The world felt heavy, as if it were on a canvas densely loaded with paint, layer upon layer. It could be described as a nervous system overload, just a bit strong; for that reason, my brain felt more lethargic than normal.
I saw everything that happened while my body was captured by invented personalities in my own mind; it was quite pathetic.
The question was whether they were invented.
As if I hadn't already suffered and slept through a great lethargy, I pass out again from lack of mental strength.
{It's because you're weak, Heiss. I warned you during our training time}
'Are you... #14, Aemilia?'
{Don't you recognize your little sister? I should have taken more opportunities and hit you harder when I could}
A soft pouting sound spread through what seemed to be a room.
The subspace where I was was probably a remnant of my unconsciousness, something like a dream, or so I believed. The place was dark, and there wasn't a determined configuration to my location; I didn't know what was up or down, whether I was upside down or if I even had a physical representation; I only saw two shadows, one my silhouette, the other the one that in theory was speaking to me at this moment.
Not understanding the space around me was because it deformed as I observed it, a curious and dizzying spectacle; at the same time, we navigated in that space without physical laws.
Understanding the place a little and calming myself, knowing I was unconscious, I decided to listen to her, not only because there was nothing I could do to wake myself up, but because what Aemilia had to tell me actually gave me greater unease.
There were many reasons; one was because I considered her my sister within the district. Yes, I had a brother I grew attached to at first when we were in trouble from the selections the MASTERS carried out, so Aemilia would be the little sister who attached herself to me when I had no direction and those who accompanied her died.
'Don't misunderstand me, it's just that you're the third or fourth who talks least among all the codices'
{Well, that's because it seems like we're in a Hindu marketplace, where everyone talks about whatever they want without paying attention to the other shoppers. I don't blame them, obviously; we're all already dead}
Quite inspiring.
'...So? What did you bring me to this place for? Where are the others?'
{To be a part of your head, you're not very skilled at managing it; that's exactly why you ended up mentally imprisoned by that witch Athena}
'Ha, could you have escaped from that situation?'
I mocked, knowing I didn't find a way to regain control.
I analyzed how I was locked in that mental prison; it's not as if there was a logical reason I would have let myself get caught; the real question was how I actually ended up imprisoned in my own mind without being able to move.
With graceful movements she reclined on what seemed to be an abstract shape behind her, as if space were coupling to what she wanted.
{Of course, it wouldn't have been difficult; in fact, Freya and the others didn't help you because of the consequences of a mental overload. You started bleeding because you resisted; do you know you could have had a hemorrhage if you had completely escaped the prison?}
'....'
What she mentioned was true; in cases of very high tension, the brain couldn't withstand the tension nor the electrical discharges, the massive release of neurohormones, and above all, the muscular pressure that made too much blood circulate for the part above the neck to withstand, causing bleeding in specific places like the nose, ears, and eyes through which to escape.
The rush to regain control at that moment made my body tremble from the internal and explosive struggle; only when I stopped struggling did my body stabilize.
The shadow in front of me lowered its shoulders in resignation upon realizing I only thought about this at this point and not before.
{It's truly a problem that we can't share memories fluidly; if your head were bigger, maybe we could throw a party inside your mind, hahahaha}
The one who was supposed to be my younger sister mocked me right to my face, specter, shadow, idea, or whatever it was that represented me at this moment.
'You sound happier... That comforts me'
It could be a bit of sarcasm; however, I truly was glad she was better.
I hadn't heard her since I was in that room, tortured by Alexander.
That time she asked me if it hurt so much to let it go; after my response, she was euphoric for a moment; then I simply didn't hear her anymore.
{Don't get sentimental, dummy; you know we're just remnant memories recorded in your brain}
She wasn't wrong, not entirely, although her self-deprecating words reflected a condition of lowering herself before what those personalities truly were. It made me want to shout at her for a moment.
Responding, trying to show her it wasn't right.
'... If it's truly like that, then it means you're just a representation of my consciousness with the codices' memories. Why should I listen to you in the first place? Unless you stop saying nonsense and accept that the experiment worked and that their minds were kept safe in mine'
I think I got a bit worked up.
{Oh, if that's so, then why didn't any of us, the real ones, have any of us grafted into our minds?}
'That....'
{See, we're just remnant echoes}
I still wasn't satisfied, although she had a point.
'You know I know you all know about the void and my emotional overflow; the MASTER was the one who confirmed my void talent, not counting my blood heir ability, which I still don't know about. There are many possible explanations; above all, you all have your own consciousness; you can't deny that'
{Wow! A tongue twister, hahaha, is that your way of responding to an existential debate, Heiss? Our brothers taught you better, little brother.....but I must accept you have a point. Not even the other codices understand how we function in your brain, or at least we don't know how we operate independently from you, if we're not the same existence}
At this point, although the chat could be useful to know why I had been having them as personalities, I had to change the focus.
It was very likely this space was only accessible to the two of us, which resulted in help so it wouldn't become a debate or questioning from the other codices.
'Enough, let's leave the stupid chatter. You're not the one who acts without reason. Tell me, with what objective did you bring me here?'
Far from receiving the answer I expected, she continued.
{Stupid chatter? Don't be offended; couldn't you escape for a particular reason? Think about it; it's more serious than you believe}
Because she kept with the same thing, it wasn't something that made much sense. Yes, I was imprisoned by a personality, but so what? It's not as if anything bad had.....
'!!!'
At that moment, I think I had grasped it.
{From the disturbance in your silhouette, I notice you realized}
'.... That doesn't make sense; it's my body'
{Oh! Is it?}
It was impossible; even if their minds were in me because of that incident, this should be my body; they shouldn't have power....
{What differentiates you from us, the other personalities? You're a conscious being in our mind, not in your mind. It's as you said; we're not merely remnant beings in this vessel; if you're not careful, it could be taken from you}
If what she said was true, then my future actions were at risk; I could end up doing something I don't want or even hurting some of the people who are placing their trust in me.
'I don't understand... because..'
{Why would we do this? Don't lump me in the same bag; it's something repugnant if you ask me, but codices like Athena or even your own brother, our older brother, wouldn't let it pass}
Unexpectedly, I heard the mention of someone familiar.
'Our older brother!? Why do you mention him suddenly!?'
The only existence that helped me in that dark place. The purest person, most concerned for others, even if it sounded like a complete believer of some church with inestimable faith and proclaimers of the faith; this was the person with such a large, elaborate, and focused thought that geniuses in the humanities field looked like beginners.
There was no one as concerned for others' integrity as my brother.
Apart from the codices themselves and some horrors that shouldn't exist, very few could have a discussion at his level.
So why did Aemilia mention him? He would be incapable of doing something against me.
Without a shred of emotion in her words, as if mentioning a crude truth, Aemilia didn't let me have such hunches.
{Our brother..... is the person with the greatest commitment on the entire earth, but at the same time the most radical. If the world is in danger, if millions of lives are, and you're not capable of acting according to priority, then he could do it}
{If you were in a mental prison by Athena, it wouldn't be very different that any of us could achieve it; she's a specialist; still, that doesn't mean we can't do the same. For example, me with this temporal space}
{And do you know why?}
'....'
I didn't answer because I simply didn't know the answer.
{It's because we don't differentiate between a personality and a real being}
Her words hit hard; however, it was the same thing she had already mentioned.
'I already know; you said if I wasn't careful, they could take it from me...'
Instead of following the same thread, she didn't agree.
{That's not it. Heiss.....you....}
I felt strange; something felt wrong.
'What is it? Say it!'
I shouted so loud the echo propagated and bounced throughout the entire vast space.
With a not-so-relaxed attitude, she sat up straight, stopped crossing her legs, and what seemed to be her face looked at me fixedly.
{.... When I say we don't see you as different from one of us, it's literal.... If I had to be specific, we even believe you're broken. You're no different from a personality, one perhaps very damaged}
'....Me?
{The you of now is fractured, close to becoming a remnant personality or worse.... an echo}
Her words sounded in the space, which, although it was my own mind, distributed like waves in a thick liquid. It wasn't hard to digest, just very slow to grasp... very slow... slow.
Suddenly, the space around us started to shake, tremble violently, making the ripples that moved constantly brake, decelerating.
And in a corner that shouldn't have formed, cracks appeared that extended through the shapeless space.
{!!, Time's up! Be careful with the choices you make, Heiss; focus on stopping the districts and don't do something stupid}
'Wait! We can talk when I wake up'
However, her answer was blunt.
{No. Maybe you don't know, Heiss, but we can also become corrupted, even you; just like when someone learns about blood heirs and the secrets left by the heavens, we can become corrupted. That's why we've been selective in helping you, except for a certain one in particular; until we know how to face it, you shouldn't communicate so much with us and only access our memories in a limited way, so.... the void you use....be careful}
The void? What is she referring to? It's just an innate ability...
But I couldn't ask her because my avatar started to crack apart everywhere and spread out; I could only hear one last word.
{We're with you....}
***
A soft orange light illuminated when I opened my eyes; I was....
Where was I?
My body swayed from side to side, and the view of the ceiling distorted with each movement. For some reason I felt like vomiting, almost the same as when I drank alcohol with Lucius in that dive bar.
When I managed to put my hand on the edge, I realized I was lying down; it was a hammock set up in one of the rooms.
Beside him was Jesús, who pushed his foot against the top of the hammock while he was relaxed lying on a table playing cards with Lucius, Marcus, and Alexander.
I felt weak. Trying with what strength I had not to throw up, I put my foot on the ground to stop the swaying.
I fixed my gaze on Jesús.
"Do you think I'm a baby to be rocked?"
Everyone stopped looking at their cards and turned toward what had been a very quiet hammock a moment ago.
"Hik!"
Jesús, realizing it, pulled his foot away at a speed so fast it was as if he felt he was about to have it amputated.
Then he knelt down and buried his head on the ground.
"I... I'm sorry, I thought it would help you sleep better"
Apologizing was his only way out.
Thinking about it, that could be one of the reasons why in that dream I moved at such a disconcerting speed. The dizziness only made me want to beat him to the grave.
But I couldn't because suddenly I realized something. The voices in my head.... They weren't there.
Heiss's disconcerted attitude didn't go unnoticed by his subordinates.
"Is something wrong, sir?"
The silence to his question made the room tense, as if they were alert for a new crazy attitude from Heiss.
At the same time, accelerated thoughts passed through the thin, pale boy's mind.
'I don't hear them.... but I feel them; maybe, as Aemilia said, they're making sure not to engage in conversations unless necessary, or maybe it's like Athena, that they won't communicate until my subordinates and Kalika's are ready'
'On the other hand, if things are like this, I don't understand why there was always a personality helping me since we left the drug traffickers' base, or even before....'
An idea formed in my head.
'It was always a single personality; it could change, but always one interacted. However, when the escape from the drug traffickers' base started, their encounters and conversations increased; even in the meeting with Kalika and the others, two were present at the same time'
'Aemilia also mentioned being careful with the void; that's a mental state that helps with consciousness and much more. Could it be hiding something more? How do I get infected and the personalities with corruption?'
No matter how much I thought, there were things that didn't make sense.
But one thing was clear. The void was an ability I hadn't explored in depth, not even the entire surface, and my personalities were feeling the effects somehow.
The question was: how to communicate with them? Did I risk contaminating them? Yes, the void was an innate ability; how was it supposed to be deactivated?
I had no idea how; that's precisely why they were trying to limit interaction to only one personality at a time, and in my mind, it was likely they were experimenting by talking to me to check on their states.
In short, they had lied to me, keeping everything to themselves. As they always had.
I clenched my fists and turned my gaze back to the guys.
"Tell me what time it is"
Seeing him already reacting, he stopped hesitating and looked at the watch nervously.
"9pm"
"It's not that late, and I suppose you all are nervous; we must do it now; it's no longer possible to delay the wait. Tell Kalika I'd like to meet with everyone"