No!
Eriri pressed her fingertips against the bridge of her nose, forcing herself to breathe steadily.
Her heartbeat was too loud, too bright, too close.
She lowered her head, hiding her burning cheeks behind the curtain of her blonde twin-tails.
Why am I like this…?
She tried to ignore the warmth spreading through her chest, the tightness in her stomach, the sting behind her eyes.
She tried to force herself to listen to the teacher but the chalk scratching the board sounded distant and dull, as if she were underwater.
Everything felt too full.
Too much.
Too close.
And the source of it all was her mother.
The whispering had stopped.
The classroom had quieted.
But inside Eriri, the storm was only spreading.
She stared out the window instead.
The spring sunlight poured across the schoolyard, catching on fresh leaves and drifting petals.
It should have been calming.
It should have been beautiful.
But to Eriri, it only reminded her of the distance she could feel forming.
A distance she had created herself.
That day… the day her mother found that sketchbook.
Those illustrations, those feelings laid bare.
Sayuri hadn't scolded her.
She hadn't cried.
She hadn't even looked disgusted.
That was the problem.
Her mother had simply smiled. Softly. Too softly.
Like she understood.
Like she forgave something Eriri hadn't even confessed.
Ever since then… they had both acted normal.
Too normal.
But something was different.
Something invisible, delicate, breakable. Like glass. Like thin ice.
Eriri clenched her fists under the desk.
She hated it.
Not her mother.
Not her feelings.
But this distance.
This uncertainty.
I won't let it stay like this.
The bell rang.
Students hurried out of the classroom, their chatter flowing into the hallway. Eriri stood slowly, gathering her bag with movements that felt stiff and heavy.
She walked toward the clubroom on instinct—her feet knowing the path even when her thoughts were tangled.
If Mom is going to be here at school now…
If she's going to be in my space, my world…
Then I need to do something.
Say something.
Anything.
She stopped in front of the clubroom door.
Her hand hovered over the handle.
She inhaled, deep and quiet.
The scent of spring drifted in from the open corridor, fresh air, warm sunlight, a hint of chalk dust and cherry blossoms.
She exhaled.
And opened the door.
Sayuri Sawamura was inside.
Standing near the window, soft light resting warmly on her lavender hair. She turned when she heard the door, her eyes gentle, too gentle. The kind of gentle that made Eriri's chest twist.
Eriri stepped in, her voice catching before she could steady it.
"Mom…"
Sayuri tilted her head. "Yes, Eriri?"
Eriri swallowed.
The words came out before she could stop them.