I sat cross-legged on the tatami, took a deep breath, and tried to relax my still-tired muscles. I closed my eyes and tried to think of nothing.
(Damn, this is so difficult! Why does the practice of meditation seem so easy in stories when you hear about it?)
Everything I knew about meditation was thanks to my grandmother's stories about Buddhism in my past life. Meditation was a millennial practice of mind training that aims to achieve a state of calm and self-awareness by focusing attention on an object, thought, or breath. Although I had never tried it, it seemed like the concept was easy to put into practice.
First, I took a deep breath, trying to clear my mind of any thoughts. But that wasn't working either, so I tried a different approach: instead of simply trying to stop thinking, I started focusing on my senses to follow the rhythm of my breath.
Calmly, sitting there cross-legged with my eyes closed, I focused entirely on just listening to my breathing.
At first, everything felt strange. My body wanted to move, my back complained, and my mind raced like a wild horse, firing off random thoughts.
I took a deep breath, slowly, through my nose... then let the air out through my mouth, trying to feel the air leave, as if I were releasing an invisible weight. I did this a few times and realized my body began to relax, even if my head was still noisy.
My breathing became my anchor. I felt the air coming in, expanding my chest... and going out, taking away anxiety and boredom. Gradually, the clutter inside my head became quieter.
It wasn't absolute silence, but it was different. It was as if I was finally succeeding... until:
"Haruki-sama!!!"
Suddenly, I woke up.
It was Hana who hastily opened the Dojo door and rushed in, calling my name.
"I finally found you, Haruki-sama! It's almost time for dinner, you need to take a quick bath and get ready! Come on, come on!" she said, clapping her hands.
I sighed. Being interrupted when I was finally managing to concentrate was very frustrating.
"Alright, alright, Hana, I'm coming," I said to her as I got up.
(Damn, I was almost there. There's no help for it, from today on I will set aside at least two hours of meditation every day until I can finally sense my Aura.) I thought to myself.
"You know, Hana, I was almost succeeding at something really cool before you arrived," I said to her as we walked.
"Oh really? To me, it looked like Haruki-sama was just dozing off sitting on the floor," she replied, hand on her chin and head tilted in doubt about what I was talking about.
I sighed and replied to her.
"You know, Hana, not everything is as it seems."
"How so?" she asked.
"Haha... forget it, it would be difficult to explain."
"Haruki-sama, don't try to change the subject, are you by any chance trying to skip your bath?"
She asked me, with a suspicious look on her face.
"Of course not!" I replied hastily, my face flushed.
"That's good. Your bath is ready. The water is already at the ideal temperature, and I also added yuzu essence, as your mother requested."
I nodded, a little unsure of what to say. Hana had always taken care of me.
"Thank you," I murmured.
She walked by my side, accompanying me down the corridor. It wasn't necessary, but she did it sometimes, perhaps out of habit or perhaps out of care.
The gentle sound of our footsteps echoed, and for a few seconds, no one spoke. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence; it was the kind of silence that is part of the place.
"Will dinner be formal tonight?" I asked quietly.
"Yes," she said. "Your father requested that you behave appropriately."
I sighed internally.
"I always behave."
Hana turned her face in my direction, just enough for me to see an almost amused sparkle in her eyes.
"Sometimes," she corrected.
I couldn't help but chuckle softly.
We arrived at the sliding door that separated the corridor from the bathing area. The wood of the shoji there was darker, as if it protected a more intimate space.
Hana stopped, bowed again, and said:
"Enjoy your bath, Haruki-sama. I will notify the family when you are ready for dinner."
"Alright. Thank you… for everything," I said to her.
She blinked slightly, as if she understood more than I was saying, and then disappeared down the corridor. I stood there for a moment, alone, with the door in front of me. I took a deep breath before sliding the shoji open.
The warm steam escaped and enveloped my face like a hug.
After the bath, my body felt lighter, as if the hot water had dissolved the weight of my physical exhaustion and mental fatigue for a few minutes. In my room, I put on my formal yukata, a dark blue fabric with discreet gold details, and carefully tied the sash. In the mirror, I tried to smooth my hair, but a rebellious strand insisted on sticking up. I sighed and left it as it was; some things weren't worth the fight.
When I left the room, the aroma of dinner was already in the air: dashi broth, shoyu (soy sauce), maybe grilled meat... and the unmistakable smell of freshly cooked rice.
Arriving at the dining room, the shoji door was already open when I got there. Hana was at the entrance and bowed in greeting when she saw me, as always.
"Haruki-sama. Your family is waiting for you."
I nodded, silently inhaled as if before entering a rival dojo, and stepped inside.