Wednesday, March 9, 2005
Remember how I said the canon timeline was officially in shambles?
Yeah. Well. Apparently life heard that, rolled up its sleeves, and said "Hold my beer."
Because here I am, standing in the school parking lot, watching Bella Swan grab Edward Cullen by the sleeve and drag him into the woods like she's about to conduct an exorcism.
And Edward… Edward "I'm too mysterious to use doors normally" Cullen, actually lets her.
I lean against my car, arms crossed, squinting at the tree line like some kind of wildlife observer. Ah yes, behold: the North American Bella Swan, coaxing a confused hundred years old vampire into the forest for unknown mating rituals.
I already know what this is.
She's going to confront him.
She's going to tell him she knows, or thinks she knows, what he is.
Then she's going to ask him to say it.
I don't know if it's going to play out exactly like canon. Maybe he'll give her the sparkly skin demo. Maybe he'll monologue about predator instincts and how delicious her blood smells. Maybe they'll argue. Maybe they'll make out. Who knows?
But it's close, way too close.
After all the chaos I've caused? After Tyler's accident, after destroying the plot of Edward saving Bella in Port Angeles, after me exploding my Quileute secret all over a sidewalk? You'd think the plot would give up and wander off to do something else.
But no.
Canon is apparently a cockroach. It survives everything.
I blow out a breath, watching their silhouettes disappear deeper into the trees.
'Well,' I think to myself, 'not my business. I'm not her dad to tell her what she can or can't do.'
Still… I can't help the weird twist in my stomach. Worry? Annoyance? Mild nausea? Hard to tell.
But Bella can handle herself.
And Edward, annoying as he is, isn't going to hurt her.
And frankly, I've got my own problems to deal with. Like pretending I didn't shrug off a stabbing yesterday.
Or wondering how long Bella's going to keep my secret before she bursts like a shaken soda bottle.
Or how the hell I'm supposed to navigate a world where the plot keeps trying to correct itself like some deranged GPS.
Recalculating… recalculating…
I rub my temples.
It's too early in the morning for existential crises.
I haven't even had my second breakfast yet.
…
By lunchtime, things had gone from a quiet school day to apocalyptic gossip meltdown.
I was sitting at my usual spot with the gang when Bella and Edward walked into the cafeteria hand in hand.
You could practically hear the gossip neurons across the room firing like machine guns.
Forks paused mid-air, chairs squeaked. And someone actually gasped like we were in a soap opera.
The entire cafeteria's atmosphere shifted into full National Enquirer mode.
Of course there was a betting pool.
Of course.
Everyone had been watching the bizarre Bella-Edward "are-they-or-aren't-they" tango for weeks now. Half the student population was convinced Edward was going to brood himself into an early grave before he ever admitted he liked her. The other half believed Bella would eventually get tired of the emotional whiplash and tell him to go sparkle somewhere else.
But apparently, today was the day.
Jessica looked miffed, lower lip pushed out in her classic "I deserved better" pout. She'd tried to shoot her shot with Edward back when the Cullens first arrived two years ago. But he'd treated her the same way he treated every other girl who liked him:
With the dazzling warmth of a marble countertop.
Angela, bless her infinitely pure soul, just smiled and said, "They look cute together."
Because of course she did. Angela could find the positive side of a hurricane.
Eric, on the other hand, looked like someone had just run over his dreams with a monster truck. He sagged in his seat, shoulders deflating like a sad balloon.
"I… I thought… maybe she'd… eventually…" he mumbled.
I patted his back. "There, there."
Internally I was screaming 'please don't cry, man, I'm not emotionally equipped for that.'
Lauren leaned forward with a dramatic sigh. "Well, that's it then. The Swan has landed the Cullen."
Jessica snapped, "That's not even a saying," and stabbed her salad with unnecessary violence.
Meanwhile Bella and Edward kept walking like they hadn't just turned the cafeteria into a gladiator arena for teenage hormones. Bella's cheeks were pink. Edward had that annoyingly serene expression that said I know something you don't know.
Everyone stared at them like they were a museum exhibit.
I took a bite of my sandwich and thought:
Great. Canon's speedrunning itself again.
And somehow, I had a bad feeling this wasn't even the part I needed to worry about.
…
The final bell had barely stopped echoing when Mike spotted Edward Cullen gliding toward him across the parking lot; purposeful, unreadable, and very much coming straight for him.
Mike paused mid-step. Tyler, already slouched in the passenger seat with his leg stretched out awkwardly, frowned through the open window.
"What does Cullen want with you?" Tyler mouthed.
Mike shrugged helplessly. "Five minutes," he said out loud, leaning down to the window. "Ten at most. Don't leave without me."
Tyler raised a single eyebrow, his expression a perfect blend of 'Are you kidding me?' and 'Do you see the shape I'm in? Am I supposed to run home?'
"Yeah, yeah," Mike added. "I know. You don't have a choice."
Tyler snorted but waved him off.
Mike turned and followed Edward toward the treeline at the edge of the lot, classic Cullen behavior, always needing dramatic scenery for a conversation. As they stepped onto the mossy ground, Mike realized someone was already waiting there.
Bella.
She stood with her arms wrapped around herself, eyes flicking nervously between the two boys. Her posture practically broadcast embarrassed apologies.
Mike blinked.
Great.
This was definitely going to be weird.
Edward inhaled, steadying himself, probably trying to block out whatever stupid song Mike had stuck in his head again. Mike could almost see the effort behind his controlled expression.
"Thank you," Edward said finally, voice low and earnest. "For protecting Bella yesterday."
Bella stepped forward instantly, tripping over her own words. "And I'm sorry! I didn't mean to… well, I mean, it wasn't my story to tell. I didn't realize until it was already out of my mouth. I was yelling at Edward about his secret and then suddenly I was talking about… about you. And it just… slipped."
She winced, cheeks red, clearly mortified.
Mike looked between them, trying to decide whether to be annoyed, flattered, or just relieved this wasn't about vampires wanting to kill him.
He let out a breath, squared his shoulders, and answered Edward first. "You don't need to thank me. She's my friend. Of course I'm going to protect her."
Then he turned to Bella. "And about… what happened." His tone softened. "How much did you tell him exactly?"
Bella lowered her head, chewing on her bottom lip the way she did when she knew she'd messed up. "Everything," she muttered.
Mike dragged a hand down his face. "Great. Just great."
Bella's shoulders curled inward, guilt radiating off her.
He sighed. "Hey, don't worry about it. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep that secret forever. Not from the Cullens, at least." He shot a look at Edward. "So, no harm done."
Edward nodded once, expression thoughtful, as if filing away that trust for later. "How much do you know about me and my family?" he asked.
"Not much more than Bella," Mike answered honestly. "Just that you're vampires, and you've got some kind of treaty with the Quileute tribe."
Edward blinked, a little surprised Mike knew that part.
Mike shrugged. "My girlfriend's Quileute. Anyway, if that's everything, I kinda need to go. I can hear Tyler getting impatient and messing with the radio."
Edward actually chuckled, quiet, but genuine. "He's complaining about your taste in music," he noted. "Quite loudly."
"That tracks," Mike muttered. "So we're good?"
"Yes," Edward said. "That was all."
"Great. See you guys."
He waved them off and jogged back toward the parking lot. As he approached the car, he found Tyler already bobbing his head to 50 Cent blasting through the speakers, the bass rattling the door.
Tyler looked up as Mike opened the driver's side door. "So? What did Cullen want?"
Mike didn't miss a beat. "Oh, nothing much. He just came out of the closet and asked me out."
Tyler's expression froze, eyes wide, jaw dropping in pure shock.
Mike burst into laughter so hard he had to brace himself on the roof of the car. "Man, you should've seen your face!"
Tyler swatted his arm, muttering something about almost believing him because it made too much sense, but he was grinning too.
…
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