The scene visible from the rooftop of the convenience store, the point of transition, had not changed; the gunfire continued between the individuals, and bullets striking the students' skin effortlessly demolished the concrete.
In the bustling main street, tanks rolled along, firing at the buildings while their engines roared loudly.
Although it was still noon, the temperature could only be described as scorching. Seeing the female students passing beneath him wearing helmets (resembling Japanese high-school gangs in uniform), Subaru sincerely thought: 「What a painful and suffocating feeling they must be experiencing.」
— That was his fleeting thought, yet the real issue was not there.
Instead, something far greater and more significant was lodged in his throat, something he could not release.
「This is definitely not the time for idiotic remarks, well,... ーー I'm certainly saying 'What?' again.」 (Subaru)
He scratched the back of his head and turned his torso to face the sun. Subaru tried to stretch his body, twisting it as he attempted to unravel the mystery occupying his mind.
If anyone had seen him in this state, they would have immediately reported him, although he was already famous on the internet... or so he presumed.
「Right, just a few hours ago... it was sunset, the sun had started to...」 (Subaru)
He directed his questions towards the sun he was facing. *Why are you so high? Did you feel the urge to ascend to a higher place for a change of scenery?*
— *Weren't you on the verge of setting just a moment ago?*
「... The sun is high.」 (Subaru)
This sensation was not entirely new to him.
— When he was first brought to this world, Subaru witnessed a beautiful moon transform into a blazing sun, so the shock was not as potent as the initial one... But, nevertheless, this feeling was entirely different from that time.
It was nausea.
「The foot injury... it is gone, and the punctures that were in my body have also healed.」 (Subaru)
This was his comment on the absence of the white bandage wrapped around his foot, made without needing to lift his sportswear.
For Subaru, that treatment, performed with pure and good intentions, had been heartwarming just to look at, but it was now gone.
The holes in his body were also gone. Bullets had penetrated him, his blood had spilled heavily onto the ground, and he was supposed to have miserably fragmented as he touched his injured internal organs.
Yet there was no trace of this on his clothes; even the plastic bag used in the treatment was intact, his clothes were not stained at all, and a mobile phone and wallet remained in his pant pockets, exactly as they were at the start, in the weakest possible configuration.
— Only now did the chill of the lost life begin to creep into his body.
「Ugh... hnh...」 (Subaru)
「What the hell happened...」 (Subaru)
Subaru recalled the sensation of the bullets tearing through his intestines, destroying his liver, puncturing his stomach, and creating another breathing hole in his lungs.
The feeling that overcame him now, instead of pain or torment, was:
— Nausea.
He felt disgusted with himself for being alive now. He felt disgusted with himself for standing on his own feet after acknowledging death.
It was repulsive that that torment, that pain, and that coldness were now just memories, while Natsuki Subaru had certainly lived through those moments.
In the moment the flame of life is extinguished, a flame that seemed as if it would last forever, 「the candle itself was not supposed to realize its own flame had been put out.」
「... My health is perfect, wonderful, I am in the best possible condition.」 (Subaru)
Yet, I remember everything.
I remember that girl's voice saying, "Save me."
「...」
「ーー That's right, the date and time...」 (Subaru)
The giant crystal screen mounted on a building in the city center reminded Subaru of the buildings in front of the Shibuya crossing.
He was supposed to check the time, and he had been relieved that the method of naming and calculating time was exactly the same as in Japan, but now he wished the opposite—that he could not read it.
「...!」
「One twenty-four PM.」 (Subaru)
Nothing had changed; it had not changed since the moment he was transferred to this world.
— Furthermore, the date next to the time matched as well.
「... At least, should I try to gather information?」 (Subaru)
There was no room for surrender yet. It would be a great disgrace for Natsuki Subaru to bow before a hallucination or an illusion that might just be a dream.
He considered this, then quickly descended from the store's roof and landed on the ground. From a height of only one meter, Subaru could skillfully execute a three-point landing.
As he fought off the nausea and glanced around, he heard a mechanical sound from behind him. Yes, it was a student who had just stepped out of the convenience store.
— The expression on the student's face, who had just exited the store, twisted into surprise.
「Sorry... I wanted to ask you something simple... ーー」 (Subaru)
「S, su...」 (Student)
「Su?」 (Subaru)
「Suspect ーー!!? It's an unarmed pervert!!??」 (Student)
「Ah! Hey! Wait!! Yes, this matter has special circumstances... *extremely* special circumstances that exceed anything you can imagine, they're deeper than the Mariana Trench!!」 (Subaru)
Subaru tried to catch up to her while speaking.
「No way! Stay away from me!!」 (Student)
「So don't scream like that, you... ーー Damn it...」 (Subaru)
— *BANG*.
「Also...」 (Subaru)
The same sensation, the same pain.
Because a person remembers an experience they once underwent as a reflex action.
Subaru remembered that sensation clearly.
「ーー?」 (Subaru)
— And so, another opening was made in Natsuki Subaru's body.
「Cough... A, ah? Ah...」 (Subaru)
「Kyah!!... But, what? Huh? Huh???」 (Student)
「You, you... ーー What are you... doing...」 (Subaru)
The bullet precisely pierced his heart; the hole it created immediately ended his life.
Loss of consciousness was quicker than usual. Unlike the first time, when he was still able to move, the "life" of Natsuki Subaru was penetrated this time.
As a warm puddle of life-liquid spread, a feeling of bitter coldness...
「...」
Natsuki Subaru's soul struggled and perished.
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「Fire! Open fire!!」
「Grenade!! Get back!!」
Familiar screams.
Familiar sunbeams.
The familiar scent of gunpowder and rising dust.
「...」
「What.」 (Subaru)
「What, for God's sake...!!」 (Subaru)
「What the hell is this!?」 (Subaru)
Subaru was shaken directly to his core, bordering on madness.
This time, it happened in a single moment, without any drama, without any process or context leading up to it.
— He had died, due to a reaction of rejection.
「That girl, that damn girl!!」 (Subaru)
「ーー Ugh gh... Oh...」 (Subaru)
The body succumbed to the heart; the fear and despair were incomparable to the first time.
Unlike the previous instance, when he managed to stand, this time he instantly knelt.
「Ugh gh... ーー Damn it...!」 (Subaru)
*He died.*
How much he wished this were a complete fantasy world, but this world, so close to Japan, was far too "realistic" for Subaru, who embodied isolation and unemployment.
How he wished there were healing magic to instantly mend wounds, or flying magic to soar through the sky, or fire magic to launch flames... ーー It did not matter if it wasn't magic; any supernatural power, unique ability, unnatural phenomenon—anything dreamlike that could negate this "reality"—would have been welcome.
— If this were a dream, an *isekai* transfer, and a super-powered duel with a cheap cheat ability, it would have been fine.
Or if he could just die more painlessly...
In any case, Natsuki Subaru was incapable of thinking about such things, as he had brushed against this world's reality too closely. The assaulting sensation of "reality" could not be shaken off, neither in the first instance nor under the shadow of the subsequent "death."
He could do nothing but writhe and flail with his convulsing body for a few minutes.
「Damn it, damn it, damn it!!」 (Subaru)
While curled up, trembling and shaking with fear, he threw a plastic bag into the air.
He convinced himself that there was no escaping looking ugly, abandoning thought to try and banish the fear from his heart.
— And as he tried to banish the fear, he stumbled once more.
「Ow! Enough! What the hell is this...」 (Subaru)
「Oh? What's wrong?」 (Voice)
「Ugh... Damn it... Ah... Listen, something just fell from above and hit my head.」 (Voice)
「From above?... From the store's roof?」 (Voice)
「Maybe. There might be someone up there.」 (Voice)
The voices of the two girls reached Subaru.
If only Natsuki Subaru had paid attention to the sound, the outcome might have been different. If he could have sorted out the situation slightly, calmed his heart, and even if he cried, if he could have shown any kind of resolve... ーー
— But that was a difficult proposition for a man avoiding reality, curled up and embodied by fear.
And next to this man avoiding reality, this embodiment of fear...
A black sphere dropped.
「... Ah?」 (Subaru)
As he stared at the last thing his eyes registered, the moisture evaporated from Natsuki Subaru's eyes.
With his body gradually disintegrating, and without having time to feel pain or torment this time...
"Natsuki Subaru" lost his form in this world.
●○●○●
「Fire! Open fire!!」
「Grenade!! Get back!!」
Once again, he heard a familiar sound.
Once again, a familiar light pierced his eyes.
Once again, the familiar scent of gunpowder and dust stomped upon his nose.
「... ーー」
「ーー Hah, ah, ah, ah, ahhhh...」 (Subaru)
「Aaaaaah!!」 (Subaru)
He began to groan in a very low voice, directing it toward his stomach.
So that no one would hear him.
So that no one would see him.
「What, ah, ugh gh... Ah...」 (Subaru)
「Ugh ghhh... I'm going to throw up!!」 (Subaru)
He cried out, staining his sportswear with tears, mucus, and vomit, coiling himself up miserably. He could do nothing but remain curled up as he collapsed.
The direct impact of the grenade, which his still-somewhat-logical mind retained, clearly replayed the immediate pre-death scene.
He had forgotten; he hadn't intended to forget, but he had forgotten until he experienced it again this way.
— That this world was not a place where he could live.
Subaru had died without any malice or enmity, simply due to a minor shift in someone's mood. The fact was that a high school student, who was outwardly no different from Subaru, had erased him from existence without a trace.
The fear that stripped the world of its colors began gnawing at his heart, accompanied by a sensation as if his internal organs had flipped over.
「Hah, hah, hah... ーー」 (Subaru)
「I died, I definitely died, I just died.」 (Subaru)
「A dream, a... it wasn't a dream... ーー I was shot and died, I was hit by an explosion...」 (Subaru)
「ーー I died.」 (Subaru)
This was the only truth laid before Natsuki Subaru.
「I died, and returned...?」 (Subaru)
He checked the clock: one twenty-four PM. There was a confusion of seconds, but the time remained exactly the same, without deviating even by a minute.
A loop? Repetition? His mind, which had read many fantasy novels, began running at full capacity, driven by terror...
「Rewinding time...」 (Subaru)
「ーー 'Return by Death,' does time rewind if I die...?」 (Subaru)
The conclusion he reached was unbelievable and fantastical.
Those words he muttered resonated with his heart more than he had anticipated.
But the words Subaru uttered after this absurd reality carried...
「Ha, haha.」 (Subaru)
「This is impossible; there's no way I can survive with this.」 (Subaru)
— His words contained a sigh that the supernatural ability granted to Natsuki Subaru was utterly insufficient for survival in this world.
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