Antarctica.
Whoa—look where you ended up! Bombaclaat!
And yet… I fully and wholeheartedly support this move. I'd even give you a hug if I could! You've chosen the ultimate settlement zone, especially considering your general gloominess and firm desire to avoid any and all radiation. This frozen continent is remote as hell and, from a geopolitical point of view, kinda safe. Best of all: there are practically no people there.
In fact, this might just be your personal utopia—living out your melancholy among the ice and echoes.
At McMurdo Station—the biggest outpost down there—you'll find around 1,000 science nerds and support staff. You could totally pretend to be either. If you're feeling more "brainy reclusive
genius," tell them you're conducting a psychological experiment on how prolonged detachment from society affects the human psyche. Someone might even throw a research grant at you! Who knows?
But before you start packing, let's bust a few myths living rent-free in your head (don't worry, I'm comfy up here, so I won't leave).
Antarctica isn't always -70°C. Seriously. Most of the time, it's not even close. The coastal areas can hit a balmy +10°C in summer!
Now, if you venture inland to the higher elevations? Yeah. That's when the -60°C horror show kicks in. Don't even think about heading there unless you're planning to reenact Han Solo's coldest cosplay from that iconic scene. Spoiler: you won't survive.
So yeah—pick a spot that aligns with your true travel goals. Research stations are perfect: just a couple dozen people max, most of whom sport the world's mightiest beards.
Bonus points if the station's near a penguin colony. Dude… even I'm getting jealous now. Those waddly little legends are adorable.
Ugh. You want too much out of life!
Okay, okay—I'll stop being grumpy and go back to being your dedicated emotional support narrator. Let me channel my inner grandma and pack your suitcase: thermal socks, fleece everything, and a pinch of my love. There. Now my boy—or girl—or non-binary nuclear hikki—is ready for the great polar escape!
Just make sure to avoid polar bears. Unlike me, they are not gentle and affectionate.