The Pyramid.
You're seriously driving me (and therefore yourself) insane at this point! And y'know what? There's some logic to your thinking—Egypt might be spared in the event of a full-scale global conflict. It's not the worst idea to seek shelter somewhere ancient, iconic, and geopolitically neutral.
But hear me out—how exactly do you plan to survive in an ancient tomb that's dark, dusty, and hotter than Satan's sauna? Sure, maybe you're into that kind of lifestyle (you've seen your own bedroom, after all), but how do you plan to stay there without getting booted?
Okay, fine. Let's say you sneak in with a tourist group and manage to hide inside one of the empty sarcophagi... Have you thought about what that'll do to the mental health of the archaeologist who finds you?
Also, it's illegal!
About as illegal as trying to stow away on a pirate ship, and don't even go there—I can already see you mentally dressing up as Captain Hook.
No. Stop. If you really want that experience, go to Somalia as a tourist, not a privateer.
Back to your original plan—honestly, it's kind of... unique. But a pyramid is insanely boring. You'll be sick of it on day one. Even if you head to Sudan and sneak into one of the lesser-guarded Nubian pyramids, it still won't fix anything.
You are not the Curse of the Pharaohs. Don't even try to claim that title.
Also, FYI: there's literally zero infrastructure around those ancient necropolises. So unless you're ready to dine on raw scorpions like some desert Gordon Ramsay, you're gonna suffer. Even if you've got a mobile Wi-Fi router and a backpack of snacks, you're still not making it through more than a weekend.
Okay, okay. I'll admit—it's slightly more viable in one of the Egyptian pyramids. You could try trading snacks with tourists.
But nope. That's it. We're closing this case before your madness infects me, too.
If you're craving exotic isolation, let's explore a different option—one that doesn't involve desecrating ancient burial sites.