Idalia pushed forward towards the lone flickering light. Ignoring the way the bushes swept past her legs and the stones jammed against the flat of her feet.
Closer.
Closer.
"Julie!" Someone called out to her in a hushed voice. "Julie! Over here!"
It was Rosabel, in a knee-length white dress with a flickering torch in one hand and a stick in the other.
Rosabel.
Her saviour.
Idalia ran towards her and when her hands held Rosabel's they began to run together.
The images flooded her mind again, as if it were fractured, with different memories spilling randomly to the surface.
'Mother?' The worry in her voice echoed in her ears. She rushed from room to room, and her hand held the door—-
They stopped.
It was that jarring action that yanked her out of her mind and right into the present.
They had stopped.
Rosabel looked around, as if she were searching for something.
While she did that, the questions built in Idalia's mind. She blinked, confused.
"How—"
"I'm sorry."
That was all Idalia heard before Rosabel swung the stick in her hand against her leg and she crashed to the floor. She had to ease her fall with her hands so she wouldn't hurt Arik.
The shock of the situation dulled every sound around her into an echo, the movement made her blend into two realities at the same time.
The past.
And the present.
The way she had crashed to her knees when she had finally seen her mother.
The silence.
The shock.
"Here!" Rosabel's voice sounded nothing more than an echo. "I found her! She is right here!"
Idalia could feel hands dragging her after that. Next thing she knew, she was right in front of the mansion.
Madam Fion stood in front of her, next to her was Ms Gwendolyn, and a crowd formed around them.
She was thrown to her knees, Arik was now crying.
"She is ready to apologise," she heard Rosabel say.
But everything felt like a blur to Idalia. The people, the voices, everything. She kept being pulled from the memory to his eyes then the present and back. Her head felt heavier and heavier by the second.
Idalia did not know when it began to rain but the droplet of the cold liquid was starting to hit her skin and her body instinctively stayed hunched to protect Arik, even though her mind was far away.
"I hear no apologies," Ms Gwendolyn remarked.
Then Madam Fion yanked up her chin.
But that action drew her right back to the room, when she had raised her head to the ceiling to her mother dangling from it.
Her lips trembled with words she couldn't speak, just like in the memory, hot tears ran down her cheeks.
"Apologise for all the troubles you have caused Ms Gwendolyn." Madam Fion's grip around her chin tightened.
Finally, like the words ringing in her mind, she said, "Forgive me."
"Forgive me." Tears ran down her cheeks. Hot. Fast. "Forgive me, please. Forgive me." Her words grew frantic and Madam Fion moved to let go of her chin, but Idalia held onto it, her realities blending. "Forgive me. FORGIVE ME, PLEASE! I'm sorry. I'M SORRY!"
Madam Fion yanked her hand away from Idalia's chin. As if that was the only support, Idalia had, she slipped to the ground.
She curled up into herself as much as the presence of Arik could allow, and she kept muttering. "Forgive me, please. I'm sorry. It was my fault. It was all my fault. Please, forgive me."
"Should I make her go through the other punishment, Ms Gwendolyn?"
"Eww, Fion. Look at her. She's already broken. It's disgusting and not fun anymore." Her heels clicked against the ground as she began to depart. "Besides, I have an event tonight…"
The voices faded away, including that of the muttering crowd as they all left one by one.
But Idalia's tears grew, as more deaths flashed in her mind. All of which she believed she was guilty of.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
The rain grew in its intensity and she shuddered yet did not make an effort to move from the open space. It was only when Arik's cries finally made it to her ears that she staggered hurriedly to her feet.
She hurried to the door as much as her trembling body could but it was locked. She banged against it a couple of times but it was soon clear to her that the doors had been locked on purpose to keep her out. The servants closing the windows when she had looked up, had made that even clearer to her.
Immediately, she began her search for shelter.
Many times she wanted to collapse but she couldn't allow her son to die in the cold. Her blood loss was starting to hit her even more. The cold made it even worse. Every part of her body ached and shuddered. Even her mind wasn't spared from the pain.
She stood by many trees and sought temporary shelter from them. But the rain was too heavy and the droplets found them nonetheless.
She had gone to the guard quarters but they didn't let her in either.
They had turned her away.
"Can I at least get an umbrella for my child?" Her teeth had clattered briefly between the questions as a result of the cold.
That terrified her even more for Arik. "A raincoat?"
But there was nothing.
Then, like a miracle, she walked into the parking lot. It was cold here but at least there was no rain. She tried to make it deeper into the parking lot but at the next step she took, her head filled with dizziness. She could almost feel the cold hand of the Grand General on her face again, the claws in her hair and his eyes that drowned her in them, along with the flood of memories she couldn't fight.
She hit the floor and this time, despite the cries of her child, the darkness took her.