So apparently, the mysterious presence calling me from the forest wasn't destiny. It wasn't fate. It was not even danger.
It was... a frying pan.
Yup. A literal, cast-iron, full of itself frying pan.
The moment we "met," it started talking — no, lecturing — through telepathy.
"Ah, another awakened utensil. You must kneel before me, for I am—"
"—a cooking appliance," I interrupted.
"SILENCE! I am Pantharion the Eternal Skillet! Slayer of Eggs! Conqueror of Stew! Bringer of Crispy Texture!"
I swear, if I had eyes, I would have rolled them so hard I would have sliced the fabric of space.
"Look, Mr. Pancake Slayer," I said, "I am just a reincarnated knife trying to get through my existential cutlery crisis. So maybe do not go full Shakespeare on me right now?"
Pantharion gasped like I'd insulted his ancestors.
"You… mock me?!"
"Yes."
"Unbelievable! I am revered among goblin chefs and feared among— wait, are you laughing?"
"Not laughing," I said, "just trying not to rust from secondhand embarrassment."
We argued for what felt like an eternity (about 12 minutes).Eventually, we realized we both had "system" voices guiding us, which meant… we were both reincarnated humans.
"Oh great," I muttered. "I'm stuck in an Isekai Support Group for Kitchenware."
Pantharion sighed dramatically.
"At least we can share our pain."
"Pain?" I said. "Buddy, you're a frying pan. You literally enjoy heat."
"That's different! Emotional heat burns deeper!"
Okay, this guy needed therapy. Or a dish rack.
Still, we got to talking. Apparently, Pantharion used to be a food blogger in his past life.He died testing a "super spicy inferno ramen challenge."
"Wait," I said, "so you also died because of food?"
"Yes."
"…Oh my God, we're both idiots."
"Culinary martyrs, my bladed friend."
After the emotional bonding over our shared deaths-by-noodles, Pantharion explained the call I'd felt.Apparently, sentient utensils are drawn together by "Cookware Resonance" — some kind of spiritual magnetism for cursed kitchenware.
"So what happens when utensils resonate?" I asked.
"They form a set," he said dramatically.
"A set? Like— what, a matching kitchen set?"
"Exactly. Together, we can combine skills!"
My internal system pinged:
[New Combo Skill Unlocked: 'Dual Kitchen Combo']
Ability: If a knife and pan are used together, food gains +10 Deliciousness. Battle power unknown.
"Oh perfect," I sighed. "I've officially become part of a cooking buff."
But then things got really weird.Pantharion started glowing—like, disco-ball bright—and I could feel some kind of energy connecting us.
[Resonance Level 1 achieved]
You may now sense each other's emotions.
Oh joy.Now I can feel a frying pan's emotions.
"Do you sense my sizzle of pride?"
"I sense your lack of shame."
Still… as ridiculous as it sounds, for the first time since I got reincarnated, I wasn't alone.
Sure, my best friend is an overly dramatic skillet with delusions of grandeur,but at least we're both equally unhinged.
Maybe this world isn't so bad.
Maybe, just maybe, if we keep sharpening and sizzling, we'll become legends.
The Legendary Culinary Duo.Knife & Pan.
…Okay, no, that sounds dumb.
But hey—every legend has to start somewhere.
Even in a kitchen.
-------------
If someone told me that one day I'd be fighting for my life in a goblin cooking contest, I'd have told them to stop watching anime and touch grass.
But here I am. A reincarnated knife. Partnered with a frying pan who thinks he's the protagonist of a culinary shonen.
It all started when Pantharion overheard two goblins arguing near the campfire.
"Chief say best cook become new head chef!""No, me best cook! My stew no kill anyone this week!"
Pantharion's handle practically vibrated with excitement.
"A cooking competition?! At last, a stage worthy of my greatness!"
"Oh, great," I muttered. "Another opportunity to humiliate myself in front of creatures who think seasoning is optional."
But he didn't listen. He just rolled himself toward the goblins, shouting,
"I, Pantharion the Eternal Skillet, challenge thee!"
And then, because fate hates me, they grabbed me too.
"Knife shiny! Use knife too!"
And that's how I became part of Team Goblin Gourmet.
The "arena" was literally a muddy patch of ground with three tree stumps for tables.Spectators? About fifteen goblins, two wolves, and one confused slime.Judges? The goblin chief and his wife, who already looked mildly traumatized by the smell of raw meat.
"Pantharion," I whispered through our utensil telepathy, "we could die here."
"Nonsense, Pointy. We'll ascend to culinary glory!"
"Dude, they're boiling tree bark. Glory's been dead for hours."
The battle began.Each goblin team rushed to cook something "delicious."The air filled with smoke, shouting, and the smell of regret.
My wielder — let's call him Gork — grabbed me and started chopping ingredients.Which, to be honest, was the closest I'd come to feeling alive.Each slice was clean, each cut precise.
[Skill Activated: "Professional Precision Lv.1"]Food prep speed increased by 25%!
Nice. I was basically a Gordon Ramsay sidekick now.
Meanwhile, Pantharion was practically singing.
"Sear! Sizzle! Sing, my delicious symphony!"
He was having way too much fun.But I'll admit… the food actually started smelling good.Like… really good.
[Skill Combo: Knife + Pan Resonance Achieved!]Food Quality +20%! Presentation +10! Ego +999!
The other goblins noticed and started panicking.One threw dirt in our direction (which technically counts as sabotage).Another tried to steal our mushrooms.
[Alert: "Mushroom Theft Attempt Detected!"]
"Oh, not today, fungus fiend," I muttered, and somehow, do not ask me how, I moved.
For the first time ever, my blade twitched on its own.
[New Skill Unlocked: Minor Telekinesis Lv.1]
Allows small wiggly movements fueled by pure rage.
I stabbed the thief's hand. Lightly. Just enough to make him reconsider his life choices.
"Knife bite!" he yelped."Yeah," I thought, "and it'll bite harder next time, mushroom boy."
Finally, the cooking ended.Three dishes. Three disasters waiting to happen.
Team 1 presented "Goblin Stew Deluxe." Translation: brown mush.Team 2 offered "Roasted Root of Mystery." Translation: crunchy dirt.And us?
We had "Forest Stir-Fry of Destiny."
The chief sniffed it suspiciously.His wife poked it with a stick.Then they tasted it.
Silence.
Then—
"...This edible."
The goblins cheered.Pantharion screamed.I internally facepalmed.
We'd done it. We'd won the Great Goblin Cooking Battle.
[System Notice]
Congratulations! You have gained the title: "Kitchen Champion (Beginner)."Bonus Skill: "Food Buff Aura" — nearby creatures regain 5% stamina when eating food cooked with you.
I am officially… a healing item.Fantastic.
Later that night, as goblins partied and I reflected under the moonlight, Pantharion hummed beside me.
"We did well today, Knife."
"Yeah," I said. "We turned incompetence into victory."
"Do you think we'll ever be used by humans?"
"Maybe. When pigs fly and goblins invent table manners."
We both laughed (well, he sizzled, I clinked).And for the first time, being a piece of cutlery didn't feel so bad.
To Be Continued…