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Chapter 375 – "A Mind Only a Licking Dog Would Understand"
"What did you go out for?"
Darren had been mentally prepared for Snape to interrogate him about the parchment, or demand that he explain its origin.
Instead, that was the first question Snape asked.
…That's it?
Darren was momentarily stunned.
Seeing his confusion, Snape snorted coldly.
"If I didn't ask, would you ever tell me yourself?"
Darren hurriedly straightened up and answered, awkwardly,
"I, um… I just went shopping."
"What did you buy?" Snape pressed.
Darren reached into his pocket and pulled out a few wrapped candies and a quill.
The quill was a self-writing quill—something he had bought specifically to deal with detentions and endless copying of school rules in the future. He nearly laughed at the thought, but restrained himself and smiled politely instead.
Snape glanced at the items.
Then his expression darkened.
"That's all?"
Darren nodded.
What else was there supposed to be?
He wasn't one of those students who went wild with money at Hogsmeade.
As for candy… his dormitory was already overflowing. He had only bought a few new kinds out of curiosity.
Yet after he nodded, Snape's gaze turned strange.
A trace of guilt… perhaps even frustration… flickered across his face.
He hesitated several times, as though about to say something.
Finally, he pulled a pouch out from his drawer and tossed it onto the table.
"Take it."
"I won't have Slytherin looking like it's raising beggars."
…?
Darren blinked.
Ah.
So that's what it was.
Snape thought he was poor.
Very poor.
Poor enough that he only bought a handful of candy.
Darren suddenly remembered that his Christmas gift from Snape had been a bag of gold galleons—quite a large one at that.
So this was what it had been about all along.
Snape must have truly believed he had donated himself into poverty.
Darren coughed lightly and explained in a gentle voice,
"Professor, you misunderstood. I know you're worried I donated all my money and left myself with nothing."
"But actually, I still have a lot of gold galleons… including the ones you gave me, and the gifts from classmates before. I really don't lack money."
[Ding, Father Value +70]
Snape gave a short, dry laugh.
"Oh? In that case—let's see it."
"Let me see how 'not poor' you really are."
Darren froze.
He opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
What was he supposed to show?
Three hundred thousand galleons?
Rozier's fifty thousand?
Nicolas Flamel's Philosopher's Stone?
If he took even one of those out, his identity would completely collapse.
Snape might not scold him for hiding money—
He would start questioning the source.
Finally, after a long silence, Darren lowered his head and muttered,
"...There's also a teacher who once gave me a prototype Philosopher's Stone. It can turn things into gold."
[Ding, Father Value +100]
Instead of being impressed, Snape snorted.
"Oh? And you used it?"
"You turned it into gold?"
His stare burrowed into Darren's scalp.
Darren wanted to dig a hole and vanish.
Snape sighed deeply.
He leaned back into his chair, rubbing his temples.
"So you had the means… but still donated almost everything away."
"Do you ever think about what you'll live on?"
His expression was complicated—irritation mixed with helpless worry.
This child…
Kind to the point of foolishness.
Snape stared at Darren for a long time.
Then waved his hand tiredly.
"Take the pouch and leave."
"And from now on—"
"Any time you go out, you report to me."
Darren blinked.
…Report?
Snape turned away, his voice quieter now.
"I still have plenty of galleons left."
"If I don't give them to you, who would I give them to?"
A moment later, Snape's expression shifted slightly.
His lips curved with faint, inexplicable satisfaction.
He muttered to himself in a low voice,
"Even if Lupin is your godfather… so what?"
"He still can't protect you like I can."
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Darren left Snape's office burdened with gifts.
When he opened the pouch, there were:
Gold galleons
Several tailored Slytherin robes
Cakes and pastries
A ridiculous amount of sweets
…Good grief.
The image of Snape scowling in a shop while picking pastries was so cursed that Darren nearly laughed out loud.
Then he saw Harry and Ron waiting at the corridor's end.
"You finally came out!" Ron exclaimed.
"That old bat—uh, Professor Snape—did he make things hard for you?"
They inspected Darren from head to toe as though he'd been tortured.
Darren sighed helplessly.
"Professor Snape is very kind. He even worried I hadn't eaten properly."
"He bought me robes and cake."
[Ding, Father Value +15]
[Ding, Father Value +10]
…Absolute failure.
Neither Harry nor Ron looked moved.
They looked horrified.
Harry's face darkened.
"There's no way that's safe!"
"I'm taking it all to Professor McGonagall."
"He might've done something to it!"
"Poisoned cake! Cursed robes! Unknown enchantments!"
Darren rubbed his temples.
"Brother… you just don't trust him…"
Finally, he gave in.
"Fine. Take it for testing. But if there's nothing wrong—"
"You have to apologize to Professor Snape."
[Ding, Father Value +100]
[Ding, Father Value +100 (small bonus)]
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