Castle.
Your Majesty, allow me, your loyal vassal, to respectfully admit—this idea is freakin' brilliant!
But, being a realist (unfortunately), I gotta assume you don't have the cash to buy your own castle. Still, I get it—you'd love to live in one, preferably as far away as possible from any potential carriers of nuclear doom. So, let's pick the right kind of stronghold.
You've nailed it—two birds, one stone: hide from the threat and live in luxury! A genius-level plan, honestly. Now I must inquire—what role exactly do you imagine for yourself in that castle if you can't afford to buy it?
If you wish, you could get a job there as a tour guide, or stage some kind of theatrical reenactments for tourists. But let's be real—no way in hell you're doing that. Even the idea of interacting with a swarm of curious eyeballs sounds like a torture method straight outta medieval times.
So maybe start smaller? Try crashing at some abandoned ruins? No crowds there. Just a couple of ghost hunters wandering around looking for spooky content for their YouTube channel.
Here's my humble suggestion for scaring them off.
You'd make a fantastic Canterville Ghost. All it takes is one solid scare and boom—they're gone. Most likely for good. But hey, if those Ghost Busters do decide to come back, why not strike a deal and pose for their little documentary? Pick up a few extra bucks on the side?
You'll already be in full ghost mode anyway (I mean, your regular clothes and your standard hairstyle totally work for the role).