SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT
Darkness swallowed my vision. My metal body vibrated like a tuning fork dipped in chaos.
Suddenly—a blinding light slammed across my consciousness.
[SYSTEM WARNING!]
Maximum Threshold Reached. Activating Divine Weapon Title: "Apex of the Cutting Path."
Emergency Protocol: Dimensional Deployment.
Uh oh. That doesn't sound like a birthday surprise.
A countdown flashed:
3… 2… 1…
The ground beneath me shattered like glass.I felt my consciousness stretched, twisted, snapped forward like a slingshot.
----
Teleportation
I crashed into solid stone or rather, I stabbed into it.(A perfect landing. 10/10 form. Very sharp.)
A new message floated before me:
You Have Been Force-Deported Into Enemy Territory.
Complete Three Missions to Return to Your WorldRestore Your Fractured Soul by Recovering Lost PiecesSoul Pieces: 0 / 3
Great.I'm stuck in Villain Land with my soul in installment payments.
Before I could complain further—
The sky erupted.
MISSION 1: CRUSH THE ENEMY ARMYSection 1 — The Army of the Thousand Ladles
The enemy plains stretched endlessly.Mountains of black cauldrons.Legions of armored utensils marching in perfect rhythm.Drums boomed like thunder, each beat rattling my blade.
Then I saw them.
The Army of the Thousand Ladles.
Ladles with helmets.Ladles with shields.Ladles with capes.A few emotional ones carried motivational flags like:
"Scoop the Future You Want!"
Pantharion (who got transported with me somehow) whispered,"Pointy… those are Elite War Ladles from the Forbidden Kitchen Realm. Their scooping technique is legendary."
"They're SPOONS with muscles," I muttered."How dangerous can they be?"
One ladle flexed.Its handle cracked the air like a whip.
Okay. Dangerous.
The Ladle Army roared,
And charged like a boiling tsunami.
---
The Battle Begins
My wielder grabbed me.Lightning crackled along my edge as the Divine Weapon Title activated:
[Title: Apex of the Cutting Path Active]
+1000% Sharpness
+500% Style+∞% Drama
Oh, nice.
The first wave hit us. Ladles swung down like iron meteors.
CLANG!SHING-SHAAA!
I sliced through them like soft tofu.Their armor melted off my blade in ribbons of glowing scrap metal.
Pantharion roared,"Pointy! Watch out —THEY ARE FORMING A LADLE TORNADO!"
A spinning vortex of ladles launched toward us like a metallic blender.
"Alright," I muttered, "time to overcut."
The world slowed.Lines of weakness glowed across the tornado.
I cut it. All of it.Vertically. Horizontally. Diagonally. Sashimi-style.
The tornado fell apart like confetti.
The Ladle Army froze.
Then… they ran.
Mission 1 complete.
A glowing fragment rose from the battlefield.
Soul Piece Acquired! (1/3)
Two more to go.
MISSION 2: DEFEAT THE ENEMY
GENERALSection 2 — General Cleaveron the Unbreakable
A heavy shadow fell across the battlefield.
The ground shook.The mountains shook.MY EXISTENCE shook.
And he appeared—
The legendary butcher blade.
General Cleaveron, a sentient cleaver the size of a cart.
His blade was cracked, scorched, and engraved with kill-count tally marks.His aura? Pure BBQ murder.
"So… you must be the Knife of Chaos."His voice was deep enough to tenderize meat.
"And you're… a walking chopping board's worst nightmare," I replied.
He grinned.
"Cute. Let's see if you cut as well as you talk."
The Duel of Blades
He charged first — a vertical chop capable of splitting continents.
My wielder dodged —
BOOOOM!
The ground cratered. Dust blasted outward in a shockwave.
We counterattacked.
I slashed at his handle — but sparks exploded.
His metal was insanely dense.
"You'll need to try harder than that, toothpick."
Oh he did NOT just—
I activated:
[Divine Technique: Edge of Infinity]
Cuts through all matter
Cuts through energy
Cuts through emotional baggage if necessary
We clashed again.
His cleaver weight vs my god-level sharpness.
CLANG!KRRAAAK!SHIIIING!
The battlefield trembled with each hit.
Pantharion acted as commentator (uselessly):
"OH MY STOVE GODS—THIS IS LIKE WATCHING A WOK FIGHT A LASER POINTER!"
We exchanged dozens of blows — then hundreds —nuntiln—
I saw it.
One tiny weak spot in his blade.A crack almost invisible.
I whispered,
"Got you."
SHING!
I cut through his core.
He froze. Fell to his knees.
"Hmph… you really are… sharp…""Thanks," I said. "I get that a lot."
He shattered into light.
A glowing fragment floated to me.
Soul Piece Acquired! (2/3)
One left.One final fight.
Pantharion muttered,"…Please let the boss NOT be a fork."
The heavens cracked open.
MISSION 3: DEFEAT THE FINAL BOSSSection 3 — The Lord of Utensils: Emperor FORKULUS
A colossal shadow emerged.
Four tines.A crown. A pitchfork like silhouette.
Oh no.
Oh YES.
It was him.
Emperor Forkulus, ruler of the Utensil Underworld.
8 feet tall.Forged from Forbidden Alloy.Eyes glowing red like overcooked tomatoes.
He pointed his razor-sharp tines at me and laughed.
"Knife of Chaos… you have cut through my soldiers… my general…but YOU WILL NOT CUT—THE FORK OF FATE!!"
I whispered to my wielder:"Okay… so… this is gonna hurt."
Pantharion yelled,"THIS MAN CAN DISH OUT 4 TIMES THE DAMAGE—HE HAS FOUR TINES!!"
Thanks, chef. Very helpful.
FINAL BATTLE: Knife vs Fork
Forkulus launched forward with lightning speed.His four-tine thrust pierced the air itself.
CLASH!
His attack pinned me down.My blade screeched against his metal.
"You cannot defeat me. We forks decide what gets stabbed in destiny itself!"
"Buddy," I said,"I was born to stab destiny."
I activated my ultimate title:
[Apex of the Cutting Path: GODSLAYER MODE]
Edge becomes metaphysical
Can cut concepts
Can cut fate
Can cut spaghetti without bending (terrifying)
My blade glowed blue.Forkulus' tines glowed red.
We clashed again.
Time slowed.
Each strike sent sonic booms across the battlefield.
Forkulus roared,"YOU CANNOT CUT A FORK! WE ARE STRUCTURALLY SUPERIOR!"
"Then I'll cut EVERYTHING." And I did.
I cut the air.I cut the ground.I cut the enemy's morale.I cut dramatic tension.I cut the concept of stabbing itself.
Then—
I cut his tines.
One by one.
SHING!SHING!SHING!SHING!
Forkulus fell to his knees, screaming,"MY… BEAUTIFUL… POINTY BUSINESS ENDS…"
I slashed through his core.
A shockwave erupted.
Forkulus exploded into particles of light.
The final fragment floated to me.
Soul Piece Acquired (3/3)Your Soul Has Been RestoredReturning to Your World…
The realm faded.
Pantharion yelled something like,"POINTYYYYYY NOOOOOO — OH WAIT WE'RE TELEPORTING — OKAY NVM."