The sound of the smashing plate was what finally broke the spell.
Kaito glanced at the kitchen. Mai was standing there, hand over her mouth, ceramic shards at her feet. Her eyes, usually controlled and analytical, were wide with pure shock. She was looking from the sobbing goddess on the floor to Kaito, who had already resettled on his beanbag and was about to unpause his game.
Her gaze stopped him. It was a look that said, "You cannot just ignore this. You broke a goddess."
Kaito let out a sigh. More effort.
Ignoring Kaito for a moment, Mai carefully navigated around the shards and approached Fia. She crouched down, her expression a mixture of pity and disbelief. "Are you... okay?"
Fia looked up, her face stained with shimmering tears that seemed to glitter with their own light. "He... he hit me!" she whimpered, pointing an accusatory finger at Kaito. "With a mundane object! My divine dignity is... dented!"
Mai looked over her shoulder at Kaito, who just shrugged.
Kaito decided that if the peace was already broken, he should at least gather data. He stood up from the beanbag again and walked over, not to console, but to inspect. He stopped in front of Fia, who flinched.
"First question," Kaito said, his voice monotone. "Do you bleed?"
Fia blinked, the tears stopping for an instant. "...What?"
"If I hit you again, harder, will you bleed?" he repeated. "This is important. I don't want to clean divine stains off my tatami. It's probably hard to get out."
"You're a monster!" Fia shrieked, bursting into tears again.
"Second question," Kaito continued, unfazed. "Do you need to eat? Does your physical existence require sustenance? Because I only have eggs, and my budget doesn't cover the diet of a cosmic entity."
Mai stared at him, horrified. "Kaito, stop interrogating her! She's upset!"
"I'm not interrogating, I'm assessing," Kaito corrected. "She is an unsolicited resource that has appeared in my space. I need to know her operational parameters. Third question: Do you need to sleep? And more importantly, do you occupy physical space when I'm not looking, or do you turn ethereal?"
Fia sniffled, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I... I'm a stable manifestation," she muttered. "I need energy, which I can draw from the atmosphere, but food helps anchor me... And yes, I need to rest. And I'm always solid! I don't 'turn off'!"
Kaito processed the information. Consumes food. Takes up space. Requires maintenance. "How troublesome," he concluded. "You're basically a loud, expensive pet I didn't ask for."
He turned and went to the kitchen. Mai watched, expecting him to get a first-aid kit or a glass of water for the distressed goddess. Instead, he grabbed a dustpan and a broom.
"Clean that up," he told Mai, handing her the tools. "Glass on the floor is a hazard."
While Mai, still stunned, began to sweep up the shards, Kaito turned back to the main problem. Fia. Now that the initial debriefing was complete, logistics needed to be addressed.
"Right. Since you're a physical problem now, we need rules," he announced to the room.
Fia got to her feet, dusting off her dress. The bump on her head was still prominent. "The only rule is that you must listen to your guide!" she declared, trying to reclaim a sliver of authority. "The System sent me to accelerate your progress! Your 'waiting' approach is unacceptable! We could be forming bonds right now! I could brew a love potion with items from your kitchen!"
"You will not touch my kitchen," Kaito said, his voice cold. "Rule number one: no magic, no portals, no unnecessary glowing in my apartment. Your divine powers are a visual nuisance and will probably fry the wiring."
"But..."
"Rule number two," he continued, "you stay quiet while I am gaming. Or reading. Or breathing."
"That's all the time!"
"Exactly. Now, the main problem." Kaito looked around his tiny apartment. The bed in the annexed room was Mai's. The beanbag was his. The rest was floor. "Accommodations."
Mai finished sweeping and dumped the shards in the trash. "Kaito, we can't just leave her on the floor."
"Why not?"
"Because it's cruel!"
Kaito sighed. Empathy was so inefficient. He looked at Fia, who was staring at him with a mixture of fear and defiance. He needed a solution that would contain the problem. One that would remove her from his direct line of sight.
His gaze landed on the closet near the front door. It was where he kept his vacuum cleaner, some tools, and other useless junk.
"Solved," he said.
He walked to the closet, opened the door, and pulled the vacuum cleaner out, setting it in the corner. The space inside was small, dark, and about a square meter.
"What?" Fia asked, following him with her eyes.
Kaito went back, grabbed the extra pillow and a thin blanket he kept for cold nights. He tossed them both inside the closet.
"Here," he said. "Your room."
The silence that followed was absolute.
Mai stared at him, dumbfounded.
Fia looked from the dark closet to Kaito, her expression shifting from confusion to horrified understanding.
"The... the closet?" she stammered. "You want me... a GODDESS... to sleep... in a broom closet?"
"It's efficient," Kaito explained, with flawless logic. "It's dark, so you won't be disturbed by the light. It's insulated, so your crying won't disturb me. And most importantly, it has a door that can be closed."
He looked at her. "You don't pay rent. These are the accommodations."
Fia opened her mouth, then closed it. She looked to Mai for help, but Mai was too shocked to speak. The sheer, pragmatic cruelty of the solution had rendered her speechless.
Finally, shoulders slumped in total defeat, Fia walked to the closet. She looked at the lonely pillow on the dark floor.
"This is the lowest point in my divine career," she muttered, before stepping inside and sitting down.
Kaito closed the door. He didn't lock it, just pulled it shut, plunging the interior into darkness.
He turned, feeling a sliver of satisfaction. The noise had been contained.
He walked back to his beanbag and sat down. He looked at Mai, who was still staring at him like he had just kicked a puppy.
"What?" he asked.
The apartment was quiet again. Almost. If he concentrated, he could hear the faint sound of divine sobbing coming from inside the closet.
He picked up his controller and unpaused the game. Peace, however fragile and monstrous, had been restored.
For now.
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