Oga and I stood across from the three members of the Red Tail, completely unbothered while they glared at us. Oga had that blank face he always wore, the one that said he did not care about anything happening around him. I was grinning like an idiot because the whole situation was funny as hell.
"You're Furuichi and Oga?" Kunieda asked. She sounded calm, but even from where I was standing, I could practically feel the panic radiating off her. Her eyes flicked between us like she was waiting for a bomb to go off.
Inside her head, I could hear her thoughts tripping over themselves. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. It's those guys from the park. They don't know it's me, right? No, my disguise was perfect. If they did, they would have said something already.'
"Yeah, we are. What of it?" Oga replied, stepping forward, as clueless and blunt as always. Beel bobbed a little on his head but didn't look away from Kunieda.
I just kept smiling. Watching the girl get thrown off by her own secrets was great. Kunieda shifted her grip on the wooden sword like it might shield her from embarrassment, and that was when she finally noticed Beel staring at her.
Beel sat on Oga's head like a tiny judgmental king, his eyes locked on her. He stared, then looked away, then snapped his gaze back to her like he was checking if she was still suspicious. Kunieda stiffened each time, her shoulders twitching the way people do when a baby reads their soul.
I honestly had no idea if the kid actually knew her real identity and was just messing with her, but it was funny as hell watching her silently spiral while Oga stood there like a brick wall with a toddler crown.
"Hey, look, the Red Tail is gonna fight the Rampaging Ogre and the Field King." We could hear the whispers start up fast as a crowd gathered, students drifting in like they were sharks smelling blood in the water.
I glanced at Kunieeda, who was still freaking out. 'Oga's a high school student and has a kid? But why did he bring him to school? Is he such a bad guy?'
She seemed to be calming down a bit, so obviously I had to throw some fuel on the fire. As she looked between the two of us, I casually lifted my hand and mimed pushing up a pair of glasses.
Her eyes went wide.
'HE KNOWS!'
Yes, I do. So what are you gonna do now? Oh, I can't wait to see. "So now that you've found us," I said aloud, still smiling at her, "what are you going to do?"
"Aoi?" Nene, seeing nothing happening, looked at her leader, confused.
That was when I saw Kunieda take a small breath and lock in. Her posture tightened, her eyes sharpening. She raised her wooden sword and, in a single smooth motion, sliced the entire window beside us clean out.
The whole corridor went silent. Even Oga and Beel stared, stunned.
"Put the kid down. You will not be able to fight like that," she said.
"Oooh." Beel made a little noise of awe, stars practically glowing in his eyes as he stared at the clean cut she had just made. Oga and I both noticed, and I could practically see the gears turning in his thick skull.
"So you want to fight us, huh?" Oga asked with a smile. "It's fine. I'll deal with you like this."
She kissed her teeth and glared at him. "Tatsumi Oga, you really are a bastard!"
The moment the words left her mouth, she lunged. Her wooden sword shot forward like she meant to skewer him, but Oga slipped left at the last second. Her strike only tore through the edge of his shirt, ripping the fabric with a sharp snap.
"Well, I guess we're doing this then," I said, stepping forward with a grin. "Dibs on the redhead."
Nene cracked her knuckles and stepped toward me, eyes full of murder. "Dibs, really? Fine. I'll flatten you first."
Before I could answer, she charged. I tilted my head to the side as her fist cut through the air where my face had been.
"Aren't you quick?" I said, backing up a step. "Didn't think I made you that mad already." Her eyebrow twitched, but she kept swinging. Another punch. Another dodge. Her ponytail flicked behind her as she moved.
"You think this is funny!?" she snapped.
"A little," I admitted, slipping around a jab. Her cheeks flared at my answer, but she pushed forward again with a sharp kick. I hopped out of the way.
"Stand still and fight me!"
"I will eventually," I said, hands in my pockets, big grin on my face. "But you're cute when you're mad, so this is entertaining."
That did it. Her whole face went red. She swung twice as hard, but the moment she got flustered, her footwork lost its edge. I spun lightly out of reach.
"I am NOT cute!" she shouted.
"You're right. You're terrifying," I said with a nod. "I'm shaking in my boots." She let out a frustrated sound and went for a fast combo. I leaned away from everything with minimal movement, watching her expression twist between fury and disbelief that she hadn't hit me once.
"Are you even taking this seriously!?" she demanded.
"Not really, no," I said. "But don't blame yourself, there aren't a lot of people that can make me get serious." She clenched her fists and charged again. I stepped aside, and she blew past me by accident.
She stopped, spun around, and pointed at me. "Quit messing with me!"
"Okay," I said, smiling. "But first you gotta land a hit."
Her eye twitched again. "I'm going to hurt you."
"Yes, I've gathered that from all the punching," I said.
She let out a frustrated groan and ran at me again. I dodged again, watching her brush past with that same furious blush spreading across her cheeks.
What I didn't expect was for her to suddenly get faster. A lot faster. I still dodged, but as I slipped past her swipe, I caught a glimpse of something under her sleeve. Faint red lines pulsed across her skin like they were alive.
'Well now, that's interesting.' Our fight, if you could even call it that, was then interrupted by a loud crash. We both turned to see a large part of the hallway destroyed.
Kunieda knelt there after her attack, catching her breath. Before she could react, Oga closed in. I could see from her expression that she thought he was about to hit her, and she actually shut her eyes. Instead, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her upright.
"Aoi!" Nene started forward to help her leader, but Oga spoke first.
"Please, become this child's mother!"
Silence settled over the hall. The members of Red Tail and the spectating students all froze like statues. Even the air felt stunned.
"Eh?" Kunieda let out an atomic blush as she started stuttering. "W-w-w-w-what are you saying!? You're joking, right?! I do not even want to fight anymore! You idiot, dumb idiot!"
She took off in a flash, the other two following after her and calling her name. I leaned forward and started laughing quietly at their reactions, trying not to fall over from how ridiculous the whole scene had become.
"Huh, what did I do?" Oga looked genuinely confused.
"You know, man, if I had a nickel for every time you asked a girl to have your kid, I'd have two nickels. Which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice," I said through my laughs.
Oga still did not understand, and I could practically see the question marks popping up over his head. Never change, Oga. Never change.
The hallway finally emptied out after the Red Tail stormed off, and I stretched my arms like I'd just watched a matinee comedy instead of surviving a gang confrontation.
"Man," I muttered, still grinning, "that was way more entertaining than it had any right to be."
Beel was still perched on Oga's head, kicking his feet happily like nothing unusual had happened. Oga glanced at me, confused as always, like the entire world was speaking in a language only he didn't understand.
I looked in the direction Kunieda and her two lieutenants had run off. 'Yup. She's spiralling. Again. God, this school year is gonna be fun.'
I shoved my hands in my pockets and started walking, the grin refusing to leave my face.
"Come on, Oga. Let's go before someone else challenges you to a duel or asks you to be their kid's dad." Beel squealed in agreement.
And honestly? Yeah. I couldn't wait to see what happened next.
----
Nene Omori
Nene huffed, still wound up from everything that happened. "That Oga guy really is the worst. It's obvious he was just trying to mess with you, and don't even get me started on Furuichi. He didn't take our fight seriously at all. It's so obvious they were just messing with us. Aoi, don't fall for their cheap tricks. Right, Chiaki?"
Chiaki didn't bother with words. She simply nodded, expression flat as always.
"Hmm… I wonder if he's divorced?" Aoi muttered to herself. Both girls behind her froze, staring at her back in shock.
----
"This is bad. The way Aoi reacted to Oga…" Nene asked. "Chiaki, what do you think?"
"She's completely head over heels," Chiaki replied quietly.
Nene's eye twitched. "That girl, losing her self-control like that." She rubbed her temple, feeling a headache forming.
"That's a bit ironic, considering what happened while you were fighting Furuichi," Chiaki said, a tiny smirk tugging at her lips.
Nene stiffened. "I didn't lose control. I was perfectly focused."
"You activated your circuits," Chiaki replied calmly.
"Because he kept dodging!"
"And flirting."
Nene's face heated. "He wasn't flirting. He was being annoying."
"He called you cute."
Nene sputtered. "He was mocking me!"
Chiaki gave a slow, silent nod that said she absolutely didn't believe that. "If you say so."
Nene groaned, face turning redder. "I swear, the next time I see him, I'm breaking his nose."
Chiaki tilted her head. "You tried that already."
Nene covered her face with both hands. "Can we please focus on Aoi!"
She took a deep breath, calming herself. "I just hope Aoi hasn't forgotten about the rules of the Red Tail."
Chiaki didn't respond. She just kept walking beside Nene in silence.
----
Takayuki Furuichi
"You saw it, right? That Kunieda chick was powerful. Even Beel was actually impressed for a change. If it's her, then this kid will definitely get attached!" Oga said, practically glowing as his latest plan to dump Beel on some unsuspecting woman took shape in that brick of a skull he calls a brain.
I stared at him while taking a bite of my pizza. "You're still trying that? I thought you were past it?"
Oga looked at me like I was the idiot in this conversation. Beel, still sitting on his head, nodded along like a tiny green-eyed judge agreeing with the sentence.
I swallowed and squinted at them. "Dude, seriously. You already tried this with Kanzaki, and I bet you were gonna do the same with Himekawa before I beat him down. You really gonna keep going?
Beel made a happy noise and pointed in Kunieda's direction like he approved the idea.
Oga crossed his arms, satisfied. "Yes. This time it'll work, it's a perfect and responsible idea."
"Yeah," I said dryly, taking another bite, "because nothing screams responsible parenting like speed-running potential moms."
Oga ignored me completely, lost in whatever delusional strategy was currently cooking in his head. Beel kicked his feet excitedly, probably not knowing what we were even talking about.
'Great,' I thought, watching them both. 'He really is going to try this again. And I'm going to have front-row seats to the disaster.'
I took another bite of pizza. Honestly? I wasn't complaining.
"I'm gonna shove this baby on her if it's the last thing I do!" Oga shouted to himself.
"How shameless," I shook my head.
"And just who are you trying to force what on?" Hilda's voice drifted down from above.
We looked up. Hilda stood on the railing, balanced like it was flat ground. Her glossy blonde hair was tied in a bun, one lock covering her left eye, the rest falling neatly along the elegant black frills of her gothic lolita outfit.
'I can see her panties from this angle,' I thought.
"Oga, when will you stop forgetting the Young Master's milk?" Hilda asked, completely monotone, like she was commenting on the weather instead of scolding a delinquent on a railing.
"As soon as you start making normal entrances," Oga replied without looking up, like this was the most routine conversation in the world.
----
"Hmm, I see… a woman, huh." Hilda tapped her chin, her voice cool and analytical as she held Beel in one arm. "Well, it is certainly true that the Young Master will take to anyone strong, regardless of whether they are a man or a woman," Hilda spoke as she fed Beel his bottle, her expression unreadable as she assessed Oga's ridiculous plan.
"If there is somebody that strong in this school, then I'd like to meet her." Hilda shifted Beel slightly, keeping her tone calm and almost bored. "Ah, no, Young Master, you're spilling it."
Beel had tilted the bottle too far, milk dribbling down his face. Hilda wiped it with a small cloth she seemed to produce out of nowhere.
I let out a low breath. "Oh, that's gonna be a misunderstanding and a half."
Hilda didn't even glance my way, too busy fixing Beel's grip on the bottle. Oga, of course, looked proud of himself, like this plan of his had already solved all of his problems.
Then we all heard a sharp crack. The baby bottle in Hilda's hand shattered, upsetting Beel and spilling milk onto the courtyard tiles.
"Oh ho, I spot me an Oga bride." The voice came from across the school courtyard, nasally and full of false confidence. Some guy in a red shirt swaggered forward; behind him loomed the rest of MK5, all bulk and no brain, trying their hardest to look intimidating.
I stared at the ringleader. 'Oh look, a literal red-shirt cannon fodder.' I stared at Ikari, the leader of the group.
My eyes slid to Hilda. A shadow fell over her face, hiding everything except the tiny twitch at the corner of her mouth. Her posture was still elegant, but the air around her felt like it had dropped ten degrees.
'Welp, they're fucked.' I thought, shaking my head.
"You wanna play happy family at a time like this, Oga?" The leader barked, clearly thinking he was the main character here.
"And Furuichi, did you really think you'd get away scot free after what you did to my boys?" He glared at me.
'What boys? Did I beat up some of his friends or something?' Honestly, it's not like I keep track of who comes and starts shit with me; I just make sure to end it when somebody does.
Oga just exhaled slowly, like this was a huge inconvenience. While I rolled my eyes at the guys.
"Ki, ki. Ishiyama ain't all about the Tōhōshinki, you know? If you value the life of your brat and bitch..." He started talking to Oga, but he didn't get to finish.
Hilda didn't move so much as disappear from beside us. One blink and she was standing in the middle of MK5, skirts swaying as the dust settled around her feet.
"It seems you're the ones who don't value their lives."
Her pink umbrella flicked open with a soft whump, completely at odds with what came next.
She swung.
The scarred bald one flew sideways like someone had unplugged his gravity.
The blonde one with a heart on his face crumpled with a strangled yelp.
The guy with glasses spun through the air, lenses shattering mid-flight.
The big and tall one managed half a grunt before he was lifted clean off his feet and bounced across the courtyard like a dropped mattress.
Ikari, their so-called leader, didn't stand so much as shake where he was rooted. He watched her dismantle MK5 in under two seconds and couldn't force out a single sound. Hilda slowly turned toward him, lips forming a cruel smile.
She didn't stop hitting him until his face was swollen..
I didn't bother pretending to be surprised as Oga and I watched from the side, Beel now perched back on his head, clapping happily at the violence unfolding in front of him.
"Whoa, insta kill." "Damn, she's strong!" "Oga's wife really doesn't hold back!"
I could hear the murmurs ripple through the crowd that had formed once they noticed MK5 strutting toward us.
'Well, this is going to start some rumours,' I thought while watching Hilda continue to pound Ikari into the pavement.
"Do you think we should stop her?" Oga asked.
I glanced at him, then at Hilda, then back at him again.
"Be my guest, but you might end up like the cannon fodder over there." I pointed at Ikari's twitching form.
"Wait, wait, I'm sorr-Ahh!" Ikari yelped as Hilda ignored his plea completely.
"Hmm, best to just let her get it out of her system," Oga nodded to himself.
"Yep," I agreed.
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If you like this story, leave a review in English. It helps. Love you, bye ;)
P.S. Read the author note, it's kinda important this time.