The box started rattling immediately.
[LUNA] YOU'RE NOT DYING (◕‿◕✿)[LUNA] YOU'RE WINNING[LUNA] LOOK AROUND
Hunter looked.
The squirrels were retreating. Pulling back into the trees.
They'd won. Sort of. In the sense that more humans were alive than dead. Which was technically a victory. Technically.
The bar for success had gotten really, really low.
Hunter looked at the battlefield. At the bodies. At the blood. At the merchants who'd gone from "nice family trip" to "survived a horror movie" in approximately five minutes.
At least nobody could say his life was boring anymore.
Well. Except the dead guard. He probably couldn't say much of anything.
Hunter's brain: "Too soon?"
Way too soon, brain. Way, way too soon.
Not fleeing, but regrouping. They'd lost maybe twenty of their number. Realized the blood-covered human was actually dangerous. Their chittering had changed pitch, gone from playful to cautious.
Han Qiuyu stood beside him now. Breathing hard. Spear bloody but still ready. His armor had new dents. Fresh scratches. But his eyes were sharp, alert. "Who the hell are you?"
"Someone who really hates squirrels," Hunter said.
It wasn't an answer. But it was honest.
The guard's eyes narrowed, studying him. Taking in the blood-soaked clothes. The Foundation Realm aura that Hunter couldn't quite suppress. The way shadows still clung to his legs like loyal dogs.
"You're a cultivator," Han said. Not a question. A statement. "Foundation Realm."
"Does it matter?" Hunter kept his spiritual sense locked on the trees. The squirrels were still there. Watching. Waiting. "They're not done. This was just the first wave."
"First wave?" Qiu Hengdao's voice cracked. "There's MORE?"
Hunter pointed at the trees with his sword. In the shadows of the canopy, dozens of pairs of black eyes glinted. Maybe hundreds. They'd only sent a fraction of their force to test him.
"We need to move," Hunter said. "Now. While they're regrouping. How many can walk?"
Han did a quick count. "Maybe fifteen. The rest are injured. We have no horses left."
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
[LUNA] OOOOH THIS IS GETTING GOOD (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧[LUNA] WHAT'S THE PLAN, HERO?
I don't know. I'm making this up as I go.
[LUNA] THAT'S BEEN YOUR ENTIRE STRATEGY SO FAR ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ[LUNA] IT'S WORKING GREAT!
Hunter looked at the injured. At the children. At the mother who'd taken claws to the back protecting her daughter. She was pale, going into shock, but still breathing.
He looked at his own bleeding hand. At the sword that suddenly felt too heavy.
He looked at the trees, where death waited with red fur and black eyes.
And he made a decision he'd probably regret.
"My camp is two miles west," Hunter said. "We can make it if we move fast. I'll carry the worst injured. You," he pointed at Han, "take rear guard. Anyone who can walk, walks. Anyone who can't, we carry.
"Why are you helping us?" Qiu Hengdao asked, suspicious even now.
Good question. Why was he?
Because Liu Mei was probably watching. Because leaving civilians to die wasn't very "agent of the Heavenly Dao." Because somewhere in the last few days, between murder and slavery and accidental heroism, he'd apparently developed something resembling a conscience.
Or maybe he just really, really hated squirrels.
"Because I'm in a bad mood," Hunter said, "and those things pissed me off."
Also because explaining to Liu Mei why he let children get eaten by rodents seemed like a fast track to execution. But that part felt too honest to say out loud.
[LUNA] SO NOBLE (◕‿◕✿)[LUNA] SO HEROIC[LUNA] DEFINITELY NOT MOTIVATED BY FEAR OF ICE LADY
Shut up, Luna.
[LUNA] ♥ NEVER ♥
Han studied him for a moment longer. His eyes took in Hunter's blood-soaked clothes. His Foundation Realm aura. The way he was trying very hard not to look at his own mangled hand.
"You're insane," Han said finally.
"Probably."
"You just fought fifty squirrels."
"Yup."
"Bare-handed at one point."
"Regretted that immediately."
"You're covered in blood and still standing."
"Barely."
Han nodded slowly. "Good enough. Let's move."
That was it. That was the entire vetting process. Hunter had officially been deemed "crazy but useful."
His therapist back in Boston would have had strong opinions about this.
They gathered the survivors. Fifteen who could walk. Eight who couldn't. Twenty-three people total, plus Hunter and his bleeding hand and his questionable life choices.
The squirrels watched from the trees. Waiting. Patient. They had time. Their prey was injured, slow, burdened.
It would be an easy hunt.
Hunter met those black eyes and channeled qi into his voice one more time.
"COME NEAR US AGAIN AND I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"
The threat echoed through the forest. The squirrels chittered. Whether in fear or amusement, Hunter couldn't tell.
He turned and started walking west, toward his camp, toward his three incompetent bandits who were probably still asleep.
Behind him, twenty-three people followed. Trusting a stranger covered in blood. Because sometimes, in a world of cultivation and murder squirrels, that was the best option available.
And in the trees, red-furred nightmares watched them go. Waiting. Always waiting.
As they walked away from the massacre, Qiu Hengdao fell into step beside Hunter.
"Thank you," the merchant said quietly. "For saving us."
"Don't thank me yet. We're still in the murder forest."
"Better than being squirrel food."
"That's a low bar."
"It's all we have."
Fair point.
They walked in silence for a moment. Then Qiu spoke again.
"Do you think they'll follow us?"
Hunter glanced back. The squirrels were definitely following. Keeping pace through the trees. Watching.
"Probably."
"That's not reassuring."
Another pause.
"I don't suppose you have a plan?"
Hunter thought about his three bandits who were probably still asleep. About Liu Mei who was probably stalking him. About the fact that he was now responsible for twenty-three people instead of three.
About the squirrels who definitely had plans for revenge.
"I'm working on it," Hunter lied.
[LUNA] NO YOU'RE NOT (◕‿◕✿)
Not helping, Luna.
[LUNA] JUST BEING HONEST ♥
The squirrels chittered in the distance.
Somehow, Hunter got the feeling they were laughing at him.
They probably were.