Author's Note:
This is a non-canon extra chapter written purely for fun.
Expect chaos, exaggeration, futuristic nonsense, and zero logic.
Read responsibly !!!
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Epilogue
"How exactly did you get us in trouble with the mafia !!!!!"
"I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!" (Wrong gamble)
"Now you gambled me away toooooo"
"I KNOW!!!!!!!!!"
"STOP CRYING AND FIGURE OUT EXACTLY HOW WE'RE GONNA FIX THIS !!!!!"
---
AIM: The Extra Files… (Gamblepunk)
"Hahahahaha, bloody bastard just lost his Mercedes Hover Max to me," he said with a chaotic grin and laugh, striking a ridiculous pause with his fingers pointed forward toward his opponent.
His opponent, who ridiculously lost their gamble match, losing a tiny fraction of what he held so dear—"my Mercedes"—said with tears in his eyes.
"Hahahaha!" laughed Bottle as he flexed around with the keys, skipping up and down as he made his way to the exit, leaving dust behind his tracks .
"I can't believe he just made you eat his dust," said the gambler, Mr. Don's secretary
"I know, I've brought shame and honor upon my family," he said dramatically, letting out a tear as a light suddenly appeared and focused on his face.
"Didn't you already bring shame to your family by gambling in the first place?" his secretary said, but he paid no attention.
---
Meanwhile, Bottle was outside the large golden casino, neon lights flashing around the scape.
"Yess hhhhhhhhuuuuuuuhhh, I got myself a new ride… hahahaha," he said to himself, flexing the keys.
"Using these glasses sure did come in handy. I can cheat and people won't even notice I did… they'll just think I'm some nerd with poor eyesight who loves to gamble…"
He twirled dramatically.
"Meanwhile he's only using AI!!!! Hahahahahahahaha," he chaotically laughed to himself.
"Ahhh, with these glasses, I wonder where exactly—or what exactly—I can get myself."
"You can start by first getting me a drink, that's for sure," said Mr. Banda as he suddenly appeared from behind.
"Ahh, skyscraper Professor Banda," Bottle said.
"It's Sky Efficient Intelligence Genius Professor Banda," Banda said in annoyance and correction.
"How exactly am I supposed to remember that?" Bottle said.
"Use your glasses," Banda said.
"I don't think they work that way," Bottle said, touching his glasses.
"They seriously call out the name of the person who made them every time they turn on," Banda yelled.
"Really? Ohhh, you don't say. Wait, isn't that a little too narcissistic?" Bottle said.
"In what way?" Banda asked.
"True artists aren't supposed to give themselves credit for their work," Bottle said.
"Whoever went and gave you that idea?" Banda yelled.
"My mother," Bottle said casually, rolling his eyes.
"How dare you disrespect your own mother!!!!!!" Banda gave him a hard smack to the face.
"Why do you care? She's my mother!!!!!" Bottle said.
"And you're her son!!!!! Who do you think would've taken great care of my sister if you weren't even born—or raised right?" Banda yelled.
"You do realize you're talking to a professional gambler, right?" Bottle said.
"Well at least it's better than nothing!!" Banda dramatically waved his hands in the air.
"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh… okay forget that. Now how about that drink," Bottle said.
"Ohhhhh, don't flatter me please," Banda said.
---
Later… Bottle and Banda went to every club in Lusaka City, drinking two different drinks from each club and getting drunk along the way. This eventually led to unnecessary fights and unrealistic gambling, until morning dawned and both of them realized—
"I forgot to go home to take care of your sister," Bottle said, getting up from the floor of a messy hotel.
"Don't you mean your wife?" Banda said, completely drowsy to the bone, his eyes so red you'd seriously compare them to round cherry tomatoes.
"Look at you, your eyes are a mess," Bottle said.
"Look who's talking. Ahhh, my head!!!!!" Banda yelled.
"I feel so sick… it feels like I have malaria," Banda said, shivering.
"Don't be unnecessarily dramatic," Bottle said, pointing a finger.
"Stop pointing that finger at me!!!!" Banda yelled.
---
Their quarrel was interrupted by a phone call from an unknown number.
(BZZZZZ ZA ZA ZA)
The phone vibrated on the messy floor.
"Who's this?" Bottle said as he picked it up. "Hello??"
"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING TO PUT ME ON YOUR GAMBLE LAST NIGHT!" yelled Chipo, Banda's sister. The intensity of her voice sent shockwaves straight into both Bottle and Banda's ears.
"Sound, sound, anything but loud sound," Banda said as he immediately closed his ears, his face banging the floor.
"What are you talking about? I don't remember," Bottle said.
"Oh no…"
(Flashback: Banda completely drunk, writing something on paper at the bar table.)
"I'm placing this beautiful lady over here… Dealllll!!!!!"
"How could I commit such badness a great sin against—" Bottle said to himself, completely shocked to his core.
"Where are you right now?" he asked.
"Well," she said—
(BYOOOOOMMM BYOOOM BYOOOOMMMMMMM)
She blasted nearly all the mafia men away while standing on the edge of a skyscraper.
"This woman—where in the world did she get a weapon?" one of the mafia said.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she blasted him away.
The call cut immediately.
"Honey, honey, HONEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Bottle yelled.
"What have I done? I gambled my own wife! I gambled my own—"
"I'm sorry, you said you what?" Banda said, staring down at Bottle like a giant, red-eyed sky grim reaper who forgot he had a hangover.
"Forget that now, we have to save her!" Bottle yelled.
(Pa!) Banda slapped him.
"What was that forrr?" Bottle yelled.
"I knew you weren't a good influence. Now we have to deal with this . Crap, I should've known your bride price money was acquired through a gamble," Banda said, tears in his eyes.
"I think you clearly knew that but just ignored it," Bottle yelled.
"Silence!!! We've got to save my sister!!!!!" Banda yelled.
"Where do you think we're gonna find her though?" Bottle asked.
"Hmmmmmmmmmm," Banda said, banging his head while thinking.
"Aren't you supposed to be some genius scientist?" Bottle yelled.
"That's only gonna happen four years from now," Banda said, gonging Bottle on the head.
"Why do you like hitting me soooo much?" Bottle yelled.
"I just like toooooo," Banda replied.
---
Meanwhile, on top of Sun Share Skyscraper, just opposite East Park Mall—
"Huuuh," taking a few deep breaths, Chipo knelt down to her knees out of exhaustion.
"Crap… my crappy husband just had to gamble me. Just great," she said, frustrated, gritting her teeth.
"Such a shame, isn't it," said a tall Dutch man in a coat. Behind him stood an entire gang of android and cyborg mafia.
"Ohhh, who are you?" Chipo asked.
"I'm the man who won you during last night's gamble with your husband," he said calmly, his voice deep.
"Talk about dramatic entry," she said.
"Huuh???" the man responded.
"I mean seriously," she said, standing—revealing the fact that she's actually taller than the man.
"Huh?" the man muttered.
"Huh," echoed the cyborgs and androids.
"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh hahahahahahaha, you're sooo short!" she yelled, laughing.
"Noooo, you're just tall," the cyborgs said.
"And the boss is seriously 6'4.5 on average."
"Shut upppp," he yelled.
"What a gamble—a tall woman for a tall man," he said.
"More like an extra-tall woman to a tall man," murmured the cyborgs.
"Yeah, not happening buddy," Chipo said.
"I know my husband likely does so much stupid crap that even I can't stand from time to time, but still, I love him regardless."
She immediately noticed the tears in the man's eyes.
"Why are you crying?" she asked.
"Nothing, I'm just touched."
"Seriously!!!!!!!!"
"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh… anyway, I'm afraid a gamble is still a gamble… but regardless, I'll try to let things slide for now," he said calmly.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said.
"There's just something about young love that moves me, you know."
(BOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM)
A blaster suddenly blew him and his cyborg mafia away.
"What the hell!" Chipo said, mouth agape.
"What just happened?"
She turned back to see Banda and Bottle on top of East Park Mall, holding a giant blaster pulled from a car boot.
"Honey, honey, we saved youuuu, we saved youuuu," Bottle yelled, crying.
"You saved whooooooooooooooooo?!" Chipo yelled, immediately imitating an aura like a Super Saiyan.
She jumped from Sun Share Building to East Park Mall's rooftop, kicking Bottle down onto the mall floor. Banda had already run away.
---
"How exactly did you get us in trouble with the mafia !!!!!"
"I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!" (Wrong gamble)
"Now you gambled me away toooooo"
"I KNOW!!!!!!!!!"
"STOP CRYING AND FIGURE OUT EXACTLY HOW WE'RE GONNA FIX THIS !!!!!"
"I don't know!!!!!!" Bottle yelled.
"Stop screaming and crying in front of everybody, you're embarrassing us," she said.
"Ugh, Bottle, you can be such an idiot sometimes, you know. You're just annoying."
Silence swept the area.
Bottle looked at her face, touched by her expression—the expression of a woman who constantly complained about her husband every day.
"I'm sorry… I'm a terrible husband," Bottle said.
"THAT'S HER HUSBAND!!!!! SHE'S OVER 7 FEET TALL!!!! HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE?!" said a random man who happened to be passing by and stopped to listen to the drama (pretty common in Zambia 😂😂).
"Errr, don't you have anywhere to go?" Chipo said, intimidating the man until he walked away.
"Bottle… come here," Chipo said, helping him up.
" You forgive me??" Bottle Asked
" Let's just go " as she helped stand up .
---
Later, outside the mall—
Banda was completely knocked out cold, sleeping in Bottle's car.
"Mama," he whispered while asleep (snoring).
"WHAT KINDA SNORING IS THAT!!!!" yelled a man who had parked his car opposite Bottle's.
"Let's get out of here—the children," said his wife as they drove off.
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To be continued… maybe.