"Who are you…?"
The question slipped out before I could stop it, quieter than I meant it to be, trembling somewhere at the edge of my breath.
Zhan didn't react.
Not even slightly.
He simply started walking toward me, calm and unhurried, as though I hadn't just asked him something that had been circling my mind for far too long. His expression gave me nothing to work with, and somehow that made it worse. I knew there was something behind that blank face.
There always was.
"You're thinking too much, Lu Ying," he said when he was only a step away from me. His voice was soft, almost annoyingly normal. "You should rest a little more. You'll be back to yourself."
Back to myself?
What was that supposed to mean?
He moved a little closer.
Something tightened in my chest.
I didn't know whether it was fear or something else, but my body decided before my mind could.
I turned and ran.
The wind rushed against my face as I moved, but it did nothing to clear my head. If anything, my thoughts only became louder.
Something was wrong.
I knew that much.
I just couldn't figure out what.
I kept going until I spotted Shaan, Lian, and Alex standing together a little farther ahead. Their heads were close, voices low enough that I couldn't make out what they were saying.
The moment they noticed me, all three went quiet.
Way too quickly.
Shaan was the first to speak.
"Lu…" He scratched the back of his neck, looking anywhere but directly at me. "About that sister thing… it was just a prank. I didn't think you'd take it seriously. Sorry, man."
A prank.
Of course.
I stared at him for a little longer than necessary.
His acting was terrible.
Or maybe I was simply too tired to pretend I cared whether he was lying.
"Is that so?" I managed a small smile. "You scared me, you know."
The relief on their faces was almost immediate.
That alone told me enough.
"I'm going to the resting area," I said, already turning away. "See you later."
I didn't wait for an answer.
Their voices started again once they thought I was far enough away.
"It's better this way," Shaan muttered. "Even if it's a lie… I don't want to burden him."
"Yeah…" Alex sounded quieter than usual.
Lian wasn't as easily convinced.
"So we're just going to leave it like that?"
"It's my problem," Shaan said. "I'll deal with it."
A short silence followed.
Then Alex and Lian answered at almost exactly the same time.
"It's ours too, dummy."
I kept walking until their voices disappeared behind me.
I didn't want to know anything else.
Actually, I didn't want to think at all.
Thinking hadn't exactly been helping me today.
I needed to move around, breathe somewhere that didn't have Zhan appearing out of nowhere or my friends whispering behind my back. Anything that would keep my head occupied for a while.
So I asked the teacher if I could walk around the island.
And when I turned around, Kai was already there.
"Here to explore?"
I looked at him suspiciously. "How do you always know what I'm thinking?"
He didn't answer that.
"We could discover it together."
I stared at him for a second before giving in with a smile.
"Sure. Maybe we'll dig up some buried bodies while we're at it."
Kai nodded.
"Okay."
I blinked.
Then laughed.
"I was joking! Don't be so serious."
A faint blush appeared on his face and he quickly looked away.
"Then…" He cleared his throat. "Let's uncover the mysteries of the island."
"That sounds much better." I grinned. "Let's go."
The island turned out to be far bigger than it looked from the beach.
At first, walking around with Kai was actually nice. It gave me something else to pay attention to, and for a while I almost managed to forget everything that had happened earlier.
But the farther we went, the stranger the island began to feel.
It wasn't something obvious enough for me to point at. Nothing jumped out from behind the trees, and there weren't any creepy noises following us around. It was just a feeling that stayed somewhere in the back of my mind.
Kai, meanwhile, seemed perfectly comfortable.
He walked beside me without saying much unless I asked him something. A plant I hadn't seen before, the kind of tree growing nearby, even which direction we should take- he always had an answer.
And he answered too quickly.
Eventually, I couldn't help myself.
"You know a lot."
Kai glanced at me.
"And you're really good with directions too…" I looked around at the unfamiliar landscape before turning back to him. "It's almost like you've been here before."
For the first time, he paused.
It lasted barely a second, but I noticed.
"I just like plants," he said. His usual calmness had already returned. "They're beautiful… in every way."
He looked toward the trees.
"Just like mast- "
He stopped himself.
I waited.
Kai smiled as though nothing had happened.
I could have asked what he'd been about to say.
I didn't.
There were already enough things today that I didn't understand. I wasn't sure I wanted another one.
Eventually we made our way back toward the beach. Kai had suggested we shouldn't wander too deep into the forest, and I wasn't going to argue with that. By the time we reached the edge of it, the sun had already begun to set.
I slowed down.
Golden light stretched across the ocean, breaking apart whenever the waves moved, until the whole surface looked like pieces of the sky had fallen into the water. Far away, the horizon had softened so much that I could barely tell where the sea ended anymore.
The sun sank lower while the moon waited quietly above it.
For a little while, everything seemed still.
It was peaceful.
I wanted to stay inside that feeling for as long as I could. Just stand there and watch the ocean until all the things I didn't understand became small enough to ignore.
Of course, my mind didn't let me.
It never did.
The wind grew stronger, lifting loose sand from the beach and sending some of it straight into my face.
I shut my eyes too late.
"Ah- "
Something had gotten into my right eye.
"Lu."
Kai came closer immediately. "Your eye's red. Let me see."
There was genuine concern in his voice now.
"I'm fine." I rubbed at it carefully and gave him a small smile. "It'll pass."
My eye watered anyway.
Then the other one did too.
At that point, I wasn't sure I could blame the sand anymore.
The sunset blurred in front of me.
I blinked a few times, but that only made the tears fall.
"Kai… you go ahead," I said after a while. "I'll catch up later. I just want to stay here for a bit."
He looked at me, probably trying to decide whether leaving me alone was a good idea.
Eventually, he nodded.
"Don't take too long."
"I won't."
He walked away.
I waited until I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore before sitting down on the sand and loosely wrapping my arms around my knees.
By then, the sky had grown darker.
I looked up.
"Why are you so dull today?" I murmured. "Aren't stars supposed to shine?"
I searched the sky for something recognizable.
Nothing.
"Why can't I see any patterns…?"
Obviously, the sky didn't answer me.
I kept staring anyway.
Then one star flickered.
Just one.
I squinted at it.
For some ridiculous reason, the first thing that came into my head was his face.
A laugh escaped me before I could help it.
"Why him again…? That idiot's face is shining now?"
"Is it?"
My breath caught.
I turned.
Zhan.
He was sitting beside me.
I stared at him.
Wait.
Sitting?
When did he even get here?
I hadn't heard footsteps. I hadn't felt anyone sit down. One second I'd been alone, talking nonsense to a star, and now Zhan was beside me as if that was the most normal thing in the world.
He didn't seem interested in explaining himself either. He just looked up at the sky.
"You went exploring, didn't you?"
I said nothing.
"You should've called me." He glanced at me. "Why did you go with Kai?"
There was something strange in his tone.
Was he… pouting?
Before I could decide, he continued.
"I know more about plants than him. I know which ones are poisonous, which ones are useful, herbs, medicines…" He was speaking faster now. "Animals too. Snakes, insects- "
He stopped.
A second passed.
"…Sorry. I'm talking too much."
I stared at him.
This was the same person I'd run away from earlier.
The same person who never gave me a straight answer, who appeared without warning and somehow always managed to make me question whether I understood anything at all.
And now he was sitting beside me, apparently bothered because I'd gone exploring with Kai.
A small smirk found its way onto my face.
"I should have called you?"
Zhan blinked.
For once, he didn't have an answer ready.
He actually looked caught off guard.
And somehow, seeing that expression on him made the knot in my chest loosen just a little.
I should've been scared of him.
Or angry.
Probably both.
So why wasn't I?
Why, after everything that had happened today, did my mind feel quieter with him sitting beside me?
I looked back at the sky, still smiling slightly.
I didn't understand it.
But for some reason…
it felt nice.