So apparently…
we're gods now.
That escalated faster than a microwave burrito.
Word of "The Culinary Duo's Divine Banquet" spread across kingdoms.By the end of the week, someone — we still don't know who — built a temple.
To us.
A temple.
For a knife and a frying pan.
The adventurer read the news from a guild bulletin.
"Pilgrims flock to worship the Sacred Utensils of Garmont House — holy embodiments of fire and edge."
Pantharion nearly fainted from joy.
"Holy embodiments! I told you I was destined for greatness!"
I muttered,
"Congratulations, you're officially a kitchen appliance with a religion."
"Blasphemy!" he shouted, glowing dramatically."Believe, Pointy! Believe in the power of faith-based fame!"
Yeah, sure. I'll believe when someone builds me a shrine made of dish soap.
Arrival at the Temple
We arrived three days later.And… oh, sweet stainless steel —
It was huge.
Marble pillars carved like spatulas.Murals of us "defeating evil vegetables."An enormous statue of Pantharion mid-sizzle, surrounded by golden onions.
And me?I had a statue too.Stuck heroically into a stone loaf of bread.
Underneath, a plaque read:
"The Divine Edge that Sliced Mortality Itself."
I'm not sure whether to feel honored or deeply confused.
Priests in aprons greeted us with solemn reverence.
"Welcome, Holy Instruments! We have awaited your return!"
I whispered to the adventurer, "Return? I didn't even know we left."
He whispered back,
"Just… nod and smile."
The High Priest approached — a tall man wearing a chef's hat shaped like a crown.
"O Great Pantharion and Blade of Truth! We humbly seek your blessings for the Grand Feast of Faith."
Pantharion was loving it.
"Blessings you shall have, my faithful sauté disciples!"
"...sauté disciples?" I said.
"Silence, Pointy. Let me have this."
The ceremony began.
Hundreds of followers gathered, kneeling before our altar.Chanting filled the hall:
"O Holy Pan of Flames! O Sacred Edge of Clarity! Grant us eternal flavor!"
Someone carried a basket of offerings — carrots, potatoes, and an emotional cabbage.
Pantharion whispered to me,
"I think they're… sacrificing vegetables in our honor."
"You mean dinner?"
"Holy dinner."
Then came the weird part. The priests began sprinkling broth around like holy water.A gong rang (made of a pot lid).And suddenly—
[System Notice!]
Faith Energy Detected.Processing collective belief…New Skill Unlocked: "Divine Aura of Deliciousness."
Wait.
What.
I shimmered.Pantharion sizzled with divine flame.The crowd gasped as steam shaped like a smiling face rose into the air.
The High Priest screamed,
"The utensils have awakened! Praise be to the Culinary Deities!"
The entire temple burst into applause and happy tears.
I whispered, "Pan… we're literally powered by their delusion."
"Correction — by their faith!"
"Same thing."
After the ceremony, we were offered a private chamber — lined with fine cloth, silver polish, and a giant shrine built just for us.
Pantharion looked at me with the most smug expression possible for cookware.
"We've done it, Pointy. We've achieved divinity."
I sighed.
"You realize this all started because you set a table on fire, right?"
"And yet here we are—saints of seasoning."
"That's… actually kind of poetic."
"I know. I'm holy and deep."
Later that night, as the temple lights dimmed, the adventurer whispered,
"You guys ever think this might get… out of hand?"
Pantharion chuckled.
"Nonsense. What could possibly go wrong?"
Cue divine lightning.
Outside, the High Priest announced the next day's plan:
"Tomorrow, we shall perform the Miracle of Eternal Stew!"
Oh no.Oh yes.This wasn't ending anytime soon.
[New Title Acquired!]
"Deities of Culinary Chaos" — Faith regenerates health and increases absurdity levels permanently.
And somewhere in another kingdom, a rival church began plotting.The Church of the Sacred Spatula had declared war.
To Be Continued…