT WHAT?!"
Kyo and I shouted in perfect unison
"WHAT?!"
Shigure pointed at us like some cheesy talk-show host. "A wonderful synchronicity. Truly, youth is beautiful."
"Tohru?!" I turned to her desperately. "Is this true?!"
She smiled apologetically from inside the battlefield of pots and pans. "Ah… yes… Shigure-san filled out some forms last night… and the school already approved you!"
"What?!" I screeched. "I didn't sign anything! I didn't even see the form!!" Then I thought to myslef not to mention the fact that i didnt even exist in this world techincally
Shigure raised a finger. "I forged your handwriting."
"SHIGURE. THAT IS NOT OKAY."
He held up his hands. "It was for your future. I did it with love."
"That makes it worse!"
Meanwhile-
"AHEM."
Yuki's voice cut through the chaos like a sword.
"Misaki-san is fine. She's capable and responsible."
Then his eyes sharpened into icy daggers.
"But I refuse to go to school with the cat."
The room went dead silent.
I slowly turned toward Kyo.
The air prickled.
And then-
"What did you say?!" Kyo exploded, shoving up from the table.
"I'm not going anywhere with a damn RAT!"
"Oh? And I'm supposed to tolerate a wild animal in my homeroom?" Yuki snapped right back.
"Bring it on, rodent!"
"Any time, stray cat."
"You wanna go RIGHT NOW?!"
I pressed my forehead to the table again. " oh well ofc this was going to happen"
Tohru shrieked softly, waving her hands. "K-Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, please-! Fighting in the house-!"
"They're gonna break the table," I muttered.
"They always do," Shigure sighed.
The cat and mouse duo kept barking and snapping at each other like a dysfunctional nature documentary.
Finally, I stood up, cupped my hands around my mouth, thinking yes i can stop this and yelled
"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!"
They froze.
Even Shigure jumped.
I exhaled dramatically. "Can we all be breatheeee for a minute?"
Kyo pointed at me. "He started it!"
Yuki scoffed. "Childish."
"Oh my god," I groaned.
Tohru giggled nervously. "Ah… Misaki-chan really is amazing…"
I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or a gentle cry for help.
Shigure clapped his hands suddenly. "Alright! Everyone calm down. Misaki-chan will attend school starting tomorrow. Kyo will also attend. Yuki is already attending. Problem solved!"
"That solves NOTHING," all three of us said at once.
Shigure laughed brightly. "Oh? Democracy! Lovely."
I dragged my hands down my face. "This house is insane…"
But despite the yelling, the mess, the chaos, the nonsense…
My heart felt warm.
Like somehow…
this disorder was exactly where i would love to stay