The more he looked at it, the more it seemed that returning to Japan... was laden with disadvantages and problems at every turn.
'But what's the alternative?' Yuta's mind worked through the possibilities 'Fake my death?'
The consequences of that were equally harsh, just in different ways.
'Mom would grieve.' This was unavoidable. If the passenger list had already been released, and given that it had been two days, it almost certainly had .... Then she was probably already grieving. Her thinking she'd lost him, putting her through that pain after everything she'd already been through would be cruel.
'That's actively choosing to hurt her.'
Then there was Eri... Just six years old. She'd just escaped from Overhaul. Was finally starting to feel safe, to come out of her shell, to trust that the world could be kind instead of cruel.
'How would she handle losing me?' The mere thought felt wrong in so many different ways. Like a betrayal of every promise he'd made to her.
Then there was U.A High. Mr. Aizawa would be wrecked with guilt, taking responsibility for all of this. It would destroy something in him
His classmates would mourn. Well, probably with the exception of Bakugo and Todoroki. Both in my view were too wrapped up in their own issues to care much about someone they'd known for barely a week.
But the others? The school would probably have a memorial service. Midoriya would blame himself somehow—the kid had a martyr complex a mile wide. Iida would probably give some speech about honoring his memory through dedication to heroism.
'They'd get over it relatively quickly though. We've been classmates for less than a week. The time to form strong bonds just wasn't there yet.'
The school would face massive problems regardless, but his death would make it worse.
'The first U.A. student death in .... Probably ever. The implications would be staggering.'
Public faith in U.A. and heroes as a whole would plummet. Parents would pull their children from hero courses nationwide. The HPSC would face intense scrutiny about whether hero students should be allowed on internships at all.
This would be beyond Kamino. It would shake the foundation of hero society itself, just like Shigaraki wanted.
The thought of The League Of Villains getting smug off his death made his heart thump with anger.
Then there was the problem that would emerge when he did return. How would people react when he returned? He wasn't sure whether there would be much difference in impact if he survived or not, since hundreds died anyway.
Would they celebrate the miracle survival? Or would they ask why he lived when 697 others didn't? The media would have a field day either way. Questions. Investigations. Conspiracy theories
Perhaps, perhaps not. He would still face public scrutiny, as well as becoming the focus of the League of villains once he returned. Hence, not returning to Japan wasn't a solution to his problems.
It was just delaying what was to come. He would be putting people he knew in unnecessary pain while he was alive all along.
'There has to be another way. Some middle ground I'm not seeing.'
But as he turned the problem over in his mind from every angle, the same conclusion kept appearing. 'Stay away, and I protect them from the League's immediate retaliation. Go back, and I heal the wound of my "death," but I paint a massive neon target on our front door.'
It was a classic pick your poison scenario.
Yuta closed his eyes, his mind drifting back to the moment the train car hit the surface of the Pacific. The roar of the water, the screams of the passengers, and the absolute, crushing weight of his own powerlessness.
He had fought Stain. Triumphed Overhaul Overhaul, and saved Hosu from destruction.
Just two days ago, he was having his own fanbase and appearing on national television.
He had started to believe his own hype—that he was special, that he was the "Miracle of Hosu."
How ironic how one well timed Warp and the ocean had humbled him in seconds. 'That's why I'm even considering this,'
He realized, a chuckle escaping his parched throat.
The truth was ugly to confront, but going back now was simply a tactical error. As much as he hated Shigaraki, facts remained that his plan ... Nearly succeeded.
The only reason Yuta was breathing was a series of statistical anomalies. His Uzumaki vitality, his ability to walk on water, and the sheer luck of the Kanemaru crossing his path.
It didn't matter if Shigaraki was responsible for this plan or it was gift wrapped to him by All For One. It nearly worked and that was all that mattered.
The reason this was a tragedy in the first place, '.. is because I couldn't stop it. If I was as strong as my potential dictated, this never would have happened. If I had perfect Susanoo, I could have lifted the entire train out of the water. If my quirk was developed enough, I could have levitated it and flown it back to land. If I had enough chakra, I could create a thousand shadow clones and have each one save everyone on the train.'
The realization was simultaneously simple and devastating. The reason he was considering this, was because going back now as he was, was suicide.
Shigaraki's plan was nearly foolproof. The only error was that they didn't have enough information on his abilities to know he'd survive long enough to get rescued.
The League Of Villains wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Next time, there wouldn't be a train. There would be a city block. Or his mother's apartment.
Returning now, while still this weak, while unable to prevent another attack if the League truly came after him again... 'That would be leaving my fate to hoping they don't try again before I'm ready.' And Yuta's luck, as recent events had thoroughly demonstrated, was absolutely terrible.
'If I go back now, I'm gambling that the League won't attack again before I'm strong enough to stop them. I'm gambling that my family won't become targets. I'm gambling that I can get strong enough while attending U.A. full-time and dealing with their curriculum and hero training and everything else.'
'And if I lose that gamble, more people die. Maybe hundreds more. Maybe thousands.'
He stared at the rust-stained ceiling as he realized what should have been an obvious truth.
If it concerned being a hero, then U.A. was essential. The best hero school in Japan, with world-class teachers and incredible resources.
But if it solely concerned growing stronger. Really, genuinely stronger in the ways that mattered for his unique abilities, then U.A. was holding him back.
His current strength relied heavily on his ninja abilities, not his quirk. Chakra, Sharingan, techniques from a world that didn't exist here. And U.A. couldn't help with any of that. They didn't even understand how it worked. 'In the entire world, literally no one knows how my abilities work better than I do. I'm the only reference point I'll ever have for this.'
Shadow Clone training. Sharingan mastery. Developing the Rasengan. Chakra Growth. Eventually, maybe, accessing his Mangekyō abilities without immediately going blind.
Literally no one could help him better than he could help himself. 'U.A. can make me a better hero. But it can't make me strong enough to stop the League from killing civilians to get to me.'
And that was the core of it, wasn't it?
'Strength. That's what this comes down to. Not protection, not hiding, not running away.'
'The core of almost every shonen protagonist. The need to get stronger. Strong enough that the next time the League comes for me, I can stop them. Permanently.'
'Strong enough that innocent people don't die as collateral damage in someone else's vendetta against me.'
'So it ultimately boils down to two choices.'
Choice One: Return to Japan now. Put everyone in danger—myself, my family, my classmates, random civilians. Leave my fate, which has proven more than once to be absolutely terrible when it wants to be, to chance. Train at U.A. while dealing with their curriculum, growing stronger slowly, and hoping the League doesn't attack again before I'm ready.
Choice Two: Stay "dead" for now. Disappear. Train without restrictions or distractions. Focus entirely on developing my chakra, my Sharingan, my unique abilities. Come back when I'm strong enough to handle any situation thrown at me.
Both choices had costs. One risked lives. The other caused pain.
'But which cost can I actually live with?'
The choice still wouldn't come. 'Is there really no other way?'
He ran through the possibilities one more time.
'Or is there something here I'm not seeing? Something that solves both problems for me while I ...?'
He paused as an idea dropped into his mind.
It felt .... obvious really. 'Well ... Yeah. That should work.'
_
[MV KANEMARU – CREW MESS – SAME TIME]
Koji looked up from the pot of something that might generously be called stew as the Captain entered. "He awake?"
"Yeah." Kagemaru moved to the coffee pot, pouring himself a cup of the thick, bitter liquid that passed for caffeine on this ship. "Conscious and lying through his teeth."
"About?"
"Everything except the part where he almost died in the ocean." Kagemaru took a sip, grimaced.
"Kid's running from something. Or someone. My money's on someone. Either way, being found at see means his ship either sunk or he was left for dead."
Koji stirred the pot thoughtfully. "Authorities?"
"No. Quirk says otherwise." Kagemaru leaned against the scarred wooden table, the steam from his coffee. "Kid's got no malice, or any intent to harm us."
"That's not really much to go on." Koji lowered his head.
"It's all I need to decide not to throw him overboard again."
"Touche."
__
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