Chapter 37: Bravery or Cowardice
Early morning. The summer breeze rustled through the woods, carrying wisps of mist over the quiet lake and skipping across the green grass, heavy with damp air.
"Cough... cough cough..." Lupin coughed violently and woke up. A clear blue sky filled his vision, bringing an immediate sense of relief.
I seem to have caused quite a commotion last night... I was a bit careless... He took a deep breath and shook his head.
I'll have to find a new place to stay soon...
As he sat up slowly, he was surprised to find a blanket draped over him.
He froze for a moment, then realized something and looked around.
The quiet lakeside seemed empty, but if one looked closely, a figure could be seen sitting by the water, feet dangling in the lake.
It was Miss Hamilton... Lupin's expression grew complicated. She was probably one of the last people he wanted to see him like this... But sometimes fate plays tricks. The more you fear something, the more likely it is to happen. Even for a werewolf.
It seems Miss Hamilton has discovered my secret... My inexplicable sense of responsibility can finally be put to rest.
He had actually been quite happy this past month... It was as if he had returned to Hogwarts and made a new friend, or perhaps jumped into the future where his own child was about to start school.
His feelings toward Miss Hamilton were complex. At first, he thought it was simple responsibility. Later, he thought he saw her as a kindred spirit... Now, it seemed to be a mix of all those things, plus a certain admiration.
Miss Hamilton was a very talented witch... If I could be like her... would those tragedies never have happened?
Sirius wouldn't have betrayed us. Peter, James, and Lily wouldn't have died... I would still have a group of friends to talk to, just like back then.
Instead of hiding like a rat crossing the street... when Peter Pettigrew was the one who was actually more like a rat... Lupin let out a dry chuckle.
But this should be the end of it. Now that my identity is exposed, I certainly can't stay by Miss Hamilton's side. I'll set off on my journey again... and come back when someone needs me.
Lupin took a deep breath and gave a helpless, bitter smile. But what else could he do? Whether Miss Hamilton feared him or hated him, it didn't matter.
I've seen those looks enough times, haven't I?
Wrapping the blanket around himself, he slowly stood up and walked over to Lyra.
"Eek?!" Startled by Lupin suddenly sitting down next to her, Miss Hamilton let out a yelp.
Sometimes, Lupin felt Miss Hamilton was like a timid squirrel, always jumping at shadows... but it only made her endearing.
"Mr. Lupin... you're awake?" Miss Hamilton's timid voice drifted over. She pulled her hood tight, seemingly afraid to look at him.
Thinking about it, it makes sense. I'm a werewolf, after all... I must have terrified her last night.
"I'm sorry, Miss Hamilton," Lupin said after a moment's thought. "I didn't hurt you last night, did I?"
"N... No," Miss Hamilton whispered, kicking her feet lightly and splashing a little water.
"But Mr. Lupin... you..."
She seemed to want to say something. Lupin knew what she was going to ask without thinking. "Yes, I am a werewolf."
"When I was a child... I was..."
"Ah, no, no, no..." Miss Hamilton clenched her fists in front of her chest and shook her head rapidly. "That's not... what I wanted to say..."
"I wanted to ask... Mr. Lupin... are you hurt?"
Lupin froze, looking at Miss Hamilton in surprise.
But Miss Hamilton didn't seem to notice his shock. She just continued to whisper to herself, "I used... a spell last night."
"Are you okay?"
"I..." Lupin paused. To his surprise, he felt a lump in his throat... He had thought Miss Hamilton would be more concerned about the werewolf issue.
"I'm fine," Lupin pressed his lips together. "Werewolves have very strong regenerative abilities..."
"Ah... that's... that's good..." Miss Hamilton nodded, then shrunk back into her hood and fell silent.
Watching her, Lupin couldn't help but ask, "Do you... have no questions for me?"
"N... No," Miss Hamilton paused. "Should... I?"
Of course... I'm a werewolf... A werewolf who attacked you last night and almost ate you... Lupin took a deep breath. "Aren't you curious about me being a werewolf?"
"Ah... I figure everyone has their own secrets," Miss Hamilton pressed her lips together, then added, "I thought maybe you... didn't want to talk about it."
"So please just pretend I didn't see anything... I... I won't tell anyone." Miss Hamilton's voice grew quieter and quieter. "Of course, I don't mean... anything else by it... I just thought... it might be personal."
Her stammering, somewhat ambiguous answer made Lupin smile despite himself.
Miss Hamilton didn't seem to have changed at all, even after his identity was exposed. He couldn't help but feel... an emotion different from when he had faced James and the others.
Back then, they had changed for him... and that had moved him deeply... But Miss Hamilton, she didn't change anything because of him. She was just... just the same as before.
That feels quite nice too... doesn't it?
Lupin let out a soft breath and said, "Miss Hamilton, when I was a child, my father offended the werewolf Fenrir Greyback... So one night, he broke into our house and bit me."
"From then on, I became a werewolf," Lupin shrugged. "Lycanthropy is incurable... so... I just have to live with it. Fortunately, Headmaster Dumbledore..."
Lupin noticed that when she heard Dumbledore's name, Miss Hamilton's kicking feet suddenly stopped.
"Fortunately, Headmaster Dumbledore accepted me and offered me help."
"That is my story."
"..."
A long silence followed. Miss Hamilton seemed to ponder for a long time before suddenly asking in a small voice, "Mr. Lupin... why... did you tell me this?"
"I thought you might want to know," Lupin said slowly. "After all, I am a werewolf."
"That doesn't matter!" Miss Hamilton suddenly turned her head sharply. For the first time that day, Lupin saw her eyes.
Those blue eyes were surprisingly devoid of their usual timid evasion. Instead, they were exceptionally serious.
"I mean... Mr. Lupin being a werewolf... it doesn't matter." But the boldness was just a façade. The next second, she lowered her head and whispered, "Besides, I'm a part-Veela, and Mr. Lupin didn't think that mattered, right?"
"No..." Lupin pressed his lips together and shook his head bitterly. "Miss Hamilton, werewolves and Veela are different."
"Werewolves are filthy... but Veela..."
"Veela were the same at Durmstrang..." Miss Hamilton's voice came. It was almost the quietest Lupin had ever heard her speak, even quieter than when she talked to her owl.
"Sorry, I didn't mean..." Lupin instinctively wanted to apologize. He seemed to have triggered a bad memory for Miss Hamilton.
"No... Mr. Lupin," Miss Hamilton interrupted him for the first time. She spoke softly, "I never thought Mr. Lupin would discriminate against me... because I am part-Veela."
"And I won't think differently of Mr. Lupin because he is a werewolf."
"Because we are friends." Miss Hamilton's voice was incredibly firm.
Lupin smiled. It was the second time in his life he had smiled so happily. He shook his head, laughing, and said, "Miss Hamilton, those words are far more reassuring than the Fidelius Charm."
He suddenly understood Dumbledore's words... Miss Lyra Hamilton looks incredibly fragile, but she is surprisingly strong.
Being friends with a werewolf...
Yes, we are friends... Lupin felt that sometimes he was an unfortunate man, cursed to be a werewolf because of his father's feud.
But sometimes, he felt like a lucky man, because although his friends were few, every single one of them was precious.