The journey of life...the ride of a rollercoaster —
the ups,the downs,the sudden curves that almost throw you off balance,the few seconds before the ride ends when your heart feels the happiest it has ever felt,
and then the sickness that hits you when you step off..the dizziness,the heaviness,the urge to vomit,
just like the shittiest days of your life that come without warning and leave you shaking.
Life isn't smooth.It isn't gentle.It isn't even fair.It's a rollercoaster —and you don't get to choose the seat,you just hold on and hope the next turn doesn't break you.
the release of dopamine which keeps you active is the same thing that gives you insomnia. that's how life works — unpredictable. sometimes lovely, sometimes ugly.
sometimes it gives you chills, like how the clothes on a chair suddenly feel like a ghost watching you.
sometimes it scares you, like when a child walks into his house knowing he's about to get scolded… but he still enters anyway.
sometimes life gives you butterflies — not floating around you, dummy!! — you feel them twisting in your stomach.
that feeling…that stupid little twist in your belly…is what people call love.
the only single think Karthik was deprived of and for which he left his everything behind ..
the feeling , an unexplainable feeling , captured in such a short word ,
LOVE
It was around 10 a.m. the next day when he finally reached the station of Goa.The air was fresh—fresher than the smoke he had been inhaling for decades.
He forgot all the hardships he faced during the journey.For a moment, he felt as if he had already received the fruit of his struggle.
And he truly had.
The soil he was standing on now felt different, almost sacred.The smell of fresh kokum juice being made nearby floated through the warm breeze and wrapped around him like a welcome hug.
It was a feeling so pure, so comforting, that he knew…he would be ready—ready to face all those challenges again and again if it meant standing here, breathing this air, just one more time.
But as I've said many times before — a single feeling won't accompany you forever.It changes in a fraction of a second.
Karthik realized this when he heard the faint mumbling sound coming from his empty stomach.He took a few steps forward…and then he collapsed.
No — it wasn't the seizures from his mental disorder.This time, it was dehydration.It had been almost nine hours since he'd had even a sip of water — that too from the elderly woman on the train who had kindly shared her bottle and half of her sandwich with him.
When he opened his eyes, he was in the station infirmary, a tube of glucose attached to his hand.
The nurse who came to check on him asked softly if he had a train to catch.He shook his head — "no."
She smiled gently."You need rest. It's already 1 p.m. You can stay here for a while and leave tomorrow."She paused, then asked, "Is there someone you'd like to contact?"
Again, the same answer — a quiet nod of "no."
She left the room, rushing off because someone outside was shouting her name again and again.
But none of that mattered.Not the shouting.Not the noise.Not the pain in his body.
Karthik… froze.He felt like he had already died —because the moment she smiled at him…someone that beautiful…someone that gentle…
It didn't feel real.It wasn't possible.
That day, he fell twice —once at the station…and the second time, deeply, helplessly…in her love.