Chapter 76: Speak Human Language
"Excuse me, are you two talking about me?" A soft, graceful female voice suddenly flowed from behind them like silk in the wind, warm and pleasant enough to make anyone turn their head.
The instant Kouya heard that familiar voice, his expression froze, then darkened like thunderclouds gathering overhead.
Speak of the devil, huh!
"Why is it that the very moment someone dares to mention your name, you always pop out of nowhere, right behind them, like some horror movie jump scare!"
"Even if you say that, I just happened to be walking by the door..." Raphiel blinked innocently, her expression radiating purity and grace. Her tone was soft, yet every syllable carried that faint, teasing undertone that made Kouya's scalp tighten.
"You're that dark creature!" Takanashi Rikka took a defensive step back, her single visible eye full of alarm.
"Eh, dark creature? Are you referring to me?" Raphiel's silver lashes fluttered as she tilted her head, smiling serenely. Her hair shimmered under the sunlight, each strand glowing faintly like threads of silver mist. When the breeze stirred it, she looked like a celestial vision descending to earth.
A few girls walking by stopped in their tracks, hearts practically popping from their chests.
"Ahhh, it's Shiraha-san!"
"Her smile is heavenly today too! So pure and calm!"
Pure, my ass!
You blind fools, go to Germany and get your eyes checked!
That smile hides a level of evil so deep it should be classified as a national threat!
She's like a strawberry cake filled with charcoal inside — cute on the outside, pitch-black within!
"I don't really understand what this classmate means, but being called a dark creature... that does sting a little." Raphiel laughed softly, her every move calculated grace as she stepped forward, the light catching her like a saint's halo.
"D-Don't come closer!" Rikka flinched, panic flashing in her eye as she clutched the eyepatch over her left eye. "My Wicked Eye isn't stable yet! If it activates accidentally, you could get hurt! A-Ahh, ow ow ow! Don't pinch me!"
"Hehe, it feels nice to touch though." Raphiel giggled, her fingers playfully pressing into Rikka's cheeks as she examined her like a toy. "Wicked Eye, huh? Sounds impressive. Let me see if it's really that special."
"N-No! Only my Hero can gaze upon it! Dark creatures must never—"
"Oh? You're making me even more curious now."
"Hero-sama! H-Help me!" Rikka reached toward Kouya like a drowning soul reaching for salvation.
Kouya merely sighed. Even though Raphiel was as black-hearted as they came, she knew how to hold back. She never crossed the line—just enough teasing to entertain herself and charm others. If she didn't, she wouldn't be worshiped by half the girls in school.
The group of girls nearby let out another shrill scream of delight.
"Ahhh! As expected of the super-gentle Shiraha-san!"
"She's already befriending the new transfer student!"
"Shiraha-san's so cute I'm gonna die!"
You're all hopeless.
That black-hearted angel is bullying the poor ahoge girl! Are none of you seeing the tears forming in her eyes?!
Kouya groaned and got up, walking off toward the restroom to cool his head.
At the corner of the hallway, he almost collided with Vigne, who had just stepped out of the staff office.
Vigne blinked in surprise, then bit her lip. Her voice was soft as she asked, "Why didn't Gabi-chan come to school with you today?"
Why that question, of all things?
Even on a good day, that stupid angel and I never walk together! We live in the same complex, not the same orbit!
"I've got nothing to do with her. Why would I come to school with her?"
Vigne seemed to relax a little. She fell into step beside him and murmured, "That's strange though. Satania didn't show up today either. She may not be the best student, but she never skips class..."
It's not that she didn't come to school—it's that she can't!
Because that airheaded demon is currently tied to a chair at Raphiel's house getting 'reeducated!'
"Raphiel told me Satania wasn't feeling well and asked me to request leave for her... but I can't help feeling uneasy. Maybe I should visit after class..."
For the love of all that's holy—don't go!
You'll never see the world the same again!
Open that door, and you'll find a girl tied up in professional-grade ropework, a ball gag in her mouth, and probably a collection of suspiciously shiny toys nearby!
A few passing girls cast curious glances their way.
Vigne immediately clammed up, cheeks flushed, and hurried off as if scared of rumors starting.
Kouya watched her leave, feeling an odd twinge of irritation.
Why so nervous? It's just talking! You chatted with me just fine at the amusement park, but now that we're on school grounds, suddenly you're shy?
Wait a second.
Don't tell me... you're following the same ridiculous student moral code as Gabi-chan before she fell from grace—that boys and girls must maintain distance?
You're a demon!
That angel following such nonsense is one thing, but why would you of all people act so prim and proper?!
Has Hell gone wholesome now? Or are you secretly a fake demon, actually an angel undercover?!
...
Before long, the bell rang for lunch.
Kouya stretched, stood up, and was about to head to the cafeteria when he noticed faint footsteps tailing him from behind.
He turned around, and sure enough, the petite figure of Takanashi Rikka was following a few meters back, trying to look inconspicuous and failing miserably.
"Why are you following me?" Kouya asked flatly.
"Um..." Rikka pressed her index fingers together nervously, eyes darting. "I sensed the presence of darkness around you, so I must stay near the Hero to protect the world from evil's resurgence..."
"Speak. Human. Language." Kouya's deadpan stare could have cracked stone.
"Oh..." Rikka mumbled, shrinking a little. "I just transferred here and don't know where to eat lunch."
Kouya exhaled through his nose. In this world, blending in was everything. Girls who stood out too much—especially ones as dramatically weird as Rikka—were bound to end up isolated.
He looked at her and sighed. "Come with me."
Her face instantly brightened. "Mm!"
The two walked out together. The midday sun was warm, and Kouya quickly spotted Vigne in a shaded corner, opening her bento.
He approached and pointed at Rikka. "It's her first day here. She's got no idea how lunch works."
To be honest, Kouya wanted nothing more than to hand the ahoge girl off to someone else. She was a walking headache.
But if it was Vigne, she'd definitely take care of her kindly.
As expected, Vigne immediately put away her chopsticks and smiled warmly. "Takanashi-san, right? I'm Vignette. You can ask me for help anytime, okay?"
Rikka hesitated, hiding behind Kouya like a spooked cat. Her ahoge twitched repeatedly as she peeked at Vigne with caution.
"Hero, Hero, that girl feels unusual... just like that dark creature before..."
Are you actually terminally chuunibyou or just playing around?!
And I'm not your damn Hero—I'm the Demon King!
"Eh? What's Takanashi-san saying?" Vigne asked, clearly puzzled.
"No clue," Kouya said with a shrug. "Word is she's in the late stage of chuunibyou. Just like that Gabriel, except instead of divine cultivation, it's pure delusion."
"Watch your mouth!" Vigne puffed her cheeks in mock anger, then turned to Rikka, her voice full of concern. "Rikka-san, you look pale. Are you feeling unwell?"
Rikka placed a hand on her stomach, nodding gravely before slowly shaking her head.
"Last night... the Bureau Chief of the Unseen Boundary Administration cast a forbidden spell on my alarm clock..."
Vigne blinked, already lost.
"So this morning, my alarm didn't go off. I was sealed within my bed by the blanket of slumber..."
Sealed, my ass!
You just overslept!
"By the time I broke free of the seal, it was too late. I couldn't even replenish my mana before the first bell rang..."
Replenish your what?!
You're not a mage, damn it!
Vigne groaned, pressing her palm against her forehead. "So what you mean is... you forgot to set your alarm, overslept, and missed breakfast, right?"
Rikka nodded with grave seriousness, her ahoge bouncing in rhythm. "Exactly. That's what happened."
Vigne: "..."