"Rael, I think we should break up."
Her voice echoed through the silent room, almost weighty in its stillness.
I did not answer immediately, and it wasn't as if the confession struck me like thunder, after all, I had expected a situation like this, considering the vast difference that had always existed between us as a couple.
Yet still, a strange, unfamiliar feeling seeped in slowly, like cold through thin fabric, settling into every fragile place Rael had once clung to so desperately in order to protect.
These emotions were not truly mine, I knew that.
They belonged to the previous Rael, resurfacing through the memories that now haunted me.
Even so… I would be lying if I said it didn't hit a little hard.
Once she was gone, surviving would become difficult as hell.
Paying for this residence, along with my other bills and expenses, would no longer be a simple possibility but a looming nightmare.
Heck, even those loan sharks would start showing up more frequently, something I had no desire to relive, yet already knew the pattern of from those lingering recollections.
Perhaps… I might even be forced to return to the petty job I'd been doing before meeting her.
It wasn't entirely unbearable, just painfully time-wasting, the kind of work that slowly scraped away whatever remained of one's dignity.
When I summed it all up, the situation felt eerily familiar, like the time my ATM had refused to dispense money, when I had committed a crime and lost the protection of politicians and every shallow connection that once shielded me.
A quiet, suffocating downfall, unfolding once more, only this time, I could see it coming.
For a moment, I simply stared at her, searching for some contradiction that might defy her words.
It felt strange that I had already pondered so much without receiving any explicit explanation from her.
"I understand that. Why?" I asked, keeping my voice as polite as it could possibly be, stripped entirely of protest.
There was no anger in it, only quiet restraint.
I had chosen such a simple, direct question instead of resisting, because from the memories I had received, I knew Endorsi truly loved Rael.
She would never dare say something like this unless there was a reason, a solid one, anchoring her resolve.
At my words, Endorsi's expression flickered, grief giving way to guilt, then to a brittle resolve, each emotion clashing behind her carefully composed exterior.
"It's nice to hear that you're being cooperative… otherwise, this would have been troublesome..." she murmured softly.
She inhaled deeply before continuing, as though forcing air into lungs weighed down by hesitation.
"And as for why... well, it's just that... I think this is better for both of us."
Her voice trailed off as she finished, fingers clenched and unclenched around the hem of her dress in a repetitive, betraying motion.
I gave a faint nod in response, though I knew all too well that the reason she had offered was as far from the truth as it could possibly be.
Both Rael's memories and my own ability to dissect behaviour, to read minute shifts in tone and pattern, told me that much.
It was the quiet disappointment of a master who realises his apprentice has failed to meet even the most modest expectation.
I had not sharpened my perception for nothing.
I did not say anything.
If she truly had a reason good enough to sever something she once cherished, then so be it.
I would not disgrace either of us by begging for sentiment that had already been buried.
Feelings, after all, were fragile things, easily rewritten, easily erased.
But reality was not so accommodating.
And reality was expensive.
A quiet breath escaped me before I spoke again, my gaze never leaving her face.
"If this is truly your decision," I began evenly, "then I won't stand in your way."
A brief pause followed, the kind that carried no emotion but weighed heavy all the same.
"However, I need to know something."
Her brows knit slightly, wary.
"Will you continue covering my expenses?" I asked, tone calm, clinical, as though discussing a contract rather than the remains of a relationship.
"The residence, the repayments, the daily costs. Without your support, my situation becomes… kind of unstable."
For a split second, her expression froze, as if she had expected something else then signs of discomfort crept on her face, followed by a familiar hesitation.
"Rael, I— that wouldn't be appropriate anymore," she replied, averting her eyes.
"We're not together. It wouldn't make sense for me to keep funding your life when there's no reason for it."
"No reason," I repeated quietly, a faint, humourless curve touching my lips.
"Is that so?"
She gathered herself, clearly clinging to whatever justification she could muster.
"You need to learn to stand on your own now. This dependency isn't healthy, not for you, not for me. You'll figure it out something... you're stronger than you think, and i know that personally."
A faint exhale left me.
A conveniently noble excuse, wrapped neatly in concern, yet hollow all the same.
From the memories, I knew very well she was not unaware of the consequences her decision would bring, and she still choose to call it growth.
"So I assume from that you will no longer be visiting…" I murmured quietly.
She simply nodded, still not daring to meet my eyes, as if even acknowledging my gaze would make this more difficult than it already was.
"You know," I continued, my tone hollow and strangely distant, "there was a time when I believed you were the one thing in this world that wasn't temporary. That even if everything else collapsed, you'd remain, but ho—"
I spoke on, trying to imitate the way Rael would have expressed such feelings, even knowing that it was nothing more than a desperate attempt to sway her heart, manipulating the fragile remnants of affection into reconsideration.
As expected, it proved futile.
Or rather, I was cut off before I could even complete the thought.
"Rael, you're wasting your breath."
Her eyes didn't soften, not even for a second.
"This is not a discussion, and it's certainly not a goodbye worth dramatics. I'm leaving. You'll manage, like you always have so do me a favor and don't contact me again."