Erika crouches in a garden she knows too well.
Her eyes hurt from holding whatever is threatening to spill.
She doesn't even know she is biting her lips until the copper taste hits her.
In her hand is a watering can. The only one she keeps. Her personal one.
Too small for her. She has to go back and forth from the basin to the plant.
It's her fifth round now.
The water rains down to the roses in front of her. A few of them blooming beautifully.
Wohl. A rose grown from single lineage from the first one she planted since she was a child.
Glyphs, magic, a bigger can. Any of those would be faster.
Yet she always goes with the same can. Every single day. No matter how many round trips she has to make.
The same can she used when she was still a child. Just a year after she was taken in.
She empties it. Turns back to the basin. The path is worn from years of the same steps.
The farm wasn't as big as it is now when she first walked it.
Back then, they were taking in anyone in need. Mainly war orphans.
She fills the can again. The water is cold.
Erika was one of them. The civil war that ravaged the land had completely destroyed her homeland.
Until now, she isn't sure if her family is still out there somewhere. Or if they even survived at all.
She carries the can back.
It doesn't matter to her anymore. Today, the Hoffman's farm is her family.
Erika. You're using the fertilizer too early. It'll kill the poor thing, you know?
Fufufu, Reiko is right. But I won't mind if you do it anyway. Firsthand mistakes tend to be the best teacher after all~
The corner of Erika's lips curves upwards as the voices linger in her head.
In the end, she did pour all the fertilizer. Sure enough the plants died.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Droplets of water hit the ground from the tip of her watering can.
Then smaller drips around her from the sky. The sky above, still as black as her robe.
The stars on it dimming, one by one, as the dark takes over.
"Erika! There you are!"
The small caster who humbled her mages. Erika hasn't forgotten that.
Barely taller than a student, yet those crimson eyes convey otherwise.
Beside her is the twintailed cotton candy haired lady. With curves that put every barmaid to shame.
How on earth did she get that figure? Erika wouldn't mind a tip or two.
"I've been clear. I will have nothing to do with it."
"..."
Rosa casts her gaze down. Briefly. When it returns, it's sharper.
"Erika… We need your help. I have a plan to save whoever the werewolf is."
Her fists tighten, eyes unmoving.
"But we need your help. We need every hand."
The pink haired lady steps forward.
"I know you have history about Reiko… I know you don't like her…"
"Leave her name out of it!"
The words come out before Erika realizes it. Her teeth are already clenched.
Then she sees a flicker in Rosa's eyes. As if she is catching something.
"...Sorry. I shouldn't have…"
Lilia's gaze softens. Before her eyes land on the flower behind Erika.
Then she smiles.
"The roses… they're yours? They seem to be well taken care of."
Erika says nothing. No words come to mind.
No. There are words. Just not hers.
She sees Marlene, baby Pauline bundled in her arms.
Beautiful, isn't it? These are roses. Smells great, doesn't it?
She remembers reaching it the first time and feeling a prick on her finger.
Careful now…
Reiko immediately pressed a cloth on her bleeding finger.
"Seems you have fond memories of it too."
Erika brings her eyes back to Lilia.
Yet she doesn't understand why Lilia would know that.
Her hand drifts to her mouth. She realizes the corner of her mouth curves upward.
She bites her lip, forcing the curve back down.
Something warm runs down her cheeks.
Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.
The sky starts to pour. Without her hat, the droplets hit right on her head.
"Leave me out of this… Please… Just leave me alone…"
"Varriere…"
Rosa's hand shoots upwards. Honeycomb panels shimmer into place, forming a barrier.
The raindrops scatter on its convex surface like it's an umbrella.
Wide enough for all three of them.
Lilia gently approaches as she grabs Erika's hand.
She instinctively pulls her hand back, yet the grip is too strong.
"...Let's head inside first. We can talk after you calm down."
Erika sighs as she nods. At the very least, even she can't tell what is pouring down her face.
Much less for them.
She gazes at her hand, now being pulled by Lilia. Someone else's warmth in her skin.
She doesn't remember the last time her hand was held like this.
…
It had been a few years since Erika was taken in by the Hoffman's.
She was lying in the bed. Short breaths. Her body burned.
The only pleasant cold she felt was on her forehead, even that was fading.
The towel on her forehead lifted, replaced with a fresh, cold one.
Relief. But through all that heat, one warmth felt different.
It was on her hand. Reiko was holding her hand the entire time.
Cough! Cough! Cough!
"Erika, dear… Bear with me. You're fine."
Reiko's voice wavered. The grip on Erika's hand tightened.
The door to the small room opened.
"How is the fever? Still not going down?"
Erika recognized the man's voice. One of Ursula's sons.
He was the one always fiddling with potions and strange concoctions.
Both of her eyes were closed, yet Reiko's hand moved. Just slightly.
"Still haven't gone down since this morning…"
Another slight movement.
"Beringar, if this continues… She might…"
Another hand wrapped around Erika's small palm.
"You're going to get through this, young lady. I promise that."
"Do you have a plan?"
"I do. I am brewing potions for her. This is the first time I made one for an actual person…"
"Beringar… Is there no other way?"
"I'm afraid not. We have to make do for now…"
Beringar's potion bought her enough time. The medical wizard arrived days later.
Erika didn't know what awaited her.
The sky was clear. She stood yards away from the training dummy in front of her.
"Hyaaah!"
Her sapphire staff glowed, and an icicle launched from the tip of the crystal.
It landed square on the dummy's head.
"Yaaay! Marlene! Did you-"
Cough! Cough! Cough!
Erika's face went pale as Marlene fell to the ground.
"Marlene!"
Pauline's father rushed to Marlene's side and lifted her up by her back.
Reiko and Beringar followed.
"Marlene! Marlene! Talk to me!"
"Here! Your mana potion!"
Beringar brought the vial to Marlene's mouth and she gulped eagerly.
Pauline's father and Beringar carried Marlene to the house.
Meanwhile Reiko crouched in front of her and patted Erika's head.
"I'm sorry, Erika. I think you should train alone from now on."
"Marlene… will she be okay? Is Erika being a bad kid?"
Reiko shook her head as she continued to pat Erika.
"Of course not, darling. She's just unwell. I'm sure with Beringar here, she will be okay."
The pat became a light ruffle.
"She'll recover just like you, and will be able to teach you again. So be patient, okay?"
Erika nodded. She waited. She was patient.
Yet things continued to get worse.
After days, Marlene was still bedridden. Unable to stray far from her room.
"Werner! Let's hunt monsters near the forest! I got some new magics to try!"
"Sorry… I'm going to Reiko's place now."
"Again?"
"She needs help sorting out the herbs, I'll catch you later!"
Just like that Werner was gone.
The other adults were no different.
Pauline's father, Gerhard, refused to talk to her about Marlene.
Reiko always promised later every time Erika asked her something.
Beringar didn't even notice her presence, as he stayed all day near the brewing table.
Ursula stayed in Marlene's room. Days without leaving.
Eventually days became weeks, weeks became months.
"Eissvear!"
A square landed on the dummy's torso.
"Eissvear! Eissvear! Eissvear!"
Shoulder, head, torso.
Another, and another, then another.
Her voice cracked further with each cast.
Icicles rained on the dummy until it lost its shape.
"Do you have to destroy it like that? I was going to use it…"
She didn't hear the footsteps. A man in armor was behind her.
He left as soon as he asked.
"Damn brat. Now we have to make another one… What a pain…"
He muttered. Erika didn't know if he was pissed enough that he couldn't hold his voice.
"I thought I was going to relax a bit after that impossible request…"
Or he wanted it to be heard.
Weeks had passed. The farm moved around her like she wasn't there.
Werner with Reiko. Gerhard shouting. Ursula staring at nothing from the balcony.
Erika crouched on the bed in her dorm room. As usual, she heard Gerhard's voice outside.
"Didn't Beringar tell you not to make it too hot!? We need every mana here!"
The door opened. The cook came for the plate.
Erika wasn't hungry. She kept crouching, staring at the bed sheet.
The spoon scraped the plate as the cook collected the untouched stew.
"Tch…"
Erika didn't have to look. She already knew what the cook's gaze would say.
That night, she sneaked to Marlene's room. She wanted to know, she needed to know how she was.
More importantly, when she was going to recover.
It was midnight, the hallway was dark. No one was in the corridor.
Yellow light spilled from Marlene's room. Every step measured. Silent as she could manage.
"Ursula… Mother…"
"Dear… You need to sleep…"
"Pauline… how was she? I'm sorry. Even though I'm her mother…"
"Shhh… You will nurse her again. Once you're as healthy as a bull, okay?"
Erika took a deep breath and walked away.
All this time, after all, no one cared about her.
Of course no one did. Who was she? She was an outsider brought in.
It confirmed what she already knew.
Yet something threatened to come out from her chest.
Back in the dorm, she found the corner of her room and curled up.
The sobs began to leak, tears began to drip. Then everything flooded.
Then the day came. Marlene passed away. She was no more.
Color drained from Erika's world.
But then it happened. Reiko began to train with her again.
When there was a hunting task, Erika and Werner were appointed.
Ursula began to show her even more love, and Erika helped her back.
She didn't want to admit it was there. Relief and hope.
She hated herself when hope and relief surfaced after Marlene passed away.
It happened again when Gerhard moved away from the farm out of grief.
Again, relief washed over her as she got more and more attention.
A year later, things were going great.
Reiko trained with her in the mornings. Werner sparred with her after lunch.
Until Beringar got his hands on necromancy.
Reiko looked the other way once more. Ursula's focus shifted elsewhere.
Beringar took all of them. He harmed the farm, yet he got all the love.
Then Reiko and Beringar betrayed the farm.
They took the farm's secret, gold, everything.
Ursula grieved for them. Werner grieved for her.
For months. Erika was alone. Again, the people who hurt the farm got all the love.
Then there was her.
Erika… she loved everyone… yet everyone had to leave before the love returned...
Now, she is Werner's reliable partner.
Now, she is the one Pauline looks up to.
Now, she is Ursula's most trusted member of the farm.
...
Warmth now envelops her body. They are inside the dorm guest room.
Lilia and Rosa sit side by side in front of Erika.
Three of them, changed into dry clothing.
A towel wraps around Erika's neck while the others are scrubbing their wet hair.
The small girl beside Lilia shivers. Her teeth are clattering.
"Need some heat glyph after all?"
Lilia warmly asks her. The girl's crimson eyes dart back.
"I-I-I'm fi-i-i-i-ne"
Her voice vibrates as her jaw moves uncontrollably.
"It's a yes, then~"
Lilia grabs the heat and wind glyphs and sets them on the mana stone contraption.
She points the setup exactly at Rosa's face as she smiles.
Then her gaze glides towards Erika. Lilia rises without a word.
Her hands grab the towel on Erika's neck and start to wipe her hair.
"...What are you…"
"Shhh… Your hair's still wet. Let me dry it for you."
Every stroke of the towel feels pleasant. The pressure. The care.
Another piece of memory of them surfaces in Erika's head.
Her gaze lands on Rosa.
Of course. It is after. It has always been an after.
"Rosie, mind if you wait a bit? I'll wipe your head later"
"I-I-I ca-a-a-a-n do-o-o i-i-i-i-it o-o-o-on my o-o-o-own…"
Something tightens on Erika's chest. Her jaw clenches.
"Why?"
The word barely leaves her.
"Hm? What do you mean?"
Lilia keeps the gentle massage on Erika's head. Voice just as soothing.
A sob slips out from her throat. Her eyes warm, again.
Then a hand lands on her scalp, stroking her hair.
Erika's vision blurs as her tears flow more freely.
"It's alright… I am here…"
Each stroke of Lilia's hand comes gentler than before.
"She means a lot, isn't she?"
"No…"
Erika's voice cracks, her hands rush to her eyes. Frantically wiping them.
"I… I hate heer… hic I really hate heeer…"
"Sshhh… I know… I know…"
Another pat, it flows to the back of Erika's head.
Reiko. The only one who gave her this warmth. Gone since Marlene succumbed.
The sobs keep coming. Deep down, she wants it.
For Reiko to be back. To be loved again by her.
Yet somewhere, a fear echoes in her heart.
What if she is still Reiko who won't play with her?
What if she steals everyone's attention again?
What if she guts the farm once more and still gets the same love?
What if. What if. Then another what if.
Does she want to save her?
…She can't answer. Not now.
Not amidst the warmth enveloping her.