Limbo. Somewhere in the darkness, I found myself floating endlessly. The air I breathed was neither cold nor warm, and the light was nowhere to be seen. Nothing was illuminating my surroundings. It was utterly black and deserted.
Then, I found myself asking, "Where am I?" But then, I felt my body heavier than it was. I felt sore and exhausted, and something was aching. "What the…what's going on?" I wondered as my abdomen felt like being stabbed by something sharp, twisting deeply inside my body, making me groan in pain until my eyes opened. I saw light, a majestic light, making my hand reach out, mumbling, "Finally, I'm dead."
Or so I thought.
As the light blinded me, I began to hear chirping birds. There were stomping feet from a pack of different animals running in the green open field. The field was vast, filled with various animals, from the smallest to the largest, all were united and harmonized. They all coexist in one plane, causing my heart to soar in peace. I loved the sight, but strange things did happen. I began seeing twice or thrice their size, leading each kind of animal, until one wolf jumped above my head. I gasped but chuckled as the pack of wolves ran freely, making me desire to join, but something was off.
I'm not shifting into my wolf.
"That's…odd…" I mumbled softly, confused about what strange thing had happened to me. I tried to shift, trying to bring my weakest wolf out, but nothing. I feel nothing, empty, and there it hits me like a tidal wave, whispering sadly, "Can it be?"
I stared at my hands, quivering, causing me to bite my lower lip just to suppress what was obvious. But my tears still fell, and it began to crush in one truth. I lost my wolf. I cried in silence despite the majestic and peaceful view before me. I envied the sight until I shivered when a strange wind brushed my skin and looked to my right, only to see my Sigbin wolf, watching me in worry.
"Don't give me that look…" I said softly, trying to be strong, but my wolf knew I was weak. It shook its head and stood up, looking strong and feeling the air around us before showing its toothy grin at me. I know what it was trying to tell me, and weakly but determined, I stood up, wiping my tears away before grinning back at it, challenging, "Want to race for the last time?"
My wolf nodded, and together, we sprinted in the open field. We didn't care about the others and just had our fun in a peaceful environment. For the first time, I feel light and at peace, to the point that it made me emotional. I love this feeling. The fresh air touching on my skin, enjoying my run like I wasn't made from glass, and laughing like an innocent child who worries about nothing but my own. Sadly, my reality wasn't like that. I slowed down and smiled sadly at my wolf as it ran to the wild, joining the other wolves, where it began showing what my wolf truly looked like if it was given a chance to gain its full strength and power.
"You're beautiful and powerful," I said, complimenting my wolf's true form. She's a gamma grey wolf that could blend in with either snow or shadow. It leaned its temple against mine before whimpering softly, nudging like it was telling me to follow her, and I did without question.
My wolf took me to a tribe filled with wolves, but none of them mattered until we stopped in front of a familiar Serch Bythol symbol etched on the wooden door. I looked at my wolf, confused, but she nudged my back, pushing me to open it. I may not understand what's going on, but I did what she requested and opened it. I was not even touching the knob when it opened on its own, and by the time that I did, opening it wider, I saw a huge and beautiful midnight Fenrir.
I was lost on how mighty and majestic this Fenrir was, but something was oddly familiar with the Fenrir, making me state a name before I could even think about it, whispering, "Sage…"
The almost black, midnight Fenrir looked at me, walking closer before sniffing my scent. Then she leaned, staring deeply into me before her body wrapped around me. I don't know what it was doing, but when it tightened around, pulling me closer, I began to melt. I cried out everything that I had no idea had been bottled inside me. I cried like a lost child in a furry Fenrir.
"Because of my weakness, I lost my wolf…I…I'm sorry…I…" I was hiccupping, whining, and crying as I apologized for my weakness, but the Fenrir pulled away, shaking its head before licking my tears away. Then I heard a soothing and gentle, but firm voice.
'You're not weak. You're just not allowed to grow at your own pace.'
"You're just pitying me," I argued, sniffling.
'I know you won't believe that I was once a weak Fenrir. I may not have been bullied, but I'm not the strongest Fenrir until I accept my weakness and see my strength better than I used to.'
I don't believe her, or perhaps I hoped that she was right. But before I could refute and argue back, she continued speaking, firmer and more commanding.
'Now it's your turn. Go home. Survive. Live. Soon, you will face changes bestowed upon you. And when it does, let's meet again.'
It sounded familiar, but I was more confused about what she was talking about, making me mumble, whispering, "I don't understand."
'In time, you will. For now, wake up. Your family is waiting for you. She's waiting for you. Till we meet again, Bernila.'
As soon as those words passed through my ears, I was immediately sucked out of dreaming, dragged back to the surface, where all the pain began crashing on my body. I jolted up in pain, screaming in agony as I also recalled what I'd lost.
"NOOO!!!" I screamed, squirming in pain as I clenched my chest, remembering how my wolf died saving me.
Then I heard rushing footsteps followed by a broken door, and a frantic family in tow. My family looked worried, and my adoptive parents held me in their arms protectively. They let me cry in their arms, giving me time to calm down.
After some time, my adoptive mother, the senior pack doctor, and the alpha's sister, Sandra Grimwolf Daquila, noticed my calmness before asking gently, "Feel better, honey?"
"A little…but…" I replied softly, losing my wolf saddened me again.
Sensing my pain from losing my wolf, she pulled me into her arms and soothingly caressed my back before saying, "We know. We felt it, but we're glad you're finally awake."
I wanted to cry, but my eyes were too tired to release more, and I just leaned on my mother's soothing arms before wondering softly, "How long was I out? "
"A month." My adoptive father and the other senior pack doctor, Alon Daquila, answered me, smiling in relief and squeezing my hands for assurance. It was calming, but it went sour when the alpha began stepping in.
I could feel his rage as he stepped a little closer to the edge of my bed, asking but demanding to my ears, saying, "Bernila, do you remember what happened?" I flinched not because of how intimidating he was as an alpha, but because of his growl, making me cower in my mother's arms. "Answer me."
"Don't force her to speak something she was not ready to answer," Sandra spat defensively, not caring if her brother was the pack's alpha.
"But I need answers so I won't let this happen again," Alpha Ozmon Grimwolf growled back, arguing with his sister, forgetting we're still here.
"She just woke up, and you started being an alpha and not her godfather," My mother defended, growling protectively at him. He was about to argue when the Luna had had enough with their petty argument.
"ENOUGH!" Luna Taylor Grimwolf shouted firmly, making them stop, but still glaring at each other. The Luna sighed over the siblings' argument before continuing, "Don't argue when she just woke up." She might be gentle like nature, but when things get too much or wrong her, she can become worse than the alpha itself and continue disciplining the siblings, reminding them," She's already hurt by the pack's environment toward her, and now she just lost her wolf. Don't add more salt to her wounds that were still bleeding."
"He started it." My mother spat softly, rolling her eyes but holding me protectively in her arms.
"Sandra," Luna Taylor warned, making my mother shrug her shoulders.
"Just saying. If he's here as the alpha, he'd better leave." She spat before adding her firm defense, saying, "She's not ready to face them."
I don't want them to argue because of me, so I took a deep breath, gathering my strength, and slightly pulled away from my mother's hold. She looked at me with her usual worried expression whenever something bad happened to me, but I smiled assuringly. I broke their tension by answering the Alpha's question.
"Don't argue anymore. Mom is right; I'm still hurting, but being a leader, you have the right to know things to prevent it from happening to others." They looked symphonically worried at me while my mother glared at the alpha, making me chuckle softly and weakly before continuing, "It was a last dare, and I got through it, but I'm already overwhelmed with panic and fear, and I lost my med along the way. They were about to get me out after promising me a five-minute mark, but I'm already having my relapse. And you know what could happen to whoever isn't my family when I'm having it. At that moment, relapse and fear of hurting them caused me to miss my footing and fall off the cliff." I sadly smiled at them before apologizing sincerely, "I'm sorry for making you worry again."
"It's alright, honey," Mother said gently, caressing my head.
"If you fell off the cliff, how come you ended up in the pack house's courtyard?" Alpha Ozmon asked, wondering where they had found me.
Honestly, it was my first time hearing it because I had no idea what happened next after I fell, wondering softly, "Courtyard?" I even frowned, thinking deeply, trying to remember what happened afterwards, but it was hazy. And the more I dug it up, the more it stung my head, making me groan. I held my head, trying to support and ease the pain, but it was burning, making me whisper weakly, saying, "I don't remember…"
But I felt hot all of a sudden. Not in the kind of way of being in heat or horny with a need for release, but it was more like having a very high fever. However, seeing blood fall on my duvet, I subconsciously touched my nose where I felt it came from, and the hot liquid became visible, causing my temple to burn, and the bleeding doubled.
I glanced at them, talking about what happened to me animatedly in my background, but I called out, trying to catch my mother's attention, calling her, "Mom…" It came out softly, making me reach out and clench on her sleeves, calling her again, "Mom…I'm bleeding…"
"SHIT!" She exclaimed upon seeing my state and quickly cupped my face, examining me like a doctor before whispering in worry, "What's gotten into you this time?"
I don't know how to answer that since I had no idea what it meant either. Then, later, everything went blurry as my doctors treated my bleeding, but somehow it was not stopping, which confused them. And my mother argued with her brother animatedly in front of me. I wanted to laugh in amusement at how my mother could command the alpha and call the pack elders, but like them, I'm bothered – curious over my extensive bleeding, which lasted for hours.
"What's happening to me?" I wondered, thinking of every possible reason that my mind could ever think of, but nothing seemed to fit my situation, except my mark.