Captain America watched Jason's energy spike again, the smoke-like aura thickening around him. They were running out of options fast.
"Wanda," Steve said quietly, his tactical mind racing.
"Natasha. I need you to—"
"Try to calm him down?" Natasha finished, one eyebrow raised.
"With our feminine wiles?"
"I was going to say talk to him, but—" Steve stopped, realizing how that sounded. "Look, he said he didn't want to hurt you two. That's an opening. Use it."
Wanda looked uncertain. "Captain, I'm not sure—"
"Pepper," Steve called out.
"Can you bring May Parker here? Carefully?"
From the window, Pepper nodded, already guiding May down from the apartment. The woman moved quickly despite everything, worry etched on her face.
When May arrived, Jason's energy flickered. Just slightly, but everyone noticed.
The three women stood before him now—Scarlet Witch with her flowing red coat and determined expression, Black Widow in her tactical suit with that calculating look, and May Parker in her bedsheet-turned-dress, looking simultaneously terrified and concerned.
Jason's smoking aura dimmed further.
"Jason," May said softly.
"Please. Look at me."
He did. His death stare softened incrementally.
"This isn't you," May continued.
"The man I spent last night with was passionate, yes. Intense, absolutely. But not this. Not someone who hurts people who are just trying to protect their city."
"They attacked me," Jason said through gritted teeth.
"After you beat up Spider-Man," Natasha pointed out.
"And tore apart several million dollars of Stark tech."
"He started it."
"That's literally what my nephew says when he gets in fights at school," Natasha replied dryly.
"You have a nephew?"
Despite everything, Jason's mouth twitched. Almost a smile.
Wanda stepped closer, her hands still glowing but less threateningly now. "You remind me of someone. My brother. Pietro. He was angry too. At the world. At people who hurt those he loved. But he learned to channel it. To be better."
"I have my mother," Jason said suddenly, his voice rough. "Strong. Powerful. Tried to teach me control."
He looked at Wanda. "You... you remind me of her. Just a little."
"Mother?! Really?"
"Then listen to me like you'd listen to her," Wanda said gently. "This path you're on—it only leads to more pain. For you. For everyone."
Jason's shoulders sagged slightly. The rage was still there, simmering, but contained. For now.
"Okay," Steve said carefully.
"Let's move somewhere quieter. Away from the civilians. Away from the cameras." He gestured at the dozens of phones still recording.
"We can talk this through."
Jason nodded slowly, and everyone collectively exhaled.
They relocated to May's apartment.
The Avengers had regrouped outside, tending to their wounded. Thor was conscious but looked like he'd been struck by lightning—ironic, really. Hulk had reverted to Banner, who was naked and confused in the rubble. Falcon was being extracted from the car he'd become one with.
"Well," Tony said, his armor retracting into his arc reactor. "That was officially the worst team-up in Avengers history."
"We got our asses handed to us," Rhodey agreed, his War Machine armor sparking. "By one guy. One very angry guy with mommy issues."
"Don't forget the MILF fetish," Clint added from where he sat on a fire hydrant, nursing his ribs. "That was... unexpected."
"I have so many questions," Bruce said, wrapping himself in a blanket someone had provided. "Starting with: what the hell just happened?"
"We lost," Steve said simply, his shield dented. "Badly."
"He caught Mjolnir," Thor said, still stunned. "Wielded it against me. Either he's worthy, or something is very, very wrong with the universe."
"My money's on option two," Tony muttered.
Inside the apartment, Jason paced like a caged animal. May, Wanda, and Natasha watched him carefully, maintaining safe distances.
"I can't calm down," Jason said, his voice strained. "The rage—it's always there. Ever since the explosion. It's like fire in my veins."
"We noticed," Natasha said dryly.
"What would help?" May asked, genuinely concerned despite everything. "Is there something we can do?"
Jason stopped pacing. Looked at May. His eyes darkened with something that wasn't rage. He looked all three ladies and he thought with his other head and already a sinister idea coming into it.
"I need to get laid."
Silence.
"I'm sorry, what?" Natasha said.
"You heard me," Jason said, still staring at May. "That's how I burn off the excess energy. The rage. The power. I need—"
"Oh no," May backed up quickly, holding up her hands.
"No, no, no. Jason, you were... very enthusiastic last night. Very. I'm still recovering. I can't handle you when you're like this. You'd literally break me in half."
Wanda and Natasha exchanged looks that were equal parts horrified and amused.
"I'm sorry," Natasha said slowly.
"Did you just say he'd 'break you in half'?"
May's face flushed red. "He's very... vigorous. And strong. Like, impossibly strong. There were moments I thought he might accidentally—"
She stopped, realizing everyone was staring. "Look, I'm thirty-six, not twenty-six. I have limits!"
"And he's 'very a virile young man'."
"Oh my God," Wanda whispered, covering her mouth.
Jason's power flared again, the smoke-like energy returning. His frustration was mounting, which meant his energy was spiking.
"Okay, okay!" May said quickly, panic in her voice. "Everyone, stay calm!"
"I am calm," Jason growled. "I'm just horny and furious, which is apparently a bad combination."
"You think?" Natasha muttered.
Outside, Tony's sensors went off. "He's spiking again. What are they doing in there?"
"Do we want to know?" Clint asked.
"Probably not," Steve sighed.
Inside, May was thinking fast. "Okay. Jason. You need... physical release. To burn off the energy. Right?"
"Yes."
"And I can't... accommodate that. Right now. Because reasons."
"Apparently."
May looked at Wanda and Natasha. "Ladies. I know this is completely insane and inappropriate, but we need to handle this situation before he explodes again and kills someone."
"Handle," Natasha repeated flatly.
"You want us to 'handle' him."
"I'm not saying—" May stopped.
"Okay, yes, I'm saying exactly that. One of you. Or both. I don't know! I'm improvising here!"
Wanda's eyes widened. "Mrs. Parker, I cannot possibly—"
"Both," Jason said suddenly.
"I want both of them."
Everyone turned to stare at him.
"You... want both of us," Natasha said slowly.
"At the same time."
"Yes."
"You're insane."
"I just fought the Avengers to a standstill, and I'm currently radiating enough energy to level a city block. 'Insane' is relative."
Jason's grin was sharp and dangerous. "Besides, you two are gorgeous, deadly, and clearly not intimidated by me. That's hot."
Wanda and Natasha looked at each other.
"Are we seriously considering this?" Wanda whispered.
"I've had worse missions," Natasha whispered back.
"That doesn't make this better!"
"He did say 'both of us,'" Natasha pointed out. "Which means we're not alone. Safety in numbers?"
"That's not how—" Wanda stopped. "You're actually thinking about this!"
"We're going to die if we don't do something," Natasha said pragmatically. "He nearly killed Thor. THOR. So our options are: let him explode and destroy Queens, try to fight him again and die, or... this."
"There has to be another—"
Jason's power spiked higher. The windows rattled. Smoke poured off his body.
"Decide quickly," he said, his voice strained. "Because I'm losing control again."
May looked terrified. "Please! I don't want anyone else to get hurt!"
Wanda closed her eyes. "I cannot believe I'm saying this, but—" She opened them, looking at Natasha. "If we're doing this insane thing, we're doing it together. Agreed?"
"Agreed," Natasha said. "Also, we're never speaking of this again."
"Obviously."
Jason's grin widened. "There's way too much mess here anyway. We need somewhere private. High up. Soundproof."
Before anyone could respond, he moved. One arm around Wanda's waist, the other around Natasha's. Both women tensed but didn't fight it.
"Wait, where are you—" Wanda started.
Jason crashed through May's window, taking both women with him as he flew straight up into the New York sky.
"JASON!" May screamed after him.
Outside, the Avengers watched in stunned silence as Jason soared into the clouds with Scarlet Witch and Black Widow.
"Did he just..." Bruce trailed off.
"Yep," Tony confirmed.
"With both of them?" Clint asked.
"Yep."
"At the same time?"
"That appears to be the plan," Steve said, his face carefully neutral.
Thor started laughing. Deep, booming laughter that echoed off the buildings. "By Odin's beard! That boy has the audacity of Asgard!"
"That boy is insane," Rhodey corrected.
"Perhaps," Thor agreed, still chuckling. "But you cannot deny his boldness!"
May emerged from her apartment building, wrapped in a borrowed coat now. She walked up to the assembled Avengers, all of whom turned to stare at her.
"So," Tony said carefully. "Your date from last night just flew off with two of our teammates for... reasons."
"Yes," May said, her face bright red.
"And those reasons are..."
"He needs to burn off excess energy," May said quickly. "It's the only thing that works. Trust me. After last night, I know."
"I really wish you'd stop saying things like that," Peter's voice came from the rubble. He was pulling himself free, his suit torn. "That's my AUNT, people!"
"He'll be fine," May continued, ignoring Peter. "They'll be fine. It's just... temporary. To prevent him from destroying the city."
"So they're taking one for the team," Clint said.
"Literally."
"That's one way to put it," May agreed.
"I'm going to need therapy after this," Bruce muttered.
"Get in line," Tony said.
Steve Rogers stood there, trying to process everything. "So our plan is to wait for... that... to conclude, and then resume negotiations?"
"Unless you want to interrupt them," May said pointedly.
"Which I don't recommend. Jason doesn't like being interrupted."
"How do you—" Tony started, then stopped.
"Never mind. I don't want to know."
In the distance, they could see a top floor of the Marriott hotel. The windows had just shattered from the inside, and a red glow emanated from within.
"Five bucks says he breaks the building," Clint offered.
"Ten says he breaks both of them," Rhodey countered.
"I hate all of you," Steve sighed.
Thor was still laughing. "I must admit, I respect his priorities! Even in the midst of battle, he thinks of—"
"Please stop talking," Steve interrupted.
May patted Steve's shoulder sympathetically. "Welcome to my morning, Captain."
Peter finally freed himself completely from the rubble. He looked up at the glowing hotel room, then at his aunt, then back at the hotel.
"I'm moving to Jersey," he announced.
"No, you're not," May said.
"I'm seriously considering it!"
Tony's phone buzzed. He checked it. "JARVIS is monitoring the hotel. Structural integrity is... fluctuating. Whatever's happening up there, it's intense."
"Of course it is," Natasha's voice came through their comms suddenly, breathless and strained. "Because this is my life now. Romanoff out."
The comm went dead.
"Did she sound okay?" Bruce asked worriedly.
"Define 'okay,'" Tony replied.
They all stood there, battered and bruised, watching the hotel and waiting.
"You know," Clint said after a moment.
"When I woke up this morning, I did not have 'watch teammate get seduced by super strong teenager' on my bingo card."
"None of us did," Steve agreed tiredly.
"I kind of did," Thor admitted. "Though I expected to be the one doing the seducing."
Everyone turned to stare at him.
"What? I am very popular on Asgard!"
"Moving on," Steve said firmly. He looked at May. "When this is... over... we need information. Everything you know about Jason. Where he's from. What his powers are. His weaknesses."
"He doesn't have many," May said honestly. "And his main weakness seems to be attractive women who challenge him."
"Great," Tony muttered.
"So we need to recruit more?"
"I'm not sure the world has enough," May replied.
From the hotel, there was a flash of red energy—chaos magic mixing with heat vision. The entire top floor shook.
"They're going to bring the building down," Bruce predicted.
"Probably," May agreed.
"But at least they're not fighting anymore."
"Silver lining," Tony said dryly.
Peter sat down on a chunk of rubble, put his head in his hands, and tried very hard not to think about what was happening in that hotel room.
It was going to be a very long day.